Jonty Burton
Jonty Burton is the chief web nerd for the Leader Community Newspapers group in Melbourne - part of News Ltd’s division of suburban newspapers.
He is fascinated by the news that lurks around the corner in Australia’s great sprawling suburbs. And videogames.
Articles by Jonty Burton
Suburban tales: Rules for the pervy uncle, and more
THE past week has been filled with some serious news from serious places. Luckily none of this need concern us…... Read more
Suburban tales: cat versus washing machine
Welcome to another glorious instalment of Suburban Tales – now moved to the business end of the news week. Finally,…... Read more
Suburban tales: kites, miracle trees and laser shootings
After an elongated and almost totally unplanned hiatus, Suburban Tales returns to bring you a smorgasbord of the week’s vaguely…... Read more
Suburban Tales: more computers, less sport
Welcome to another stumble past the concrete downball squares and scuffed adventure playgrounds in suburbs around our nation. As the…... Read more
Suburban Tales: Stray trolleys and sex toys
Welcome to another trawl round the slightly yellow public swimming pools and suspect spa baths across our broad nation. We…... Read more
Suburban Tales: Turtles and nudie runs
Welcome to another brief sojourn through the hot bakes and juice stands across our sun-drenched country. Readers of Suburban Tales…... Read more
Suburban Tales: Utegate revisited
Welcome to another amble around the mission-brown patios and decked al fresco areas festooned across our sea-girt nation. We start…... Read more
Suburban Tales: Graffiti and cougar weddings
WELCOME to another journey around the dilapidated tennis tables and half-finished construction projects in the back sheds of suburbs around…... Read more
Suburban tales: pythons, horses heads and strippers
So that was January. And around Australia, families are coming to terms with the knowledge that the festive puppy they…... Read more
Suburban tales: BBQs, buskers and killer shrubs
Late January, and it’s time for schools to repopulate with wide-eyed kids eager to resume ignoring their teachers in favour…... Read more
Suburban tales: You left your whip and chicken in the cab
Welcome to another trip around the lawn chairs and broken trampolines of our wide brown suburbs. There’s nothing like an…... Read more
Suburban tales: St Nick under siege
Welcome to another week of tales from darkest suburbia, where we ask: “When will the relentless march toward Christmas stories…... Read more
Suburban tales: And the van had ‘Sex Party’ written on it
The people have spoken in two suburban electorates this week, and they said no to sex. Or at least no…... Read more
The dark heart of a suburban Christmas
‘Tis the season to pretend there’s nothing wrong with starting Christmas celebrations this early in December, as we wind our…... Read more
Suburban tales: of hero animals and pole dancing
Welcome to another trek across the nature strips and service lanes of splendid suburbia. We in suburban journoland always do…... Read more
Suburban tales: politics, sex, and getting stuck in school
Welcome to a week of splendid news from the suburbs, towns and semi-divisions around our sunburnt land. We start our…... Read more
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Would you kill for a job?
Who would work in an abattoir? Most of us have done jobs we didn’t want to do because we needed…
Friday Dilemma: child cruelty or harmless fun?
Parenting. It’s the new oneupmanship. Ah, how quaint the days now seem when parents could raise…
Hipsters with hip replacements
Someone once told me that when people reach a certain age they begin dressing in the manner they did…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Punch on: Open thread 09/02/2012
marley says:
I'm one of the older ones, so I've certainly seen a few changes in my time. When I started school I learned to write with a nib pen, dipped in an inkwell (no, I'm not kidding). My mother became a dab hand at getting inkstains out of my clothes. Flicking ink at one another in the classroom was an essential… [read more]From: I’d rather have a piece of toast than listen to crap lyrics
Erick says:
Led Zeppelin are responsible for my all-time favourite mixed metaphor: "There you sit, sit and stare, like a book on a shelf rusting." (Misty Mountain Hop) I laugh every time I hear it. Hmmm, I believe I've decided what to play on the way to work today. [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops
Well, puck me with a fitchfork. The F-word is apparently an acceptable part of Australian speech. That’s… Read more
