Jacqueline Pascarl

Jacqueline Pascarl

Jacqueline has been a writer and social activist since the age of 8 - penning her first protest note regarding anti-abortion posters affixed to the door of the local church. Upon receiving the strap from her school principal, Sr Philomena, Jacqueline noted with satisfaction the nun’s comments on her unique writing style and use of grammar and punctuation.

A genuine fallen princess of the royal variety and sometime subject of media interest, she has been deployed as an humanitarian aid worker & Special Ambassador everywhere from war zones in The Balkans and East Timor, to Maasai villages in Kenya, and on Nelson Mandela’s child literacy projects in South Africa. She has lectured at the European Union and the US State Department on human rights issues and given speeches at the United Nations, but she considers her scariest time of gainful employment to be her stint with Australia’s television networks where she worked as an investigative reporter, journalist, producer, documentary film maker and presenter.

With three bestselling books published in thirty languages – most of which she cannot understand – (although she does speak eight tongues badly), Jacqueline has been a correspondent for BBC Radio and contributed to magazines whilst managing to breed in all her reproductive decades, popping out four children now aged 6 to 26. She can drive a truck and has commanded a platoon of military types whilst under fire. (The bullet missed.)

Jacqueline has received several awards including a UN Commendation. During the Victorian Bushfire Emergency, Jacqueline organised massive relief efforts in convoys of vehicles and distributed aid across the state – a portion of her daily journals were reproduced in Black Saturday – Stories of Love, Loss & Courage from the Victorian Bushfires, published by HarperCollins/News Ltd.

A self-appointed arbiter of good taste and modern etiquette, Jacqueline is currently working on three new books due to a love of multi-tasking, and blogs regularly at jacquelinepascarl.blogspot.com. She admits to being a hopeless chocoholic and having an abysmal attitude to sports.

Articles by Jacqueline Pascarl

Hell has been franchised and it’s hiding in the suburbs

Hell has been franchised and it’s hiding in the suburbs

14 Oct 10 Ikea dearest, I remember the excitement as your latest tome plopped into my letterbox with the all the promise of…... Read more

The plot is lost, I’ve happily gone mad in suburbia

The plot is lost, I’ve happily gone mad in suburbia

21 Sep 10 The camel is broken, I’ve lost the plot and, quite frankly, it’s been absolutely liberating.  \ Queue sharp intake of…... Read more

Food allergy fascists make peanuts of us all

Food allergy fascists make peanuts of us all

09 Mar 10 Be afraid, be very afraid. The food Nazis are on the hunt through suburban school lunch boxes. Food is no…... Read more

When your body is trying to tell you something, listen

When your body is trying to tell you something, listen

24 Feb 10 The liberation that several near death experiences in quick succession gives you is, well, liberating. And on that note fellas,…... Read more

Cakes are the least of poor Bindi’s worries

14 Jul 09 Cake schmake. Just shut up and pass the eggs! Dave Penberthy’s musings about Rosemary Stanton’s rant on the evil of…... Read more

An open letter to men with fast cars and fancy watches

01 Jul 09 Nothing screams erectile dysfunction as loudly as a diamond encrusted Rolex. In my vast experience of travelling the globe, participating…... Read more

The truth behind the burqa

25 Jun 09 Before this commentary gets underway, I feel that it is necessary to close the gate before the horse bolts. So…... Read more

Cosmetic work can make you mistake chit-chat for orgasm

18 Jun 09 If one’s face can’t register an orgasm, is the climax still as good? Startling as it may seem, I feel…... Read more

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Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Punch on: Open thread 09/02/2012

marley says:

I'm one of the older ones, so I've certainly seen a few changes in my time. When I started school I learned to write with a nib pen, dipped in an inkwell (no, I'm not kidding). My mother became a dab hand at getting inkstains out of my clothes. Flicking ink at one another in the classroom was an essential… [read more]

From: I’d rather have a piece of toast than listen to crap lyrics

Erick says:

Led Zeppelin are responsible for my all-time favourite mixed metaphor: "There you sit, sit and stare, like a book on a shelf rusting." (Misty Mountain Hop) I laugh every time I hear it. Hmmm, I believe I've decided what to play on the way to work today. [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops

No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops

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