Daniel Piotrowski

Daniel Piotrowski

Daniel Piotrowski is a columnist and producer for The Punch and a reporter for news.com.au.

After being asked throughout his young life whether he was related to Tom Piotrowski, the Channel 10 CommSec guy (for the record: he’s not), Daniel chose to follow his namesake into the media.

Dan joined The Punch team in August 2011. He graduated from the University of Technology, Sydney, with a degree in journalism and communications.

There, he edited the student magazine, Vertigo. His crowning achievement in this role was the magazine being censored by student politicians over a poor taste headline about fake breasts. A headline he still thinks is very funny. 

Before joining The Punch, Dan spent a year-and-a-half working on The Australian’s online desk and working for free for every New South Welsh news outlet under the sun.

Dan is the proud owner of a Barack Obama desktop garden gnome.

Articles by Daniel Piotrowski

The outrageous plot to shrink our ridiculous ballot papers

The outrageous plot to shrink our ridiculous ballot papers

12 Mar 13 No wonder so many people scribble penises on their ballots instead of actually voting for someone. They’re too big -…... Read more

Aah! Five unusual ways science fiction is fact

Aah! Five unusual ways science fiction is fact

26 Feb 13 Meteorites blowing up the joint, robots carrying on… The Punch thought it was time to take a look at how…... Read more

Crunch time: Labor MPs to go hard or go home

Crunch time: Labor MPs to go hard or go home

02 Feb 13 Two of the big guns of Julia Gillard’s Government confirmed this morning that they will not contest the next election.…... Read more

Is violence against women our Sandy Hook?

Is violence against women our Sandy Hook?

30 Jan 13 A balding, middle-aged man said something dumb about breastfeeding on TV last week. Furious mums turned out in the force…... Read more

It wasn’t about the bike

It wasn’t about the bike

18 Jan 13 “I view this situation as one big lie.” “It’s just this mythic perfect story and that just wasn’t true.” It…... Read more

Stop the fattism! The prejudice we never talk about

Stop the fattism! The prejudice we never talk about

17 Jan 13 Racism, sexism, ageism, disability-ism, sexual orientation-ism… None of these are really socially acceptable. But what about fattism? Like all prejudices,…... Read more

Fifty shades of crap clichés we should leave in 2012

Fifty shades of crap clichés we should leave in 2012

02 Jan 13 It’s a New Year - time for a fresh start. In everyday life and in the news in 2012, a…... Read more

A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

12 Dec 12 The sniffer dogs are out, the shirts are off, the skirts are short… and the media is using the phrase…... Read more

Punch on: Open thread 30/11/2012

Punch on: Open thread 30/11/2012

30 Nov 12 The Advertising Standards Board is the arbiter of all things proper in advertising. But they’re not the nanny-statists some might…... Read more

Big Tobacco’s packaging fight goes up in smoke

Big Tobacco’s packaging fight goes up in smoke

29 Nov 12 We’re nearly at the day where we (officially) won’t be able to tell the difference between packets of Winnie Blues,…... Read more

Once, only elite athletes took “performance enhancers”...

Once, only elite athletes took “performance enhancers”...

20 Nov 12 Plenty of us need that large cappuccino to get us through the day at work. But if you’re a uni…... Read more

Boofhead brutality super-charged by a Taser

Boofhead brutality super-charged by a Taser

14 Nov 12 The verdict was scathing. We knew it would be. The NSW State Coroner, Mary Jerram, handed down her report this…... Read more

Barack to the future, that place where leaders live

Barack to the future, that place where leaders live

08 Nov 12 There was plenty for Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott to reflect on yesterday, as US President Barack Obama dramatically clinched…... Read more

OBAMA RE-ELECTED FOR SECOND TERM

OBAMA RE-ELECTED FOR SECOND TERM

07 Nov 12 President Obama has dramatically clinched a second term in the White House. FOX News and CNN called the result for…... Read more

Darth Mickey stabs Star Wars with a lightsaber

Darth Mickey stabs Star Wars with a lightsaber

31 Oct 12 Every Star Wars fan felt it this morning. A disturbance in The Force. Probably the biggest since Darth Vader blew…... Read more

All billionaires are crazy, but this guy Trumps them all

All billionaires are crazy, but this guy Trumps them all

25 Oct 12 “I want to be a billionaire, so freakin’ bad” That’s the chorus of a well known Gen Y song. Donald…... Read more

Your electricity company, telling you who to vote for

Your electricity company, telling you who to vote for

25 Oct 12 I was standing in my significant other’s kitchen, doing what I usually do: eating her food, creating a mess and…... Read more

You don’t expect to die when you take a painkiller

You don’t expect to die when you take a painkiller

24 Oct 12 “Goodness!” says a bloke named Tony Trimingham. He’s taken aback. The Punch spoke to Tony last week to hear his…... Read more

We’ve got binders full of issues with these candidates

We’ve got binders full of issues with these candidates

23 Oct 12 Israel, Egypt, Syria, Russia. That was what President Obama and rival Mitt Romney talked about today at the last presidential…... Read more

A primer on “yolo”: Are young people crazier now?

A primer on “yolo”: Are young people crazier now?

18 Oct 12 Yolo. Hashtag, yeah. No, this column isn’t about Yogo, the delicious chocolate yoghurt substance of yore. It’s (kinda) about a…... Read more

Barack wakes up but it’s all about Bush and Libya

Barack wakes up but it’s all about Bush and Libya

17 Oct 12 So the sleepyhead woke up. Whassup, Barack? Lefties in the US were about to jump a fortnight ago, when the…... Read more

Will pokie laws be revived? Might just be hokey

Will pokie laws be revived? Might just be hokey

17 Oct 12 Peter Slipper is soon to be painted in an official portrait to commemorate being Speaker of the House. It’ll cost…... Read more

The Government knows how to stop the sucker punches

The Government knows how to stop the sucker punches

11 Oct 12 We know how to stop this country’s binge on alcohol-fuelled violence. The answers have been sitting in some bureaucrat’s drawer…... Read more

Where was the passion? Obama falls flat at debate

Where was the passion? Obama falls flat at debate

04 Oct 12 The US election is going to be a squeaker. An absolute squeaker, if the presidential debate today (mostly about the…... Read more

Lawsy, what a man. You know what I mean.

Lawsy, what a man. You know what I mean.

03 Oct 12 Like tens of thousands of mothers across the country, my mum constantly had the John Laws Morning Show on every…... Read more

Pepper spray: A means of self-defence?

Pepper spray: A means of self-defence?

03 Oct 12 Katherine, a 22-year-old Sydney law student, has to walk 150 metres from her bus stop to her house every night,…... Read more

Memes: The next big thing have finally gone BIG

Memes: The next big thing have finally gone BIG

28 Sep 12 When actor Clint Eastwood spent a crucial prime-time slot at Republican National Convention berating a wooden chair he pretended Barack…... Read more

Blokes are hooked on porn. What’s the answer?

Blokes are hooked on porn. What’s the answer?

24 Sep 12 The internet took away the obvious creepiness. Once, people had to visit places signposted with fluoroscent lights and dank stairwells…... Read more

Cory’s going to be a loud voice on the backbench

Cory’s going to be a loud voice on the backbench

20 Sep 12 It was his time to shine. Liberal Senator Cory Bernardi has always been outspoken on the issues of gay marriage…... Read more

Hate not on the menu at the Ramadan dinner I attended

Hate not on the menu at the Ramadan dinner I attended

17 Sep 12 “We were not raised on hate.” Speaking about his family and community, that’s what one Sydney Muslim, Ozan Amir, told…... Read more

Alarming new evidence of Dubya terror negligence

Alarming new evidence of Dubya terror negligence

12 Sep 12 Eleven years yesterday since the murder of thousands of innocents in New York and Washington. Eleven years and 36 days…... Read more

More dog poo. Just what the community will want!

More dog poo. Just what the community will want!

11 Sep 12 Dogs belong in backyards digging up bones. Cats, curled up on couches and starring in viral internet videos. That’s their…... Read more

Smackdowns and silly ideas: Fewer local pollies please

Smackdowns and silly ideas: Fewer local pollies please

07 Sep 12 This Punch post isn’t about WWE wrestling. Nothing to do with star John Cena delivering an elevated chokeslam to Kane.…... Read more

I’m so awesome, sucks no one believes me

I’m so awesome, sucks no one believes me

04 Sep 12 Oh man, my train was delayed for a WHOLE hour this morning. No one told us what was going on.…... Read more

Two types of workers: The paid and the unpaid?

Two types of workers: The paid and the unpaid?

31 Aug 12 It’s never a good thing for interns to be in the headlines. The situation Monica Lewinsky fell into when former…... Read more

You’ll be seeing a lot more of this card. But not just yet

You’ll be seeing a lot more of this card. But not just yet

29 Aug 12 It was the controversial program at the heart of the Northern Territory intervention. Many Indigenous people had their welfare money…... Read more

Magpies. Just a flock of stressed out folks

Magpies. Just a flock of stressed out folks

25 Aug 12 You know the moment. The sun’s briefly eclipsed by a dark object. Then a shadow flits across the ground in…... Read more

Punch on: Open thread 24/08/2012

Punch on: Open thread 24/08/2012

24 Aug 12 Lusting for luscious locks? Well, endless advertisements have said: Look no further than Ashley & Martin for your hair needs.…... Read more

How do you say that? Oh, doesn’t really matter, mate

How do you say that? Oh, doesn’t really matter, mate

23 Aug 12 Australia, we suck at pronunciation. After all, we’re the country that can barely pronounce its own name. Aus-tray-lia? It’s Straya,…... Read more

Assange says it’s about you. He owes you some answers

Assange says it’s about you. He owes you some answers

20 Aug 12 Condemning Barack Obama from the balcony of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London last night (Australian time), Julian Assange found himself…... Read more

Punch on: Open thread 17/08/2012

Punch on: Open thread 17/08/2012

17 Aug 12 News broke yesterday that motorbike riders might be required to wear hi-vis fluoro clothing on the roads. But we were…... Read more

What really drives whether we care about the climate

What really drives whether we care about the climate

15 Aug 12 Australians believe climate change is happening. Overwhelmingly. Only 6.5 per cent of us won’t have a bar of it, according…... Read more

Edging ever closer to a State of blissful matrimony

Edging ever closer to a State of blissful matrimony

13 Aug 12 Fed up with the chances of Federal Parliament passing a gay marriage bill this year, marriage equality campaigners have turned…... Read more

Punch on: Open thread 13/08/2012

Punch on: Open thread 13/08/2012

13 Aug 12 Little Athletics has shepherded many young Australians onto the track leading to eventual Olympic stardom. Sally Pearson, for one. Pole-vaulter…... Read more

Men are the new sluts

Men are the new sluts

10 Aug 12 Soft, supple, fake-tanned skin. Brown and honeyed. Clothes tight in all the right places. And lacking in the right places…... Read more

How a city infected by violence took back the streets

How a city infected by violence took back the streets

09 Aug 12 People from Glasgow, the largest city in Scotland, are often typecast by the British media as violent drunks. The stereotype…... Read more

Bringing our Olympic expectations down to Earth

Bringing our Olympic expectations down to Earth

07 Aug 12 “TOUCHDOWN CONFIRMED!” Trust the Yanks to use a gridiron term to describe the landing of the one-tonne plutonium-powered rover, Curiosity,…... Read more

The internet empowered the trolls… and the complainers

The internet empowered the trolls… and the complainers

03 Aug 12 Facebook pages of celebrities are being trolled by a particularly ‘Strayan identity of late. Potentially the only person in the…... Read more

Now, this is crazy

Now, this is crazy

01 Aug 12 Hey! I just met you, And this is craz—- um, unadvisable, But here’s my number, So call me maybe. They’re…... Read more

Real heroes walk away

Real heroes walk away

26 Jul 12 David Mitchell. Matthew Stanley. If those names don’t mean anything to you, they belong to two people - a then…... Read more

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The Punch is moving house

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Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

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Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

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Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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