Chris Paine
Chris Paine is a journalist for news.com.au. In 2009, he graduated from the Academy of Awesome and joined Twitter (@christoforpaine) on a Batman Scholarship. He dresses as Vanilla Ice on his birthday and eats porridge for brinner.
Articles by Chris Paine
Guess what ... none of you are Andy Warhol
Ninety-five per cent of social media users should hand over their keys; they’re too drunk on self-importance to drive. Without…... Read more
Not a boy, not yet a man
It struck me the other day, having just trimmed my moustache and assembled a barbecue, all by myself, that perhaps…... Read more
Seven ways to be a nice guy
Seriously guys, just be COOL. Not ‘cool’ in the private-school-jock-sense of being cool - teasing you for your rust-red hair,…... Read more
Walk a mile in someone else’s battered shoes…
Why can’t we be friends? I’m not ghost-writing for Gandhi or the Dalai Lama and I’ll try to keep clear…... Read more
A four-pronged strategy to coping with mental illness
Today is World Mental Health Day. We need to have a conversation about coping. Step 4, as advocated by Chris…... Read more
Brisbane. A pleasant town quite close to Caboolture
Brisbane is the capital city of Queensland, Australia. It’s the third largest city in Australia. You don’t need this Wikipedia…... Read more
Can’t make laws against boofheads. Can walk away.
I’ve never been in a fight. I’m not the macho, hot-headed type. I get angry, to be sure. People piss…... Read more
The sticklers of the past have been subbed out of the game
This morning I read this interesting piece from the SMH Readers’ Editor about spelling and grammatical errors in copy. I…... Read more
When did trashy television become my life? #fail
It’s like this. On Tuesday night I had a startling realisation: I’ve surrendered my personality and/or masculinity to popular culture…... Read more
We sure hope your morning coffee tastes better than this
My Starbucks bugbear: the coffee just sucks. Really badly. America and Japan are among the world’s leading innovators. So why…... Read more
The Voice: His dreamy eyes just Sealed the deal
UH-OH. You looked into Seal’s eyes, didn’t you. Rookie mistake. It’s OK, you’re not alone. On Sunday night, while pretending…... Read more
Roll out the red carpet for a ruddy e-pocalypse
Don’t be fooled. The end is coming, and it’s coming on Monday morning. At exactly 10am, Australian Eastern Daylight Time,…... Read more
People in 2012 are asking: Who’s this droning old fart?
Three moments in my life have prompted me to question humanity at its very core. The first was when Jerry…... Read more
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Up to the minute Twitter chatter
RT @HeatherSmithAU: Can living in another country change your life for the better? by @lucyjk on @newscomau f. moi http://t.co/E5Ma3kBut2
More class from 9's footy show, lampooning a baby that allegedly looks like Sterlo with a pic swiped from Facebook http://t.co/BGoYP6Pn68
Recent posts
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The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
