So Kevin and Wayne have found themselves in another precarious position. The latest two polls show Kevin is about as popular as ugg boots in Darwin. The election is so close that even that sweaty, bike riding wing-nut Tony Abbott could win the thing.

Poolside cocktails: now that's what we call stimulus.

The Budget will be delivered tonight and the Treasurer has suggested that this will be a no frills budget with no election year spending to win votes, but hey, it’s already been the year of the political back flip and desperate times call for desperate measures.

I’m sure that the Prime Minister and the Treasurer got together yesterday to thrash out what they could possibly come up with to stimulate the polling. Never mind stimulating the economy, it’s the voting that needs vigorous stimulation.

“How about we just shelve the entire ETS ?” said Wayne.  “Oh….it seems we’ve already done that”

“How about we just pay everyone a thousand dollars to vote for us ?”

No, done that too.

There are no schools left anywhere in the country that need anything built or painted or even knocked down and re-built. First home-buyers grants and baby bonuses have all been overdone. There’s nobody to apologise to, no international agreements to sign and no planets within the vicinity of ours that can be saved. The saving grace is that they do have 50 warehouses of pink batts ready to go, but the Prime Minister is of the mind that he may leave them sitting there for the time being and use them as a last resort.

Yesterday’s meeting would have been one of those ‘no idea is a bad idea’ whiteboard brainstorming sessions.

How about a bike bonus?  The Greens would love it and it would mean beating that dastardly Tony Abbott at his own game. $500 for every person who turns up to vote either on a bike or even just wearing lycra. It could be included in the health budget because it encourages fitness and keeps people out of the hospitals.

I believe there was talk of a Richmond Tigers and Cronulla Sharks bonus….that anyone who is left supporting the Tiges or the Sharkies really deserves a thousand dollars from somewhere. 

Some of the other ideas included
• A free swimming pool for every householder
• A dog and cat bonus…a $500 one off payment for every pet you have
• A free I-pad for every Australian, even those who are overseas or deceased.
• Wayne suggested a free soccer ball for every child in celebration of the 2010 World Cup……and return tickets to South Africa with tix to all the Socceroos games.
• And there’s been talk of bundling those pink batts together to make big pink mattresses…one for each home,  but they’re a little prickly.

Can you think of any others ?  If you’ve fallen off the Rudd train in recent months, what will it take you get back on board ?

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29 comments

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    • Bec says:

      05:48am | 11/05/10

      I just want a viable socially progressive, economically moderate alternative to vote for. :(

      Stuff it all, I’m writing erotic parliamentary slash fanfiction on my ballot paper this year.

    • dancan says:

      10:17am | 11/05/10

      Send me a copy.  I’m sure it will be far more enthralling than anything generated by this up coming electron.

      Extra points if you include a gerbil

    • Luke says:

      08:12am | 11/05/10

      Rudd and Swan keep saying it will be a “no frills budget”, hardly surprising when he’s been handing out money all over the place for weeks now leading up to the budget, Fiscally responsible? I don’t think so. And his budget relies on the 40% super profit tax which they are now negotiating over with mining company’s and the states. Why do they keep making announcements before they actually have policy worked out? It might make the budget bottom line look good, but will it happen?

    • Paul2 says:

      09:26am | 11/05/10

      The Super Tax replaces the cash they were hoping to reap from the ETS, which wasn’t about the money after all what with saving the planet and all that.

    • joe says:

      11:55am | 11/05/10

      Didn’t they spin that their first budget was going to be tough to rein in inflation. Yeah right - it wasn’t. Remember when inflation was the big Howard baddy they had to tackle. Then 5 minutes later they had to splash the cash like drunken sailors.  Its all spin. Why do the media even repeat these vague spin lines from Rudd and Swan?

    • Steve the Elder says:

      09:03am | 11/05/10

      I paid for my own roof insulation, funded my own superannuation, received no baby bonus or subsidized child minding for raising my three children. I understand that many middle class working families throughout Australia need help to achieve these things. I just wish they would stop whinging about it.

    • Ryan says:

      10:35am | 11/05/10

      @Steve the Elder : let us all guess, you are a baby boomer, the same ones who got free education, cheap housing, job opportunities by the ton, record boom times and a social system engineered to you every step of the way (through no fault of your own, we understand this). And now you are one of those boomers that stay in their job instead of retiring because they didn’t invest conservatively in the lead up to their retirement or have extricated every last cent out of their super to invest in property which in turn shoves the price of property well out of the reach of every generation following yours. By staying in that job, no following generations get the same opportunities nor pay that you have managed to demand for so many years. Now you feel you have the right to whine about these generations that have been screwed by the baby boomers who are doing nothing more than try to provide for their families at half of the standards your generation demanded. Sure seems obnoxious if you ask me.

    • Mazzy says:

      12:05pm | 11/05/10

      like you steve the elder i did this as well we also had 16% home loan . we just had to manage because the choices we made were our own responsibility. so enough of the whingers.

    • Steve the Elder says:

      12:06pm | 11/05/10

      @Ryan: I have been a self funded retiree for the past 5 years and I switched to cash long before the crash. Being a baby boomer meant I did not believe the financial planners (con men) who said the market would go on climbing forever. I paid off my home after surviving 17% interest rates; have never been to Bali or Phuket with the kids and I still pay income tax to support young bludgers like you.

    • Chris says:

      12:10pm | 11/05/10

      Pretty much everything that Ryan said.

      Thanks, Baby Boomers. You are the most molly-coddled generation in history and you have the nerve to pin our problems on those struggling under you. When I’m 45 and finally finish paying off my student debt, IF I’m lucky to have a decent career, I might be able to look into finally owning a new car, or even sinking myself into half a million dollars of debt for a tiny house in an area with no transport, schools, or jobs.

    • Adam MacLeod says:

      12:19pm | 11/05/10

      @Mazzy, don’t forget 16% of 100K is much less than 7% of 500K.  House prices are SOOO much more expensive now than in the 1980s.

      There’s a number of reasons for that, but the fact that we still allow negative gearing on investment properties would have a lot to do with it.
      The Henry Tax report suggested phasing this out, but we shouldn’t hold our collective breath for that to happen.

    • Steve the Elder says:

      12:21pm | 11/05/10

      @Chris : moved out of home yet? or are you still bludging on your baby boomer parents? Never mind, they might die any day now and leave you their wealth. Just remember: he who waits for a dead man’s shoes goes a long time barefoot.

    • Ryan says:

      12:58pm | 11/05/10

      @Steve the Elder: how much did you pay for your house at 17% Steve? Did you pay for your education Steve?
      As for the income tax, well good on you for keeping working and keeping those “bludgers” from progressing through, hey you need a pat on the back for that, then again, do you or do you not use Super as a vehicle to pay less income tax Steve? I mean you wouldn’t be caught dead contributing a large amount of your wages into Super and then drawing it down later would you?
      Spare us the whining about the generations your generation has screwed, the facts are out there and no Steve most of the generations that have followed yours, “bludgers” as you call us, have not been to Bali or Phuket with the kids, something that is different between your generation and ours is that ours wont be a generation of obnoxious “skii-ers” robbing our kids blind then “spending the kids inheritance” and expecting them (or public pension) to support me in later life. They don’t call baby boomers the ME generation for nothing.

    • stevem says:

      01:49pm | 11/05/10

      Adam, If negative gearing was the cause everybody would have 2 or 3 investment properties & every second house would be an empty rental property screaming for tenants. Negative gearing doesn’t help but the lack of supply is the real cause of high house prices.

    • Chris says:

      02:19pm | 11/05/10

      @Steve the Elder

      I had to move CONTINENT to get a decent job in the big-business padnering financial climate of the Howard era. I paid my own way through university and haven’t lived at home for five years. Even when I did, I paid board, cooked, cleaned and otherwise helped my family to pay my way.

      My parents earned what they have and they are entitled to it, but never once have they accused people younger than them of having it easier than them. The children of the post-war baby boom happened to be born in a time of prosperity not seen before or since. Those who didn’t make use of it were fools.

      So, instead of assuming that I am one of the mythical army of young bludgers, let’s get back to the fact that Baby Boomers own everything, control all the money and were afforded priveledges of which my generation can only dream.

    • NCG says:

      04:30pm | 11/05/10

      Chris & Ryan; I’m only 27 and suspect a similar age to you; unfortunately you are giving my generation a terrible reputation. Quit your complaining, get off your arse, work hard and reap the benefits. Crossing your arms and saying “they had it easy, why not me” is insanely childish and will only ever end badly. While 16% on 100K is considerably less than 7% on 500K, remember that comparative to the average wage, 100K was significant in the 80’s.

      I do however have a significant problem with the idea of ‘Ski-ing’ by the baby boomer generation, as it’s nothing short of selfish in my view. Considering that previous generations made the sacrifice and effort to save and invest in order to pass it on, I’m unsure why baby boomers feel it’s their right to spend this intergenerational collective wealth?

    • Chris says:

      05:11pm | 11/05/10

      @NCG

      I never complained. I said that my parents were entitled to what they earned and by extension implied that anyone else who earns their keep deserves their just reward. But if there’s one thing that I am and you should be sick of is being constantly heaped into a category of people that scarcely exists.

      Read my post mate, I paid for my life during my degree, I’ll pay for the degree that they didn’t, I’ll carve a career out of crippling competition that they never dealt with, I’ll buy a house that even after adjustments for current dollar values will cost FAR more and they will STILL complain that we have it too easy.

      I’ve probably been off my arse longer than you, despite we being the same age. I’ve never been without a job since I was 15. What do i have to show for it? Not a lot. Things are harder than they were 40 years ago. Anyone who says different either has no idea what they are talking about, or are looking at the world through a perspective skewed by a charmed life.

    • Ryan says:

      06:04pm | 11/05/10

      @NCG : We weren’t the ones complaining, we were merely pointing out the FACTS to Steve here who decided he wanted to have a go at our generation, I believe he classifies us all as “bludgers” who are apparently whining and I quote “I understand that many middle class working families throughout Australia need help to achieve these things. I just wish they would stop whinging about it. “

      As for sitting on our asses, well if having held significant contributory roles in fortune 500 companies in three different countries around the world in my 35 years of life is considered sitting around bludging and whining then sure I fit that category. Oh and yes I have experienced the baby boomer induced glass ceiling, its very much alive and well.

    • Fleeced says:

      09:54am | 11/05/10

      The “super profit” tax was announced earlier to balance tonight’s forecast figures, so that gives them some more money to spend.

      Nothing they announce will make me vote for the guy - but they may look at dental coverage as part of their health overhaul.

    • EJ says:

      02:42pm | 11/05/10

      But the 40% super tax hasn’t been passed by parliament yet. How can they make a budget when they don’t actually have any money to budget with??

    • Nicki says:

      11:06am | 11/05/10

      Don’t blame Government for your own stupidity,laziness and greed.
      The pink batts fiasco is fault of the company who took advantage and riped off the government and customers.
      They are the one to blame and I would take criminal action and prosecute them.
      When people will learn to take responsibilities,if Salvo give you nappies for your child and your child make a poo, do you expect Salvation Army to come and change the nappy?
      The government had good idea to help people,the people abuse it.
      Point your anger and complain to the right direction.
      It is time that we all took responsibility.

    • soultrader says:

      11:30am | 11/05/10

      @ Nicki
      Hi - how are you doin?
      Just a reminder - Mr Rudd said the buck stops with him and he is assuming all responsibility for Labor’s policy failures. But I suppose, assuming responsibility and resigning are 2 completely different things.
      He could do at least that for working families becaue there is no silver bullet anymore - he gave it away.
      Cheers.

    • Benny says:

      11:29am | 11/05/10

      We need change. Rudd had his chance and failed. He doesn’t derserve another chance because the bloke is clueless about running the country. Rudd lied, wasted our money and wasted all chance to get good policy out there.

    • Armemall says:

      12:14pm | 11/05/10

      How about a free firearm for all, then offer a buy back at double the going rate for thm.

      Or a free Rudd, three wheeled skateboard, you have to buy the 4th wheel, so that will get things rolling.. bah ha bah ha…

    • NCG says:

      04:41pm | 11/05/10

      Given his current approval rating, free firearms could be a risky move wink

    • Moggy says:

      02:37pm | 11/05/10

      How about a fire hydrant & hose for every house that had pink batts shoved over the top of downlights by “overseas” installers!

    • Aitch B says:

      04:55pm | 11/05/10

      How about one of those punching blow up doll thingys that you put sand in the bottom of so it returns after whacking it?

      Your choice of colour, size, resilience and most importantly, politician.

      Special ‘party packs’ for rusted on blinkered followers of their favourite ‘hate party’ that includes an additional three of your favourites. Great for ‘get smashed and bash’ parties with your politically aligned friends .

      Special ‘working family’ packs that include two adult and two child dolls with a dog and cat one thrown in so you can teach your pets to pee on them.

      ‘Superannuation’ versions that are guaranteed not to come back and hit you in the face 50 years later.

      ‘Gen Y’ ones that include an iPad, an iPhone and a $500 JB voucher.

      “Good News Week” versions that come with a big yellow dot to stand on while you berate the living bejeezus out of your #1 ‘hate’ pollie.

      Only problem is that no company in Australia would be capable of making them…. they’d have to come from China!!

    • Robert James Gray says:

      09:26am | 12/05/10

      I am a baby boomer from country NSW. In the 50’s,I recall as a youngster, watching some old diggers player dominoes on the old benches in the local park. When I asked my father why most of them seem to have the third and fourth fingers missing, he explained; “these men came back from WW1 with nothing, went back to the coal mines and tried to raise large families. During the depression years, most were working one week in six and could not support their families. There being no social security in those days, on the last day of their shift, they would put their hands on the trolley lines and chop off a finger. The compensation they received was enough to feed their family for the next few weeks.” 
      As a young man, my father worked in the mines but worked his way out! Now days, miners are paid extremely well and do not suffer the deprivation of their forefathers.
      Gen X & Gen Y you have never had it so good. I know I have had it so much better than my father and grandfather.

    • Chris says:

      05:43pm | 12/05/10

      I notice that none of this was anything that you personally had to endure. My point from one of my earlier posts is that the Baby Boomer generation had it the best of anyone. We, of the younger generations have far more to deal with at a much higher personal cost. But that isn’t to say that we think we are hard done by. Of course the Great Depression was worse, it devastated the entire Western world. Nobody will argue that. However, you can’t tell us that we are doing so well and use them as an example. You weren’t there either, so move over and share the boat.

 

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