McDonalds has bent like the proverbial river weed in the current of coffee snobbery sweeping through Australia.

First, I caress the bean with my tongue, then… Photo: AFP

No longer content to swill International Roast, cheap-a-cinos or the brown-coloured water that percolates through thrice-used grounds, Australians today demand proper coffee.

Where once it was a privilege to sup a cup of creamy latte made from beans harvested from the strained foecal matter of the rare jungle-dwelling civet, now it is a human right without which we are debased.

News.com.au reports that in the wake of devastating critiques of their McCafe coffee (with one withering consumer comparing the drop to the byproduct of the second stage of purification at the Bolivar waste treatment plant) they will now hire professional baristas and start sourcing coffee beans from plants hand-raised in the purified air of the Andes.

So have no fear, ye of the refined tastebuds. Before long, instead of dropping by your local fast food franchise for a quick, cheap caffeine fix, you can stare in wonderment as a waistcoat-clad man with Italianate pretensions and a shiny quiff froths your biodynamic milk to a creamy slurry and carves intricate leitmotifs into the organic chocolate sprinkles on your free-range-slave-trade-friendly-catpoo-foraged coffee.

Many have suggested that as part of McDonalds overblown mea culpa and promises to improve their consumables that perhaps their décor could also use a makeover.

Local Australian designers would surely leap at the chance to replace sturdy plastic with Tasmanian hardwoods; pickle-proof walls with experimental art; gaudy play equipment with zen-style gardens design to soothe eyes and spirits.

Then there are the dime-a-dozen workers, cheap labour that no longer meets the discerning aesthetic demands of today’s consumer. Who wouldn’t prefer to be greeted by the kohl-lined gaze of a former boutique owner, seduced into the now high-end glamour of your local McDonalds and prepared to lavish you with unending condescension?

Maybe McDonalds could also undergo a geographical transformation , and shift away from oversized blocks to trendy inner city alleyways, with barely visible signage and dusty bookshelves, odd angles and unrecognisable music.

They could offer grazing plates and oddly shaped homemade pastries; Chinese tea blossoms that swell to full splendour in clear teapots and quiches garnished with micro-herbs.

And because there’d be no pickles to throw, the walls could be decorated with the offerings of up-and-coming artists making heartbreaking comment on the state of today’s consumer-driven society.

Yeah, that’d be heaps better.

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    • fairsfair says:

      01:04pm | 01/06/11

      Gold Tors.

      I’ve never had issues with Maccas Coffee… probably because it is Maccas, I was expecting a warm, milky, cofee-y type beverage. They were 100% on the money with that. If I was a coffee snob, I probably would not be going to Maccas for coffee in the first place.

      I love coffee, but I love laughing at wannabe coffee snobs more. I always have visions of booting somene in the *rse after they take a sip, recoil in horror and advise “oh, the creme is non existant and that is clearly burnt”. Get your hand off it!

    • dancan says:

      01:25pm | 01/06/11

      Wannabe coffee snobs?  Does this mean you’re insinuating that your fully fledged snob, capable of fully enjoying the warm, milky, coffee-y type beverage?  Enjoying the subtle flavours on a level far above the common punter, allowing you to completely appreciate the drink and its many complexities as opposed from everyone just else saying “this coffee is crap”?

    • Damien says:

      02:06pm | 01/06/11

      Ok first up I’m assuming they mean McCafe, rather than the over-the-counter coffee.

      The coffee from McCafe isnt THAT bad.. its a little weak in comparison to other cafe’s but hey, so is Starbucks and can be easily fixed by making it a double shot. The mea culpa seems a little overblown.. perhaps they have been watching the Domino’s Pizza campaign too closely.

    • fairsfair says:

      02:09pm | 01/06/11

      Whilst I am certain words like warm, milky, coffee-y are hard core industry lingo - I just mean coffee to me is Blend43 if that is all that is going.

      If you want a coffee, get a coffee, make a coffee, buy a coffee - just don’t bag the shit out of the coffee if it hasn’t been licked by a civit.

      Nothing is nicer than a good latte, but with people not liking it strong, people loving it half strength, people loving it putting hair on their chest - how is one coffee shop supposed to cater to the progressive palate of the coffee elite? If there is one out there, I doubt it is fronted by a clown called Ronald and offers a fwoot bag amongst other fantastic menu items.

      And what is with Gloria Jeans incessently asking you if you want chocolate on a capaccino? Isn’t that what makes it a capaccino? What is the point of having a half strength, decaf, skinny soy cap with no chocolate? Is that even coffee?

    • SimpleSimon says:

      03:23pm | 01/06/11

      @fairsfair - the chocolate on capaccinos is a relatively new addition. Originally the flat white > latte > capaccino meant little more than how much froth was on top of the coffee.

      I can be a bit of a coffee snob at times, but regardless of that, how can you not notice when a coffee machine is filthy and the milk has been heated to a point where, no matter how much sugar you put in, it tastes like liquid charcoal? I have had coffee at McCafe’s that are acceptable, because you don’t expect something fantastic, but I’ve also had coffee from there that is nigh on undrinkable because it is just badly made.

    • Jason Todd says:

      03:25pm | 01/06/11

      Fairsfair, I used to have a regular customer who would order a skinny cappuccino, no foam, no chocolate. Despite me insisting that what they were ordering was a skinny flat white, they persisted with ordering the way they ordered. I think they thought it sounded fancier that way.

    • Redeker Plan says:

      03:32pm | 01/06/11

      @ fairsfair “What is the point of having a half strength, decaf, skinny soy cap with no chocolate? Is that even coffee? “

      A mate of mine who worked in a genuine coffee establishment referred to that type of abomination as a “why bother”, and would undiplomatically shriek it from the cash register to the barista when anyone ordered it.

      As for the Maccas coffee issue, like others I assume we’re talking about ‘McCafe”, cos who the hell would willingly pay to ingest the toxic dripolator brew they serve up in the standard McChucks? 

      I only patronise McCafe when I desperately need a coffee on a road trip in the country, because sometimes that’s really the only option.  I got off the Spirit of Tassie in Devonport at 7 am on Good Friday morning and it was literally the only place open that we could find.  Same thing on an early Sunday morning in outer Adelaide when I had to hit the highway back to Melbourne.  Both times I waited nearly 20 minutes for a large cup of something that resembled the stuff I empty out of the drip tray in my trusty old Saeco at home.  So I hate it with a passion, but when I need a coffee, I need it now and am unbearable to be around until I get one.  If that makes me a “coffee snob”, well so be it.

    • fairsfair says:

      03:48pm | 01/06/11

      I don’t think a coffee snob is a bad thing. Most of my family are and I have gone through periods where I just won’t drink it unless I can get it from my favourite place. But sometimes, like you say Redeker - you just want one, so you get it. So perhaps I am too a coffee snob, but I am not going to flatly refuse to drink a coffee or loudly comment on its standard if I think it is a bit ave.

      You aren’t going to stand there and chastise the 14 year old kid who made it for you simply because he tamped his grounds too hard and over heated the milk and *shock horror* spooned the froth on.

      The wannabes are the issue and it would be all these “why botherers” who would be doing the complaining.

      I did my teenage stint at the local Coffee Shop (Jamaica Blue, back when it was new, clean and exciting), and my favourite thing in the world was when people just added “a chino” on the end of whatever they were ordering. My dad to this day calls it “Cup of Chino”. Love it.

    • Balala says:

      04:04pm | 02/06/11

      I don’t think it’s snobbery to expect a drinkable coffee. My local coffee shop got a new barista for the weekend shifts and she is terrible. I really cannot drink the coffee. The first time I returned it and asked for another one (nicely of course), which they obliged; the second was just as bad as the first and I simply did not drink it.
      I think Maccas is going over the top. It is McCafe, after all - not exactly the place you go to for a well made coffee. But if they’re going to improve it I won’t complain - it’s now the only place in my town where I can get drinkable coffee on weekends!

    • Jason Todd says:

      05:22pm | 03/06/11

      Balala, “Drinkable” is a relative term. I know plenty of poeple who will drink water pulled through four week old grounds and filtered through an old sock and call it drinkable coffee. I also know people who consider coffee undrinkable unless it is made with organic milk and single origin double roasted coffee beans. Unless you are able to articulate to the barista WHY the coffee is bad, they really can’t help you.

    • Bitten says:

      01:11pm | 01/06/11

      Awesomest photo and caption ever.

    • Geoff - Brisbane says:

      01:28pm | 01/06/11

      I have to agree with this. That is the best pic ive seen on the punch. Good work Tory.

    • Shenanigans says:

      02:24pm | 01/06/11

      I third this motion.
      the caption made me chuckle. I want one of what ever is in the photo though, it looks so awesome

    • fairsfair says:

      04:27pm | 01/06/11

      Would you drink the coffee though? It eats the fruit and craps out the beans, which are “harvested”.

      mmm, yummo!

    • Bitten says:

      05:06pm | 01/06/11

      @fairs:  if that thing looked at me with its bulgy eyes and told me to “ssss….dddrrrink the poop coffeee, precioussssss…” I’d do it.

    • Edward James says:

      06:43am | 02/06/11

      The photo is awesome because it reminds me of the movie Bucket List and the wealthy mans ( played by Jack Nicholson) penchant for drinking expensive coffee made from civet shit! People will pay more for the hype. Edward James

    • AnthonyG says:

      01:12pm | 01/06/11

      I havent stopped at Macas for ages all because of that crap they call coffee. I would rather drink the Murray River water .

    • Mathias says:

      01:13pm | 01/06/11

      Maccas>Gloria Jeans

    • Edward James says:

      06:49am | 02/06/11

      @ Mathias. Maccas > Gloria Jeans. How so,is it because they support the coffee bean growers better? Edward James

    • Tubesteak says:

      01:13pm | 01/06/11

      No-one goes to McDonald’s expecting decent food. Barely edible crap that you eat because everywhere else is shut and it’s late is their forte.

      Often when I pick my brother up to drive out to our parent’s place he’ll ask me to stop at McDonald’s so he can get a coffee. I then give him a 30 minute lecture on proper coffee and how McDonald’s is crap only consumed by morons that don’t know any better.

      One day I’ll remember to introduce him to Toby’s Estate in Woolloomooloo. Best coffee I’ve found yet and brewed and roasted right there!

    • Tim says:

      01:45pm | 01/06/11

      A 30 minute lecture just because he wants some caffeine?
      Sounds like a fun car trip.

    • Jack says:

      02:05pm | 01/06/11

      Toby’s roasting is done in Chippendale. And espresso isnt brewed. Stop trying so hard. And go to Workshop or Mecca in the city.

      I’d drink a gallon of McCafe before a drop of Gloria Jeans, Coffee Club or any number of rubbish, overpriced inner city cafes. Scalded, bitter $4 coffee is par for the course in Australia, and you dont need to go to a megachain to get it.

      Hilarious that the Masterchef watching bogans on news.com.au are just lapping up a clever peice of advertising from McDonalds with their ‘sophisticated palates’.

    • fairsfair says:

      02:10pm | 01/06/11

      I bet he can’t even drink it in the car in case he spills it wink

    • Tubesteak says:

      04:40pm | 01/06/11

      Jake
      If their roasting is done in Chippendale then what are those big vats that are always hot doing in their Woolloomooloo store?

      I’m pretty sure they’re roasting.

      I never drink from the large chain stores. They’re all crap.

      Fairsfair
      I think Maccas give you those lids. But I never take him there anyway so it’s not an issue. He’s learning not to ask now.

      Tim
      You get a better boost from eating an apple than drinking coffee. Maccas coffee is like the rest of their over-sugared sludge.

    • fairsfair says:

      04:51pm | 01/06/11

      lol

      Both the auto-coffee and the apple pies peel the skin from the roof of your mouth. Its a win win.

    • Eskimo says:

      01:16pm | 01/06/11

      If they can make a bigger profit by serving better quality coffee, isn’t that the free market in operation?

    • NSW says:

      01:17pm | 01/06/11

      The thing with a lot of coffee ‘lovers’ is that they are full of s***. “Oh the coffee at that place is teeeerible” Whilst they sip on their decaf moccalattefagacino. Have a long black if you want to know what real coffee is.

    • AdamC says:

      01:40pm | 01/06/11

      Actually, I have noticed that a lot of coffee afficianados (sp) have now gone a bit off the who espresso thing. They seem to be rediscovering percolation and going nuts for syphoning. (Even the ‘French press’ - AKA 1990s coffee plunger - is making a comback!)

      I agree that having latte-style drinks (which are effectibvely milk flavoured with coffee) is inconsistent with profound coffee appreciation. Having said that, there is something quite uniquely Australian about a flat white. (Has anyone ever tried to get one of those overseas?)

    • James1 says:

      03:42pm | 01/06/11

      “Even the ‘French press’ - AKA 1990s coffee plunger - is making a comback!”

      I never stopped using mine.  My love for my plunger is second only to my love of my family.  Indeed, after I wake up, the latter is dependant on the former…

    • AdamC says:

      05:14pm | 01/06/11

      Were you old enough to be drinking coffee in the 1990s, James1?

      My folks are (and were) plunger people. I bought a Nespresso machine a little while back, so tend to use that at home. I find the new (to me) syphon coffee a little watery, having become used to espresso.

    • James1 says:

      06:34pm | 01/06/11

      I started using one in late 1999.  Does that still count?

      I have been thinking about a Nespresso though.  If it comes recommended, perhaps I should take the plunge.

    • mb says:

      02:23pm | 02/06/11

      I’ll second that NSW. For the true taste of coffee black is the only way to go.

    • marley says:

      01:23pm | 01/06/11

      I don’t have a clue how good or bad Macca’s coffee is (the nearest franchise is about 90 km away, and that’s a long way to drive for a quarter pounder, never mind a capuccino). 

      I do have a bit of an issue with the way Australians seem to regard the production of a decent cup of coffee as a sophisticated art.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a good cup of capuccino (and make my own, thank you very much) but I developed that love by living in Italy for a couple of years.  Italians take their coffee seriously, but they would howl with laughter at some of the pretentious nonsense surrounding coffee here.  Baristas there produce capuccinos en masse in a matter of seconds - none of this fiddly stuff with measuring milk temperatures or making fancy designs on the foam.  It’s a job, not a profession, and it’s one more closely related to working on an assembly line than in an artist’s studio.

      I don’t know how we got to taking the whole subject so seriously.  And I especially don’t know why anyone would expect good coffee from a fast food joint that can’t produce good food.

      Bah, humbug.

    • Jack says:

      02:08pm | 01/06/11

      Most of these ‘afficianados’ would spit out an italian espresso and ask for a jug of milk to water it down. There is nothing refined or sophisticated about it - and that’s how it is supposed to be.

      Also, the coffee in France, Switzerland and South Africa leaves Italy for dead.

    • jhamiltonwa says:

      03:24pm | 01/06/11

      Can’t speak from experience but all those I know who have tried it agree that Fench coffee is horrid. I was surprised at this but Ive heard it over and over again.

    • Damien says:

      04:06pm | 01/06/11

      While there is a bit of snobbery, our coffee culture is actually far more mature, where the same cafe knows everything from espresso to half-shot decaf soy cappucinos and everything in between - because everyone has their own tastes. You can also bet on being able to get a decent coffee anywhere in greater Sydney.

      Surely this makes us a more mature market?

      In Italy or France you can ask for coffee - ie an espresso shot; or cappucino - espresso shot with foam, and basically nothing else. And dont even bother asking for skim..

    • marley says:

      07:28pm | 01/06/11

      Damien - sorry, but you’re wrong.  Any Italian bar will serve you a cappuccino with skim milk - caffe magro.

    • bikinis on top says:

      01:23pm | 01/06/11

      Your comment
      Would you prefer a tea party in Australia instead of a coffee club??
      When I line up for food ,milk and / or soft drinks at kiosks and shops,I hate the huge long extreme slow lineups for coffee at kiosks and stores . It annoys me.
      Why cannot they get iced coffee at supermarkets instead of providing us consumers with boring slow service from coffee providers???

    • bikinis on top says:

      01:28pm | 01/06/11

      A Tea Party took over America.
      Maybe a Coffee Club will take over Australia from the Liberal and Labor Booze Boys Clubs.

    • AnthonyG says:

      01:31pm | 01/06/11

      NSW i dare you to try a long black at Maccas

    • LauraBoBaura says:

      02:20pm | 01/06/11

      I did. Once. At about midnight, somewhere between NSW & QLD on a really, really long roadtrip. It was, by far the most vile thing I have ever consumed in my life.

    • bikinis on top says:

      01:31pm | 01/06/11

      Your comment:
      MacDonalds has good autoteller machines. The counter jumpers are young and wow !

    • bikinis on top says:

      01:34pm | 01/06/11

      Mc Donalds is where I find and read the Daily Telegraph.
      So don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
      Mc Donalds can help with signals for your internet computer or mobile phone.

    • Jack says:

      02:10pm | 01/06/11

      So you can get fat *and* stupid at the same time? Awesome! Sign me up for the Bolt n’ Burger meal deal!

    • Budgy smugglers on bottom says:

      02:38pm | 01/06/11

      So you read the paper for free and then possibly stain the pages with the junkfood you stuff your face with? Geez, wouldn’t want to jeopardise
      that.

    • Traveller says:

      03:04pm | 01/06/11

      @Jack

      I have never and will never type “lol” (except in closed commas preceded by a statement to the effect that I’m never going to do it) - but that actually did make me laugh.. out loud..

      As for coffee, I dont drink it myself. I prefer my caffeine in its natural state - inside a 500ml can full of fizzy sugar, taurine and guarana - but I must admit when I was in Morocco I had the *best* coffee, and would have multiple cups of it with breakfast and lunch.
      Other awesome Moroccan stuff:
      Orange juice. The sweetest, orangiest, cleanest tasting OJ ever.
      Olives and olive oil.
      And a ‘sauce piquante’ that has to be the most amazingly delicious chilli sauce I’ve ever had. Not the hottest, but the tastiest.. and even tho it was product of Tunisia, I bought it in Morocco.

    • Bolz says:

      01:38pm | 01/06/11

      Being that I work with coffee, I can safely say that a McCrappucino doesn’t cut the mustard! 

      I’m not a coffee snob and get quite annoyed when people reckon it has to Vittoria, Lavazza or Illy coffee to be any good.  Some of their coffees are ok but I think marketing and brand awareness plays a big part in peoples choices. People want to sound like they’re in the know with these things.

      There’s lots of great coffees out there and you don’t have to spend $40 or $50 a kilo to get something decent. I couldn’t imagine spending $500+ a kilo for Civet coffee! It just isn’t that great! I’m sure there’s plenty dummies with more money than sense out who would though. Crappuccino anyone?

    • SalC says:

      01:45pm | 01/06/11

      Travelling in Canada I was hard pressed to find my usual fancy coffee, so I got over myself and drank Tim Hortons like every other canuck.  It’s $1.10 a cup, drive thru, and if you want caffeine, then you’ll drink it!  They love the stuff.

    • Geoff Russell says:

      01:53pm | 01/06/11

      McDonalds knows the value of both the long-con and the long black.

    • James1 says:

      01:59pm | 01/06/11

      If Micky Ds did those things, how would bogan teenagers impress passers-by with their ability to smoke and swear loudly?

      Won’t somebody please think of the (bogan) children?

    • AdamC says:

      02:22pm | 01/06/11

      I never knew you were anti-bogan, James1.

      Incidentally, I found it quite off-putting that Americans refer to Maccas as Mickey D’s. I don’t know why, but it just seemed really odd to me.

    • marley says:

      02:37pm | 01/06/11

      Not as odd as “Maccas” seems to me….

    • Anne_N says:

      02:39pm | 01/06/11

      Wasn’t Maccas originally intended for children?  Where else can you take rowdy grandchildren and let them run wild without getting tut-tutted?

      If they start serving ‘baby cinnos’ I’ll stop going…:-)

    • James1 says:

      02:45pm | 01/06/11

      I don’t mind classic bogans Adam - the old school Ford/Holden loving, Australian beer swilling, wife-beater wearing bogan.  Its the new age ones that scare me.  Actually, scare is not quite the right word - irritate is more accurate.  There is just something about their penchant for bright colours, conspicious consumption, crass (and loud) behaviour, and willful ignorance that bothers me deeply.  They annoy me almost as much as the coffee-swillers indirectly refered to in the article, with their smug sense of self satisfaction and Priuses.  Interestingly, both groups are equally bad at naming their children.  As I have always said, there is a very, very fine line between new age bogan and wanker.  Perhaps I’m just anti-wanker?

      The Micky Ds thing is massive amongst my US military friends - especially the Navy ones.  I also don’t know why, but its constant use among them has led to it creeping into my own lexicon.

    • Lee Enfield says:

      02:02pm | 01/06/11

      Here is an opportunity for McDonalds to help our northern neighbours. East Timor grows great coffee beans all they need is for a company just like McDonalds to jump on their band wagon and give the coffee bean growers of East Timor a double shot of espresso. The benefits to East Timor would be massive and go along way to helping improve their economy and the future of the many poor and hungry people. This could be a chance for McDonalds to help East Timor establish a lucrative export industry. Come on McDonalds you know your’re lovin it.

      On a side note, now that the govt has taxed alcohol and tobbacco to the limits of what people will put up with. I wonder when they will see the cash cow of coffee, implement a study which concludes coffee is bad, and tax it accordingly to save us.

    • michael j says:

      02:04pm | 01/06/11

      @ Shit in me coffee,, no thanks,id rather drink a mug-full of Joe Hockey’s vomit
      before that,,there are still some sicko’s around that’s 4 sure,,
      Interesting take on the ZEN garden,, sounds like the place you went to for voluntary sue-side in the movie Soylent Green,,,,
      I reckon Mac’s will be the front runner when it comes time to recycle into the Human Hamburger,,,,Shouldn’t be that far off now ,,wonder if they got a patent on the recipe yet,,

    • Arnold Layne says:

      02:14pm | 01/06/11

      Coffee - yet another method pretentious wankers use to pretend they’re better than everyone else.  New clothes Emperor?

      Great piece Tory.

    • Shane* says:

      03:15pm | 01/06/11

      Spot on.

      It used to be wine attracting the 15% wanker class, but then the rest of the population learnt to tell their sauv blanc from their cab sav and so 14% left wine (leaving behind the 1% of genuine wine connoisseurs) and moved on to coffee. Now we’re in an age where 75% of the population “know” wine well enough to sustain conversation at parties. That isn’t nearly exclusive enough for some, so we have 15% of the population who “know” coffee, but the other 85% are cottoning on quick!

      What’s next? I predict bread. Soon enough we’ll have articles comparing the way loaves are rested in Melbourne with the way their matured in Sydney, and precisely which bakery has imported the grain from Vladevostok to create an aromatic blend of wank.

    • Super D says:

      02:15pm | 01/06/11

      I remember when Moccona was considered fancy.  I’m still more than happy to drink it.

    • TheBigMicka says:

      02:58pm | 01/06/11

      Best thing about a large jar of Moccona - when it’s finished it becomes a large jar of flour, sugar, rice, dessicated coconut etc.  Just a little bit fancy in the pantry.

    • Erick says:

      02:29pm | 01/06/11

      It makes sense. After all, 93.2% of McDonalds staff are Arts graduates - so why not put all that learning to good use?

    • Tory Shepherd

      Tory Shepherd says:

      03:27pm | 01/06/11

      As an Arts student who worked at McDonalds I take exception to your… oh, wait. Good point.

    • Kika says:

      02:36pm | 01/06/11

      The only way to really enjoy coffee is black. If it’s cr&p - drink it black to actually taste it. If it’s good - drink it black to enjoy it.

      I am a tea snob though. Coffee schmoffy. I drink it instant just to get me up in the morning. After that it’s free trade Ceylon single origin blend green jasmine tea. No, not Dilmah. The tea must be foil wrapped and enclosed in an aluminium tin to preserve freshness. AH… tea. The smart choice!

    • Jason Todd says:

      03:32pm | 01/06/11

      Kika, Tea snobs can be every bit as bad as coffee snobs and then some.

    • Bev says:

      06:19pm | 01/06/11

      Agree have drunk black tea and coffee (no sugar) all my life. Why corrupt the taste

    • ronny says:

      02:45pm | 01/06/11

      Hey coffee people! Please, please go to a cafe. You are slowing down my burger service. You and the salad people, drive me nuts. It’s Maccas!!!

    • Mathias says:

      03:40pm | 01/06/11

      FUCK YEAH!

      I concur

    • Mayday says:

      03:10pm | 01/06/11

      International Roast is a good instant coffee, better than Nescafe ugh!

    • Jason Todd says:

      03:34pm | 01/06/11

      Mayday, that is like saying a punch to the left cheek is better than a punch to the right cheek. At the end of the day, you’re still getting punched.

    • damien says:

      04:40pm | 01/06/11

      lol jason, ne’er a truer word..

    • Lorraine says:

      12:13pm | 02/06/11

      I’m with you Mayday, we only drink International Roast at home, won’t have coffee at other peoples homes unless they have it!!!

    • Jason Todd says:

      03:21pm | 01/06/11

      There are a few things that I learned while I was working as a barista. People (Adelaidians in this instance) are very precious about their coffee. Everyone assumes that the way that they personally drink it is the correct way of drinking it, and will recoil in horror if you dare to offer them anything else. I once had a customer screaming at me for serving them a mug of flat white (a shot of espresso topped with steamed milk), instead of their version of a flat white, (a shot of espresso, topped with hot water and a dash of cold milk). Don’t even get me started on the number of times people tried to redefine a macchiato for me. Everyone has their own definition of that one.

      Being a coffee snob is okay. I am one myself. Which is why if I want a fantastic coffee, I will go to a place that I know makes fantastic coffee. If I get a coffee from McDonalds, I am expecting a reasonable coffee analogue. If I don’t get the highest quality product, I am not going to spit it in the attendants face and demand a perfect coffee. That is the risk you take when you buy coffee from McDonalds.

    • Norm says:

      06:29pm | 01/06/11

      True That but unfortunately they are charging the same price as as good coffee! Not On!

    • Damian says:

      04:25pm | 01/06/11

      I tried Maccas coffee once, it was almost as good as dishwater.

    • Dash says:

      04:41pm | 01/06/11

      Being the windswept and interesting man of the world jetsetter that I am, I have found the coffee and the coffee culture in Australia to be world class.

      The last time I was in New York - bloody terrible stuff, the Yanks have zero idea. Asked for a flat white and the bloke nearly shat himself. Then he asked me which part of England I was from !!!!! Fool.

      The last time I was in London - unbeleivably poor stuff old chap. I think it’s the limescale in the water thats already been through six kidneys.

      The last time I was in Cologne and Munich, drink their beer. Beers great, coffee’s crap. They have these over-engineered little do-it-yourself coffee machines that are just horrible.

      btw, last time I flew into Thailand, I was in business class and saw Jeff Fenech who had first class all to himself. Hey nice watch Jeff! LOL

      Hooray for Aussie coffee!

    • Dash says:

      04:48pm | 01/06/11

      I remember a woman sued Maccas in the US because she spilt boiling coffee in her lap and ended up with third degree burns all over her rudie bits. It’s a shame, business can’t sue customers for being complete numptys! I mean, ya stick a hot coffee between your legs and you deserve to get a scolded vagina I say!

      I wonder if that worked better for her than the money she’d spent at Nads?

    • semi concerned citizen says:

      06:12pm | 01/06/11

      haha bad kitty, perhaps scalded

    • Dash says:

      08:45am | 02/06/11

      Ha ha, thanks for pointing that out. One simple letter can mean so much! You know what I meant!

    • stephen says:

      05:37pm | 01/06/11

      I’ll have a big wank, lies and a poke with that, please, but Maccas were all-right before and now the kids there will want not toys but daffodils taped to a Karma Sutra and the jokes will be on us.
      And those who demanded such action please stand up and march to your local cliff.

    • Norm says:

      06:17pm | 01/06/11

      I live in Mudgee and it’s a “Cafe Town” but try and get a decent Chino after 4 on a sunday and any evening for that matter,Yep Maccas coffee is hit and miss but so can some other places be as well unfortunately,Maccas if theres no where else and i really want a coffee,ive got a couple of places here that I know are going to be ok,never Maccas if they are open.

    • Norm says:

      06:40pm | 01/06/11

      Oh you can Eptos a coffee at Maccas,alot of little coffee shops are a bit funny about that…

    • troy d says:

      06:45pm | 01/06/11

      well…now that i have just enlightened myself with what everyone has posted, allow me to retort…coffee, never have i tasted such a vile over-rated beverage than this.and listen to yourselves… all of you go on about flat whites and cup-o-chino’s it is beyond being sane, “ive tried coffee whilst sitting upon a yak on top of a mountain in peru, while sherpas roasted the beans over fresh yak dung,and you just cant get that taste anywhere else”.
      it is the most deplorable thing i could think of to drink given the wide choice of beverages in this modern age.it has zero health benifits and within a couple of years someone will discover its real toxic nature, resulting in a mass exodus away from the stemaing cup of overpriced crud you all fancy so much.
      thank you for the chance to comment smile

    • Jason Todd says:

      09:10am | 02/06/11

      You are of course Troy, entitled to your opinion. If you like it, drink it. If you don’t. Don’t. If you like a particular brand, cafe or style, drink that.

      However, I do have to point out that your assertion that it has “Zero health benefits” is demonstrably false. It provides a short term improvement in cognitive performance, and has been linked to reduced risks of Parkinsons, Alzheimers, Diabetes and heart disease. Google around if you are interested.

    • Ben81 says:

      07:42pm | 01/06/11

      Instant for me, or if I want to be extra fancy I use the machine at work you put $2 in that goes “whirrrrr, bzzzzz, click, bzzzzzzzzz whirrrrr, pssshhhh, beep!” and makes a nice one that gets my motor running and makes me want to run up the walls.

    • Govt@FauxCitizen says:

      10:40pm | 01/06/11

      I wonder if I could teach my pooches how to eat raw coffee beans, and flog it for a small fortune to some stuck up fuckwits, there’s gotta be some dog lovers out there in snobworld for sure.

    • Retired Soldier says:

      08:03am | 02/06/11

      I might be lucky to have a McCafe in my area that actually makes a good coffee in its many forms. The women who work in the coffee area are all mature and apparently know what to do. They are also able to hold an intelligent conversation with their regular customers. The only downside to having a nice coffee at my local McDonalds is the constant interruption by undisciplined and out of control brats who belong to the lazy overweight mothers who spend half their waking life in such places. Ban the kids from the McCafe area and force them and their lazy irresponsible mothers out the back where they belong.

    • Fishy Anardo says:

      11:45am | 02/06/11

      Wouldn’t make a difference, there’s so much shit coffee around these days, the best of which is Black & Gold instant, with a pinch of salt mind.

    • Fleeced says:

      02:14pm | 02/06/11

      LOL… most coffee snobs are full of crap.  McCafe coffee isn’t too bad. A decent barrista can certainly make a difference, but unless they really don’t know what they’rte doing, the flavour of the beans has a bigger impact… and the flavour of the beans at Macca’s aren’t as bitter as at some places.  In the end though, it’s all just slight variations of the basic coffee flavour - the snobs who complain, “Ooh - that tastes nothing like coffee” are being too precious.

    • Brendo says:

      03:47pm | 02/06/11

      I’ve given their coffee a go a few times during weekend classes in the CBD when nothing else is open. I’d like to think that I was giving their product a fair go. I found the service terribly slow and the coffee was far too milky and lacked enough coffee flavour. Added to that, the premises was dirty and grubby and smelt of greasy junk food (who would have thought).

      Melbourne has already sent Starbucks packing. Only tourists buy coffee from places like Gloria Jeans and that Coffee-Bean Tea-Leaf place and if you’re a tightass you can now buy crap barista coffee from 7-11.

      Why on earth does McDonalds think they can be a big player in retail coffee?

      Is not coffee snobbery - its actually about having a clue and having taste. If you try and sell crap coffee in Melbourne - you’ll need to have a good product otherwise competition will see you fail. Is this natural selection, evolution or market forces at play? Probably a combo. I don’t know how it works - it just does! wink)

    • Brendan says:

      11:48pm | 02/06/11

      We should start a class action for the money we wasted thinking Maccas would improve their coffee…

 

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