Workplace etiquette for bores and pyschopaths
Ah, the modern workplace is a strange beast.
You share cups and fossick for spoons, sit closer than you’d choose to most people and spend the majority of your waking life sharing an ill air-conditioned space with others who do not share your hygiene standards.
For around 40 hours a week we hunch at our desks, beavering away at any number of shared business goals and ticking off KPIs.
And at the end of the week, when you’re exhausted and should head home to see your family and friends, you find yourself sitting around the table of one of the worst pubs in town, quaffing a beer and sharing your life journey.
Well don’t. Just stop it. Keep work at work and home at home and don’t share the intricacies of your life with colleagues. At least that’s the advice of a series of experts in a report about what you should share with the people at work.
Have you ever heard anything more boring and soul destroying that that? We’re talking about restricting the flow of conversation and substance of life with the people with whom we are forced to spend the most time in the entire world.
Apparently there are some serious etiquette rules about the things you should not share; the details of your sex life, gossip and major life events, like marriage, divorce, pregnancy, the death of a close friend.
Why? Well because people will get an “ill idea of you”, according to quoted etiquette expert Anna Musson. They also have long memories and will remember what you tell them long after you share the juicy details.
But what’s left? The weather ...
The only people that can stick to these rules are psychopaths, bores and the socially challenged. And who the hell wants to work with people like that?
Follow Lucy on Twitter: @lucyjk
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