Why beautiful people should stick to what they’re good at
It’s no longer enough that the Beautiful People taunt us Mere Mortals with their poreless, flawless skin, their lack of bingo wings, their perfectly proportioned torsos – now they feel they have to teach us stuff as well.
This desire to prove they are more than just underfed clothes hangers began with the beauty competitions where for some bizarre reason uttering inanities about world peace or why the children are our future became part of the judging process. The trend spread with the ease of a $100/ml skin boosting serum and now every model-slash-actor feels duty bound to impart morsels of wisdom to the sad, lumpy, blemish-afflicted masses.
It would be slightly more acceptable if they stuck to honest accounts of the torture they have to inflict on themselves to keep their superhuman beauty (The Day I Accidentally Took Too Many Laxatives Just Before A Long Swimsuit Shoot). But that’s not enough for them. No, now they share all sorts of advice; from parenting to lifestyle to health.
So Gwyneth Paltrow can sell people $425 colon cleansing kits, and Pamela Anderson can let us in on the secrets of intuitive parenting and the “healing vortex” and endless other celebrity bloggers can intersperse pictures of themselves with faux-profound Deepak Chopra quotes.
The latest ‘slashie’ to unleash the full vacuousness of her mind on the world is Liana Werner-Gray – the Aussie model/actress and creator of ‘The Earth Diet’ – who used a privileged position on supergoodlooking Miranda Kerr’s blog to promote not just one but a stack of cures for cancer.
She cured her own cancer with little more than a treechange and Epsom Salts, she reckons.
The first clue that she is not overly endowed with a capacity for critical thought and really should have stuck to her role as Miss Earth Australia is the preponderance of exclamation marks. She writes:
Cancer is a disease and is absolutely and completely curable – at any stage!That is quite a big call I know! And this blog article will show you how the cure to cancer exists right here right now, and it really doesn’t matter how ‘bad’ your cancer is, even if it is just hours away from ‘physical death’ – IT IS CURABLE!
If the essay was handwritten, you can be sure the ‘i’s would be dotted with little lovehearts, and it’s surprising there aren’t more smiley faces thoughout this slurry of an essay.
Predictably she starts with Chopra and his ‘metaphorical’ quantum humbuggery about spiritual healing. She touches on near-death experiences, ‘spiritual surgery’, and there’s even a reference to a “cancer whisperer”, as well as a nod to Dr Leonard Coldwell, who claims every cancer can be cured within 16 weeks. The blog ends with a quick spit on Einstein’s grave.
Naturally Ms Werner-Gray is telling us about these cures out of the goodness of her organic heart, and not because she is spruiking a ‘Celebrity Health Events and Awards Show’ called Alive New York 2012.
She is Alive’s co-founder, will speak at the event along with several of the ‘experts’ she blogged about, and has a link to donate on her homepage.
Beware the celebrity with a product to endorse.
If only you could dismiss the fraud-filled frippery of celebrities – but these days people are more likely to listen to Justin Bieber, a Kardashian or some other goop than they are to seek out a more well-evidenced view.
You can’t blame people for preferring a positive message of moonbeams and magic and a world where cancer can be cured by sunlight over the grim reality.
That’s why the Beautiful People have a moral responsibility to stick to what they know.
Maybe some can venture into fashion or hair styling advice. Feel free to share shopping tips and baby pics.
But shut the hell up about cancer and any cures you think you might have discovered because the consequences for people who believe you could be worse than ugly.
Taunt me on Twitter: @ToryShepherd
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