Dear Mum,
This illness has gone on long enough. I can’t bear to see you suffer any more. I know you are going to say in your usual way, ‘don’t worry about me, I’ll be ok’, but it is becoming hard to see what the point of it all is anymore.

I am worried about you, really worried. You shouldn’t have to live through this. This cancer isn’t who you really are.
I really don’t think I can bring the kids again. The thought of them seeing you like this – with no hair, helpless to look after yourself, those blotches on your skin, your face screwed up in pain – is killing me.
They ought to have the memories of the wrinkles your face made when you smiled and not the wrinkles it makes when you wince. It’s hard enough for me, remembering the mum you’ve always been, so full of life and love, so strong.
It feels like everything you and dad spent a lifetime building is ebbing away.
We’re doing fine. Work is busy as always. I can’t say these latest interest rate rises are making things easier, and Margie’s work has cut back on her hours.
Those grandkids of yours keep growing faster and faster! We have to think about their schooling. You know us, we’ve never had extravagant tastes and we’ve never lived beyond our means. But the bottom line is closer than ever.
Do you think I could have the grandfather clock? I know exactly where we’ll put in our new house. That clock and me go a long way back – I used to have to stand next to it when I was in trouble as a kid!
I understand from Nicole that Andrew’s been in harassing you about the will again. I just want you to be careful, that’s all. The morphine doesn’t help you think straight.
We agreed from the beginning it would all be split three ways. I know Andrew’s got debts, but they are his responsibility. You were always soft on him.
As I said, mum, you shouldn’t have to suffer like this. I think I said this on my last visit: if you think you have had enough, then don’t be afraid to say so. Just let us know.
These new laws make it very easy. We can easily get the paperwork together. I know you only want what is best for everyone else – you always did.
Love you mum.
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