For all the talk about doping that has dominated the news since Lance Armstrong finally admitted to using performance enhancing drugs during his cycling career, there is a curious silence about another kind of dope.
Even before his spectacular fall from grace there was something nonsensical about the international fawning and obscene sums of money corporations were so eager to throw in his direction.
No-one was forced to spend millions in endorsements on a man who was, all hyperbole aside, famous for merely riding a bike very, very fast.
Admittedly certain chapters in Armstrong’s life story helped lift the asking price of his marketability, most notably his recovery from testicular cancer and subsequent seven Tour de France titles.
Yet even sporting champions who do not posses a similarly remarkable tale of inspiration are regularly feted by an adoring media, and showered with excessively generous sponsorship deals of their own.
Amid the braying and hand-wringing by wronged parties who now claim to feel betrayed there has been precious little acknowledgment that lavishing any one person with millions of dollars to star in pretentious commercials was always ridiculous.
And yet in a culture in which successful athletes are commonly referred to as “heroes”, shelling out the equivalent of the GDP of a developing nation to hire a sports star to spruik everything from soft drink to skincare has become common practice.
So few companies flinched at the prospect of hiring a pre-scandal Armstrong to sell their wares for an astronomical fee.
In recent days sports commentators have lined up – quite rightfully – to portray Armstrong as an arrogant character who mercilessly belittled anyone who dared to question the mythology surrounding him.
But what remains unsaid is that these are the very qualities invariably celebrated in those who choose to devote their life to excelling in any kind of physical endeavor.
A robust ego, ruthlessly competitive streak and unwavering self-belief are all traits our sports obsessed culture cherishes in its athletes – right up until the moment they topple off their pedestal.
“Everybody wants to know what I am on,” Armstrong gravely intoned in a television commercial for Nike in 2001 in which he took aim at critics brazen enough to speculate about his reliance on performance-enhancing drugs.
“What am I on?” he retorted as the camera faithfully captured him subjecting his body to the exhaustive demands of training. “I’m on my bike, busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on?”
It was a moment that perfectly encapsulated the cult of the elite athlete: an earnest homage to the apparent sacrifices made by a “hero” who condescendingly dismisses the naysayers with characteristic swagger.
With his confessional with everyone’s favourite shoulder-to-cry-on, Oprah Winfrey, in the can, sources close to Armstrong have suggested his PR offensive might next see him return sponsorship money paid to him by the United States Postal Service.
According to court documents uncovered two years ago, the USPS parted ways with $31.9 million to underwrite Armstrong’s team during its heyday – a revelation that coincided with the unfortunate news they expected to lose $7 billion that same year.
Yet they are not the only organisation now having second thoughts about the wisdom of that particular investment. Numerous companies, including Nike and brewery Anheuser-Busch, have since cut Armstrong loose.
And while no-one involved has been forthcoming about the exact figures involved, Nike’s most recent annual report revealed it has committed $3.2 billion on endorsement deals over the next five years.
Even in an Armstrong-free landscape, that’s an awful lot of cashed up athletes posing as door-to-door salesmen courtesy of our billboards and TV screens.
And what have any of them really learned from Armstrong’s downfall? That it’s ok to be greedy and cocky so long as you don’t get caught?
Even before his reputation was destroyed by the doping scandal, his success was built on the same foundation as any elite athlete: complete and utter self-obsession.
From Olympians to highly decorated cyclists, professional sport has come to demand nothing less than a one-eyed fixation on success.
Athletes are shielded from the tiresome demands of everyday life; their every whim catered for by a member of the small army assembled to assist them achieve their goals.
While it’s an efficient production line responsible for plenty of well-documented victories within the sporting arena, it also cultivates an industry filled with the self-entitled and self-absorbed.
After years of steadfast denials, Armstrong has at last been revealed to be a liar and a cheat.
But it is those who continue to insist on worshipping sport stars in a godlike fashion, and shower them with multi-million dollar contracts, who are the real dopes.
Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEDT.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Hmm, Freudian analyses of the Hangover. Let's call this one When Journalists Take Their Job Too Seriously @smhhttp://t.co/bjy1DIuT8N
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented