Every time a primary school bans cartwheels or a sporting body declares there’s no winners and no losers or report cards switch from A-F to a range between “Genius” and “almost genius” we all throw our hands up in the air and yell “back in my day!”

No fun to be had here… Illustration: Tiedemann

The whole community immediately embarks on a “nanny state” binge, about how we spent our childhoods swinging from rusty monkey-bars, not wearing seat belts, playing British Bulldog and drinking red cordial and “I turned out fine”.

The flutter of petitions and pinging of radio station switchboards is so deafening we never get to hear the parent who says: “well, actually, I don’t want my child swooshing down a slippery dip that’s not cushioned by six-inches of recycled organic plantation rubber.”

Or the one who had a quiet word to the principal about their concerns their child might do a handstand without the supervision of a qualified gymnastic instructor - preferably one whose most recent posting was in Eastern Europe.

Where are these parents? Do they even exist? For such a quiet bunch they seem to wield a huge amount of cultural clout. School principals and local councils “live in fear” of being sued by them.

Education Department chiefs quake in their boots at the idea of hurting their precious offspring’s feelings with anything resembling “constructive feedback.”

Public liability insurance providers are getting fat off the massive premiums they charge for insuring against them.

And the rest of us love nothing more than to rhetorically bash them for ruining all the fun.

But who are they?

The reaction to nanny state stories, such as the biggie this week about the ridiculous situation at Drummoyne Public School in Sydney, is almost guaranteed to be both unanimous and to contain the phrase “what is the world coming to?”

If we all agree on this topic, which it appears we do, who is driving these decisions?

Come on cotton wool-wrapping, helicopter-hovering, fun-killing, joy-sucking parents - I want to hear from you.

Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEST.

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70 comments

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    • Steve says:

      01:46pm | 29/08/12

      Who is driving these decisions?

      NGO entrepreneurs, especially in health and safety, and preventative health, - armed with the latest ‘peer-reviewed’ study out of some obscure university, that twists relative risk with absolute risks - oldest trick in the academic PR handbook.

    • Samuel says:

      03:25pm | 29/08/12

      This is more or less right. It’s not parents who demand these things at all. It’s government regulatory bodies and educational bureaucrats afraid of litigation.

    • James says:

      04:06pm | 29/08/12

      Volenti non fit injuria, or the voluntary assumption of risk. It is a complete defence against negligence, i.e. parents should know kids, run, jump etc. and because of it voluntary assume the risk that they might get hurt ... after they are kids and that’s what they do. Also in terms of duty of care, all the kids should not be seen as the teacher’s neighbour as they can’t reasonably be expected to be able to supervise every kid in the yard.

    • Don Paul says:

      04:06pm | 29/08/12

      Steve has nailed it.

      We have an enormous amount of ‘professions’ soley reliant on fear to justify their existence. Most of them are paid for the tax payer too.

      Unfortunately it doesn’t end at childhood either.

    • HeatherG says:

      06:54pm | 29/08/12

      Exactly.

      Also, parenting “experts” with up-the-wazoo degrees and little to no practical experience with actual real-life parenting.

    • David Farrell says:

      01:48pm | 29/08/12

      I considered suing my school for Nannying , but after spending a night in my Grade 12 teacher’s bedroom while she was in a nurse’s uniform, I just obeyed her and did my homework.

    • Carol says:

      07:13pm | 29/08/12

      David,
      I have to ask, did she give you an “A” for effort?

    • Gladys says:

      01:49pm | 29/08/12

      My neighbour. They had a premmie baby and he’s an insurance broker. Worst parent I’ve ever met because he’s intent on stopping all ‘little kiddies’ from hurting or killing themselves.

      I’m a bit reactionary to him and took off all the child safety gates and put a chair on the verandah. That way when his child comes over he can focus on her and I can have a nice conversation with his wife.

    • Bitten says:

      02:05pm | 29/08/12

      I was going to try and find this case. Tory, talk to this idiot father.

    • Tory Maguire

      Tory Maguire says:

      02:11pm | 29/08/12

      Surely they didn’t win.

    • Elphaba says:

      02:15pm | 29/08/12

      My brother jumped off the jungle gym at school.  He just jumped off, right from the top, into the sandpit.  He should have been wearing a Superman cape.

      He had to go to hospital because he completely stuffed his arm. Treatment involved surgeons having to break his arm and pin it back together, in order for it to heal correctly.

      This was 20 years ago.  Even then, some people asked Mum was she going to sue the school.  Her reaction was shock.  “Why would I do that?”  she said.  “He’s a little boy.  Little boys jump off/fall out of things.  They’ll get hurt.  We have health insurance, was would suing prove?”

      These days, it’s par for the course.  It drives me crazy.  There are real, legitimate cases of negligence, or medical malpractice, that need to resources of the courts and solicitors, and instead, they’re being taken up because Johnny fell off the swing.

      Kids get hurt.  It’s part of being a kid.  They don’t assess risk the way adults do.  But this culture of ‘just sue them’ leaves us with a generation hooked on video games, because Mum and Dad won’t let them ride a bike or climb a tree.  Or turn a cartwheel.

      And that was the best thing about childhood.

    • Stephen says:

      02:49pm | 29/08/12

      Funny when I was a kid I jumped off a Jungle gym landed face first into a metal bar 2 metres away, split my lip open 8 stitches later.  Great thing was I WAS wearing a super man cape heh.  No need to sue the school I learn all about gravity that day and am better for it wink

      I hate nanny states, let kids be kids.  Part of the reason things cost so much is the useless mandatory insurances everyone has to pay.

    • Elli says:

      03:11pm | 29/08/12

      A few years ago my daughter fell through a fixed glass window at vacation care - she’d been racing on office chairs with a friend. Cut both of her arms very badly, narrowly avoided severing a vein, still has vivid scars. A week later the manager of the child care centre asked if I’d engaged a solicitor yet so they could pass details on to their solicitor. I thought he was kidding! My child learnt valuable lessons that day, including that glass breaks and getting stitches hurts. Plus, the centre obviously learnt from the experience as they replaced all their windows with the shattering kind that don’t cut. I can’t expect more than that.

    • Steve says:

      05:15pm | 29/08/12

      Sue one person or group, deter 10,000

    • iansand says:

      01:57pm | 29/08/12

      I suspect a death spiral between insurers and their lawyers and actuaries.  Someone invents an exotic way to get injured.  An insurer will then ask their lawyers and actuaries whether activity X will increase their exposure to a potential payout in the future.  The answer to that question will always be yes - getting out of bed in the morning increases exposure.  An insurer will then say to its insured you have two options - restrict activity X or face a higher premium.  Any organisation on any sort of budget will select restriction rather than paying more.  There is no true competition as insurers are in lockstep on things like this.  Increasing premiums or restricting activities is their reflexive response.

      The question should look at degree - to what extent will activity X expose us to a higher payout.  At least then an insurer might make a realisic assessment.

    • Al says:

      02:04pm | 29/08/12

      Good idea, how about naming and shaming them.

      Then we can get Ronnie Johns to tell them to HTFU

    • Tim says:

      02:14pm | 29/08/12

      It only takes one.

      Parents of a boy in my class sued the school because their son broke the rules, ignored a teacher’s repeated warnings and then broke a few bones in a fall.
      They won damages from the school.

      It’s not a surprise that school’s become anxious in this type of environment.

    • AdamC says:

      02:29pm | 29/08/12

      Litigation is part of the problem, but I do not think it is the sole one. For example, I looked into fitting out a retail site recently, and was blown away by the pedantic, highly specific design requirements that are imposed by state and local governments.

    • Bec says:

      02:40pm | 29/08/12

      Things like this only further my belief that couples should require a license to reproduce.

    • Matt says:

      03:28pm | 29/08/12

      Bec I agree - a breeding licence should be mandatory.

      Not sure how it would be enforced though. wink

    • Kate Buchanan says:

      03:49pm | 29/08/12

      Amen to Bec!
      You have to pass tests for some pretty important things in life- driving a car and your career path and just some of them.
      I think the most important thing in life, above all, is reproducing. I know it would be pretty controversial, and hard to test, but being a parent is by far the most significant thing any of us will do with our lives. I do not have kids, I am 21 and it frustrates me to see all these teen parents who do not have the emotional or financial capabilities to care for a child, let alone themselves…..
      I would love to see mandatory testing of potential parents to see if they are well enough prepared to parent.

    • AAAdam says:

      07:46pm | 29/08/12

      Good idea Bec. Perhaps since licences would be so hard to enforce, we could simply link them to tax benefits. Have a kid without a licence? No welfare benefits for you or them.

    • L. says:

      02:23pm | 29/08/12

      “Public liability insurance providers are getting fat off the massive premiums they charge for insuring against them.”

      Really..??

      I didn’t think you could sue a school for injuring to your child? At least that’s my understanding for Qld.

    • Alexandra says:

      03:15pm | 29/08/12

      In year 5 my son fractured his ankle at a NSW Mid North Coast public primary school after stepping off the edge of the playground the wrong way during a Friday lunchtime. My child’s only mistake was in not telling the teacher on playground duty. He made his way to the unattended school office and sat there until then hobbled off to Friday afternoon sports when the bell went, told the male teacher supervising sports that he’d hurt his ankle, but was patted on the head and told to “do your best” and then did three long jumps (!!!). His ankle was swollen by the time he got home so we applied first aid and assumed a sprain. That weekend he couldn’t walk. An x-ray (that we paid for at the radiologist) showed a fracture through the growth plate on the front part of his tibia and we took him to the local hospital’s fracture clinic on the Monday. We got an apology from the teacher once I’d complained to the principal that my child wasn’t trying to “bung it on”.  We didn’t bother taking it further legally because we felt that these things happen, it wasn’t going to change anything and we didn’t want our son to be the victim of any further bullying in a small school community. Maybe if we had threatened legal action, there wouldn’t have been the additional stupidity from the supply teacher supervising the NAPLAN exams telling him to take his crutches and go to his normal classroom (up 2 flights of stairs) and more care might have been given him when he fell out of the bus while alighting from it during a school excursion. The collective lack of any ‘duty of care’ is the main thing I learnt from this - and maybe if I had taken legal action the school’s teachers might have picked up their act.

    • Gerry Stewart says:

      02:25pm | 29/08/12

      All these over the top safety rules and regs are just allowing stupid people to live long and propagate. Let them burn out in Darwinistic splendor I say. The gene pool has enough crap in the shallow end as it is.

    • L. says:

      02:47pm | 29/08/12

      “Let them burn out in Darwinistic splendor I say.”

      Eeven if their Darwinistic stupidity takes out one of your family memebers in the process?

    • kat says:

      05:01pm | 29/08/12

      @ L
      If my brother is dumb enough to think making toast with an electric toaster while in a bath full of water is a good idea, then when he electrocutes himself, I would say he was being stupid… not that is was the fault of the company who made the toaster…

      True negligence is one thing… if you are dumb enough to kill yourself through your own stupidity that is another thing entirely. Survival of the fittest at its finest raspberry

    • Bec says:

      02:28pm | 29/08/12

      These people are easy to spot - they demand some kind of knee-jerk reaction whenever someone gets hurt. They blame the government for most of life’s unfortunate events. Everybody knows at least one of these people, and if you don’t, it’s probably you.

    • Bec says:

      02:30pm | 29/08/12

      They are currently standing by the gate gossiping and making teachers and principals feel anxious about what they will complain about next. And watch out if their kids are in trouble it will be someone else’s fault!

    • hermes says:

      02:33pm | 29/08/12

      It’s that stupid no win no pay law they brought in, so fatcat ambulance chasing lawyers can buy a new Mercedes every year, and the bogans can make some money suing people for their own, and their spawning’s, stupidity.

    • Chris says:

      03:01pm | 29/08/12

      And you have no idea how no win no fee works, lovely.

    • Esteban says:

      03:07pm | 29/08/12

      Hermes. Conveyancing used to be the bread and butter of lawyers but they took that away and gave it to settlement agents. (Queensland might still use lawyers)

      Yet despite this drop in workload the number of lawyers coming out of tertiary institutions has gone up.

      You can only spread boring commercial work so much. There isn’t enough work for lawyers.

      Excess lawyers/no win no pay. Join those dots and it looks like litigation.

      If the choice is litigation or poverty for lawyers litigation wins.

    • Austin 3:16 says:

      02:43pm | 29/08/12

      On the bright side, according to the ABS child mortality has halved over the last 20+ years or so.

      Which could be due to a number of factors, but the nannys and helicopters might be part of that.

    • no really? says:

      03:15pm | 29/08/12

      I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with improved treatments for cancer and increased vacination rates - that would be nothing compared to the reduction in cartwheel related deaths.

    • Zoe says:

      05:27pm | 29/08/12

      You could probably chalk most of this up to a) improved neonatal survival b) reduced SIDS (lying sleeping babies face up not face down c) seatbelts and safer cars and d) maybe swimming pool safety?  Agreed cartwheel fatalities probably haven’t changed much.  Immunization had most impact more than 20 years ago but things would change if we stopped.

    • Haydz says:

      02:52pm | 29/08/12

      Im all for my kids doing silly things and hurting themselves. If I see it about to happen, sometimes I intervene and tell them to stop, but if its something that I had already told them not to do because you’ll hurt yourself, and they do it and hurt themselves then lesson learnt as far as Im concerned. kids need cuts, bruises, scrapes etc (and without being sexist, especially boys). It instills self preservation to the core. Dont get me wrong, I hate seeing my kids hurt themselves, but sometimes its good for them.

    • Carramaena says:

      03:02pm | 29/08/12

      What gets me is that the parents who claim that their children are so hurt by what happened, would have happily brushed the incident off and gotten on with their life unaffected. Now however, in most of these “incidental” type cases they turn a small accident into a major trauma for a child and they become traumatised for life. 

      While the parents think they are playing the part of the hero for their child at the time, they are actually taking the child’s power away, in years to come these children will be over-anxious adults, unable to act for themselves, living in dependant or co-dependant relationships. 

      All the parents had to do was let their child learn that there is pain in life and that they are capable of overcoming their own problems and relying on themselves. It’s a basic lesson that we all have to learn at some stage to become successful adults.

    • Allan of Newcastle says:

      03:48pm | 29/08/12

      Hello! Carramaena has hit the nail on the head. The general trend of most to try to blame someone else/shift responsibility onto someone else is out of control. Bit like the no-brain girl from Geelong (?) who is currently suing (or at least attempting to) her school for failing to ensure she got the marks to get into Med School. Please! Do something dumb = getting hurt. Physically or emotionally and sometimes both. That’s how we learn not to do dumb sh*t!!!!

    • Cynicsed says:

      07:04pm | 29/08/12

      Parents also have a responsibility to stand up for their child when the incident is the fault of an agency with a duty of care though. Children need to rely on their parents to be their advocates in situations where they are powerless. The trick is in knowing which situations are your child’s responsibility and which are not.

    • Mel54 says:

      03:13pm | 29/08/12

      Lots of us blame the lawyers and rightly so. But society trains so many of them of course they will find a way to make a living. The laws haven’t changed all that much be we now have more lawyers looking to generate fees. But if there must be blame look no further than the Judges themselves who hand out silly compensations amounts when in reality they should say no! The buck stops with the Bench and not the lawyers or parents in the “nanny” state world.

    • Poindexter says:

      03:13pm | 29/08/12

      It was a sad day when British Bulldog was drummed out of the playground. Rough and tumble play is good for boys. They learn about the hard knocks and how to take them. The Cotton-Wool brigade has a lot to answer for.

    • Markus says:

      03:38pm | 29/08/12

      They may have taken British Bulldog, but they will never take Last Play Tackle.

    • Reggiemaneg says:

      03:13pm | 29/08/12

      My 12 year old broke his collarbone recently in the school gym. Do you mean to tell me we can sue them for that? Hmmm, I need a new 4WD…...

    • neo says:

      03:14pm | 29/08/12

      A childhood without fireworks and BB guns is no childhood at all.

    • Anubis says:

      04:00pm | 29/08/12

      Bring back cracker night, complete with bonfires, rockets, catherine wheels, roman fountains and penny bungers.

    • thatmosis says:

      07:53pm | 29/08/12

      Amen to that. We used to save all our pocket money and buy as many penny bungers and tuppeny bungers as we could. None of that sissy sparklers or fancy fireworks but good exploding , finger burning mayhem.
        But no, some kids got hurt and the nanny state took away our fun as they did with air rifles, slingshots and just about everything that made growing up growing up.
        What we are getting now is kids who cant get rid of all that nervous energy and resort to violence towards others as a substitute, kids who have never been allowed to be real kids but are wrapped in cotton wool by both the state and their parents and grow into adulthood without any idea that life is tough and people wonder what the hell is happening. For gods sake, let kids be kids before its too late.

    • TChong says:

      03:16pm | 29/08/12

      Sooky kids of today
      A frayed fibro shack, with an unflued heater,
      monkey bars suspended above a pit of ravenous rabid pitbulls,
      compulsory fights with the schools bear,( with thanks to “Ripping Yarns”)
      floggings to within an inch of our lives,
      a pannikan of cold gravel with a mug of mineral turps for lunch,
      grabbing the fan belt of the schools tractor ( when in use ) for a “Lucky Dip”, ( couldnt afford real prizes) ,
      we had to use old “sweating” sticks of gelignite instead of a footy…....,
      tell the younguns to day, and they dont believe ya.

    • Loc 1849 says:

      04:50pm | 29/08/12

      .........and if you broke and made a run for it the school leopard would be turned loose to bring you down…......

    • Jack Dwyer says:

      05:33pm | 29/08/12

      What I would have given for a pannikan of cold gravel with a mug of mineral turps for lunch!  You must have gone to one of them upper class schools…!

    • Cynicised says:

      06:56pm | 29/08/12

      Yeah. We were soooo poor there were eight of us living in a matchbox.
      We had to be careful not to fart in case we accidentally ignited the match.
      The yoof of teday, I tells ya!

    • SLF says:

      03:18pm | 29/08/12

      Sadly it is not just schools, it is everywhere. From warnings that your coffee may be hot to signs in the train advising you not to put your head out of the window, we are becoming a nation of people who cannot take account for their own actions.

      In the workplace it isn’t much better, Businesses get sued for anything and everything and employees are subsidised to do so, with ambulance chasing lawyers only too happy to help. Hell people can even sue their businesses when they injure themselves working at home.

      Tory - read this one and weep for businesses.
      http://www.mondaq.com/australia/x/138468/Health+Safety/Hargreaves+v+Telstra+the+blurry+line+between+workplace+and+home

    • LaDiva says:

      03:26pm | 29/08/12

      Yeah well if you’ve ever met any Drummoyne Public School parents you wouldn’t be at all surprised. I had one Drummoyne father abuse me because after his daughter had used my bathroom she stuck her hand under the hot tap and, wait for it, the water coming out was hot! Duh!

    • I hate pies says:

      03:49pm | 29/08/12

      Do you mean she used your toilet? It’s called a toilet in Australia.

    • I hate narcs says:

      04:12pm | 29/08/12

      Wait, we have taps inside toilets in Australia?

      The use of bathroom is perfectly fine, I mean (alongside Kitchens) that’s where taps live.

    • CottonWoolLand says:

      03:27pm | 29/08/12

      “Where are the parents demanding a nanny state?”

      Yes, we need to find them…

      ... and make them do unsafe-handstands until they’ve learned that we will not tolerate their cotton-wool demands!

    • TChong says:

      03:41pm | 29/08/12

      yes! thats the spirit !
      and while we’re at it, we’ll tell those intolerant parents that we wont tolerate their intolerance!

    • El says:

      03:38pm | 29/08/12

      Whoever they are, they are clearly terrorizing society with all their rules and regulations. All this nanny-state rubbish is a form of terrorism in my view. At the very least these people need to be institutionalized because all these rules are clearly ‘sick’.

    • Jsh says:

      04:04pm | 29/08/12

      The people suing only come out when someone gets injured. Up until then, they’re the same as everyone else

    • Jemma says:

      04:10pm | 29/08/12

      Work in childcare -  you will absolutely see these kind of parents. You’d be surprised at the accusations and ridiculous requests that are loaded at child care workers on a daily basis. The system of national and state standards are reactionary in turn. We’re not even allowed to ask 2 year old children to first eat their vegetables before being given their pasta or meat, because it “takes away their right to have choice”.

    • Markus says:

      04:39pm | 29/08/12

      Pasta? Don’t you know my poor little Tobias has a (self-diagnosed) gluten intolerance?! You monster!

    • Stuff That says:

      07:04pm | 29/08/12

      I don’t know, just how much are these rules implemented? When I visited our local childcare of the three adults who were meant to be supervising the kids outside, one was changing a nappies and the other two spent a full 10 minutes with their back to them talking to me. I found the complete lack of supervision most disturbing.

      It was after 10am in the middle of summer and not a single child had a hat on (they were lined up neatly on the fence) and they were playing with a huge pile of unchecked leaves (snakes are very common in our area). Some of the behaviour by children was outright reckless but nothing was said to curb it. Needless to say my daughter never ended up there.

      One friend’s 3yr old broke his leg badly in two places whilst at childcare. Another needed cut by the firies from a fence. Another was getting bitten every single day until the final day when he came home with three deep bite marks on his neck and two on his face - he never went back after that (they wouldn’t identify or exclude the biter - and obviously did nothing to prevent it). These are all incidents from different childcare centres around the country in the last year or two.

      So yeah. I’d be one of those ‘demanding parents’ of childcare workers. Expecting them to keep my child safe from harm. Accidents happen, but it’s not an accident if you did nothing to avoid an obvious set of risks.

    • mumof3 says:

      04:32pm | 29/08/12

      Actually, there are plenty of places in Australia where you are made to feel a weird kind of monster parent if you don’t cotton-wool-wrap your kids and helicopter around them.
      We lived the first 3 years of our son’s life in suburbia. We have a fairly relaxed attitude to our kids hurting themselves and pretty much let him go in the playground from an early age, supervising from the sidelines. The looks we got from other parents were unbelieveable! And we’re talking toddler friendly playgrounds with softfall, for heaven’s sake. One day my then nearly 3 year old fell out of a tree. He was standing on a branch fork at about my hip height, but fell in such a way that he pitched forward and instead of landing in the soft grass managed to land head first on a protruding root. As he was very distressed and vomited shortly afterwards we took him to the local hospital, where the triage nurse gave me this withering look and asked ‘What was he doing in a tree?!’ Well, what do you think a 3 year old does in a tree?!!

    • Gordon says:

      04:49pm | 29/08/12

      Can I sue The Punch for distracting me from work and getting me fired?

    • Cummo says:

      05:01pm | 29/08/12

      Minorities rule. I get sick of surveys which do not have their style of questions published but are able to say things like ‘the majority of Australians want this or that’. Then you read 1500 people were surveyed. Really? If it was 10,000 (.5% of Aussie populace) then I may pay some attention to the survey.

    • Steve says:

      05:23pm | 29/08/12

      If Tory wants to find an over-anxious parent, she could look out for anyone in the supermarket purchasing a touch-less soap dispenser.

    • Michael Graham says:

      06:28pm | 29/08/12

      ‘But who are they?’...easy. They are the inner Sydney west residing, socialists who populate the Q & A audience each and every ridiculous Monday night.

    • A Different Rosie says:

      07:10pm | 29/08/12

      But wait . . . there’s more!  Earlier this evening I noticed that my local supermarket had installed a ‘trolley wipes’ dispenser.  And people probably thought that I was mad for laughing while I shopped all alone.

    • Irony says:

      07:16pm | 29/08/12

      Oh the irony. The article talks about how this topic always attracts an avalanche of “what is the world coming to?” comments from the “back in my day” set and invites all those helicopter parents who never seem to have a face, yet seem to influence decisions, to make comment. So what does it yield? The usual. An avalanche of “what is the world coming to?” comments and no-one claiming the title of helicopter-parent.

      It makes me wonder though. Maybe we all have different standards for different things. I don’t break up fights between two 3 year olds unless they are getting dangerous. I try to let them sort themselves out…but other mothers don’t like that and try to interfere all the time.

      I do however insist that the same 3 year olds take their lollypops out of their mouths before they start their running races (very dangerous if they fall - which is likely at age 3). Yet I am the only one who seems to see this as an obvious danger.

    • 'School Manager says:

      07:33pm | 29/08/12

      Try working in the office at a primary school. You will see that a large portion of the kids are wrapped in cotton wool. The parents believe their children are perfect and if anything goes wrong it is someone else’s fault.

 

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