Upon hearing that Tiger Woods’ wife Elin Nordegren wants half of her soon to be ex-husband’s possible $1 billion fortune we’re instantly reminded of Eddie Murphy’s great Raw routine after he read about Johnny Carson’s divorce.
“What’s up with Johnny?” I turned to the inside story and his wife was on the other page . . . “Johnny’s wife wants half Johnny’s money.”
On what bizarre calculation of marital rights is Tiger’s soon to be ex-wife entitled to between $300 and $500 million?
I’m sure most people don’t dispute Nordegren’s decision to end her marriage with Tiger (and if they do I guess it doesn’t really matter, it’s not our marriage).
Woods has undoubtedly disrespected and embarrassed his wife – she is also looking to file for custody of their two children and is likely to be the bigger price he’ll pay – but half?
If Tiger is worth $1 billion and Elin were given 1 per cent of his worth she’d be getting $10 million. Hell, give her ten per cent, that’s a pretty handy $100 million.
Unless Elin was secretly the brains behind Tigers’ massive drive or came up with the name of calling him Tiger in the first place (cause it’s pretty much the best name in the world), I’m lost as to how she could claim half of what he is worth.
Sure as Tigers’ wife she added to the wholesome family image that it turn probably added to his bankability, but half?
As Murphy famously put it:
“If you have $5 and have to give somebody $2 .50 you’d be upset. Johnny had to have at least $300 million. And have to give up $150 million?’
If you marry somebody and neither one of you have anything and you build million together, you deserve half.
But Johnny was$300 million in when they met. And I’m quite sure she knew.
Johnny says, “Hey, I’m Johnny.”
She was like, “I know who you are, mother******.”
As attractive and seemingly intelligent a woman as Nordegren is, I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be able to claim that her modelling or nannying career was going to pull in $300 million if she hadn’t married Tiger.
But according to LA Times the likelihood of Nordegren actually getting half is pretty slim.
The two had a prenuptial agreement, which could leave her with very little of Tigers’ cash in the end, unless she was smart enough to insert an infidelity clause they would make the whole thing null and void.
The other point is that the Woods’ are live in Florida, and unlike its more generous cousin California, it’s not a state that automatically divides assets 50-50, in which case Elin may have to settle for rough 50 mill or so.
Oh well, we can sill watch this Raw clip again (language warning here people).
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