I always wanted to be Indiana Jones.

Indiana searching for the lost civilisation of Friendster. Picture: Paramount

In addition to being the quintessential whip-cracking he-man, Indy got to dig up ancient relics and shiny physical memories of glories past.

Archaeology has always had a magical appeal to me. There’s a real romance to it that few other pursuits can match.

It’s undeniably fascinating that the discovery of an Egyptian slave girl’s battered vase can cause the same sort of giddy excitement as a King’s long-forgotten sceptre.

As a child (and, admittedly, still) I tried to imagine what our descendants would say as they dusted off a crumbling Sydney Opera House or a dilapidated Statue of Liberty (I presume it will be slightly more poetic than Charlton Heston’s “Damn! Damn! Damn!”).

What will our legacy be?

What sort of archaeological finds and treasures and will have chins wagging in the year 3000?

What will explorers think when they dig out a copy of Justin Bieber’s autobiography- will it come to represent our culture in the same way Tutankhamun did the pharaohs?

Perhaps Tutankhamun was the Justin Bieber of 1330BC- which, incidentally, would explain the fatal head-wound.

But as photo albums and scrap books make way for Facebook and Twitter, it would seem the way we uncover the past is also changing.

Khaki shorts, thick-bristled brushes and British accents with an African or Middle-Eastern flavour may evolve into youthful office wear, touchscreens and online slang.

Digital artefacts like status updates and tweets will be proudly displayed in museums around the world like precious scraps of papyrus.

Will future Lara Crofts fall prey to “Zuckerberg’s Curse” after hacking into his personal iPad?

In any case, they won’t have to work too hard to paint an accurate picture of the past.

By 2050, the entirety of human interaction may very well be mapped and viewable on a 15cm touch screen.

But that would be a terrible shame.

Without enigma, there is no romance.

If history lacks mystery (and accidental rhyme), it becomes dull and lifeless.

Social media is already ruining the simple pleasure of learning about people purely through spending time with them.

There may be hundreds of thousands of people who have already unwittingly dismissed their soulmate after peeking at their Facebook profile following a chance meeting at a club and discovering a wonky photo or dodgy fan group.

I know I’ve looked up distant relatives on Facebook and decided that tiny snippet of information was enough to sate my curiosity and never visit them.

Details can certainly add excitement, but they quite often crush it too.

The discovery of the Americas, for instance, probably wouldn’t hold the same grandeur today if Christopher Columbus had had access to Twitter.

“OMG talk about a wrong turn! Should’ve checked Google Maps LOL! #thanksnavman.”

Would the demise of Pompeii conjure dramatic scenes of love and chaos if its inhabitants were able to post photos of their cats wearing bow ties minutes before the fatal eruption?

I loved history at school because it was the subject that best allowed me to use my imagination.

What did those soldiers say to each other before leaping from the trenches towards certain death?

Did Alexander the Great cry when he realised it was time to head home?

I truly feel for the poor little saps that have to sit in a classroom in 3015 and memorise all 2,976 Justin Bieber tweets before their final exam.

There really are some things that are best left forgotten.

Most commented

20 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • DH says:

      09:56am | 10/01/11

      Awesome. Any article involving Indy gets my vote. I became an archaeologist based on Raiders. Then became everything but an archaeologist because it’s so damn difficult to get paid work in the field. Fortune and glory doesn’t pay the bills sadly. But I’m working on it. Making it up as I go, so to speak.

    • Scot says:

      02:03pm | 10/01/11

      These social websites are being banned or blocked in some Asian countries and the same should happen elsewhere. They are shockers. As is Twitter for Twits. If people cannot manage their social life privately then they deserve the consequences of telling the world their boring life and loosing their identities to third parties. I will not accept any invitations from any of these sites as you do not know who the other parties site is connected to or what they are up to or their relationship? There is no privacy or security or protection. All these social websites want to tell the world is ho many they have 200M or 400M on their site when in fact this is not so. Even when many are dormant or people have “deleted” them. There should be a law that if you do not access in 6 mths it is deleted or the site is prosecuted..

    • fairsfair says:

      09:57am | 10/01/11

      Perhaps Tutankhamun was the Justin Bieber of 1330BC- which, incidentally, would explain the fatal head-wound.

      Bahahaha!

      I reckon Hypercolour jocks and Tamagochis. WTF they will say. WTF!

    • Millsy says:

      09:59am | 10/01/11

      ‘Social media is already ruining the simple pleasure of learning about people purely through spending time with them’

      Ain’t that the truth…....

    • James says:

      10:46am | 10/01/11

      We have found Roman graffiti in ancient sities and it doesn’t make headline material in history lessons.  Facebook and twitter remain just another tool of communicating with each other.  The content of the communication is what will determine whether the material will be for the ages or not.

    • Katie says:

      11:07am | 10/01/11

      I think I’m going to have things thrown at me and completely ruin your joke but…

      “Perhaps Tutankhamun was the Justin Bieber of 1330BC- which, incidentally, would explain the fatal head-wound.”

      Actually, on making catscans of Tutankhamun’s mummy, they believe he died from a leg wound most likely caused by falling from a chariot. The head-wound may have been from mummification, or damage after death.

      /historymajor

      In my defense though, the comparison really did make me laugh!

    • Leah says:

      01:16pm | 10/01/11

      he wouldn’t have also whacked his head falling out of a chariot? raspberry

    • James1 says:

      02:36pm | 10/01/11

      Maybe his chariot was being chased by ancient paparazzo trying to get some engravings of him to post on FacePapyrusscroll, causing it to crash in an ancient Theban tunnel.

    • Mike says:

      11:41am | 10/01/11

      I’m sorr y for being ‘that guy’ but what Charlie-boy really said was “You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!” which is a little poetic don’t you think?

    • Jason Tin says:

      12:09pm | 10/01/11

      Ah, I knew this would happen.

      @Mike, I think you may actually be quite right. I might have confused it with another (ridiculously over-acted) Charlton Heston scene. Another possibility is that my brain told me the wrong thing. I knew I should’ve checked Conservapedia.

      @Katie - let’s assume, then, that he was pushed from the chariot.

    • Adrian says:

      12:29pm | 10/01/11

      Troy McClure: “You finally made a monkey a monkey out of me!”

    • Chris L says:

      01:38pm | 10/01/11

      “I knew I should’ve checked Conservapedia”

      I wonder what the entry on Charlten will be like. As the former president of the rifle association he would surely get a glowing commentary (whether he deserved it or not) yet he did utter the blasphemous curse of “God damn you all to hell!” in reference to nuking the planet, which surely has been the Republican dream for a couple of decades now.

    • Andrew says:

      12:07pm | 10/01/11

      In years to come, it will be the artifacts left over from our time which will be the interesting points of history… The very first web server is right now sitting in a museum, and whilst there is still pieces of the very first website ever created sitting on it, the computer is not powered up, or displaying that very first page.

      A big issue with such things like tweets and facebook status updates is that an individual update will not be remembered for much longer than a few days, in some cases only a few minutes. It’s quite a different thing to an object such as a vase which will be remembered and cherished for months and even years.

      If in the year 3000, they go back searching the “facebook”, they will be looking for the technology to make facebook work. They won’t be looking for what I thought about my dinner on the 9th jan 2011.

    • Mark says:

      02:44am | 11/01/11

      In the year 3000 the technology that made facebook & twitfest etc work will be stored in a microchip in your brain, along with god knows what else.
      However, should we nuke ourselves into oblivion then sure yeah new age mutant cavemen could get a thrill out of playing hit the corroding laptop with a stick.
      Several thousand years of evolution after that I pity the terminal boredom 3 headed archeaologists will experience when they pore through billions of banal & seriously pointless facebook/twitter entries. By the time they got to that stage the technology will hardly be a mystery.

    • Drew says:

      12:33pm | 11/01/11

      @Mark - you obviously don’t understand archeology at all. We still use water jugs and wheels in every day life but that doesn’t take away the importance of discovering a 10000 year old clay water pitcher or the very first wheel.

      Imagine as an archeologist you found the very first wheel ever invented, who invented it and when.

      We have wheels on everything in the modern era but that wouldn’t take away the enormity of the discovery of finding the very first one, or more importantly of knowing who invented it and why. The wheel changed human history.

      They may not seem very impressive to us now, but don’t be so quick to write off the first computers, the first car engines, the first aeroplanes, the first TV transmissions, etc. The past 10000 years of human history have been horses, sail ships, canoes, wood fired cooking. The next 10000 years will include computers, engines, jets, space travel and digital networks.

    • Mark says:

      02:17am | 12/01/11

      Drew - Your impassioned Archeology 101 refresher had me up and hugging my antiquities to reassure them I was ONLY referring to facebook/twitter in context to part of Andrew’s last comments ‘they will be looking for the technology to make facebook work’.
      Cheers

    • Jenni says:

      02:07pm | 10/01/11

      Well, I don’t know what he’d think of facebook or twitter, but he LOVES crowdrise (think, social networking meets philanthropy) where he is campaigning for donations to conservation work. Check it out!

      http://www.crowdrise.com/harrisonford

      ... and that’s a verified account, for the non-believers out there smile

    • guy lee hanlon says:

      08:05pm | 10/01/11

      indiana Jones would consider the internet as the Holy Grail

    • guy lee hanlon says:

      08:06pm | 10/01/11

      facebook is the holy grail amd itis more valuable than the bible.

    • Henrietta Jones Jr. says:

      09:20am | 11/01/11

      Many lols at “cats wearing bow ties”.  Particularly as this morning, the girlfriend of my cousin posted a picture of her dog wearing a hat.

      I have often wondered what we will leave for future generations and how arcaheology will change (I too gave it away as a career after realising that passion doesn’t pay the bills)  I once read a book set in the future where the only relic of the 20th century was an episode of twin peaks… though I suppose that would be preferable to the biography of Justin Bieber!

      Who knows, maybe even this article and its comments will be marvelled at by our descendants….

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Daniel Piotrowski

RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi

tory_maguire

RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi

Daniel Piotrowski

Australia. Where you die for your country and get a rest area named after you http://t.co/hO6LpfwDvI

ToryShepherd

@benpobjie @jessadamson7 @jhwakelin kinda creepy from a high school cheerleader #misheardlyrics

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter