On the eve of the AFL Grand Final, I wrote just two words. Colliwobble Day.

We can't think of anything else to do with our hands. Picture: Tim Caffara.

It wasn’t a deliberate curse – I was simply acting on a sickly feeling that the Magpies might kind of wobble.

My instincts proved right, when the Pies died in the second half of their Grand Final showdown against the Saints. It’s scary, when you feel those Colliwobbles invading the hallowed turf once more.

In 1977, Collingwood played in a drawn Grand Final against North Melbourne. I remember the hollow feeling all too well – and watching on in horror as the footballers collapsed like flies all over the ground.

I relived that weird feeling on Saturday afternoon, 33 years after the Pies-Roos draw.

Pressure is a funny thing. It can choke the most gifted, skilful athletes and therefore sporting teams. Those Magpie goal-kicking yips appeared again.

The Pies were confident their days of inaccurate kicking were behind them. But just that smidge of doubt haunted the Woods – again – on Saturday. And it cost them the premiership cup, drawing 68-all.

In the first half of the Grand Final, it appeared the Pies were on their way to yet another cakewalk. But then the demons of 1977 returned to haunt the hallowed turf.

Collingwood’s composure and confidence seemed to evaporate as the Saints let it rip.

The Magpies could feel the game slipping from their grasp in the dying minutes and they fought tooth and nail, whacking through a couple of goals.

But the Saints hate losing, especially after their narrow, painful loss to Geelong last year. So they fought back – and tied the score – just hours after Prime Minister Julia Gillard pleaded with the footballers not to draw the game.

Ms Gillard might have put the mozz on the Magpies. A logistical nightmare follows the draw, as people’s plans are put on ice for another week.

It’s tough to predict the outcome of a match that rides on emotion. I was convinced the Pies would win the Grand Final, based on their form, player dynamics and confidence.

But there is a much greater force at play … desire. The hungriest team will win this Saturday. Who knows if it will be another Colliwobble Day?

52 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • T.Chong says:

      05:59am | 27/09/10

      A great game with a surprising reult.  “Pies will win next week.
      With the League, the best side did NOT win. The Dragons chief play maker wore pink .  As Tony sez: “We wuz robbed”.

    • dovif says:

      10:16am | 27/09/10

      Yeah the losers decree that “wee wuz robbed”

      I was at the game and can safely say that Marshall and Lui were both onside for about 15 of the 200 tackles that the Tigers made. Often they started running up before the ball was played. The Ref fail to penalise the Tigers to stop them being offside

      Tigers first try came from when a ball runner took Gasnier out.

      Their second tried came off 2 dubious penalties and a foward pass 2 tackles ago

      Morris made a half break before the break, but got called back for a “forward” pass that went backward by 1/2 a meter

      Yeah, the Tigers received the calls

    • Dwayne Liberaltory says:

      06:05am | 27/09/10

      In the interest of alliteration,it,s no longer the Collingwood Magpies, it just has to be the Collingwood Chokers

    • Steve says:

      09:43am | 27/09/10

      @Dwayne
      In the interest of the obvious … were in the fifth quarter… your not!!

    • acotrel says:

      07:26am | 27/09/10

      Perhaps we need some INDEPENDENTS on the ground?

    • acotrel says:

      07:28am | 27/09/10

      Abbott got a free kick right in front of goal, and still ended up in a draw?

    • Macon Paine says:

      09:17am | 27/09/10

      Ahh acotrel, I knew you’d find a way to bring Abbott into this one! Perhaps what you say has some truth but lets remember that Labor held a 28 point (or seats in this case) lead until the final 10 mins, then after a couple of dodgy decisions the Vice Captain (who earlier had promised she wouldn’t knife her Captain in the back) went on to break the first of many promises and knifed her Captain in the back! Then Labor under it’s glorious new Captain who’s red hair is an ironic symbol of her political leanings, went on to choke their way to a draw! Colliwobble Magpie style!

    • Max Vaunted says:

      10:57am | 27/09/10

      What was needed was a couple of disaffected former St Kilda rejects to rush on and kick the Pies to an unlikely victory at the last minute.

    • Dale says:

      07:53am | 27/09/10

      Everyone knows the rules before the season so no use complaining now. Next week will still be huge. Pies are still certainties for the flag.

    • iansand says:

      08:09am | 27/09/10

      I have a conspiracy theory.  This is a dastardly ploy by the AFL to distract attention from the League Grand Final.

    • TimB says:

      08:45am | 27/09/10

      I’m cool with that. Sydney City Vs St George Illawarra. My two most hated teams contesting the GF. I’m not sure I can even watch.

    • justamate says:

      08:21am | 27/09/10

      It is so simple to comment, for thoughs who have never played in any Grandfinal, let alone Win one! 

      Then in front of the world + the live 100 odd thousand.

      Put on some boots & give it ago! It is a ball & the toughest game I have ever played.

    • Murray says:

      08:37am | 27/09/10

      Loved it.  If only they could continue to draw forever.

    • amused says:

      09:06am | 27/09/10

      I find it very bizarre that a few weeks ago after the drawn Federal Election people were calling for a reply because there was no result on the day. Now we have a drawn Grand Final and everybody’s saying it should have been decided on the day and that a reply is a farce. I wish you Aussies would make up your minds.

    • TimB says:

      09:17am | 27/09/10

      Yes because an election is exactly the same as a football match.

      *rolls eyes*

    • KH says:

      09:19am | 27/09/10

      Let me ‘reply’ to that…......an election determines who will run the country, for the next 3 or so years.  That is important, and worth having another election if thats what it comes to. 

      This was a game of football, which means NOTHING to most people.
      Just have extra time, like most other sports where there has to be a winner, give out the damn medals and move on.  They are hardly comparable events.

    • Rosie says:

      09:25am | 27/09/10

      Julia Gillard is bad news! The woman jinxed the AFL Grand Final when she pleaded to some being, not God because she is a non believer that we as a nation cannot have a draw! The woman had one thought in mind and that was the difficulties she and her Labor Party are facing because of the Election results which in some way was also a draw.

      Please PM stay out of it this Saturday and with your supervision you could get the first bloke to mow the lawns of the Lodge as it sure needs mowing. Something may just work out for you!

    • Andrew says:

      10:05am | 27/09/10

      Look I hear what you say but at the end of the day one of those events was very important to the entire country and the other was just a federal election.

    • Lauren says:

      09:25am | 27/09/10

      I don’t think I can deal with another week’s worth of stress and heartache… My Dad had to help escort me out of the MCG because I was that exhausted and depressed.

      Come on pies..

    • Gregg says:

      12:29pm | 27/09/10

      I wouldn’t go next week Lauren nor even watch for if the Pies couldn’t do it with the extra 24 hours break they had over the Saints, they’ll be just that little bit more knackered this Saturday and you do know that the greatestimpact of all is going to be in the heads of the Pies for though none will admit so, it’ll be ” just maybe the Colliwobbles is not a myth afterall! ”

    • stephen says:

      09:46am | 27/09/10

      Does Nick Riewoldt need glasses ?
      Some of the marks he attempted, well, I could’hve caught them from a pub in George street. And what’s with this passing the ball 1-2 metres to a man away ; no use that, cause your opponent is only going to divert his attention. If you can’t defend your own possession, then give the game away.

      Nowadays they’re playing particle football : possession at all cost through short passes, short kicks, handballs. I haven’t seen a really good mark for 6-7 weeks.
      Boring, and the next training session all teams should have to watch 1980 ‘s videoed games to see a good running-game style of play.
      Hope it rains on Saturday. I don’t wanna notice Mick cry.

    • Nickk says:

      01:26am | 29/09/10

      Not a Saints fan, but Riewoldt took some amazing grabs in the game, especially in the third quarter.

      You know nothing about footy if you believe he’s a lousy mark, and that there have been no ‘really good’ marks for 6-7 weeks.

    • Hermano says:

      10:07am | 27/09/10

      My favourite bit was how nobody won.

    • Kath says:

      10:34am | 27/09/10

      Yep - we didn’t want either team to win either; and were hoping for a draw.  We got our wish.

    • hot tub political machine says:

      10:07am | 27/09/10

      Well I’m with Caroline Wilson on this one – it…….satisfies me.

      Its nice to see things not going to plan for those who treat Grand Final Day as a tribute to absurdity.

      With all this ridiculous hype, the pseudo-religious bs lines of the commentators e.g. calling it a pilgrimage to the “hallowed turf” of the MCG, to obtain the “Holy Grail” (it all sounds like a 9 year old who is reading some good children’s versions of greek mythology)....I personally am pleased to see the overhyping types reminded of the fact that the Grand Final is still a game of sport and not an “event”.

      Indeed, the joy of sport is that its better drama, and better entertainment because those types can’t stage manage it like they can everything else

    • Michael C. Donovan says:

      10:20am | 27/09/10

      I find it hilarious that the rugby knuckle-head supporters (who would make ideal candidates for Collingwood supporters, though I wouldn’t even wish that upon them) are all crying foul over the fact that the AFL Grand Final replay is going to take the focus away from their game. 

      The fact is, NSW rejected their chance back in the day to adopt the Australian game, instead choosing to stick with their Pommie “imports”.  Fast forward to today and I don’t even have to begin listing the advantages that the AFL has over the NRL, they’re as clear as day - and yes, I’m fully aware that there are problems in the AFL, but still - get your own house in order first before you start critcizing others.  Just sayin’.

      Furthermore, the amount of knee-jerkers within our code (particularly Collingwood captain Nick Maxwell, that sooky la-la) pleading for extra time to be played instead of a full match is just ridiculous.  If you take the time to think about it, a full match replayed is by far the fairest way to decide a true premiership winner.

      How hollow would you feel after having victory snatched away from you in what is essentially more time-on?  Granted, it shouldn’t be more than one replay (and kudos for Demetriou and Fitzpatrick for actually using their heads for once), but everybody knows that this has always been the rule in AFL - if you draw in the Grand Final, you come back and play it next week.  It’s simple.  It’s tradition.  It’s the way it should be.

    • Luke says:

      01:08pm | 27/09/10

      Says a lot about our current society when tradition is traded for excuses like we need a result because some highly paid players had holidays booked or you can’t step on other lesser sports (League, soccer)territory. If it was good enough in the 40’s and 70’s to replay the games it is good enough now, so stop complaining people we get another game to watch!

    • Hermano says:

      01:55pm | 27/09/10

      i live in Sydney and haven’t heard anyone complaining about the Grand Final re-run stealing the thunder of the NRL.  But then I do live under a rock…
      I find the whole thing highly amusing.  The looks on the player’s faces was a resounding “we wuz robbed!” when they only had themselves to blame for their predicament.  How many behinds were kicked?  How many fumbles?  How much arsing about?  They both had their chances and blew it, so they come back next week.
      Me?  I’ll be watching the cycling world championships.  Geelong gets the spotlight on Grand Final weekend!

    • Steve Smith says:

      12:04am | 28/09/10

      Micky C.D… glad you find your own false assumptions hilarious. I don’t know any “rugby knuckle-head supporter (insert Collingwood reference)” who is “crying foul” over the AFL Grand Final replay. Heck, I’d be suprised if people knew there was a game to begin with.. you know, being knuckle heads and all

    • dovif says:

      10:23am | 27/09/10

      Can someone tell these idiots that it is called the Grand “FINAL” for a reason

      This is supposed to be the FINAL game of the season.

      Not the “last game of the season and if it ends in draws after draws… we plays until February”

      It is just blatent false advertising to say a game is “FINAL” when it was clearly not FINAL

      If I had brought tickets, I would write to the AFL and demand a refund for false advertising

    • Paul says:

      10:25am | 27/09/10

      Not being a betting man I was left wondering; how much money did the betting agencys make on the weekend?

    • Luke says:

      01:18pm | 27/09/10

      Most of the bets would be refunded as most markets would not have had the draw as an option. Unless the draw was one of the betting options which only limited markets had all money goes back.

    • Miles says:

      01:27pm | 27/09/10

      Some agencies paid out half odds on head to head bets (only) where a draw was not an option.

    • Lazy Jesus says:

      10:26am | 27/09/10

      Surely I’m not the only one that finds this a tad embarrassing. Can anyone name another major sporting code that would allow/require a replay of the deciding game? I’d reckon we’d look pretty stupid looking in from the outside.

      Also, if we can have extra time this coming Saturday, why could we not have it last Saturday? Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

    • Andrew says:

      11:46am | 27/09/10

      Rugby league used to have replays. I think a Cronulla/Manly GF was replayed in the late seventies.

    • Bruce says:

      03:02pm | 27/09/10

      The FA Cup has replays, even in the rounds. The Final used to be replayed - but I believe that the final is decided on penalties now days.

    • KH says:

      03:03pm | 27/09/10

      The FA cup used to have replays - but now all is settled with extra time and penalty shootout.
      An AFL penalty shootout would be funny…............

    • AFR says:

      04:43pm | 27/09/10

      I think one of the golf majors has a full round play-off the next day if there is a tie at the end. Andrew, i the league GF game was replayed after it was still locked up at the end of 20 minutes extra time.

    • Carl Palmer says:

      10:48am | 27/09/10

      As for your statement “The Pies were confident their days of inaccurate kicking…..”. Let’s look at the facts -

      9 14 less 7 (1, 3, 2, 1) rushed behinds = 9 7 = 16 scoring shots.
      10 8 less 1 (-,-,1,-) rushed behinds = 10 8 = 18 scoring shots

      The inaccurate kicking was not a factor it is an excuse. Another telling stat - second half scoring shots

      The Wobbles 4.2
      The Sainters 6.6. 

      Overall, Sainters had more Disposals, marks, hit outs and tackles and less Frees

      The Wobbles game plan requires significant endurance and as one would expect, ran out of legs as the game unfolded. Had there been extra time, The Wobbles would have lost.

      The Saints won the second half by beating Collingwood at the put pressure on the ball carrier. The stats pretty much support that proposition. If the Sainters play like that for the whole games, Collingwood will crumble as they did in the second half.

      The other reason Collingwood did so well in the first half, was the 3 yellows blokes giving them a clear passage in the first Qtr and part of the second Qtr.

    • Ern malley says:

      12:23pm | 27/09/10

      Michael C Donovan - yes, your sport is soooo superior to NRL that a Rugby League player who has played next to no AFL will be the highest paid AFL player next year! Hilarious! NSW hasn’t rejected the sport - we are just bored by it. 

      And as for the lame argument that the game should be replayed just because of “tradition”; the AFL has already announced that they will introduce extra time this week “departing with tradition”. The whole situation is a farce.

    • Gregg says:

      12:40pm | 27/09/10

      Well Ern, you might have just sight of the fact that there’s something called expansion and promotion that even RL and the AR do partake of if just not quite so well.
      Introducing extra time for the replay is just indicative of it being recognised that even tradition does not warrant more than one replay.

    • Michael C. Donovan says:

      01:38pm | 27/09/10

      From Wikipedia (Australian rules football):

      Gradually the game – known at first as “Melbourne Rules” became “Victorian Rules” and then “Australian Rules” or “Australasian Rules” following its spread from Victoria into other Australasian colonies, beginning with South Australia (1860), Tasmania (1864), Queensland (1866), and New Zealand (1871). In 1877, the sport’s first governing bodies, the South Australian Football Association and the Victorian Football Association were formed on 30 April and 17 May respectively.

      The game began to be played in New South Wales in 1877, in Western Australia in 1881 and the Australian Capital Territory in 1911. By 1916, the game was first played in the Northern Territory, establishing a permanent presence in all Australian states and mainland territories.

      The precursors of the South Australian National Football League (SANFL) and the West Australian Football League (WAFL) were strong, separate competitions by the 1890s. However late in the century the code began to decline in New South Wales and Queensland largely due to interstate rivalries and the lack of strong local governing bodies. In the case of Sydney, denial of access to grounds and the loss of professional players to other football codes directly inhibited to the game’s growth.

      Let me repeat: “However late in the century, the code began to decline in New South Wales and Queensland largely due to interstate rivalries and the lack of strong local governing bodies.  In the case of Sydney, denial of access to grounds and the loss of professional players to other football codes directly inhibited to the game’s growth.”

      Take from that what you will.

    • Gregg says:

      12:53pm | 27/09/10

      No Let-down Julie and What the Hell it was was a tight at times slug it out between the best teams of the final series, both with superb defences and with both that could have been deserving of victory after an epic two hours.
      It would be a shame to split such a situation with extra time golden scoring etc. for unlike the other codes that have offside/onside AFL is much more a game of open spaces and speed but one which would allow for stacking the backline or keeping posession for a shorter period by the team that first scored.

      A replay is the way to go and unfortunately for the Pies, it will mean they now will not have that extra 24 hours rest that they had on Saturday compared to the Saints.
      That and the Colliwobbles is no myth inside the heads of their players that they will not discuss openly amongst themselves or not with their true feelings will see the Wobbles maintain its wondrous but intangible aura.

    • Miles says:

      01:26pm | 27/09/10

      Your comment:Have another whinge….  This rule has ALWAYS been part of the game.  Nobody should express surprise or outrgage when it has inevitably been exercised.  The way I see it, we now just double the fun and excitement of a Grand Final.  We have double the reason to celebrate…

    • Aussie Wazza says:

      02:04pm | 27/09/10

      Come on now, wake up. It’s a BUSINESS now, not a sport.
      This ‘tie’ will allow the mob to pull in quite a few more million$$.

      Next time play to a decision even if like tennis it goes all night.

      The fans went to see a winner and a loser.

    • hot tub political machine says:

      03:14pm | 27/09/10

      Spot on Wazza. If the AFL was a competition first and a way of making money second, Collingwood would have to travel more than 4 times a season

    • Shawn says:

      04:04pm | 27/09/10

      It was a shame to draw, why couldnt we just have the Independants decide who wins?

    • Tails says:

      04:08pm | 27/09/10

      Everyone is conveniently forgetting that the Saints hit the front by a goal with four minutes to go. Yet no one is accusing them of a choke.
      That’s two Grand Finals in 12 months for the Saints without a win.
      Let’s also not forget that the last time Collingwood won a Grand Final it was held in October. Thus rendering the Colliwobbles null and void.

    • karl says:

      07:09pm | 27/09/10

      True, the Colliwobbles are a September phenomenon. 

      Maybe

      Hoping so…...

    • John Ryan says:

      06:52pm | 27/09/10

      Apart from a bunch of rather dull Victorians who cares

    • Haunted says:

      08:41am | 28/09/10

      Go Woods ... go haunt yourself against those Saints!!!!

    • Ricky Smith says:

      10:06am | 28/09/10

      There is this replay because of the existing rule. But if it is a stupid rule we must admit it and change it. Only an ass will continue with such a rule.

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Anthony Sharwood

Dementor doing a good job for sweden #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision

Anthony Sharwood

RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story

Anthony Sharwood

These peole insult my grandmothjer, who was born in minsk, belarus #sbseurovision

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it

Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it

An email was sent to almost every politician in Australia this week saying that someone should cut off…

Our special forces don’t always need special treatment

Our special forces don’t always need special treatment

We admire them, but we’re not entirely sure why. We allow them to operate in the shadows; we rarely…

A good holiday is about unrest, not rest

A good holiday is about unrest, not rest

Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

Michael S says:

"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]

From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone

Change Up! says:

I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments

A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more

243 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free daily Punch newsletter