They waited for the plane to land before it happened. Given the violently bumpy landing that was definitely a good thing. But not such a good thing for the woman three rows in front with the toddler and the baby, who projectile vomited in unison all over their seats.

Mad Men ´The Carousel´ from Emilio on Vimeo.

“Great way to end a holiday,” the mother announced mostly to herself as we stared, opened mouthed, watching her and vomit-covered husband as they jostled with their kids and attempted to deplane before their fellow passengers. The rude air hostesses didn’t even offer a sympathetic smile. But that’s another story.

As we’ve seen this week, air travel can go wrong for all kinds of reasons. But what if the ash cloud never went away? What if we reverted to a world without aeroplanes and overseas holidays? Maybe this idea fills you with dread. But think of the positives…

For one thing, there’d be a lot less of other people’s baby vomit on our laps. And there’d also be a heck of a lot less chaos and frustration when you only have to rely on yourself to get you to your destination.

The fun’s gone out of air travel anyway. Delays are guaranteed, you can’t take a tube of normal-sized toothpaste on board and you don’t get so much as a tiny square of complimentary cheese anymore. 

Yes, this ash cloud could be onto something. Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe it’s trying to tell us all to stop trying to fly off to the newest and trendiest destination, but to slow down and enjoy the sort of holidays we used to love so much when we were kids.

You know the type of holiday. Over-pack the car, over-stretch the distance, underestimate the travel time, crank up some tunes, have screaming matches when you get lost, forget stuff, blame everyone else and yes, get car sick. But as mentioned, at least it’s your vomit, not someone else’s.

Over in the United States, nostalgia holidays are the cool new thing. A bunch of trendsetters from New York have just chosen to spend their current summer holidays a little bit closer to home, in a place called the Rockaways, Queens.

In a recent review for The New York Times, Ben Detrick called it a “sliver of dilapidated bungalows, drug-riddled public housing and WPA-era boardwalk at the end point of the A train.”

Another holidaymaker described it as “the anti-Hamptons”.

You can just imagine the travel brochure: Dumpy little seaside town, close to the city, has swimming beach and is accessible with weekly travel pass. Cheap, convenient, and nostalgic. 

Not to mention an excellent anathema to holiday-friendship claustrophobia, because being close to home means you’re never too far away to bump into someone you know. And let’s face it, that’s pretty much what happens in Phuket or Bali anyway, isn’t it?

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39 comments

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    • atthepub says:

      06:07am | 24/06/11

      Spot on Lucy. Holidays are way overrated. If you can’t have fun ordinarily, what are you doing with your lives?

    • CJ Morgan says:

      06:46am | 24/06/11

      I don’t know atthepub, I think holidays away from one’s daily grind are quite essential for one’s mental health - but of course you don’t have to fly halfway around the world for a good vacation.

      Lucy Kippisi is right on the money, I think.  I used to fly frequently for work and for pleasure, but the experience of air travel post 9/11 has become downright unpleasant.  These days I’d rather drive, quite frankly - and if that’s not an option I’d rather not travel unless absolutely necessary.

    • Gladys says:

      08:38am | 24/06/11

      I used to be a bit like atthepub, but then my husband showed me how to have a holiday. We went to Europe and saw different things, spoke different languages and ate different foods and drank pretty darn good beers. (It was Bavaria).

      Now I don’t so much as look at a holiday as a way to unwind but a way to get stimulated mentally.

      But other people like to lie by the pool with drinks with umbrellas in them. And that’s fine too.

    • Justin says:

      01:55pm | 24/06/11

      The idea of flying for a holiday makes me break out in a cold sweat. The airlines won’t let me take my bike, and I can’t stand to be away from her. I plan all my holidays around visiting new twisty roads that I haven’t visited before.

      The best thing is, twisty roads normally lead to awesome little gems of places to visit too. Fly? No thanks, that’s something I do for work, not pleasure.

    • marley says:

      04:30pm | 24/06/11

      @Justin - I’m curious about your statement that the airlines won’t let you take your bike.  My sister and brother in law have cycled in the UK, France, Thailand, Viet Nam, Mexico, the US and Canada - and were always able to take their bikes with them.

    • Justin says:

      12:17pm | 25/06/11

      She’s 650cc’s worth of bike Marley, that’s why she loves to hit the twisties, and why the airlines and her don’t get along wink

    • marley says:

      01:22pm | 25/06/11

      @Justin - ah, got you.  Guess you’d better take a freighter and put her in the hold!

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      06:12am | 24/06/11

      I’d be ok with a permanent ash cloud over Australia if they had more cruise options from Australia. Plus the positive fact that the politicians would be contained within Canberra for longer periods of time like the virulent diseases that they are.

    • deb says:

      07:16am | 24/06/11

      i got over flying after Quantas! they really treat people like idiots!
      broken seats and abuse because the damm seat wouldnt stay in upright position? My fault? told repeatedly to put the seat up madam,only to have it fall it on deaf ears that the seat was broken.
      lousy food and lousy service!
      Stay home and enjoy my own broken seats thank you.

    • John Smythe says:

      08:59am | 24/06/11

      hahaha I had that experience recently too. I wasn’t going to sleep so the seat was fully upright when I boarded. Before take off the stewardess asked me to put the seat in the upright position. Same again before landing. Maybe they are just piloting autoadjust seats? smile

    • Edward James says:

      07:21am | 24/06/11

      The ash clouds have hung around before Lucy it is not out of the question! I still have not got a passport probably never will. I aspire to ride around this country and enjoy all those things I have only seen others enjoying on TV. There is a song; No matter where you go you always take your troubles with you. God I hope those words are not prophetic! Edward James

    • Steve says:

      11:44am | 24/06/11

      Busted flat in baton rouge headed for the trains. Bobby flagged a diesel down before it rained. Took us all the way to New Orleans. I pulled out my harpoon from my dirty red bandana and started playing sad.

    • Edward James says:

      03:02pm | 24/06/11

      Ar yes Janis Joplin Bobby Magee how many people carry harmonicas round with them today?

    • Steve says:

      03:42pm | 24/06/11

      Technically it is a kris christophersen song but he was a young unknown when Janis Joplin “covered” it. i reckon the first time most people heard it was Janis Joplin so that version feels like the original.

      There is a very slow studio version done by christophersen which I ahven’t heard for years which i really like.

      In any case the theme has got to better than “taking your troubles with you”

    • Edward James says:

      12:42am | 25/06/11

      Cheers Steve. That song sung by Janis Joplin when I hear it I can recall what it was like to be riding as passenger in a big rig in the pouring rain with the windscreen wipers thump thump, thump thump, and the regular glimpses up the highway.  I like to watch spics and specks because it is a bit like time traveling to hear the old music and songs. {:-)

    • S.L says:

      07:22am | 24/06/11

      Ash clouds are the new tsunami….............

    • christine lovell says:

      08:01am | 24/06/11

      you dont live in Tasmania , obviously ! pfft so you would wish that isolation on us again , thanks alot !

    • Joel B1 says:

      08:26am | 24/06/11

      Yes. Thanks to cheap airfares we actually manage to get cultured in Melbourne and surrounds.

      And the boat is so expensive one of us goes on the boat with the car and picks the others up from the airport.

    • MargD says:

      08:22am | 24/06/11

      I have the solution to the problem; Julia Gillard should make the supreme sacrifice and throw herself into the volcano followed by all of her lemmings.

    • Reggie says:

      09:48am | 24/06/11

      Having betrayed your subnormal assessment, perhaps you should lead off.

    • NicoleG says:

      10:39am | 24/06/11

      That sounds good in theory Marg, but realistically she’s so bitter and sour, it would immediately spit her out.

    • Fiona says:

      01:08pm | 25/06/11

      Why does politics always have to come into it? Are they that interesting?

    • Nigel says:

      10:06am | 24/06/11

      MargD, she’d have to be a sinless virgin, and I am sure that is not the case with our JuLiar.

    • Harquebus says:

      11:05am | 24/06/11

      I wish these idiots who use Flash would leave.

    • fairsfair says:

      11:20am | 24/06/11

      I find it too expensive to holiday locally. I can get the same for my money far away and get the whole feeling like you actually went somewhere. Plus flights are so cheap, you’d be nuts not to spend an extra couple of hundy to explore a completely new environment.

      Cairns is fantastic for day trips, but if you want to overnight somewhere you have to pay hundreds to stay in a place that is within driving distance of your free bed back at home. There is only so many times you can go to the reef, the islands, the daintree, the tablelands, the coffee estate, the waterfalls, the crater lakes, Palm Cove, Port Douglas, Etty Bay etc.

      I would love to go on holiday in Cairns. Its a great place to visit.

      I’ll stick to my air travel thanks Lucy. I just wish people would treat the travel part as a component of their holiday. It is only as stressful as you make it (ash clouds aside) and it is a true marvel really. There is some comedian (can’t remember his name) who has a bit about people complaining on planes. HELLO! Look out the window - you are in a metal tube travelling at hundreds of kilometres per hour 30 000ft in the air - it is absolutely amazing and we need to re-realise that. People didn’t die and devote their lives to developing a wonder of engineering so that bogans can complain that their $79 sale ticket is too expensive and they didnt’ get a complimentary hot towel.

    • Geoff says:

      12:45pm | 24/06/11

      What is so bad about holidaying in australias backyard? Great beaches exciting cities, top landscape

    • Ruby says:

      03:33pm | 24/06/11

      Because it is usually ridiculously overpriced. I recently went to the Whitsundays and was absolutely rorted every where I went.

    • Edward James says:

      03:13pm | 24/06/11

      I am planing riding around Australia on a motor bike I have already bought a swag and I will sleep rough four or five nights a week and hit an motel to do my washing and have a relax in a sauna or whatever. I will need to live a long time to see the rest of the world! I want to catch my one fish and cook it on a hot rock and do heaps of other stuff all right here in my own country! Australia love it or leave it.

    • marley says:

      04:35pm | 24/06/11

      @Edward - seeing Australia is a great objective, but don’t criticize those who want to see other parts of the world as well.  I’ve lived in a lot of places, and there’s something worth seeing or doing in just about all of them.  I love Australia, and I try to do one trip a year to a part of it I haven’t been to before, but I’m damned if I’m going to give up my plans for a pub walk across England, or one more visit to Istanbul.

    • Steve says:

      05:23pm | 24/06/11

      Marley. Istambul is great but I felt once was enough. What did I miss that is getting you back again.

    • marley says:

      07:34pm | 24/06/11

      @Steve - architecture, museums, food, colour - that’s what I think of when I think of Istanbul.

      There’s so much history there - from the Romans and on. I was fascinated by the underground palace (aka the cistern) built by the Romans. And by the Aya Sophia, but also the later mosques.  And there are more museums there than you can shake a stick at, Topkapi first, but many others besides.

      Shopping:  the Covered Bazaar is legendary, but the little shops around it are better for snooping about and finding interesting little bits.  Got a terrific copper and tinned tray and a very old vase (it was probably the bottom of a hookah) for not a whole lot.  And enjoyed the bargaining.  I also found some quite interesting places for buying small woven things like salt bags, that bring to life some of the tribal history without costing (or weighing) as much as a carpet.

      And I will always remember finding a lunch place filled with workers from the bazaar, and having an extraordinary meal-  fresh pide bread, grilled beef and chicken shish kebab, salads, grilled veggies and soft drinks - $5 for the two of us.

      Took the local ferry up the Bosphorus, zigzagging back and forth, before landing and climbing up to an old Frankish fortification overlooking the Black Sea.  Then heading down and having lunch in a little restaurant with water lapping just below us, a fresh-grilled fish, and a decent glass of wine.  Again, the cost was peanuts.

      I just have always had good accommodation, food and service there - and whether in a 4 star hotel or a b&b, whether at a good restaurant or off a street vendor.

      For me, Istanbul is a very special place, a city on a par with Rome - and there aren’t many places I would say that about. 

      And of course, if you get out of Istanbul and down to the coast, there are great beaches, good food, and Turkey is a whole lot friendlier and cheaper than Greece. 

      Each to his own of course - but it’s one of my favourite places.

    • Edward James says:

      01:11am | 25/06/11

      @ Marley, I’ve not been far away from the east coast of my country, Fond memories of Sofala, Lightning Ridge, and Magnetic Island where I enjoyed my first snorkeling and seen my first clown fish in coral, way back when smorgasbord meal’s were six dollars and a pot was a dollar. I have not been to Tasmania which once was thirty years ago said to be the land of ABC. I might make it to NZ sometime interested in the Maori carving. From where I am in life I understand every opportunity which is passed up is gone!  Edward James

    • marley says:

      07:28am | 25/06/11

      @EdwardJames - opportunities missed, as you say, are gone - but roads lead everywhere, don’t they - and both Istanbul and Magnetic Island are worthy destinations (and so is Rotorua, by the way).  I’m less convinced about beach resorts and cruises, but different strokes, I guess….

    • Ruby says:

      03:31pm | 24/06/11

      Bring on the super fast trains through Brisbane-Sydney-Canberra-Melbourne. Three hour train trip from Sydney to Melbourne? Yes please. Would work out to be much more comfortable and a lot less hassle than getting a plane, plus you can use your phone/internet the whole time.

    • Joe says:

      05:07pm | 24/06/11

      Wait till Yellowstone blows. No body in the world will be flying anywhere for years.

    • Chris says:

      07:56pm | 25/06/11

      Lol, no one will be doing much living either.

    • Goldenfaber says:

      08:38pm | 24/06/11

      I have lived in a world of holidays where you take a few days here and there and never go away. Terrible. To plan a trip interstate or overseas (i live in Adelaide) gives you something to look forward to and to get away from housework etc. and see another city is an unbeatable experience. May the skies be filled with jets forever.
      I just can’t decide whether it is Canada or Europe next…...

    • Lesley Laurel says:

      09:52pm | 24/06/11

      If the ash cloud never leaves, aircraft travel is abolished.
      Welcome to the boats, the seas, the roads and walking

 

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