The Prime Minister has his mojo back on the domestic front thanks to some Kevin07-style plain-speaking and a victorious health debate. Now it is time for him to strut his stuff on the world stage and become an “arse-kicking Prime Minister”, starting with China.

A lot has been written about acting and politics in the last few weeks since Opposition Leader Tony Abbott turned down acting lessons. In my favourite movie Love Actually there is a famous scene involving the heartthrob British Prime Minister played by Hugh Grant. Annoyed by a misogynist American President he stands up to him for taking advantage of their bilateral friendship.

“I love that word relationship,” the Prime Minister begins, with his beautiful admirer of a secretary Natalie walking in on the press conference.

“Covers all manner of sins doesn’t it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship; a relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those that really matter to, erm… Britain”.

Hugh Grant’s character then in his trademark, suave-yet-satirical way, rattles off the reasons that make Britain a great country vowing to stand up to a bully President.

Later in the movie, a radio announcer describes him as an “arse kicking Prime Minister” for his efforts, which is what inspires his infamous dance scene through Number 10.

Putting aside the fact that based on Rudd’s treatment of air-hostesses and the demands on his staff none of his secretaries are likely to be swooning for him, there are some important lessons our own Prime Minister can take from this.

First and foremost, that we need to stand up to our own bully in China.

When former Rio Tinto executive Stern Hu was sentenced last week to ten years in prison for bribery it surely should have been the last straw in our ‘softly softly’ approach to the communist power.

The perplexing reality of the Hu case is that as he marches off to prison for receiving bribes, no one in China has been charged or even seriously pursued for soliciting them.

But this is just one more instance of China taking advantage of what many thought would become a “very special relationship” with the election of a Sinophile Rudd in 2007.

Instead our relationship with China has gone backwards, as it seeks to exert itself more powerfully on the world stage with little regard for its closest friends. Many debate whether this is a sign of a growing self-confidence on the part of Beijing or an increasing apprehension about the future.

It is all part of China’s doctrine of “soft power” outlined by Joshua Kurlantzick in his book The Charm Offensive: How China’s Soft Power is Transforming the World, which Rudd presented to President Bush when he was still Opposition Leader in 2007.

China’s recalcitrant behaviour at Copenhagen was widely reported and its constant protests surrounding the Dalai Lama’s travels border on the absurd. Last month, it was also reported that the Rudd Government had a secret understanding with Beijing that no minister would travel to Taiwan during its first term. The Chinese Foreign Ministry even chastised Rudd last week for expressing his desire for increased transparency in the Hu case and access for consular officials in line with a 1999 bilateral agreement.

The question is what has Australia gained through its policy of appeasement?

The Prime Minister has been putting off raising these issues with the Chinese President Hu Jintao until the June meeting of the G20 in Canada, but the situation has become too dire.

With the confirmation late last week that the Chinese President will travel to the US next week for a nuclear summit, there has been increasing pressure on Rudd this week to also attend. The Summit’s rescheduling means it no longer coincides with the all important COAG meeting on health, and President Obama’s cancelled trip last month means there is all the more reason for Rudd to attend.

This should be followed up with a straight talking visit to China later in the year.

Rudd is already likely to visit the Shanghai World Expo at some point, probably around November when the G20 meets again in Seoul and APEC in Japan. Unfortunately given our relations with the Japanese are edgy means a visit is unlikely to occur before the APEC gathering to give equal time to both countries.

But when that moment finally arrives it is time for Kevin Rudd to take a leaf out of Hugh Grant’s script and become an “arse kicking Prime Minister”.

Perhaps it could go something like this: We may be a small country, but we’re a great one, too. The country of Vegemite, Robert Menzies, the Wiggles, Hugh Jackman, the Crocodile Hunter, Shane Warne’s right arm. Shane Warne’s left arm for texting, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.

In return, it is time for China to show us just a little bit of love, actually.

Thom Woodroofe, 20, is the Young Victorian of the Year and founder of Left Right Think-Tank. He was recently recognised as one of Asia’s most influential young people. Email him on thomwoodroofe[at]gmail.com or follow him on Twitter @thomwoodroofe

Most commented

35 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Brad Coward says:

      02:40pm | 09/04/10

      Rudd stand up to China ?  I doubt that he’d stand up in order to lose his lap !

    • Jack Thomas says:

      03:46pm | 09/04/10

      I think you’re more likely to see a Little Britain moment, with the sycophantic gay staffer to the PM, than Hugh Grant.

      You do realise that Love Actually was just a movie, and a really sh1te one at that?

      Please pass this on to all the ALP staffers and other assorted journo’s still soppy in love with Kevin.

      Kevin is weak when it matters. Look at Tibet, Stern Hu, Defence Minister Fitzgibbon. Look next door and the Japanese whalers. Look at Israel’s hit on the Hamas terrorist in Dubai.

      Any idea about Kevin Rudd actually standing up to another country is pure fantasy. I can see where you get the link to Love Actually.

      He only turns on those who can’t talk back, like air hostesses and staffers.

      He’s a beaurocrat who’s punching way beyond his weight and we’re only just now finding out.

    • Scot says:

      11:46am | 10/04/10

      Thom, What a fool you are. i have read your “credentials” Instead of blowing off at the side of your mouth what you need to do is go to China and see what China has achieved and why Australia has benefited from this. You also need to see why they are a becoming a global power. Hu and his colleagues are doing time because they where corrupt. China is tough on such people and even tougher on their own, when it comes to being caught with your hand in the honey jar. But you do not know this as you have not done your home work, you right some “sensational rubbish”. When it some to crime in Australia it has been dumbed down, just like the education system. You see the world through your rose coloured glasses.  I support the actions that China has been taking in the past 60 years to feed and house its people and bring a better life to all. As for Rudd Labor, well that is another matter. Rudd knows not to interfere in China’s internal affairs.

    • Mark says:

      02:33pm | 09/04/10

      Will not happen.

      He is a coward when it comes to actually doing something that offends and/or hurts.

      If he raised a voice at China he would merely be laughed at. Nice sentiment though son. When you get old and cranky like me you will come to see how weak we actually are in the scheme of international politics. We are tolerated not feared.

      I make no apology about saying it either and declare war on inaction.

      So there - that will fix it.

    • Robert Smissen of God's Own Country, Rural SA says:

      11:38am | 10/04/10

      Mark yo are right, Little Kevvy will only monster people without power, like stewardesses or minor minions, China will just remind him that they hold the morgage on Oz because the little toady gave it to them for a pittance.

    • Anthony says:

      03:18pm | 09/04/10

      Kevin got his mojo back! Have you read the headlines today? Yet another policy back flip and his health plan getting CPR. If this is our PM firing on all cylinders then China must be saying Hu is Australia(n)?

    • Mavis says:

      03:24pm | 09/04/10

      Yoof. Ain’t it grand?

      Well sonny, you might be"recently recognised as one of Asia’s most influential young people” and I bet your Mum’s proud. However, Rudd sure ain’t. Why don’t you go over there and sock-it-to-them.

    • Zeta says:

      03:15pm | 09/04/10

      ...your favourite movie is Love Actually? That offends every other movie ever made. It’s like saying your favourite food is I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Or your favourite song is an ad jingle. I’m sure you raised some very good points if I could have been bothered reading the article, but who is going to take them seriously from a guy whose favourite film nearly ruined the career of Liam Neeson and starred the nonce from My Family with the strange head?

      Even if you’ve a penchant for saccharine Richard Curtis comedy, there are betters ones you could reference with an eye toward geo-political comparison. Take the Vicar of Dibley, Julie Gillard is much like a female priest moving to a village full of idiots. Blackadder, a small, angry, neurotic man with delusions of grandeur bumbles his way through history. Could describe any chapter of Australian history you want, including every single NRL season and every election since Fraser. Bridget Joness Diary, an unattractive woman reminds us how unattractive she is for 90 minutes until we accidently find her attractive because she’s the only woman on the screen - it’s the story of the NSW ALP the article writes itself.

      So maybe you should have hooked your article using a film that actually relates to China. Like one of those ones with Chinese people in it. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - it couldn’t be a sinophobic op ed without a reference to that. Maybe a reference to Western / Owen Wilson / Jackie Chan comedic vehicle Shanghai Noon?

      I’m left wondering, you having made the dubious connection between Love Actually and Austro-Chinese relations, were you not also the person who concoted the plot to Hot Tub Time Machine whilst smoking opium? Just wondering.

    • Mark Young says:

      04:05pm | 09/04/10

      I cannot agree with you more. Love Actually? Your favourite movie? Is your favourite car the Hyundai Excel? Is your favourite colour Beige? Fav font times New Roman?

    • Mark says:

      05:03pm | 09/04/10

      Hey step back from Times New Roman mate or there will be trouble.

      Bet you are on of those Comic Sans lovers…grrrrrrrrr. All that loopiness makes me want to start drinking again.

    • Brad Coward says:

      05:22pm | 09/04/10

      Zeta….you are bloody brilliant !  I have to admit that when it comes to your comments I’m a touch sycophantic !

    • tinny tin-tin says:

      10:06pm | 09/04/10

      I reckon Zeta is a double agent…....

      ......a writer masquarading as a blogger would-be-writer

    • Wirewolf says:

      03:29pm | 09/04/10

      The relationship between Australia and China is one of convenience and mutual exploitation, not friendship or common interest. Unfortunately, Australia is much more economically dependent on China than they are on us.  Ergo, they know they can do what they like and we can’t do a damned thing about it because we need them more than they need us. As a result, Rudd in on a hiding to nothing because he is trying to negotiate from a position of weakness. We simply need to accept that China doesn’t care in the slightest about us, and we should disabuse ourselves of the idea that we can influence them in anyway. All we can do is keep our heads down and profit from the relationship as best we can while avoiding unnecessary arguments that will achieve nothing.

    • Morgan says:

      03:24pm | 09/04/10

      I agree that it definitely needs to happen, though doubtful it will occur.

    • Henry says:

      03:39pm | 09/04/10

      If anyone knows anything about China and the Chinese it is that they do not respect authority if that person is fat.

      Kevin Rudd is obese.  He cuts a shocking figure on the world stage visually and the Chinese have a HUGE problem with this.  To add to this he is seen as being two faced and weak which means his credibility in Asia is zero and can only be rectified by having a new leader.

      Rudd is a lame duck in Asia.  A corpse floating in a stagnant pond with a rusted on creep-smile and crazy eyes.

    • Mick In The Hills says:

      04:13pm | 09/04/10

      Yeah, but he keeps his hair neat.  Well, mostly.

    • Henry says:

      04:24pm | 09/04/10

      Mick.  True it is beautifully combed and blow dried.  Trouble is he does it TOO well.

      The Chinese believe he wears a rug.  This is a cardinal sin in China.

    • Gerard says:

      04:32pm | 09/04/10

      ... and his ear wax groomed.

    • Scot says:

      12:09pm | 10/04/10

      Rudd, Level three public servant in the foreign office in Beijing for three years learning Mandarin paid for by tax payers. China will have large file on him. Would make interesting reading. Now his kids are there, one can see what his priorities are, (family first)?

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      04:11pm | 09/04/10

      No, no, no. wrong approach. You say nothing or better yet smile and nod your head at whatever China says. All the while you’re making small legislative changes that adversely affect China. Nothing obvious and nothing they can directly point a finger at. Something like quality control or consumer safety etc. The way China does. They’ll say any BS that they think westerners want to hear all the while acting against the west and disregarding interrnational law or bilateral agreements. It’s a new cold war son and a different one.

    • krangsquared says:

      04:02pm | 09/04/10

      I read “Hugh Grant moment” and immedately thought “Divine Brown”.  Getting caught with a prostitute never does any good to one’s poll ratings.

      @Henry so you mean to imply that The Abbott’s sinewy physique shall help us regain our sterling authority in Asia?  Intriguing…

    • acker says:

      04:27pm | 09/04/10

      Forget wasting money bulding crappy submarines that break down and we cannot staff…...we have uranium lets mine it put it in some missiles. Why continue with the expensive figleaf of Kim Beasley’s crappy subs ? lets get some nukes wink 100% made in Australia..

    • Wayne Fehlhaber says:

      06:41pm | 09/04/10

      Rudd ??  Become an arse kicking Prime minister ????
      Heh heh heh I’d like to see that !  The Chinese would take him out to the nearest parking lot and shoot him .  Probably send Australia a bill for the bullet as well. Safer to invite the Chinese President here and feed him up with dim sums and peking duck , thenadvise him that the price of coal and iron ore is going up.

    • Serious says:

      07:04pm | 09/04/10

      I recall that when Rudd spoke in Mandarin to a group of Chinese students some time ago telling them that it was necessary for a country to defend human rights he was roundly condemned by many conservatives in this country for being full of himself.  Now we are told he should be ‘standing up’ to the Chinese.  Get real!  With the exception of the likes of George Bush national leaders don’t normally play macho in public (and that really worked for the world didn’t it? Two wars neither of which the US won or has any hope of winning).  Although, come to think of it , posting the RAN off the coast of China should bring the Chinese to heel pretty quickly.

    • Doug Kotter says:

      07:38pm | 09/04/10

      Well, if “the question is what has Australia gained through its policy of appeasement?” then the answer is pretty bloody obvious isn’t it?

      You remember that economic downturn/recession/call-it-what-you-will that the rest of the world had, yet conveniently by-passed Australia? Yeah - that’s what we got. And anyone who suggests that Australia is not better off by keeping our economy strong by fostering a strong relationship with a super-power that’s not a fading shadow of it’s former self, is quite frankly, a moron.

    • Hugo Leith says:

      11:58pm | 09/04/10

      The key argument of this piece - that the Rudd government has not represented its views to China forcefully enough - does not take account of the representations made privately, in diplomatic channels, to the Chinese. Just because the author doesn’t get to see what Stephen Smith and Kevin Rudd say to Hu Jintao doesn’t mean that it isn’t said at all. 

      To illustrate the folly of the megaphone diplomacy (or what the author describes as “straight talking”) advocated here with a hypothetical. Let’s say that the Government were to publicly argue that the trial of Stern Hu was grossly unjust, that he had been set up, and that he should be released forthwith. Or that he should have been released and repatriated before his trial. We can be absolutely certain that the Chinese response would be to defend its internal processes against what it would style foreign interference in its domestic affairs, and that Stern Hu would remain in custody. And, to top it off, we would have an impasse and a crisis in relations, stopping us from discussing other issues on which constructive cooperation is required.

      If Australia is to do business with China, it will have to accept that the Chinese government will defend what it perceives to be its interests within its borders. Therefore, the author’s statement that Stern Hu’s trial was an instance of China taking advantage of its relationship with Australia, or that this was ‘appeasement’, is deeply confused. There are definitely occasions for our government to reflect publicly on problems in its relationship with China or any other country, and even to condemn the actions of foreign states with whom we have important trading or strategic links, but foreign relations are fundamentally about interests. It is not some grandiose school debating competition in which the force our argument will somehow persuade them to do things as we’d like.

    • stephen says:

      03:41am | 10/04/10

      China is a very proud nation, and she is keen to show us all what she can do. Well, she certainly has done that, at least economically.
      But China’s making political mistakes now. Quite apart from Nth Korea, she’s trading with Middle East nations, two of which are on the wrong side of reasonable. (Political, cause she’s a permanent member of the UN Security Council).
      I think Kevin Rudd is doing fine here ; he can’t do anything to jeopardize our trade, but he can wait until certain large trading partners with China bring heavy pressure to bear. Such political pressure will, I believe, seriously damage China’s pride, and her behaviour, internationally, will alter.
      Chna is not part of our world yet, and we should all look forward to her joining us.

    • Brett L says:

      04:16am | 10/04/10

      In my mind I have no doubt Kevin Rudd is spineless and regards his political positioning more important than the aspirations of ordinary Australians. But as a business man dealing with the Chinese for the last 15 years there is a unique way to deal with them. Being forceful or threatening to them just doesn’t work. It is much more effective to negotiate on a respectful win / win basis. The Chinese do actually like to be accommodating and helpful, but you gotta ask in the right way and pay attention to some of the more respectful social graces. Just remember 90% of what you buy today will come from China.

    • Brett L says:

      04:16am | 10/04/10

      Oh, if I may, I forgot to mention something: Stern Hu, lets not forget he pleaded guilty to bribery charges and corruption (even to Rio Tinto he admitted it). He knew what the consequences would be. I don’t think it is our place to force our soft justice ideals on the Chinese. In any case Mr Hu is playing the respectful game by not appealing his sentence. This will go a lot further for him for early release than bringing more media attention on the Chinese legal system by appealing their respected judicial decisions. And to the author, as you get older and wiser you learn there are more ways than one to skin a cat.

    • Mikey says:

      08:34am | 10/04/10

      I’m not so sure we couldn’t stand up to them. I just think nobody has really tried yet. Probably for the better but I’m not so sure if we would really have no chance. The central Chinese government isn’t the seven-headed, all-controlling hydra people seem to think it is, it’s weaker and less organised than many think. I think the Chinese just know they have a couple of aces up their sleeve and know how to intimidate with thinly-veiled threats at the right time to make everyone back off, and they demand to be shown face and the rest of it and we routinely fall for it. But I’d like to see someone eventually stand up them. I think the US probably eventually will have to, with their faltering economy and the whole ‘free’ trade thing not quite working out so well.

    • Ziggy says:

      01:39pm | 10/04/10

      Nobody needs Hugh Grant.

    • Ray says:

      07:06pm | 10/04/10

      It is very easy to talk the big talk. It is far less easy when the target is one that you need to sell to, far, far greater than your need to buy from. For the record, I do agree largely with your stance on the China issue, but I hardly think it is as simplistic as your make it out to be.

    • Robert Smissen of God's Own Country, Rural SA says:

      12:27am | 11/04/10

      Offering appeasement to China a proven winner, just look what happened in the 1930s when the then British PM Neville Chamberlain tried to appease Hitler it worked then didn’t it? ? ? NOT! !

    • stephen says:

      07:22pm | 11/04/10

      Yeah, yer right about God’s Own Country there, but the appeasement is wrong because the problem is ‘wrong’.
      China’s no threat, though she has the completely wrong view to Capitalism.
      This will need fixing ; perhaps our Prime Minister can help ?

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Malcolm Farr

@katedoak Love the 'gay click' reference. Sadly my comment wasn't good enough to be recorded.

Daniel Piotrowski

RT @newscomauHQ: Blackberry. Levis. Sony. @sarahmichael24 reports why brands are cool one minute, and cold the next. | http://t.co/3KJHXkVG

ToryShepherd

RT @attardmon: Voting intentions of a small sample of journalists turns assumptions upside down. http://t.co/sL9fPXuU85 Interesting.

Malcolm Farr

“@markatextor: View from my new Crosby|Textor office. http://t.co/mTMUkovBal” Those blinds have got to go.

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter