So banking is like bananas.  And facing a storm like the tragic one in Queensland a few years back that hit banana growers hard.  Or so says the following Westpac video.

Some people think it was silly.  Condescending, even.  Maybe they think a disaster caused by banks isn’t the same as one caused by nature.
Me, I don’t think it’s silly. Like Forrest Gump said, life is like a box of chocolates.  Except now it’s like a banana smoothie.

If you’re a Westpac big-wig, buying a house is just like buying a smoothie.  Chump change.  So stop being so judgmental.  Just because you didn’t hike mortgage rates by twice the RBA rate and get a $2.6 million bonus doesn’t mean nobody did.
Say, Gail Kelly.  Westpac CEO. She’s practically a plantation worker.
And like plantations, Westpac got government support during the storm.  Sure, it killed off some of the small players.  And created a banana cartel.  If that’s not Australian banking, what is?
So lay off Westpac.  Like the video says, they’re actually helping you by helping them.
When banana smoothies went through the roof - 50 cents more! - you didn’t hear me complaining.
Because I knew what was good for bananas was good for me.
The great smoothie shortage made me proud to be Australian, actually. I practically felt like B1. And that’s the way I feel now.
So smarten up, Australia.  And be glad banking isn’t like some other profiteering enterprise …sending jobs off-shore, giving workers measly raises, troughing it with billion-dollar profits, mucking up the global economy.
That’s what I took from Westpac’s lesson in banking gone bananas.  A storm is a storm.  Natural, greed-caused, it’s no matter.  A victim is a victim.  So dig deep and help.

Most commented

18 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • SLF says:

      03:11pm | 09/12/09

      I have a westpac mortgage and was not offended by it.

      I am merely thankful that their profit margin is not the same as the people who take 2 bannanas, some cheap yogurt, milk and ice and charge $4.50 for it.

      That is highway robbery, a slightly more expensive mortgage really isnt.

    • Matt says:

      03:34pm | 09/12/09

      Hmm SLF… 20 basis points (Westpac’s margin over the RBA rise) over 30 years based on a $300,000 mortgage adds up to about $14,000.  That’s a lot of banana smoothies.  Over 3,000 in fact

    • Lach says:

      04:12pm | 09/12/09

      The banks will always earn a good profit, either its through speads on loans or fees on accounts. Recently banks cut their fees (dishonours etc.) but increased their spreads, does it really matter which way around?

      The big 4 cartel is really a regulatory failure. The big 4 policy is just as much about keeping a maximum of 4 big banks as well as a minimum. Relaxing onerous reporting and regulatory requirements for the banking sector will reduce barriers to entry and allow new competitors to thrive.

    • AJ says:

      05:04pm | 09/12/09

      Westpac, and to a lesser extent, the other banks, are trying to pull a bit of a con job here.  They’ve claimed for years that the margins on their loans above and beyond the RBA rates included ‘rainy day’ funds for the bad years that they know that the economy occasionally has.  Now that they’re actually having a bad year, instead of accepting that they should dig into the rainy day fund to sustain relatively affordable rate differentials, they’re claiming they need to gouge mortgage-holders and small business for more.

      This represents a failing of their understanding of their role in the economy.  If a banana smoothie salesman jacks up prices, there aren’t many flow-on affects.  If Westpac restricts the flow of money into the economy in order to pad their own profits, it has large and negative effects on growth and sustainability.

      The failure of both major parties is the perpetration of lack of competition.

    • sue says:

      05:07pm | 09/12/09

      If it is all about Bananas and smoothies, then perhaps Janine Allis should be running Westpac instead of Gail Kelly!

    • eno says:

      07:10pm | 09/12/09

      I’m a Westpac customer - I’m moving to someone with more scruples. I wonder if there is one?

    • Bateman says:

      07:23pm | 09/12/09

      Wow. You mean a private company decided to price it’s product in order to generate a profit for themselves?!

      I thought they were a charity helping the poor unfortunate and great unwashed to buy a McMansion in a noice sbuburb and then pay for their extensions, plasmas, new kitchen and holiday.

      </sarcasm>

    • warb says:

      09:41pm | 09/12/09

      so, when there is a shortage of bananas the price goes up real fast…. however back in the day, there where lots of bananas, and when even more bananas came on the market, the price was still high…. hmmmm, so they pass on the rise fast, and yet take their seet god damn time to pass on the savings…. this is all BS spin from the bank and your a moron to believe it..

    • Sullivan Beare says:

      06:48am | 10/12/09

      Right on Bateman, hell, there is choice out there people, if you are unhappy, then get off your fat ...and take the time to get a better deal. Banks are a profit making business - You think any of them would take Wayne seriously! Sweet Lord - making him the Treasurer would be like employing a welder to design Sydney Harbour bridge. He, and the rest of that tribe just dont seem to get it. These people employ people, they have investors, they facilitate growth etc etc
      We have choice, use it, it just takes effort - where is it written you have to stick with the same mortgage your whole life (sure understand get out fees etc), look at your options, think it over, get advice…..and then make an informed adult decision. A hard task for the welfare mentality of too many in this country. This is why you have Rudd/Wong/Swan etc, you were hoping to live in a dream fairy land where everything was handed to you. Do any remember the financial position of Australian households under Johnny? You voted these clowns in, get used to being poor, that is how they want you - so they can look after you! Lucky us.

    • COF says:

      08:03am | 10/12/09

      “Right on Bateman, hell, there is choice out there people, if you are unhappy, then get off your fat ...and take the time to get a better deal.”

      Not as easy as that Sullivan - even with Westpac’s money grabbing interest rate rise it will not be worth it for people to change as they won’t be able to cover the break costs. If you got rid of break costs and other anti competitive fee measures that the banks love to slap on their already suffering customers, then we would have a quality loan market.

      As for the rest of your infantile political rant, I think its at least a good thing that you are not in government. If you are so self absorbed that you can’t respect your fellow citizens, how can you command respect with your comments?

    • Liz says:

      08:56am | 10/12/09

      I don’t remember the banana growers manufacturing a cyclone.

    • Banana Muffin says:

      09:37am | 10/12/09

      Gail Kelly needs a quiet roar at her PR Department; and a slap on the wrist for allowing the banana thing to be released!
      If she approved of it, maybe it’s time for her to ‘spend more time with the family’ or ‘pursue other exciting opportunities’!

    • James says:

      11:59am | 10/12/09

      Forget banks - anyone who uses a bank is a sucker.  Try a credit union instead.

    • Vivian says:

      12:23pm | 10/12/09

      Look on the bright side - if it wasn’t for Westpac, multi-millionaire St Kevin would not have been able to grandstand with faux concern on the evening news.

      And OMG, he might then have been asked some real questions about the Copenhagen folly, and how most of the very well fed G77 spielers want to multiply their already loaded Swiss bank accounts.

    • Iva Tarbell says:

      01:50pm | 10/12/09

      With such muddleheaded advertising, which has damaged Westpac’s brand, its clear that Westpac need to have a close look at their remuneration policies. As they say, “if you pay peanuts you get monkeys”.

      Now if Westpac could up the remuneration to their senior executives, to attract greater talent, clearly such brand damaging muddleheaded advertising would not take place.

    • Greg says:

      04:31pm | 10/12/09

      Im a Westpac customer and will be looking around for options, Im not offended by the add, as other banks might have bananas at at better rate. If you dont like them move. In saying this we do need more options for banking as the big 4 cartel do call the shots.

    • Krys says:

      04:06pm | 11/12/09

      This article is ridiculous! Okay I get the price of money has gone up so costs need to be passed on but hey - Westpac still made billions in profit last FY. And they did have to let some ppl go. This “a victim is a victim” and “dig deep business” is pushing it. We have to feel sorry for the banks now?! BTW banking is a profiteering enterprise…

    • BlancaRichard27 says:

      10:11am | 16/11/11

      The loans seem to be very useful for people, which are willing to organize their organization. By the way, that’s not very hard to get a collateral loan.

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Daniel Piotrowski

RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi

tory_maguire

RT @adamroy37: Just received a phone call from a young girl apologizing for her actions. Lets support her please #racismitstopswithme#Indi

Daniel Piotrowski

Australia. Where you die for your country and get a rest area named after you http://t.co/hO6LpfwDvI

ToryShepherd

@benpobjie @jessadamson7 @jhwakelin kinda creepy from a high school cheerleader #misheardlyrics

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter