Westpac: Yes, we have no bananas
So banking is like bananas. And facing a storm like the tragic one in Queensland a few years back that hit banana growers hard. Or so says the following Westpac video.
Some people think it was silly. Condescending, even. Maybe they think a disaster caused by banks isn’t the same as one caused by nature.
Me, I don’t think it’s silly. Like Forrest Gump said, life is like a box of chocolates. Except now it’s like a banana smoothie.
If you’re a Westpac big-wig, buying a house is just like buying a smoothie. Chump change. So stop being so judgmental. Just because you didn’t hike mortgage rates by twice the RBA rate and get a $2.6 million bonus doesn’t mean nobody did.
Say, Gail Kelly. Westpac CEO. She’s practically a plantation worker.
And like plantations, Westpac got government support during the storm. Sure, it killed off some of the small players. And created a banana cartel. If that’s not Australian banking, what is?
So lay off Westpac. Like the video says, they’re actually helping you by helping them.
When banana smoothies went through the roof - 50 cents more! - you didn’t hear me complaining.
Because I knew what was good for bananas was good for me.
The great smoothie shortage made me proud to be Australian, actually. I practically felt like B1. And that’s the way I feel now.
So smarten up, Australia. And be glad banking isn’t like some other profiteering enterprise …sending jobs off-shore, giving workers measly raises, troughing it with billion-dollar profits, mucking up the global economy.
That’s what I took from Westpac’s lesson in banking gone bananas. A storm is a storm. Natural, greed-caused, it’s no matter. A victim is a victim. So dig deep and help.
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