There’s been some buzz around a recent article in New York magazine titled: ‘All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting’. The cover of the publication shows a mother holding her baby with the cover line ‘I Love My Children.  I Hate My Life’.

These modern-day torture harnesses are strapped around the victims, with an actual live baby inserted in the front.

The author Jennifer Senior (a mother herself) explores a wide range of research on parenting and reports that it overwhelmingly supports the view that parents are not happier than their childless peers, and in many cases, are less so.

She writes about the changing views of childhood in Western society, arguing that before urbanisation, children delivered their parents an economic advantage that’s no longer evident:
‘If you had a farm, they toiled alongside you to maintain its upkeep; if you had a family business, the kids helped mind the store.  But … as we gained in prosperity, childhood came increasingly to be viewed as a protected, privileged time, and once college degrees became essential to getting ahead, children became not only a great expense but subjects to be sculpted, stimulated, instructed, groomed … kids in short went from being our staffs to being our bosses.’

Unsurprisingly, the article’s been controversial.  The Atlantic’s response was titled ‘Parenting Makes People Miserable.  What Else is New?’  In the blogosphere, some writers asked why all the happy parents aren’t speaking up.  Christian bloggers argued the original article was an alarming sign of the times.  In response to some other recent articles about the downsides of parenting, Australian blogger Mia Freedman invited her readers to share what they love about having children.

It’s an interesting debate, worth a look, and it features in this fortnight’s list of ten things to read, watch or listen to:

The article from New York where it started:  ‘All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting’

Here’s the reaction from Vanity Fair and The Atlantic

For a sample of reaction outside the mainstream media, try Mama Drama, The Cross Timbers Gazette and Mia Freedman’s blog Mama Mia. Julia Baird in Newsweek argues that women should stop fretting about what makes a ‘good’ mother.

This New York Times story about a gravely wounded soldier and his family is one of the best pieces of journalism I’ve read all year.  If you only read one thing here today, choose this. (via @mfullilove on twitter)

Here’s what happens when you ask a graphic designer to come up with a poster for your missing cat.

The singer, Jewell, goes undercover at a karaoke bar.  See how the crowd reacts to the nerdy looking ‘Karen’.

If you watch The Gruen Transfer, you would have seen this award-winning advertisement for Old Spice. The company has taken the campaign to a new level, showing sophisticated understanding of social media by having the Old Spice Man respond via video to individual comments and questions on twitter and facebook. The blog Mumbrella has a great summary. One of the funniest answers went to the American political journalist, George Stephanopoulos, who asked if the Old Spice Man had any advice for the White House.

Reason Magazine fact checks the highly influential Fox News commentator Glenn Beck and finds him lacking. 

A fascinating piece by my colleague Mark Colvin (@colvinius on twitter) about the effect the internet is having on our lives and brains. HYPERLINK ““http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/07/2946631.htm?site=thedrum

Mark Twain wanted his autobiography published 100 years after his death.  It’s about to come out.

- Leigh Sales anchors Lateline on ABC1 and is on twitter @leighsales

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19 comments

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    • Adam Diver says:

      09:34am | 16/07/10

      Having children is like taking on a second full-time job. The rewards are great but the sacrifices are huge.

      I think having kids makes you somewhat bi-polar. Suddenly you have much more lows and much higher highs.

    • Jack P says:

      10:22am | 16/07/10

      This makes coming into work on Friday worthwhile.

      Keep up the good work Leigh.

    • howy says:

      10:26am | 16/07/10

      If women saw their kids as a gift from God, then I believe they’d cope better with the struggles of being a parent.

      There is no rational reason to have children - so as we become more secular we also lose our capacity to sustain our civilisation. This is why the religious always prosper and the atheists never get anywhere.

      There is no future in a fully secular society, because the motivation for having children lies in the spiritual realm. Look around, every secular society is dying out and either being supported by mass immigartion, rapidly expanded Muslim communities, or is an authoritarian dictatorship.

    • Baal says:

      11:22am | 16/07/10

      Howy
      You can be spiritual and be a nontheist secular humanist. I have very core beliefs and a loving children whom I love. I simply think that commiting to children is a big deal and people in the secular world are being responsible by not having children they do not wish to commit to.

    • DJ says:

      03:11pm | 16/07/10

      Utter rubbish howy, there is no evidence to back up that stupid statement

    • Dee says:

      10:34am | 16/07/10

      New parents look for any opportunity to complain about how hard parenting life is - esp to those without children, who just wouldn’t understand.

      Are parents still not happy with all the baby bonus’s, tax rebates and family allowances??  Those unable to have children are now not only missing out on the joys of parenting - they are paying for others..

    • rick says:

      10:40am | 16/07/10

      Yes howy - it’s called natural selection. Thank God those who don’t want to have kids, automatically stop their line of existence! The problem would be if they were acutally having kids and teaching them their (un-)values!

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      11:00am | 16/07/10

      That’s okay Rick, with our high disposable income we’ll just go out and enjoy life. With 3 Billion humans on the planet I don’t think that our species is in any danger of extinction, although you are probably condemning your grandchildren to a world of overpopulation, severe environmental stress and poverty, it’s not singles and childless couples problem. By the way natural selection doesn’t apply in a welfare state since resources are transferred from the more able to the less able which is counter-evolutionary

    • bella starkey says:

      03:59pm | 16/07/10

      If there are only 3 billion people on the planet left then there is something seriously bad going down

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      05:20pm | 16/07/10

      There’s more than 3 Billion? Damn it’s so hard to keep up these days with humans breeding like rabbits…..

    • Andy D says:

      11:05am | 16/07/10

      Not totally on topic, but I really liked Jeremy Clarkson’s analogy on a recent episode of Top Gear. Describing the Maserati Quattroporte he said “Owning this car is like owning a 2 year old child, it’s really annoying for a lot of the time but if someone tries to take it away from you you’d kill them”.

      As an owner of a 2 year old child I totally agree (and I really want a Maserati Quattroporte now too).

    • Jenni says:

      12:57pm | 16/07/10

      LOL I haven’t seen that particular episode Andy D - pure Clarkson at his best =D

    • Jenni says:

      12:55pm | 16/07/10

      Love your work as always - that piece on the US infantryman in particular was incredible!

    • DD Ball says:

      02:28pm | 16/07/10

      Children are a blessing and joys follow such. But some don’t know what blessings are. Blessings aren’t cash deposits. Neither are they necessarily job promotions .. sometimes those are called a poisoned chalice. Blessings are not necessarily long lives or short ones. You can’t always get them by trade. They can’t be regulated by government. Beautiful people have no more blessings than those who are blessed ugly. Note, if you swap the word Children with Blessings you’ll note the same. But to those who are thankful. To those who serve out of love, and not merely for reward. Blessings are .. priceless.
      I despise the Chinese Mainland government for limiting children to their people. I am not impressed by Gillard’s giving ‘em a uniform.

    • DJ says:

      03:21pm | 16/07/10

      DD - they did that to regulate the population as they were overpopulating (breeding like rabbits) what else were they meant to do?

    • DD Ball says:

      10:19pm | 16/07/10

      DJ, no you got it wrong, they did not do that to regulate the population. They did that to control those that cared about such things. The result will be worse than overpopulation. Now there is a population imbalance between males and females .. hundreds of millions more males than females. That is a planning disaster worse than anything Rudd did.

    • DJ says:

      11:14am | 19/07/10

      DD - that’s why they export them lol

    • Robert Smissen Rural SA says:

      12:05am | 17/07/10

      I have 4 children from my gen X daughter to my gen Z youngest son & I still don’t understand what is so hard about being a parent, people have been doing it for millions of years. If you expext it not to change your single/couples life you are wrong put if it isn’t a positive experience then you are obviously doing it wrong

 

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