Let the navel-gazing and chin-scratching hereby cease. And let the BBQ’ing commence.

When ya gotta low, ya gotta low. Pic: Adam Taylor

Actually, that’s a fair old discussion point. How do you spell BBQ? Our in-house News Ltd style guide says it’s barbecue, not barbeque, never B-B-Q and only BBQ when used in headlines.

Which of god’s beasts are you sizzling today? What else is burning you up this weekend? Oh, and got a better caption suggestion for the pic above?

Comments on this post will close at 6pm Saturday and open again Sunday morning till 6pm Sunday

Most commented

73 comments

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    • dools1 says:

      04:52am | 26/01/13

      Wow im up way too early for our nationsl day. Enjoy the day your own way grin

    • dools1 says:

      04:55am | 26/01/13

      Oh and im eating all 3 food groups, lamb, beef and beer.

    • nihonin says:

      05:10am | 26/01/13

      To all my fellow Punchers, I say, have a fantastic Australia Day (no matter what it may mean to you, just enjoy your day) and long weekend, party, mingle, eat and drink…......most of all, stay safe.

    • Philosopher says:

      06:54am | 26/01/13

      No-one says ‘barbecue’ unless they are firing up the new Weber in Vaucluse for sweet chilli sausages and tabouli. It’s ‘barby’. ‘Barbie’ is also acceptable, as in ‘that’s a smokin’ hot barbie.’

    • stephen says:

      09:59am | 26/01/13

      You got the ‘barbie’ bit right.
      Now what about the tabouli ?

    • TheRealDave says:

      11:37am | 26/01/13

      Barbee is also kosher

    • Chillin says:

      07:29am | 26/01/13

      I think we need the word ‘sausage’ mentioned more in News Limited stories.  I hope it’s generating advertising revenue.

    • Kerryn says:

      08:04am | 26/01/13

      Australia Day?  I believe I have two bathrooms to clean and a whole lot of washing to do.

      Anyway, I have a friend who is a huge fan of Andy Murray.  I don’t usually watch the tennis, but I decided I’d try something new last night and watched the last three sets.  While I probably won’t watch tennis as religiously as I watch Aussie Rules or Cricket, last nights match was certainly fun and exciting.  Well done Andy!

    • nihonin says:

      08:10am | 26/01/13

      I was out buying meat from the butchers yesterday for the bbq, bit disappointed with the Halal butcher I go to, they didn’t have any Pork Sausages, tried the Kosher butcher next door, no luck there either.  wink  Have a great Day.

    • Philosopher says:

      08:35am | 26/01/13

      you asked for pork sausages from a Halal butcher? I’m surprised you are still alive. Don’t toy with these people, nihonin…

    • craig2 says:

      08:48am | 26/01/13

      Bugger, well, I’ve got all the meat I want and its pouring down, so no BBQ tonight. Also down to play golf at 12.30 and it’s coming in sideways, so I think my day is stuffed no matter what the plans, enjoy!

    • Linda says:

      08:49am | 26/01/13

      You can be funny in Australia. But do not even use the work pig or pork in some muslin countries. It is worse than saying f-ck your mother. Have a great Australia Day.

    • Mouse says:

      09:37am | 26/01/13

      OMG nihonin, you poor thing! Hope there is a Woolies or Coles or Foodland / IGA near you then.  Fancy having an Australia Day with no pork snags!  Don’t tell whathisname you are not having lamb, or he might come ‘round to your place and rip yer bloody arms orf!!  lol ;o)

      ps have a good one anyway   :o)

    • Meat Eater says:

      09:49am | 26/01/13

      I’d strongly recommend this place if you are in Brisbane…

      http://terryorrealsmeats.net.au/

      I don’t think the meat is halal. wink

    • nihonin says:

      10:08am | 26/01/13

      Meat Eater, I use to work across the road from Terry Orreal’s store at Brendale.  I still buy my meat from there (my comment was actually meant as a joke, hence Halal and Kosher).

    • Mickey T says:

      10:51am | 26/01/13

      Stick to your day job nihonin…leave the humour (or lack of) to comedians.

    • Ben says:

      11:00am | 26/01/13

      @Linda

      >But do not even use the work pig or pork in some muslin countries.

      Yes, it can be very destructive to the social fabric…

    • nihonin says:

      11:25am | 26/01/13

      Duly noted Mickey T, one must always listen to their critics.

      As the great Mel Brooks put it in the History of the World Part 1 -

      Critics, the after birth of talent.

    • Philosopher says:

      11:32am | 26/01/13

      haha Ben, you are a funny fellow! Maybe that’s what wen wrong with the revolution in Egypt - the Coptic Christians kept eating pork sausages?

      Mickey T: bit grumpy today?

    • TheRealDave says:

      11:51am | 26/01/13

      because a polite ‘I’m sorry, we don’t sell pork products here, but you can try the butcher down the road or the local woollies’ is unknown to them but grabbing a meat clever and chasing people with intention to cause grave injury comes to their minds first and foremost?

      Someones values may be a little askew….

    • pa_kelvin says:

      03:40pm | 26/01/13

      Ben…. How do you manage to get the work pig away from work??? smile

    • Gregg says:

      08:10am | 26/01/13

      There’ll not be too much open air BBQing going on in large parts of coastal Queensland at least, some half metre drops of rain up here over the past about two days, galing wind gusts at times and now seeming to settle into more of just a relatively wind free drizzle.

      First new Australian signs I’ve seen for the year is a long dangly newborn still in pouch leg of a new Joey soon to join a couple of our resident kangas.
      I might just be able to manage to get the BBQ fired up undercover with some weather improvement.

      Have a good one and lets all feel a little for those having lost greatly in recent fires and those still having to combat them down more southern parts and just on cue the rain just got heavier and I’d send a lot of it down further south a lot quicker if I could.

    • nihonin says:

      08:53am | 26/01/13

      ‘There’ll not be too much open air BBQing going on in large parts of coastal Queensland at least, some half metre drops of rain up here over the past about two days, galing wind gusts at times and now seeming to settle into more of just a relatively wind free drizzle.’

      Steam-be-que Gregg.  That’s what we smart Queenslanders do.  wink

    • Gregg says:

      10:51am | 26/01/13

      I’ve found sausages pretty easy to do in the MW actually nihonin, a local butcher doing some good sorts, chilli and mango.
      Seeing as it has got a bit cooler, I might even crack a red with them.

      Just got to be flexible in enjoying whatever huey gives us is a bit of what being Australian is all about.

    • Mouse says:

      12:55pm | 26/01/13

      Gregg, make sure you prick them first, you don’t want to have to clean up exploded sausages in the microwave!  :o/

    • nihonin says:

      02:33pm | 26/01/13

      I bet you say that to ‘all’ the boys, Mouse.  wink

    • pa_kelvin says:

      04:22pm | 26/01/13

      Pools full, make it stop now…. PLEASE

    • Fed Up says:

      08:47am | 26/01/13

      Caption:

      For the love of god…..i haven’t had my coffee yet….what is that…..

    • Steve says:

      08:55am | 26/01/13

      Happy Race Riot Day to all those Labor pollies and Scottish anarchists. Let the speech that offends be henceforth illegal and may we sue you into silence.

    • Lucky says:

      09:44am | 26/01/13

      A beefy bowel MOOvement not even the portaloo could deter!

    • Trevora says:

      10:01am | 26/01/13

      Tuned into reading Andrew Bolt’s distorted view on life, on the Heraldsun website and got this,
      quote
      I don’t think comments are being moderated today, and after campaigns against me - exploiting restrictions on free speech - it has been deemed safer that I not moderate them myself.

      So I shall do my best to read your comments, but they will not be published.
      end of quote

      At last a happy Bolt free weekend!

    • BBQ crimes in grafton says:

      10:06am | 26/01/13

      Some of my most memorable meal experiences have been centred around the humble barby.  And some of my most forgettable.

      Bogan BBQ’s are without doubt one of the worst culinary experiences on the planet - and they are going to be in full swing today.

      If you’re the sort of bloke that loads up a moderately warm barbie plate with an assortment of steak, chops and snags, then cooks the lot until it assumes the texture of old leather, and then serves up this unholy mess with a salad of cubed cheese, supermarket tomatoes and iceberg lettuce - then you sir are the epitome of the boganhood that I speak of!

      And in spite of Masterchef et al, there’s a disproportionate number of you still out there, commiting these culinary weekend atrocities over and over again.
      Please, please, please stop the madness!

      Now I’m not asking you to rush out and buy a Blumenthal cook book. I’m just saying that a sentient being has died to facilitate your eating pleasure, and I’m begging you to respect this death and treat the said bits of carcass with some respect.
      Not to mention the respect of your fellow diners.

      Have a nice Aussie day lunch. Or not.

    • Dr B S Goh, Australian in Asia says:

      10:25am | 26/01/13

      On this Australia Day we should think of the many really desperate refugees in the World. This includes the hundreds of thousands in Mali and neighbouring countries. See http://edition.cnn.com/2013/01/25/world/africa/mali-unrest/index.html?hpt=hp_t3.

      We also have the hundreds of very desperate Syrian and Rohingya refugees.

      If we have YY billions dollars a year to spare and help refugees in the World it is more logical to spend them on the very desperate among the 10m plus refugees, globally.

      We can do so by not accepting into Australia a single boat people who have hijacked the humane Australian refugee program

    • Gregg says:

      01:19pm | 26/01/13

      You would think that it ought to be easy enough to get plenty of nations within the UN agreeing on how best to spread the UN and member country $$$ on caring for the displaced and curtailing the activities associated with people smuggling.
      It is something that Australia should be giving great impetus to as the place on the security council is activated.

      Something like that will only be achieved if more and more people make such thoughts known to their parliamentary representatives, perhaps an Australia’s day resolution that can be adopted.

    • Matthais says:

      01:39pm | 26/01/13

      “We can do so by not accepting into Australia a single boat people who have hijacked the humane Australian refugee program”

      Being Australia Day, you should be able to pick up a couple of “fuck off we’re full” stickers from a wandering bogan salesman.

      Plaster them all along the coastline, that should sort it out.

      Personally, I think that the boat people are just as desperate as any other refugee - your attitude, Dr, is rather, dare I say, “un-Australian”.

    • Chillin says:

      10:33am | 26/01/13

      The Year 2013

      One sunny day in 2013, an old man approached the Lodge the Canberra residence of Australia’s Prime Minister Julia Gillard. He’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the guard and said,
       
      “I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Julia Gillard.”

      The Guard looked at the man and said, “Sir, Ms Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here.”

      The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

      The following day the same man approached the The Lodge and said to the same Guard,
       
      “I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard.”

      The Guard again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Ms Gillard is no longer Prime Minister and no longer resides here.”

      The man thanked him and again just walked away.

      The third day the same man approached the The Lodge and spoke to the very same Guard, saying, “I would like to go in and meet with Prime Minister Gillard.”

      The Guard, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said,
       
      “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Ms Gillard.
       
      I’ve told you already that Ms Gillard is no longer the Prime Minister and no longer resides here.
       
      Don’t you understand?”

      The old man looked at the Guard and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.”

      The Guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir.

    • BBQin says:

      11:33am | 26/01/13

      Keep hope alive chillin
      It’s all you got.
      Abbott is unelectable !!!

    • Same Same says:

      11:36am | 26/01/13

      Chillin

      Ha! ha!  We can but hope…...

    • Mouse says:

      12:52pm | 26/01/13

      +1 internet chuckle   LOL :oD

    • Aghast says:

      02:18pm | 26/01/13

      That old bloke may well have have been that same one who boastingly predicted” Drinks at Lodge within the year"to the Canberra media.Why does Tony keep digging holes like that…..to look stupid falling into…himself…He is his own worst enemy
      I suppose it is all that Rhodes Scholar intelligence….He is obviously saving it up to use sometime later.

    • Steve says:

      10:23am | 27/01/13

      This was actually really funny.

      Thanks!!

    • TheRealDave says:

      11:40am | 26/01/13

      Past generations used to hide the fact their forebears were convicts sent to this country in disgrace as criminals. They were embarrased by it. Nowadays its a badge of how awesomely dinky-di Aussie you are.

      Reading the papers and online discusisons I wonder if future generations will gloss over and be embarrased over the fact their parents and grandparents were homophobic, xenophobic, moronic, flag draped, southern cross tattood morons who were spoonfed their idiocy by the media and self interest groups needing them to be that stupid.

    • Gregg says:

      01:24pm | 26/01/13

      I reckon there’ll still be people making generalisations about all sorts of BS Dave.

    • Augustus Caesar says:

      11:40am | 26/01/13

      I propose “The Punch” puts in place an “Alternative Australia Day Awards” system. First awards to be made on 26th January 2014.
      I want to start the ball rolling by nominating a wonderful, witty South Australian of indeterminate age but who has a very understanding wife!
      Some of you may know that the ALP Government of SA squanders untold, “Commercial in Confidence”  10s, if not 100s, of 1000s of SA Taxpayer’s money on a ridiculous job which it calls “The Thinker in Residence”. In typical genuflecting, forelock tugging & cultural cringing style they always award this plum job to someone from overseas who visits the odd time & who has all her/his expenses paid for her/him. (it’s no wonder the ALP Govt of SA is in debt to the tune of $14 billions).
      My candidate for the AADA’s Top gong has to be a regular writer of fun letters to the Adelaide Advertiser, one Wayne Nicholls.
      Wayne is SA’s, if not Australia’s, Unpaid, Voluntary “Thinker in Residence” for he makes suggestions which are, unlike the government’s TiR, reasonable, achievable & intelligent.
      For those of you who don’t know SA has a little bike race every January called “The Tour Down Under” (TDU). This is another event the SA Govt squandered “Commercial in Confidence” millions of SA Taxpayer’s money which it gave to Lance Armstrong. The race is one of the best in the World.
      Our Wayne is also the Secretary-General of the “Honey Log Lycra (tm) Set”
      For those of you who don’t know what a Honey Log is, it is a rich, long sponge thing (some men would love their ‘log’ to be as big!!) brushed with syrup & rolled in sugar, then split lengthwise, spread with jam & , finally, filled with mountains of Whipped Cream. About 15,000 calories!
      The Honey Loggers only come out of hibernation, during which time they still gorge themselves, just after Christmas & stay in the public eye until the last day of the TDU. They don their very own, & often filthy, cycling gear: the tight lycra shorts & tops all of which are made even tighter as a result of having to stretch beyond manufacturer’s recommendations simply to cover these, mostly male, huge bellies & great big fat arses. They spend the 4-5 weeks sitting at tables outside cafes, wherever the real TDU competitors pass, munching, munching, munching & washing it all down with the obligatory Latte or Cream-topped Vienna!
      How Wayne co-ordinates all this is a bloody miracle for his members never, ever fail to appear & have done so ever since the very first TDU.
      So Wayne for “Companion of the Order of Alternative Australia”

    • yeah-no says:

      12:54pm | 26/01/13

      My Australia Day wish is that Qld gets 30% less of the rain currently flooding parts of it, and it falls on southern Australia instead, parched as it is to the point of tinder. What a continent .

    • Hartz says:

      12:56pm | 26/01/13

      HAHAHA - The story on Censorship just got censored… hilarious - well done punch…

    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      01:52pm | 26/01/13

      Nope, just published by accident by someone with a slippery keyboard finger! It’ll be back up tomorrow when it was supposed to be published

    • Hartz says:

      02:57pm | 26/01/13

      okay - fair enough, sounds legit…

    • pa_kelvin says:

      03:01pm | 26/01/13

      Hey Ant…. Happy Oz day….
      Thanks for moderating today….. (tommorow, Monday??)

    • vox says:

      01:21pm | 26/01/13

      The only real Australia Day will be when someone puts a sign on the front fence saying, “Come and join the barby. All welcome!”.
      The word “barbecue” comes from old Spanish and describes a tepee type frame of thinnish branches which are draped with strips of meat, (usually flattened), and under which a fire is lit. The Spanish word is, I think, “barbacoa” or some variant.
      I know this sounds a bit wierd, but it works for my friends and I. (I came across this in Spain too). We put a few bowls of an inexpensive red, with a dash of honey whipped through, around the deck and we dip pretty much all of the cooked meats in, by hand, as we eat. You may wish to try it.
      Happy Day!

    • nihonin says:

      03:14pm | 26/01/13

      I never knew that about the ‘ol barbeque,  cheers vox.

      Have a good Australia Day and long weekend.

    • Matthais says:

      01:33pm | 26/01/13

      I am not quite sure that I understand the manner in which the common garden variety bogan chooses to celebrate Australia Day.

      I have just returned from a trip to secure the required ingredients and apparatus for the *barbeque* (can’t bring myself to use the Yank spelling) - some emu and kangaroo sausages (what better way to celebrate than by eating the coat of arms?) and a gas bottle for the “barbie”.

      During my journey, my senses were assaulted by the sights of shirtless bogans draped in the national flag, tipping Woodstock down their gaping maws in a manner that suggested they might perish unless they did, wandering up to anyone who wasn’t wearing some form of hastily fashioned cape made out of a flag and accusing them of being “unstrayan”.

      One such creature had gone so far as to complement his Southern Cross tattoos with “STRAYA” written in large letters on his bare back and had a flag tied around his bicep.

      Interestingly, he was wearing a LA Lakers cap (backwards) and a pair of Lakers shorts.

      Upon leaving the service station, he upbraided a gentleman of east Asian appearance who was wearing an Australian flag tshirt, saying “get me flag off ya, ya cunt”.

      The gentleman responded, in a thick Aussie accent “It is our flag” and the bogan scurried off to his car and hooned off.

      On the back, yes, you guessed it, Southern Cross and a “fuck off we’re full” stickers.

      If only there were a place we could ship the bogans off to. Perhaps we can build a wall around Mt Druitt and dump them all there.

    • Chillin says:

      02:05pm | 26/01/13

      Only to be celebrated to your standards and expectations or not at all.  How very Australian.

    • Ben says:

      02:10pm | 26/01/13

      How very convenient it was that a disgustingly racist act occurred in the presence of Matthais, the same day that he chose, peg on nose, to condemn the “common garden variety bogan”.

    • nihonin says:

      03:20pm | 26/01/13

      Pfffft I’ll see your redneck bogans and raise you this, I walked past a bunch of progressive bogans down at the park, shouting out how we should all be ashamed of our country and its heritage.  Either way you look at it, haters, gunna hate.

    • stephen says:

      02:28pm | 26/01/13

      On TV I just saw a bystander in The Tour Down Under dressed in that same black and white outfit - or is it Joe’s new wife popping in to see how high she can lift that dress ?

    • Mouse says:

      04:54pm | 26/01/13

      Fair suck of the sauce bottle pa_k,  (keeping to the Australia Day theme), she is after all 67!!  hehehe
      The fact that she had to stop to refuel, sleep, read signs in different languages but kept her foot down for 60 hours before she realised there may be a problem, says a lot for the air in Europe, n’est pas?  I want to meet this woman and get her to take me shopping. I’ll see you next year!!  LOL   :o)

    • stephen says:

      08:44am | 27/01/13

      Where ‘iansand’ lately ?

      (Wondered why I wasn’t laughing so much lately.)

    • Rick says:

      09:39am | 27/01/13

      What a fantastic night ! Party next door , Meatloaf and Bananarama on high rotation at 150db .

    • pa_kelvin says:

      11:23am | 27/01/13

      Mmmmmm ... Meatloaf,,, *drools*

    • Mouse says:

      12:05pm | 27/01/13

      hahahahaha   pa_k the thought of you drooling over Meatloaf (the singer) sort of makes a tear trickle out the corner of my squinted eye!!  Oh keep it up!!  LOL xoD

    • pa_kelvin says:

      02:36pm | 27/01/13

      Singer?? What singer???? I mean meatloaf….. smile

    • Rick says:

      11:43am | 27/01/13

      There is nothing more arousing than a pack of well lubricated 50 yo women partying likes its 1985

    • ramases says:

      12:19pm | 27/01/13

      Well, that was fun, not. 3 days of the wildest weather I can remember since Cyclone Tracy. We had 650mm of rain and cyclonic winds that blew over trees and generally cause mayhem and havoc, two of my best friends. Our main dam was 150mm from going over the wall but luckily the overflow worked really well and saved it, the bottom dam in now about 6 times a big as normal with the paddock flooded to about knee depth. Plenty of snakes on the moves so i have had to lock the dogs up because they are renowned snake destroyers and will eventually succumb to a smarter snake, specially one of the big eastern browns that inhabit the place. It must have rained fish as we now have fish about 200mm long in our dams and there are no other dams in the area that flow into ours as we are the highest point around, strange that. Only one leak detected in the house and fixed that this morning in case the weather decides to come back up this way.
        Bit of a worry about the Solar Panels but they stood up to the conditions really well and believe it or not I actually had enough power stored in my batteries that we didn’t have to start the generator. Come to think of it after paying over $16,000 just for the batteries they bloody well should have. We have cleaned up a bit but now just want to have a snooze as we haven’t had much sleep the last few nights. Have a nice day.

    • pa_kelvin says:

      02:43pm | 27/01/13

      ramases .... It’s wierd, a week or two ago the talk was bushfires, and your preperations for them and now you’ve flipped 180*.
      I was meant to be working in Gladstone last week but got held up on another job (lucky me)....
      Hope all goes well… Stay safe…

    • pa_kelvin says:

      03:12pm | 27/01/13

      I guess the real problem would be that it’s destroyed the golfing… smile
      You must be further north than I tought. I figered Sunshine Coast Hinterland.

    • Benny of Bendigo says:

      12:24pm | 27/01/13

      One can only hope that all our Muslim “brothers”, find the smell of burning pork-products wafting across our wonderfull land, so offensive that they book a ticket on the next flight out! To all who wish to be Australian, have a great day!

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      01:03pm | 27/01/13

      Tony Abbott is so full of shit, it’s not funny. Our Plan: Real Solutions for all Australians. Tell that to the single people and childless couples that are subsidizing a “fair dinkum paid parental scheme” and better child care. Didn’t know that the Coalition were socialist scum who were more interested in social engineering and placing a tax upon business, all the while complaining about a carbon tax.

    • Gordon says:

      02:54pm | 27/01/13

      Stepped out of my door and found a very frail old gent keeled over in the road, no ID, no nada. Conscious & unhurt but couldn’t really tell us anything about himself. Ambos there in 4 minutes.  Outstanding. Old gent OK.

      Suggestion for nursing home operators: please stick your phone number on the zimmerframes. Ambos had no clue where to take him: if the nearest home isn’t right he’ll be stuck unidentified in a hospital bed until someone reports a bolter.

 

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