‘Violence against women’ are three particularly distressing words. Words that should never go together. I’d like to think we all agree.
Turns out, maybe not.
A recent study indicates that, “one in four people think women falsify or exaggerate claims of rape and domestic violence”. That’s too many people blaming the victims for my liking.
On the contrary, considering the fact that fear and shame play a huge part in creating a cycle of violence, I would go so far as to say that many women understate or simply do not talk about the violence which is done to them.
Women’s Health Victoria Executive Director Marilyn Beaumont says, “Facing up to the fact that it is occurring and speaking up about it can be a very difficult process for women who are victims of abusive behaviours.”
VicHealth compiled the results of this latest federally funded survey of more than 10,000 Australians, and some of those results were encouraging. It’s a relief to hear that 98 per cent of respondents now recognise domestic violence as a crime, up from 93 per cent in a similar 1995 survey.
However, the report goes on to predict that one in three women will be the victim of violence in their lifetime. Again, that’s a shocking statistic that any right thinking person should be outraged about. But are we?
VicHealth CEO, Todd Harper, said, “The sheer numbers of women affected by violence, mostly committed by the men with whom they share their lives, remain horrific. We must do everything we can to challenge the kind of attitudes, behaviours and practices that allow violence against women to flourish.”
When I asked author and former-women’s rights advocate Joanne Fedler for her thoughts on the report she said, “When I worked in the violence against women sector, we found that it was almost impossible to persuade or educate the public that violence against women was ‘wrong’ - people who don’t ‘get’ it - for whatever reason will never ‘get’ it. Telling people ‘it’s wrong to rape a woman’ is a rather depressing no-brainer, but it still happens.”
“We’ll only shift attitudes when women own their power. We have to stop talking about ‘violence against women’ and shift the debate to women’s empowerment and equality. Waiting around for men to change their attitudes to women is futile and totally disempowering. Women first have to change their attitudes to themselves.”
Joanne’s suggestions for ways that, “women can protect themselves and shift how we are perceived by men” are, at once, both radical and sensible. She says that women should, “delay marriage, stop romanticising it, and even question marriage as a life choice.”
Some of the other keys to remaining safe from violence include being educated and gaining financial independence. Ultimately, she says, “women should learn the most powerful word a woman can utter: NO.”
A few years ago I attended a performance of The Vagina Monologues. This play by Eve Ensler is usually staged in support of V-Day – a global movement to end violence against women and girls http://www.vday.org/home. The outstanding memory of that performance for me actually came after the curtain call.
Under a single stagelight one of the performers asked anyone who had been a victim of violence or abuse to stand up.
It started as a trickle. An older lady here, a younger one there. Then a couple more over there, a few more here. Then the man in front of me stood up. Next to me, my best friend got to her feet. And then I did. In a place free from shame and judgement we were safe to admit what had happened to us.
Really, is it too much to ask that one day no-one will have to stand up?
Jayne Kearney is the editor of Sunny Days magazine.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Ukraine song pinches chord progression from The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. Fo real #sbseurovision
RT @GerardDaffy: @antsharwood all the talk over there is the grannies will win.they entered to get a church built,feelgood story
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it
An email was sent to almost every politician in Australia this week saying that someone should cut off…
Our special forces don’t always need special treatment
We admire them, but we’re not entirely sure why. We allow them to operate in the shadows; we rarely…
A good holiday is about unrest, not rest
Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
Michael S says:
"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone
Change Up! says:
I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented