In a major global exclusive, The Punch has received a sneak glimpse into the Twitter feed of Pope Benedict XVI.

He hasn't actually tweeted 13 times. So we did on his behalf! Click below…

Despite boasting hundreds of thousands of followers since joining Twitter with the handle @pontifex overnight, His Holiness is yet to tweet.

However, the Pontiff is said to have a dozen or so pithy 140 character pronouncements ready to roll, just as soon as he can find a biblical passage to prove that God, not science, is relaying his Tweets to the world.

Digital wizardry: Vincent Vergara

@antsharwood

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    • Paul says:

      11:27am | 04/12/12

      Ant, Why would you deliberately write an article designed to offend Catholics?  Is it because they are easier to bully than Muslims, Jews and Hindus?  Or do you plan on a followup making fun of Buddha?

      Just asking because from here it looks like you have a problem with one specific religion (based on a whole raft of articles you have done… not just this one in isolation).  Why not just come out and admit your predjudice?

    • HC says:

      11:54am | 04/12/12

      Does Buddha paint a big target on his rotund belly and say “come mock me”?  Do Hindus publicly moralise and lament the tolerance of the world today?  Do Jews setup lobby groups to disproportionally convince governments to either remain intolerant or become more intolerant?  Do Muslims attempt to continually take the world back to the Dark Ages?  Well they all might as they’re religions afterall but few religions are as publicly hypocritical as the Catholics and no other religion is as powerful.  People in power deserve mockery, it’s how you remind them that they’re human.

    • fml says:

      11:58am | 04/12/12

      I think this article is more offensive to the poor grizzly than catholics…

      What has the poor grizzly done to anyone?

    • A Dose of Reality says:

      11:59am | 04/12/12

      Paul,

      What you say may be correct (targeting catholics), however, since catholics like to spend so much time and effort dictating to the rest of us what we must or must not do (or think), they are an obvious, not to mention completely legitimate, target.

      George Pell - need more be said?

      Other ‘religions’, even the ones referred to as ‘cults’ might make ‘noise’ - even be known to make stupid comments (“uncovered meat” anyone) - however they do not interfere with politics anywhere near as much as the catholics do.

      Maybe if they shut up - for a change.

      Notice we didn’t have to mention the thing about the child abuse?

    • Quasimodo says:

      12:05pm | 04/12/12

      This article is distasteful and superfluous. I do not understand the need to bully and mock an 85 year old man. Surely as a journalist the author has better things to write about…. This is not quality journalism this is just bullying.
      You don’t have to believe in or follow a particular religion but you do have to respect the beliefs of others. Without a basic respect for others and their differences, society would crumble.

    • subotic says:

      12:05pm | 04/12/12

      Is it because they are easier to bully than Muslims, Jews and Hindus?

      I’d disagree. It’s heaps easy to rag on Muslims, Jews and Hindus.

      It’s getting it passed the Mods on here that’s the tricky bit…..

    • Jaqui says:

      12:09pm | 04/12/12

      I personally look forward to the same article about Islam there Ant, that is if you aren’t a coward.

    • quasimodo says:

      12:17pm | 04/12/12

      @ A dose of Reality

      Everybody has a right to their own beliefs. Nobody putting a knife to your throat and forcing you to follow their way of life. And we are a secular nation with many groups, religions, businesses that influence policy. If you want to see religion influence politics go to Saudi Arabia. Perhaps you need to travel more and see that the so called christian countries are the countries that provide the greatest freedoms to their citizens.

    • Critic says:

      12:21pm | 04/12/12

      @ A Dose of Reality

      Firstly, Noone is forcing you to follow what catholics tell you is right. Yo can do as you like.

      Secondly, you mentioned child abuse. It happens in other religions too you just dont hear about it because their native cultures don’t condemn it and even if they did now in the 21st century, their religion does not condemn it itself. Do you critisize them as well? I haven’t ever read any comments of yours doing so.

      Finally, there’s nothing wrong with critisism. We critisize our governments, hopefully indicating to them that they need to change policies to vote for them again. We critisize schools, hoping there’s better teaching taking place for our children. We critisize everything, that’s the very reason religion exists.

      And religion is needed because of that very reason. People need a set of rules to abide by.

    • Shane* says:

      12:24pm | 04/12/12

      @HC

      “Do Jews setup lobby groups to disproportionally convince governments to either remain intolerant or become more intolerant?”

      Is that a joke? Seriously?

    • HC says:

      01:14pm | 04/12/12

      @Shane*

      Well I did say they might if you continue to read a couple more lines, though I am struggling to find a Jewish version of George Pell, the frikkin’ Pope or what’s that wankers name from the ACL?  Certainly if there is a Jewish version of these 3 guys, their views are lambasted and ignored as they should be whereas people take the Pope’s opinion so very seriously which is hilarious in and of itself, given how out of touch the dude is.

      And no Israeli lobby groups don’t count because Israel is not completely Jewish nor does it claim to represent Jewish people who live outside of Israel (the vast majority).

    • Elphaba says:

      01:35pm | 04/12/12

      I think the first one is my favourite!

    • PJ says:

      01:58pm | 04/12/12

      Anthony

      Lets have an article on Islam, just to prove there is not problem here

    • Mikeymike says:

      02:37pm | 04/12/12

      @ Ant:  Sure.  In five minutes of looking I found maybe a dozen different Islamic, Hindu and Jewish leader twitter feeds.  And though they weren’t stories overnight, I can’t help but wonder if you’ve simply taken the opportunity that presented itself.  Casual bigotry in the guise of humour is still bigotry.  And I guess if the target of your humour must practice turning the other cheek then there are no consequences, right?
      I would draw your attention to General Principle 7 of the Australian Press Council’s Statement of Principles: “Publications have a wide discretion in publishing material, but they should balance the public interest with the sensibilities of their readers, particularly when the material, such as photographs, could reasonably be expected to cause offence.”
      I wish you luck in dealing with the complaint that no doubt will arise from this article.

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:40pm | 04/12/12

      Paul, Paul, Paul, Pauly….Ant, like many of us, does not ‘just’ hate the Catholic Church. So please - lets not start with the old ‘help I’m being opprseed’ routine. Like most people that have graduated from Golden Books, learnt to tie their own non-velcro laces and no longer need a grown up when they need to use scissors to cut out paper for their crafts Ant comes from a subsection…well…near majority now according to latest polling, that has litlte time or respect for primitive throwback ‘faith’ based beleifs that the gulliable and weak willed need to get through their daily lives.

      Its not you, really. Nor is it jsut your religion/beleif system. Ant and others, such as myself, are equal opportunity despisers. I don’t hate Catholicism any more - or less, than say Islam, or Judaism, or idol worshipping, or baying at the full moon while naked.

      For the record: I’m cool with the orgies, sexual depravity, rampant alcoholism ala Bacchus/Dionysus though. In case you’d like to get me a gift come March 16…..but I’d suggest stretching, alot, beforehand….

    • mrd1980 says:

      11:59am | 04/12/12

      This article, if its headline and three sentences can be dignified with that name, feels like that funny email you forward to a few like-minded friends for a five-second giggle.

      I’m sure even the Chaser would find it puerile and undergraduate, but then I am from Melbourne and can easily be dismissed by Anthony Sharwood as one of the “haters down south”.

    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      12:02pm | 04/12/12

      Hater down south. Thhhpppfffpt!

    • Tim says:

      12:11pm | 04/12/12

      Agreed,
      there are some funny fake twitter and facebook satires going around.

      This ain’t one.

      And unlike the posters above, I think it’s because Sharwood didn’t lampoon the Pope enough. To make it funnier, It should have been far more offensive, although then it probably wouldn’t have been published.

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:11pm | 04/12/12

      The Chasers would find something puerile and undergraduate…more than their own stuff??

      ICB!!

    • Matt says:

      12:12pm | 04/12/12

      You could maybe overlook the offensiveness of this article if it was witty or at least a little bit funny - but it’s not. Just more anti Catholic bile.

    • fitter says:

      12:24pm | 04/12/12

      I thought it was witty. The irony of the Pope using twitter is enough for me.

    • Potato says:

      12:54pm | 04/12/12

      Me too fitter

      I can just see the pope now sitting down after prayer time, to use a computer invented by an atheist, on the internet (invented by an atheist) with an operating system built by an atheist (Windows or OSx), to send tweets and facebook (platforms both invented and operated by atheists) and whats the pope gonna say….

      probably how evil atheism is…

      It reminds me of that scene from Monty Python, you know - ‘what have the Romans ever done for us..?’

      Pope: What have the atheists ever done for us???

      Nearby Bishop: What about the internet and twitter, your holiness?

      Pope: Yes, Yes, internet and twitter, but other than that what have they ever done for us..?

      Nearby bishop: what about medicine, your holiness..

      Pope: Yes, yes… but apart from the internet and communications and medicine…..etc


      Ha Ha Ha

      Poor old Popey!

    • Bane says:

      01:49pm | 04/12/12

      I think it is quite humourous actually. As a general rule, Catholics can be pretty hard to offend so don’t stress too much.

    • Reader says:

      03:19pm | 04/12/12

      What about antibiotics (Alexander Fleming: Christian)? Polio vaccine (Jonas Salk: Jewish)?

      Please drop this ridiculous claim that everyone that has ever contributed to science/technology has been an atheist.

    • AdamC says:

      12:16pm | 04/12/12

      This is a bit feeble, Ant. Has lame, Catholic-bashing humour become the all-purpose last resort for journos/bloggers needing a bit of content at short notice? Or is this just shameless click/comment harvesting by flushing out the atheists and nutters (like the famously incoherent P.Darvio)?

      I actually remember seeing a doco about how the Vatican quite early on started using the radio to communicate with believers around the world. Catholics in far-flung areas, who would never be able to go to Rome to hear the Pontiff, could then hear him over the radio every week giving sermons, etc.

      Using social media is no different.

    • P. Darvio says:

      01:16pm | 04/12/12

      Actually the Vatican Youtube Channel is much more successful

      http://www.youtube.com/user/vatican?gl=AU&hl=en-GB

      as it now has over 35,000 followers – WOW – how impressive – a claimed 2 Billion Christians and only 35,000 can be bothered to subscribe to GOD

      That makes a massive 0.0000175 of Christians as subscribers to GOD.

      And now the Head of the Christian Church has become a Twit…..sorry I mean a Twitter……

      As for that Vatican Radio Station its trying to nuke it surrounding neighbours including giving innocent children cancer

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vatican_Radio#Radiation_controversy

      Oh dear…….the abuse of children just never stops…..

    • subotic says:

      01:18pm | 04/12/12

      Kinda reminds me of the “Brother Justin” radio sermons in HBO’s “Carnivale”.

      Wait, didn’t he turn out to be the Anti-Christ or something?

    • P. Darvio says:

      01:28pm | 04/12/12

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vatican_Radio_lawsuit

      “The Vatican Radio lawsuit was started by the Regional Health Department for “Throwing of dangerous things” on the Italian ground. Every time it was sued the radio showed the ‘Lateran Treaty’, bilateral agreements signed by the Holy See and Benito Mussolini during Fascism. (The area around the radio station at the time it was built was not heavily populated).The Santa Maria di Galeria transmitter site is the subject of a dispute between the station and some local residents who claim the non-ionising radiation from the site has affected their health.”

      AND

      “Since this part of Rome is not under Italian jurisdiction, these transmitters are not subject to the Italian laws that limit the radiation that a radio station can emit. In the vicinity of these pylons, the radiation emitted can be more than the double the amount allowed by Italian law, as verified officially by the Italian Civil Defense and the Department for the Environment of the region of Lazio.”

      AND

      “The Region of Lazio has also found that the people in the area around the emitters are much more likely to have leukemia: the closer those in the examined sample lived to the radio station, the more likely they were to have leukemia, up to six times the Italian national average.”


      So children are getting cancer because the Christian Church and that Fascist Mussolini signed a deal back decades ago….and the Christian Church doesn’t give a stuff about using double the amount of power permitted by Italilian Law…...

      Yes getting the message of GOD out is so important - just fry the brains of children - not a problem

      More Child abuse by Christianity…...

    • P. Darvio says:

      01:54pm | 04/12/12

      http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/vatican-radio-is-told-to-pay-out-over-cancer-risk-scare-2228541.html

      “Vatican Radio said it was disappointed by the ruling. “This sentence comes at the end of a long, stormy trial process which has seen the pontifical broadcaster subject to unjust accusations,” a spokesman told Ansa news agency. “There is no justified reason for concern for any part of the population.” “

      M’mmmm……didn’t they use these types of words decades ago about the Christian Priest Child Sex Rape Scandal?

      I think we need a separate Royal Commission into the use of Radio, and TV, and Internet by the Christian Church in Australia – too much power I think….

    • P. Darvio says:

      02:17pm | 04/12/12

      Maybe a donation hotline for all those Cancer Victims of the Christian Vatican Radio Radiation Poisoning Scandal should be setup?

      Please Call 1800-GOD-VATICAN and ask for the Vatican Bank – they know how to deal with your money.

    • AdamC says:

      03:09pm | 04/12/12

      Subotic, Carnivale was a great show.

      P.Darvio, I know I mentioned your name (big mistake, in retrospect) but did you really have to start spamming this thread right underneath my comment? I have no idea what you are on about, or how it is relevant to anything but your irrational, obsessive hatred of Christianity.

    • subotic says:

      04:00pm | 04/12/12

      Aaaaah AdamC, you’ve been punk’d by P. Darvio!

      I have to give it him/ her/ it. I do admire their militant (dare I say religious) stance against religion. Worse than the Mormons not getting it when you tell them don’t call again. Just doesn’t understand the word no. And I do admire that in a person….

      But yea, I’m doing Carnivale right now. Fantastic show. Shame about the budget blow-out I guess….

      Just sad how “period” HBO drama shows never make the full 5/6 seasons. Deadwood was another. Just glad The Wire made the grade.

      Oh hey, did you pick up on the FX “American Horror Story”? Worth a look.

    • Tubesteak says:

      12:16pm | 04/12/12

      “Time to come clean: it’s all a crock. Just go have fun, eat, root and die. There’s nothing else between birth and death or beyond”

      Or the sanctioned version:
      “This is the work of the devil. You’re all going to hell. Repent now and give me your tithings!”

    • Geebus says:

      12:26pm | 04/12/12

      Maybe a few child abuse or heretic murdering gags would have made it funnier…although its funny enough that some people believe in a man upstairs.

    • scott says:

      01:37pm | 04/12/12

      No worse than believing there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason what so ever into self-replicating bits which then turned into dinosaurs.

      Makes just as much sense.

    • Tubesteak says:

      01:57pm | 04/12/12

      @scott
      Not sure if joking or just stupid

    • TheRealDave says:

      05:20pm | 04/12/12

      I thought it was pretty obvious Tubesteak wink

    • Shane* says:

      12:31pm | 04/12/12

      Some of the comments about Catholics exerting disproportionate influence on politics/society make me laugh. Here’s a sample of facts:

      The ACL is not a Catholic organisation. Never has been.
      The PM is an atheist Emily’s List member.
      Gay marriage is less than a decade away.
      Euthanasia won’t be too far behind.
      Local councils are too scared to set up nativity sets or even mention the Christ in Christmas.
      We continue to lock people up when they arrive by boat.

      If Catholics had as much of a run of things as some people here seem to think, then would any of the above be true?

    • Humpty says:

      01:22pm | 04/12/12

      Actually Shane, its sometimes more conservative/christian voters who prefer the less humane things.

      As an example, its the conservative/christian side of politics, lead by Abbott (a devout Catholic) who is all about ‘turning back the boats’ etc.

      To suggest that if Christians/catholics where in charge these things would improve is a bit silly when the the very devout, leader of the opposition has the least ‘christian’ view of asylum seekers (for example).

      This is also true in many US states - for example, there is a direct correlation between christianity and cruelty.

      US states that are more Christian have higher incidences of murder
      US states that are more christian are the ones who have retained the death penalty
      US states which are mostly christian/conservative are the states that vote AGAINST universal health care for all of its citizens…

      Here in Australia the church has (for decades) decided to protect perpetrators of abuse against children - putting the criminal ahead of hte victim….I mean, what sort of twisted logic is that….at what point does an adult (priest or any other), when confronted by a child victim and an adult abuser decide that its the right thing to do to protect the perpetrator of the crime???

      Any progress that has been made in gay marriage, medicine etc has been done against the will of the church

    • Rina says:

      01:45pm | 04/12/12

      Shane, there are very few facts in your list. For your information, predictions which may or may not come true are not facts, unless you have somehow become omniscient? Congrats on becoming god, if so. And yes, if practising Catholic Tony Abbott was PM, people would definitely continue to be locked up if they arrived by boat. If yours is the usual Catholic understanding of “facts”, it’s no wonder Catholics have so many difficulties with evolution, etc.

    • Shane* says:

      01:56pm | 04/12/12

      @Humpty,

      Yes, and I assure you Abbott’s rigid stance on asylum seekers puts him firmly at odds with the Catholic Church.

      re: US State’s Christianity and Crime. Correlation. Causality. Not equal etc… A very long bow to draw.

      Re: Medicine. The very tired argument that religion is purely opposed to scientific or medical progress is, well… tired.

      It was certainly true in the majority of cases in years gone by. It is certainly true today in areas involving embryonic research (since it’s impossible to reconcile the sanctity of human life as Catholics see it and certain avenues of biological research) but to suggest that ALL medical and scientific advances were made despite the church kicking and screaming to hold it back is, frankly, just plain wrong. Many scientific advances were made directly by priests and other members of the clergy. In fact, the Big Bang Theory (the most widely-held view of the origin of the universe and something the Catholic church accepts as likely) was developed by (among others) a Catholic Priest!

    • Shane* says:

      01:58pm | 04/12/12

      And Humpty, nothing you said really counters what I said - if Catholics held so much power, why are traditional Catholic views being shunned with increasing frequency and occasional malice?

    • Humpty says:

      02:50pm | 04/12/12

      Of course nothing counters what you said.

      If I say a catholic leader (Abbott) is promoting something anti-christian (send back the boats) then you just say “oh, he’s one person, and the whole rest of the catholic world don’t agree with him”

      Point to a few child raping priests and you say “oh, just a few bad apples”

      Find a whole group of clergy involved in covering up abuse “oh, its only one bad batch…”

      If we draw attention to the fact that the most christian nations/states are also the ones with the highest incidence of murder, serious crime and domestic violence - you go “oh, cause and effect, doesn’t mean anything”

      Thats the problem with religion vs the rest of the world - religious people start with ANSWERS and simply reject anything that contradicts that view (even to the point of the rediculous). 

      THroughout history the church has always been wrong and behind the times, whether its burning witches, supporting slavery, preventing marriage between blacks and whites, arguing against contraception, forcing religion onto other cultures, taking babies from single mothers or constantly trying to derail medical research (such as current objection to stem cell research, despite the potential to cure hundreds of ailments).

      And the modern day arguments of the catholic church against gay marriage, for example, will be looked upon in times to come as simply further backwards thinking by the church..

      There is nothing you can say to a devout catholic that will make them change their view - its something that they each come to terms with by themselves - but history shows that they pretty much get it wrong every time

      (I say this as a reformed catholic, from a strict catholic background, who was educated in catholic schools right through to Year 12 and holds masters in theology).

      Good luck with having all the Answers up front, without having to think for yourself.

    • Shane* says:

      03:26pm | 04/12/12

      Your Masters in Theology obviously hasn’t equipped you with fantastic comprehension skills.

      I say ‘If Catholics hold such power, how come we have a society that overwhelmingly supports abortion (categorically a more pressing issue than gay marriage to the Catholic Church), significantly reduced observance of religious feasts and a decidedly unChristian political sphere.’

      You counter: ‘Catholics are bad, m’kay?! Paedophiles and crusades and such!’

      You’re moving the goalposts. What I said stands firm. I posted about a grand conspiracy some people subscribe to that Catholics run the country in some way, shape or form. If they do, they’re doing a rubbish job of it as Catholics, since Australia is very quickly moving away from Catholic values in almost every way.

      PS For every example of Christians “dropping the ball” on acting like Christians you can name, I can name an example where they don’t drop the ball. As it stands the Catholic Church is one of the (if not THE) largest provider of education, welfare and health services on planet earth. Nothing you can say will make that any less FACTual.

    • John says:

      12:34pm | 04/12/12

      Seriously, what do you expect him to tweet?

      The stereotypical bless you my children? Coming from the head of the Catholic Church I don’t think he should be mentioning children until they clean their act up.

      If the pope does put out a couple of humorous tweets it will be nice to see.

    • Toni says:

      12:43pm | 04/12/12

      I’m a catholic - and I love this. Had a good laugh through it all. For all you whingers - GET A LIFE. If you can’t have a laugh at yourself and take a lighthearted looks at things without criticizing - then you clearly have issues. Just realise those issues are only in your own heads. Anthony - keep up the great work - you’re just telling it, as it truly is, and with clever wit.

    • Angry_Of_Mayfair says:

      01:05pm | 04/12/12

      I’m with Toni. As a recovering Catholic & Proud Poofter, I got a giggle from this as well. The haters really do need to get a life. Or get laid.

    • Anthony Sharwood

      Anthony Sharwood says:

      01:13pm | 04/12/12

      Thanks Toni. Thppptfft again to all the knockers

    • Pattem says:

      01:26pm | 04/12/12

      Well, I didn’t find the tweets funny…but neither did I find it offensive smile

      Probably says more about my sense of humour, or lack thereof!  I think Lord of War, American Psycho and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang are hilarious.

    • pfffft says:

      05:36pm | 04/12/12

      Thppptfft is the most intelligent thing that has ever come from anthony sharwood

    • mattyt says:

      12:48pm | 04/12/12

      im yet to read a punch article that isnt sarcastic and offensive in some way, journalism at its worst by taking a biased view

    • manson says:

      01:18pm | 04/12/12

      Totally agree. should read how his Ricky Ponting article started. The first paragrath in that was not necessary.

    • Anubis says:

      12:54pm | 04/12/12

      I thought the Pope had a party-line direct to the big guy upstairs. Can’t he just tweek the party line to send his messages direct into the heads of believers and leave Twitter and the like to us mere mortals

    • vox says:

      01:08pm | 04/12/12

      We need more anti-catholic bile. We need more criticism, more venom, more exposure of this unbelievably evil institution. Matt seems to think that the catholic church is a safe place for children. Would you let these depraved, immoral deviates have their way with your kids Matt? If of course you have any.
      Quasimodo says “we have to respect the rights of others”. Do we? I think you’ve just got the hump. Should I, or you, be required to respect the overall complicity of the catholic church in the destruction of children? In the refusal to recognise women as equals? In the despicable cover-ups of what some of us have personally experienced at the hands of these people?
      There is a rule in life, a line that no man worth his salt crosses. It is there to indicate what once was called “the pale”.  Paedophilia is a great part of that line and all who cross are damned in the minds of decent people. And so are those who continue to support and protect such behaviour.
      It’s unfortunate that some people are left with the decision of withdrawing from an institution which sadly has become a part of their life. But decisions must be made, and we as a society are failing those for whom we are responsible by allowing this depravity to not only continue, but to grow.
      I am amazed that any person could profess a belief in any kind of god, or boast of following the teachings of any imagined or real advocate of love and decency and righteousness, and sit still whilst the pretenders rape our kids and belittle our women.
      I guess for some it’s superstition first, and the children a distant second.
      It’s beyond what I know as the “pale”, anyway.

    • Kathy R says:

      01:43pm | 04/12/12

      What has happened to people having a sense of humour anymore?
      Ant’s article is Satire with a few home truths thrown in.
      Maybe the Pope may care to sell some of the Church’s vast wealth? it may stop poor old @JoeHildebrand having to sleep in cars to highlight the need of the homeless.
      2012 years on and still no room at the Inn!!

    • vox says:

      03:51pm | 04/12/12

      Kathy, you are right. A sense of humour is one of life’s essentials. I think what most of us got pissed off with were those poor demented worshippers of child molesters getting serious.
      The pope is a joke, the whole paganistic basis of the catholic church is a joke, the permitted child molestation of defenceless children is a joke, but until we expose the dreadful ramifications of licensed paedophilia then I’m afraid that our own apathy is a joke.
      If this was one school permitting, and promoting the sexual perversion that the catholic church condones by their allowing it to fester, then we would march on that school tomorrow. Why do we, Australia, as a Nation allow these crimes to be committed. And committed with apparent impunity.
      We would march in the streets if they threatened to cancel the grand final, (any grand final), or the Melbourne Cup. But our kids being sexually abused?
      Nah!  Too much trouble. 
      Ant’s article is not satire. Ant’s article is truly descriptive of our apathetic acceptance of another form of terrorism. No?
      Ask the children.

    • Seriously... says:

      02:07pm | 04/12/12

      great laugh… I pity anyone who gets worked up over this

    • Hanzel says:

      03:20pm | 04/12/12

      Matthew 10:22, “All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved”

      Be strong. Sadly, the persecution is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

    • NigelC says:

      04:00pm | 04/12/12

      Dr. Seuss? no wait ... Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

    • Mattb says:

      04:59pm | 04/12/12

      once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a young boy and his sister, their names were Hanzel and Gretel.

      there you go, thats no different to what you’ve written. All just lines from fictional fairytales…

    • New Economist says:

      04:13pm | 04/12/12

      That’s it Anthony!!! Can’t think of a real story so The Punch runs another anti-catholic ‘ICB’ story.

      Why not write about Clarke’s pathetic on-field captaincy, inability to set a field and inability to lift the team’s moral. Bloody hell, did you see his reaction when he caught du Plessis?? Clarke was already preparing to lose.

      Why not write about Clarke’s pathetic on-field captaincy, inability to set a field and inability to lift the team’s moral. Bloody hell, did you see his reaction when he caught du Plessis?? Clarke was already preparing to lose.

      Why not write about the Australian Cricket Team’s pathetic performance for top order batsmen. Do you realise that since the Pakistan Tour of 2010 (more than 50 Innings) Australia has been 2-200 only once and 2-100 around 10-times.

      Why not write about the Cricket Selectors, of which Clarke is one, pathetic decisions over the past 2-3 years ..... of which making Clarke a Captain/Selector is one.

    • Bomb78 says:

      04:24pm | 04/12/12

      I’m a Catholic and not offended by this. I’m sure there are those that are. Thankfully for Ant, there isn’t too many Catholic hit squads out there that riot and murder at the suggestion of offense.
      However, those using the Catholic Church’s appalling record on child sexual abuse as justification for some sort of general anti-Catholic standing are no different to the bigots that vilify all Muslims for the actions of a few. Maybe we should build a big wall around a desert somewhere, dump the terrorists and the child abusers all in there together, and let God sort them out? Neither the terrorists nor the molesters represent their God or the good people of faith.

    • A lapsed Catholic says:

      04:39pm | 04/12/12

      To all the indignant Catholics posting their outrage here, just relax and say another rosary safe in the knowledge that cold weather is God’s way of saying “Throw another heretic on the fire.” God, you all sound very Mel Gibson.

      Careful Ant - some of them sound like they’re about to go Ezekiel 25:17 on you…

 

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