I watched Twilight New Moon at an inconspicuous cinema, at a very un-trendy hour. I figured that by strategically selecting the time and location, I would not have to be overwhelmed with screeching teeny boppers drooling over Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) or Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) as they vied for the attention of leading lady (and I use the term loosely) Bella Swan (Kirsten Stewart).

I figured wrong. When Edward made his first appearance, there was a scream, and it was not dissimilar to the cheer that enveloped practically all cinema patrons when Jacob took his shirt off (though admittedly, that was not an all too terrible sight).
It seems that where society was once divided along the axis of east or west, Angelina or Jennifer, Vegemite or Marmite, it is now divided along an axis of Edward or Jacob.
The movie that has saturated our lives and overwhelmed our media not only managed to make our teenage girls salivate over domineering boys, but also inspired them to emulate an un-ambitious, love-obsessed female willing to lose her soul and forsake everything she knows for the man in her life who seems hell-bent on separating her from her friends, whether they are male or female.
And the end product of this reel of hyped-up performance? Totally not worth the constant in-your-face coverage that has manifested itself in newspapers, magazines, radio interviews, blogs, train rides and slumber party conversations.
It seems that in the rush to have it out in a timely fashion, the director must have foregone certain aspects that could have enriched the whole viewing experience, at least aesthetically.
The werewolves that protect the areas surrounding the town of Forks (where the movie is based) resembled something out of a CS Lewis movie, not the kind expected from the record-breaking blockbuster that New Moon is.
Scenes seemed rushed, as though they didn’t have that spectacular energy poured into them. Shame really, considering the money pouring into the Twilight phenomenon.
Apart from the brief appearance of veteran Hollywood starlet Dakota Fanning (in all her teenage glory), and the determination of Jacob Black to woo the girl in a painstaking game of unrequited love, the film fell flat, dull and rather short of inspiration.
Considering I was rather pleased with the books, and additively read them quite quickly (all four in four days), I did go into the film with an open, if a little optimistic, mind.
But too much coverage on the part of the world’s media, too much comfort on the part of those involved in the film (they could have filmed it with a digital camera and still had the audience numbers) and too much hype about its potential quickly deflated any chance of it making an impact.
But it’s a piece in the Twilight Saga, and as a result, New Moon will still be shining as long as we believe in the love that dreams are made of, even if the portrayal of such a love was nothing short of Hollywood hype falling way short of the moon, and far too trumped-up to have its players counted among our times’ stars.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it
An email was sent to almost every politician in Australia this week saying that someone should cut off…
Our special forces don’t always need special treatment
We admire them, but we’re not entirely sure why. We allow them to operate in the shadows; we rarely…
A good holiday is about unrest, not rest
Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway…
Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented