I watched Twilight New Moon at an inconspicuous cinema, at a very un-trendy hour. I figured that by strategically selecting the time and location, I would not have to be overwhelmed with screeching teeny boppers drooling over Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) or Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) as they vied for the attention of leading lady (and I use the term loosely) Bella Swan (Kirsten Stewart).
I figured wrong. When Edward made his first appearance, there was a scream, and it was not dissimilar to the cheer that enveloped practically all cinema patrons when Jacob took his shirt off (though admittedly, that was not an all too terrible sight).
It seems that where society was once divided along the axis of east or west, Angelina or Jennifer, Vegemite or Marmite, it is now divided along an axis of Edward or Jacob.
The movie that has saturated our lives and overwhelmed our media not only managed to make our teenage girls salivate over domineering boys, but also inspired them to emulate an un-ambitious, love-obsessed female willing to lose her soul and forsake everything she knows for the man in her life who seems hell-bent on separating her from her friends, whether they are male or female.
And the end product of this reel of hyped-up performance? Totally not worth the constant in-your-face coverage that has manifested itself in newspapers, magazines, radio interviews, blogs, train rides and slumber party conversations.
It seems that in the rush to have it out in a timely fashion, the director must have foregone certain aspects that could have enriched the whole viewing experience, at least aesthetically.
The werewolves that protect the areas surrounding the town of Forks (where the movie is based) resembled something out of a CS Lewis movie, not the kind expected from the record-breaking blockbuster that New Moon is.
Scenes seemed rushed, as though they didn’t have that spectacular energy poured into them. Shame really, considering the money pouring into the Twilight phenomenon.
Apart from the brief appearance of veteran Hollywood starlet Dakota Fanning (in all her teenage glory), and the determination of Jacob Black to woo the girl in a painstaking game of unrequited love, the film fell flat, dull and rather short of inspiration.
Considering I was rather pleased with the books, and additively read them quite quickly (all four in four days), I did go into the film with an open, if a little optimistic, mind.
But too much coverage on the part of the world’s media, too much comfort on the part of those involved in the film (they could have filmed it with a digital camera and still had the audience numbers) and too much hype about its potential quickly deflated any chance of it making an impact.
But it’s a piece in the Twilight Saga, and as a result, New Moon will still be shining as long as we believe in the love that dreams are made of, even if the portrayal of such a love was nothing short of Hollywood hype falling way short of the moon, and far too trumped-up to have its players counted among our times’ stars.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
Amen, Senator... John McCain To Tim Cook: ‘Why The Hell Do I Have To Keep Updating Apps On My iPhone?’http://t.co/V9XIbzw752
@nigelmcbain I don't see the nexus between gay marriage and gay sex education in schools. ACL does. Health issues should be taught whatever
@jennijenni a few companies are known to do that - ask for story ideas from job applicants so they can steal them later
: Bruce Springsteen: "I get roughed up crowdsurfing… people try to pull chunks out of me" http://t.co/jiHqt8agt9” it was him, @patricklion
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented