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Those ridiculous fools in their flying machines

Jason Tin

by Jason Tin

05 Apr 05:45am

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Filed under: Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Flying, Planes, Technology

55 comments

Aeroplanes will always be a mystery to me. Every time I see one sailing smoothly through the clouds, I wonder how this thing - this giant lump of hollow steel filled with rumpled clothes and people and vacuum-sealed trays of “braised lamb and mushrooms” - can possibly stay in the air.

The world according to Jason Tin. Pic: No one who wants credit

I am absolutely convinced that if you found the Wright brothers’ original blueprint, it would be a picture of a stick man riding a bird, followed by a question mark and the word “magic”. Even more baffling, however, than the physics enabling these crazy machines to propel themselves through the skies, is the idea that people still manage to get thrown off them.

UK rugby bad boy Gavin Henson is the latest victim of mid-flight silliness. The 30-year-old was this week sacked by the Cardiff Blues following a spot of drunken behaviour on a flight from Glasgow.

Not content to sit still and be transported from one city to the other in the relative comfort of a modern aircraft, Henson decided to start throwing ice around the cabin - much to the displeasure of other non ice-throwing passengers. Airlines, it turns out, are very strict about this sort thing.

Henson, however, isn’t alone. We seem to hear about spectacularly unruly passengers grounding flights and being booted from cabins almost every other week. What is it about planes that turns ordinary, boring citizens into thrashing blurs of flailing limbs, tears and bourbon?

Last week, a passenger on a flight from Carolina to Florida was arrested after kicking and spitting on a (clearly unreasonable) flight attendant who refused to hand her more booze. In an attempt to prove her hand-eye coordination - and, by extension, her sobriety - the woman slapped a second flight attendant.

That same week, a Pennsylvania man almost managed to board a plane with fireworks in his backpack when a bunch of squares told him that people aren’t allowed to put combustible objects in their hand luggage, for some reason.

And last December, Alec Baldwin was tossed from a flight because he refused to switch off an iPhone game.

All of these incidents were completely avoidable. When it comes to planes, the rules are both simple and strict. Don’t throw frozen lumps of water at people in confined spaces. Don’t physically assault people when trying to convince them you are sober and rational. Listen to your flight attendant - if they’re taking time out of their busy afternoon of listening to old people complaining about the temperature of tap water to tell you something, it’s for your own good.

Nobody cares if the Mythbuster guys told you that mobile phones can’t crash a commercial airliner, just switch it off. We know it’s way more effort than engaging in a sustained, 40-minute screaming match with the cabin crew, but just press the damn button and put it in your pocket.

And don’t be the guy who insists on making the bomb joke because of free speech and your undeniable right to infuriate random people for no good reason.

It doesn’t matter if it was a hypothetical when you were talking about how a terrorist could potentially choke-hold the flight attendant and make a bomb out of shoe leather and toothpaste. You know the rules, just follow them.

You’re not getting placed in handcuffs because you’re some incredible revolutionary - a raging rebel tearing your bayonet of truth through the lies of The Man’s many devious minions. You are getting led off the flight by surly, underpaid security people because you are an idiot - a rude, self-indulgent idiot who is determine to endlessly stamp your foot and pout at the expense of your fellow passengers.

You probably think everyone on the plane is rooting for you. Anytime someone acts like a jackass in a public place, they think they have the automatic support of everyone within earshot of their frantic screeching. But they never do. Nobody thinks they’re a hero. You’re just a loudmouth, intent on wasting everybody’s time in the most dramatic way possible.

Aeroplanes - and whatever voodoo science keeps them in the heavens - really are magic. All you have to do is sit perfectly still and allow yourself to be transported from one point in space to the other.

The easy part should be not getting kicked off.

Most commented

55 comments

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    • S.L says:

      05:38am | 05/04/12

      A piece of useless trivia from someone who knows bugger all about planes…... The reason the Wright brothers were the first to successfully fly a “heavier than air” machine is they figured out that for the craft to turn, it also had to tilt into the turn at a reasonable ratio.

      Reply

    • marley says:

      06:45am | 05/04/12

      This article is about human behaviour, not aeronautics.  And on that, he’s right.  No one likes an idiot in an enclosed space at 36,000 feet.

    • acotrel says:

      08:39am | 05/04/12

      Did you see the footage of the Hurricane fighter in ‘Heart Beat’ on TV, last night. Absolutely beautiful !  It was worked into the story - well done, Poms !

    • acotrel says:

      08:48am | 05/04/12

      I sometimes road race motorcycles.  During WW2 the RAAF liked to recruit motorcyclists.  Can you imagine the adrenalin rush the guys used to get from screaming down in pursuit of an ME 109 or a Zero ?  No wonder a lot of them got diabetes.

    • Little Joe says:

      09:15am | 05/04/12

      I agree with S.L ...... but what what do you expect from a person with an arts degree with no understanding of science or engineering ....... but the attempt to mock the wonder of engineered flight only shows the ignorance of the writer.

      Imagine engineering 78,000kg into a machine that could fly a twice the speed of sound across the Atlantic. A specialised metal skin that would heat to over 100oC and allow the aircraft to expand by over 20cm at 60,000ft above sea level.

      The Punch publishes stories about the ‘dumbing down of a nation’ then publishes a story that feeds into the problem.

      But that’s OK ..... I am quite certain some people thought the childish picture is funny

    • Mark G says:

      09:51am | 05/04/12

      Acotrel,

      I would suggest that it was the other way around. A lot of RAAF pilots became or just happened to be motorcyclists. Many of the pilots of those days were often well educated and well off types. These were the most likely people to be able to afford motorcycles in those days.

      The other point I would like to make is you have a bit of a glorified idea of air combat. The adrenalin rush in air combat was probably more orientated around the ME109s and Zeros swooping down to tear your aircraft apart with 50 cal rounds than you tearing down on them. This was without a method of quick egress out of your burning aircraft ie no ejection seats. Bailing out involved sliding or popping of the canope and launching yourself rearwards over the wing section. This was assuming that the 50 cal rounds had not pierced the cockpit and removed limbs or vital organs. I would argue the adrenalin was fear rather than excitement/enjoyment. Air combat worked both ways and the kill ratios were not always in the favour of the allies. Sorry to be a kill joy.

    • Jeremy says:

      10:10am | 05/04/12

      @Little Joe - you seem to release a lot of smug on these boards. Please write a post without pointing out what degrees everyone has and maybe use a degree in comprehending what the article is about.

    • Little Joe says:

      10:13am | 05/04/12

      @ Acotrel

      Unfortunately, at the start of Pacific War, there weren’t too many Wirraways or Buffalos “screaming down in pursuit” of a Zero. Many Australians were killed in the air over Asia desperately trying to stop the Japanese thrust of 1941-42 in slow outdated planes. “War without Glory”(J. Balfe) gives an excellent account of what happened during this phase of the war.

      The same occurred in the defense of South Korea 10-years later .... MiGs vs Mustangs.

      Lest we forget!!!

    • acotrel says:

      02:32pm | 05/04/12

      @Little Joe
      Clive Caldwell didn’t have too much trouble dealing with the Zeros.
      If you were experiencing real fear you’d probably have engine trouble before you got out of sight of the airfield.

      Do you really believe Casey Stoner or Valentino Rossi feel afraid before racing, you can end up just as dead !  The worst job in WW2 would have been in Bomber Command as aircrew.  Then you’d have reason to be afraid.  At least the fighter pilots had their fate in their own hands.
      It’s a very strange thing about motorcycle road racing.  I’ve crashed an awful lot of times, and if I think about racing I always get apprehensive.  As soon as the engine fires, and I’m aboard the bike, I’m never going t o crash again, and I feel happy and confident. I believe a lot of WW2 pilots probably felt the same way.  There is another aspect which a world champion told me.  He said ‘on your day, when you are really good, noone is going to beat you.’
      You should try putting your life on the line some time.  It’s pretty difficult to get that opportunity in this day and age.  We are all wrapped up in cotton wool. You should try road racing, unfortunately they won’t let us have machine guns.

    • acotrel says:

      02:45pm | 05/04/12

      @Jeremy
      Let Little Joe have his ego trip.  If he’s got his piece of paper proving that he has paid homage to the system, that’s really great - and achievement. A young engineer I once worked with sa id he believed I was as well qualified as any PhD.  The difference is tha t I have both qualifications and experience.  I gained my quals while I was working in employment relevant to my field of interest.  All it means is that I know a lot about a little.  My working life has shaped my politics, unfortunately for you guys who frequent this forum.  I know my view of the world is vastly different from most of your world views. That’s why I bore you with my bullshit.  But I do notice that some of you are beginning t o change slightly.  The big black and white truths are not so distinct !
      I love this forum, particularly Marley and TimB - they keep me thinking.

    • Little Joe says:

      06:11pm | 05/04/12

      @ Acotrel

      Clive Caldwell now there’s a name that every Australian should know .... but he didn’t have to fly a Wirraway or Buffalo ...... he was in a Spitfire ...... a Supermarine Spitfire ...... now that was a plane.

      But we agree with Bomber Command as aircrew. Kieth Miller (Australian Batsman who served in Bomber Command) was once asked how he coped with the pressure of batting for Australia. His response, “Pressure?? Pressure is flying at 10,000 feet and being chased by two messershmitts.” or something to that effect.

      460 Squadron, 461 Squdron, 462 Squadron, Dam Busters ...... some lists are too long.

    • Tator says:

      11:45pm | 05/04/12

      Little Joe,
      Miller served with 169 Squadron who flew Mosquitos, a fighter /bomber with enough speed to outrun any Axis fighter even on one engine.  Known as the Wooden Wonder as it was made mainly out of timber, it was produced in various forms, some being fighters with 4 X 20mm cannons and 4 X .303 machine guns and some being unarmed bombers.  As 169 Squadron flew night time intruder missions to seek out German night fighters, I would presume that they flew the fighter variant which is a two seater and heavily armed.  Not really the same as flying in a Lancaster or Halifax heavy bomber.

    • Little Joe says:

      05:12pm | 06/04/12

      @ Tator,

      Mosquitoes were beautiful planes .... remember building a model as a boy.  But the two planes had very similar speeds and if an Me-109 dropped out of a cloud behind a Mosquito with a full bomb load ...... I think there would be a little bit of pressure in the cabin.

      Another great book “Night Fighter” (Rawnsly & Wright, 1957)

    • Craig says:

      07:11am | 05/04/12

      If you look at the rate of incidents on flights versus the number of incidents on the road you’ll find that there are far less idiots riding in the kiddie seats at the backs of airplanes than are driving tonnes of deadly metal on the roads.

      Is this beat up day at The Punch? Your articles are all about logical fallacies that look important on the surface, but are actually fluff pieces.

      Why not run a few stats and then bring to people’s attention what is really dangerous. Like how we’re more likely to be killed by an elephant than a shark.

      Reply

    • acotrel says:

      08:53am | 05/04/12

      @Craig
      You are quite correct.  Something is only dangerous if the risks are not managed appropriately , and the hazard is in the hands of incompetents.
      There is a saying - ‘a coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero but one’ !
      It is important to rationalise danger.

    • acotrel says:

      08:56am | 05/04/12

      Easy fixed !  Just put a St Christopher’s medal into the cockpit of every aircraft !

    • Chris L says:

      01:48pm | 05/04/12

      @Acotrel - No. Use a medallion of Zeboim. She’ll get pissed off if you choose something else.

    • Nyquist says:

      07:40am | 05/04/12

      Flights are so cheap thesedays any bogan can afford to fly. Unfortunately quality of character isnt a prerequisite for being employed as a professional sportsperson, it’s only a bonus when it happens.

      Reply

    • ZSRenn says:

      07:40am | 05/04/12

      On a recent flight Virgin Atlantic back to AU I got up in the early hours to use the bathroom. Two girls arrived and were switching from foot to foot in obvious discomfort so I allowed them to go ahead of me. I then used the bathroom, myself now starting to feel the pressure.

      As I exited the hostess pulled me aside and accused me of pushing a woman out of the way. I responded as above and an elderly Chinese gentleman agreed with me but then added I pushed his wife out of the way. I still do not know today what transpired but the hostess on hearing this then simply suggested we return to our seats.

      Just a little bit pissed off that I had just been accused of assaulting an elderly women, offered no apology or explanation but knowing the rules of flight, where the captain and cabin crew are the law on a plane I returned to sit disgruntled for the rest of the flight.

      Had I have partaken of an extra couple of beers, maybe my reaction would have been less controlled. Having said that my only recourse is to never fly with that airline again and to write in this forum about it. I still wonder however, what if? Could I be have been an example used in this story for simply being polite to fellow passengers and wonder how many of these incidents occur because of the lack of training or empathy of the cabin crew.

      Reply

    • KH says:

      08:37am | 05/04/12

      There is a lesson in here for everyone - don’t let anyone cut in front of you in a queue…...........let them dance!

    • ZSRenn says:

      11:19am | 05/04/12

      grin KH true!

      This isn’t the end of the story though. Returning to China through Hong Kong I approach the check in counter. Knowing that I would be in China until August and with a full residence visa. Not knowing my departure point and vowing never to Fly Virgin Atlantic again after the use of my return ticket. I would purchase my return ticket in China.

      The assistant at the baggage check in decided she worked for Hong Kong border control. Insisting that I couldn’t board the flight because I did not have a return ticket from Hong Kong. Something I have never been asked for once, despite entering Hong Kong some 50 to 60 times.

      After the debate of some 30 minutes and me not budging to purchase the aforementioned ticket. it was decided that I could board but not before I was told that the $4000AU guitar I carried in the cabin with me into Australia had to be put in cargo and the dangers that represents. 

      If this type of treatment of passengers is the norm on this airline. No wonder people go off the rails sometimes.

    • marley says:

      12:40pm | 05/04/12

      @ZSRenn - as a matter of fact, immigration authorities worldwide expect airline check-in staff to do immigration work for them. 

      So, you front-up to the counter and the check-in staff tell you: “You don’t have a return ticket?  Then we won’t let you on the plane.”  What they probably don’t tell you is the reason:  if the law of your country of destination requires a return ticket, and you arrive without one and are detained, then the airline is liable.  Best case is they get fined for letting you on the plane; worst case is they pay for your incarceration and deportation.  And airline head offices don’t like it if they get fined.

      So, if the check-in person seems too interested in your visa status, there’s a reason for it.  Don’t blame her.  She is, actually, doing her job.

    • ZSRenn says:

      01:19pm | 05/04/12

      @ marley ICB I have flown the journey 20 times in the last 5 years mostly with QANTAS, China Southern or Phillipine and have never been asked before! There is no way the airline can be held responsible for my actions. This is a ploy to sell an expensive ticket and nothing else. You just help to spread this little bit of misinformation.

    • L. Mountbatten says:

      01:42pm | 05/04/12

      Marley is right,

      Airlines are now held responsible if the bring in a passenger who doesn’t have a valid Visa etc.

      The major flaw with system of course is they simply don’t have the training to deal with immigration type issues.

      I live overseas and have a “unique” visa which is uncommon even in the country I reside. I have spent countless hours arguing with numerous airlines who insist I can’t enter the country I live in without an exit flight (even though I have a visa, proof that I fly in and out regularly, a driver licence etc in my country of residence).

    • marley says:

      02:46pm | 05/04/12

      @ZSRenn - Sorry, but I’m right.  Airlines most definitely are held responsible if they board someone without the proper documentation. 

      For example, here is the relevant Australian law by which a carrier becomes liable for costs:

      http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ma1958118/s213.html

      Canada, the US and most other countries have similar legislation.  That’s one of the reasons airlines are so reluctant to let people travel internationally on a one-way ticket.  With a two-way ticket, if they have to deport you, their cost has already been covered.

      And just for fun, here’s the Australian legislation which requires the carrier to provide the personal information of all passengers and crew 1 to 3 hours before the plane lands.  If the plane is carrying someone whose visa details are not in order the airline WILL be held liable.

      http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ma1958118/s245l.html

      As Lord Mountbatten says, airline staff aren’t experts at migration, and though they do get some training, they will err on the side of caution in deciding whether to let you board the plane or not.  So, if this happens to you again, just bear in mind it’s not really the fault of the staff, but of the system.

    • ZSRenn says:

      02:46pm | 05/04/12

      ISCB This is an urban myth More evidence here at lonely planet.

      http://www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/thread.jspa?threadID=2128089

      It seems that those countries that do require it, require it at visa application. As Australians do not require a visa in Hong Kong the argument becomes moot!

      It’s a cash grab and as I have said I have never been asked before.

    • marley says:

      03:02pm | 05/04/12

      @ZSRenn -no, it’s not an urban myth.  If, for example, you need a visa to visit Canada or the US or the UK or Australia, you will be asked to present evidence of a return ticket in order to get a visa.  That’s true.  What you’re forgetting is that you will likely ALSO be asked for evidence of that return ticket when you hit the airport on arrival. lf you don’t have it, the airline that carried you will have problems.  So they make damn sure, before boarding you, that you’ve got the required return ticket in your possession. 

      And that’s no urban myth.

    • ZSRenn says:

      03:05pm | 05/04/12

      @ Marley all you had to do is go one step further and read section 166 of the act

      http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/ma1958118/s166.html

      It talks about passports and identifiers but does not mention return tickets

      Your second link is more of the same Passports and Visa yes but return tickets are not mentioned.

      In other words the airline has a responsibility to ensure entry Visa’s and identifiers, where required, are carried but nothing about return tickets.

      ISCB and this is nothing but a continually perpetuated urban myth.

    • marley says:

      03:42pm | 05/04/12

      @ZSRenn - look, Australia has rules, Hong Kong and China have different rules.  It is a fact that many countries do require a return ticket for ordinary visitors (or evidence of capacity to purchase the same).  If you don’t arrive in Australia with a return ticket, you’d better be able to show you’ve got the money to buy a ticket out or you will not be admitted.  And guess who pays for your removal?  That’s where the airline comes in.  So yes, the airlines are going to be cautious about letting you travel on a one way ticket.  Can you blame them?

      Now I don’t know what China’s requirements are for a person entering the PRC with the kind of visa you carry, and that’s what matters.  If there’s a legal requirement that you have a return ticket when you enter China proper, then the Hong Kong airline staff were within their rights.  If there is no such requirement, then I agree they overstepped the boundaries.

      But the main point is, airlines most certainly will/will be held responsible if they carry someone who is denied admission at the destination.  So just bear that in mind if you get a check in agent asking you immigration questions.  They have no choice.

    • marley says:

      04:09pm | 05/04/12

      @ZSRenn - oh, and the section you’ve guoted is about Immigration identifying visa holders.  It’s not about the second part of the equation, which is establishing that they are genuine visitors.  That’s where they might well ask for your return ticket.

    • fairsfair says:

      08:20am | 05/04/12

      How do you have time to play up on a flight within the UK? What a knob.

      I remember settling in for my flight from Heathrow to Dublin…. I’d just got off the 13 hour leg from Honkers to London and before that the 8 hours that got me to Hong Kong from Cairns….

      ... We had just ascended, I kicked off my shoes and opened my book and “cchhhhtttt We are now beginning our descent into Dublin, please ensure your chair is ....”

      How?

      Reply

    • iansand says:

      09:15am | 05/04/12

      Try flying between Sydney and Canberra.  You never get to cruising altitude.  The whole trip is either ascent or descent.

    • marley says:

      12:44pm | 05/04/12

      The flight between Vancouver and Victoria, BC is conducted at 6000 feet.  It’s a 25 minute flight, of which 12 minutes is actually flying time.

    • Chris L says:

      01:54pm | 05/04/12

      Honkers! I’m using that whenever referring to Hong Kong in future! grin

    • Little Joe says:

      02:11pm | 05/04/12

      Try Emerald - Blackwater.

      Then do the island jumps in Torres Strait

    • fairsfair says:

      02:35pm | 05/04/12

      Very similar flight times by the sounds of things, you had hardly taken off before you were landing. How could you start an ice fight with such limited time?

      Mind you I did lizard Island to Cairns once on a very small plane and it was cramped and hot… I would have promoted an ice fight at that point in time….

    • KH says:

      08:41am | 05/04/12

      I was on an overnight train to Sydney once and some drunk guys started throwing lemon sherbets around the carriage…..........seems these people are just attracted to tubular metal structures?!

      Reply

    • Kheiron says:

      12:32pm | 05/04/12

      If so there is a gas pipeline being laid around here. Perhaps they’d like to sit in that for a while.

    • Gregg says:

      08:46am | 05/04/12

      It always amazes me just how little bladder planning some people put into even shorter domestic flights and particularly parents with kids.

      Like, there are usually toilets either in departure areas/lounges or not too far away and it is not all that difficult you would think for someone to use or be directed to go to the toilet if need be in the hour or so before a flight departure.

      And then the plane takes off and as soon as seat belt lights are off, there seems to be an incessant stream of traffic to the aircraft toilets.
      Maybe the kids just want something for show and tell, like I peeed on the aircraft, but it has me wondering and especially when there are then so many adults also going to the loo on what might be a two hour flight at most.

      Are there so many nervous nelly flyers about?

      Reply

    • acotrel says:

      09:13am | 05/04/12

      I’ve stood over a vat full of glycerine while it was being nitrated.  If it goes wrong you could be instantly vapourised.  Flying in aircraft gives me no angst, except when I know that some idiot airline CEO is on a cost cutting crusade, and is prepared to skimp on maintenance.

    • ibast says:

      10:12am | 05/04/12

      “Maybe the kids just want something for show and tell, like I peeed on the aircraft”.

      Yeah for kids it’s about the adventure.  Not only that, from the start of boarding to the point where the seatbelt sign goes off, is about an hour.  So not bad for kids.

      Also you have to factor in kids have hair trigger bladders.  They can go from not having to go to BUSTING in the time it takes to flick on a light switch.  Once they have convinced themselves they need to go there is no turning back.

    • ibast says:

      08:53am | 05/04/12

      I think some of the increase in Plonkerness comes from the phobias associated with flying.  Not just flying itself, but claustrophobia, invasion of personal space, etc.  I helped subdue a bloke on a flight once who had sculled a bottle of vodka as soon as he got on the plane and from then escalated his twatish behavior from that point.  I suspect he was afraid of flying and made some bad choices from there.

      And BTW Jason, part of the magic comes form the fact they are mostly made of aluminium, not steel.

      Reply

    • daf says:

      09:44am | 05/04/12

      @ acotrel - good plan there, but didn’t St. Chris get the flick?

      Reply

    • Mark G says:

      09:58am | 05/04/12

      Its actually a simple equation.

      Axiety about flying + Lack of self control + society of spoiled brats used to getting what they want when they want it + alchol (or drugs) + confined space for significant periods of time = inflight incidents

      Reply

    • RyaN says:

      10:01am | 05/04/12

      Simple, just ban people with iPhones from flying, killing all the birds with one stone.
      1. You get rid of morons who won’t switch their phones off or stop playing annoying games making a racket pissing off passengers (iPhone users)
      2. You get rid of self righteous morons who act like jackasses in public (iPhone users again)
      3. You get rid of the intellectually inferior who clearly cannot follow the rules and are so stupid that they would make bomb jokes in an airport (you’d have to be THAT stupid to buy an iPhone anyway)

      Reply

    • Anubis says:

      12:04pm | 05/04/12

      @ Ryan - you said “Simple, just ban people with iPhones from flying, killing all the birds with one stone”  Shouldn’t that be killing all the pigs with one bird”? Yes, I agree with your summation of iPhone users.

    • pilots perspective says:

      12:06pm | 05/04/12

      The problem started when the unwashed masses started to fly, it is no longer a luxury, its just a fast bus that gets “everyone” from A to B, if CASA did not classify cabin attendants as a safety asset then it would be a bus and you would not have in-flight service.. Like many have mentioned above, alcohol + low atmospheric pressure + confined space = complete and utter morons.

      Btw you think those passengers are bad, my first commercial flying job was literally flying “unwashed” (understatement) aboriginals from remote communities to the regional centre for a variety of reasons, complements of the tax payer of course. No amount of money or love for flying would have me back in that job ever again, it was disgusting.

      To put it in perspective, having flown everything from small boxes to actors, I would opt for the box any day, it does not talk or complain. As for passengers the most civilised are the wealthy and the worst behaved are the FIFO guys and girls, although that has changed a little now that they can and do lose their jobs for causing problems on board.

      ps Acotrel, I would be more concerned with the ridiculously low experience of the cadet pilot up the front of some of the larger aircraft than the maintenance cost cutting, the latter is less likely to kill you if it goes wrong.

      Reply

    • L.Mountbatten says:

      01:47pm | 05/04/12

      You want annoying, rude and unsafe passengers.

      Try living and flying in Asia….

      Reply

    • Little Joe says:

      07:42pm | 05/04/12

      Try living and flying in Africa!!

    • marley says:

      11:17am | 06/04/12

      Ever flown in the former USSR?  Not for the faint of heart - passengers, crew and aircraft each reason enough on their own for angst;  combine them, and you have either the most regimented flight you’ve ever been on, or the most anarchic.  All depends how much vodka is on hand.

    • Utopia Boy says:

      02:32pm | 06/04/12

      @ Marley,
      I worked with some Russian pilots for the UN.
      Their priorities were vodka and women.
      Never on time and always smelling like they had just rolled out of a night club, which they probably had.
      One even decided to go for a swim one night, and as a consequence missed his first task in the morning - he drowned, drunk, two hours before he was supposed to be at work.
      I’ll give them this though - very good pilots with big, big balls. Hot spots are not a problem at all.

    • stephen says:

      09:23pm | 05/04/12

      Yeah they are funny things.
      I often ride near the airport and I look up and see 200 tonnes flying a half-mile up and doing about 200 kays an hour ... and it’s still up.
      All that energy to keep a thing airborne only to get people from one place to another.
      You’d think that in the information age everybody would want instead to get out their skype and touchpads and call up, instead of actually wanting to touch and kiss and smell our loved-ones and to hug each other when we cry.
      Maybe, then, planes are bringers of love and confirmnent.

      Hey, just thought of a new TV series : The Love Jet.

      Reply

    • Utopia Boy says:

      02:23pm | 06/04/12

      Despite all the warnings, a plane has never crashed because a passenger has their mobile phone turned on during take off and landing.

      Despite their being no requirement, my wife is told EVERY TIME she checks in to fly from Sydney to Muscat (Emirates Airline) that she has to have a return / onward ticket and pre approved visa . She doesn’t.

      Regardless of the right wing fascist government policies surrounding security at airports and while on planes, talking or making a joke about a bomb has never magically made one appear or explode.

      Regardless of their sense of self importance after the extra training the company puts them through, supplied by “ex special forces soldier XYZ,” air hostesses are their to bring me coffee, beer and food. They are not security experts. Show me where the emergency exits are, how to operate them in an emergency and I’ll do the rest if there is a problem.

      What are the “safety reasons” that require me to open the blinds during take off and landing?

      Reply

    • ddavo says:

      11:21am | 07/04/12

      I would suggest this post by Utopia Boy is a perfect example why airlines continue to be plagued by moron passengers. Consider his attitude; he KNOWS that mobile phones have never caused a plane to crash, so why should he be required to turn it off whilst flying? Further, he arrogantly asserts cabin staff are only there to serve him drinks and food, they have obviously no other function on the plane. He shows no understanding that airlines really do not want their planes to crash and go to great lengths to try and minimise all the myriad factors that have, in previous incidents, cause a plane to crash. Nah, to him all these rules are aimed at preventing him to do as he wants. So this jerk, generally fuelled by booze, is your travelling companion, and he has, unfortunately, many clones; that is why I prefer to fly as infrequently as possible.

 
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