Once upon a time, in a mythical kingdom called Canberra which most people don’t really believe exists, a lady called Cindergillard lost her shoe.

Renovations at The Lodge were coming along nicely

The lady didn’t lose her shoe at a big fancy schmancy ball, but what can you do? Ball, restaurant, same effect.

The hunt was on. Who would the shoe fit? In ye olde days, they settled this kind of issue door-to-door. On this occasion, the matter was handled in the mercenary manner of the interwebs.

The good people of the land wanted the shoe to be reunited with its rightful owner, even if it was a moderately priced item in the mid $100 range. They had, after all, subsidised the shoe through their taxes.

But did they want Cindergillard to live happily ever after?

Alas, they did not. Despite the ignominy and sheer physical endangerment of the shoe-shedding incident, the worthy citizenry did not change their feelings towards Cindergillard.

They could not forgive her fairy godmothers Bill Shorten and Mark Arbib for slaying Prince Kevin of Griffith to get her inside the royal palace in the first place.

They bore no resentment towards Cindergillard’s ugly stepsister Antoniabbott, even though he kept sweeping the floor of Parliament with her.

And frankly, they couldn’t give a stuff whether she lived happily ever after with Prince Tim of Scissorhands at Castle Kirribilli

All of which proves that politics is most assuredly no fairy tale.

Cindergillard showed both dignity and resilience in yesterday’s unfortunate scuffle.

But after stealing a slipper late last year, the citizens of the kingdom won’t be crying mops and buckets over her lost shoe.

Most commented

51 comments

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    • poa says:

      01:10pm | 27/01/12

      Lets see.
      Gingerella’s office picked the site for the award’s ceremony across the road from the embassy.
      Gingerella’s office apparently rang the protestors both misrepresenting Abbot’s remarks and where to find him!
      Gingerella’s mate at the ABC asked Abbot the loaded question on bloody Australia Day!
      And somehow Gingerella gets caught up in this.
      Sheesh guys…..They can’t even organise an ambush correctly!

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      01:19pm | 27/01/12

      @poa- That’s right, it is all a conspiracy by the ALP….Keep taking the medication…....

    • Another flop says:

      01:53pm | 27/01/12

      Yeah,the moore you watch it the more fabricated it looks,otherwise someone would get jail,nice try but no banana Juliar

    • Disco Stu says:

      02:20pm | 27/01/12

      She’s a hell of an actress then. How anyone could fake looking that scare can’t be humanly possible! The nutty-slanted Liberals can’t help themselves, can’t keep it in their pants for ever half a day!!! If you really believe that conveniently joined load of crap, Another flop is right, you need medical help!!

    • Poa says:

      02:33pm | 27/01/12

      POlice are investigating and charges “may yet be laid”.
      Hmmmm..wonder if they’ll report any faster than the 3 years it takes to look at other ALP luminaries?
      Everybody knows Gillard’s biggest problem isn’t Tony ABbot…..It’s more like her Foreign Minister!
      Everybody realize she didn’t deny it….just knowledge of it, and that’s she’s too busy to find out? Hmmm mm!

    • Rick of the Dustbowl says:

      03:40pm | 27/01/12

      Tell me something about that fairy tale.Why does everything but the glass slipper turn back at midnight? The carrige turns back to a pumkin the footmen turn back into mice. In the real version the ugly stepsister cuts off her big toe so she can fit into the slipper, what’s tones going to cut off? .........dont tell me….....the budgie!

    • Chris L says:

      04:01pm | 27/01/12

      They’re still blaming Keating for a global recession in the 90’s Shane. Best to not get them worked up or they’ll have to wear the jacket.

    • jf says:

      04:37pm | 27/01/12

      Shane From Melbourne says:02:19pm | 27/01/12

      “@poa- That’s right, it is all a conspiracy by the ALP….Keep taking the medication….... “

      Yeah poa, keep it real. No-one in politics would ever leak a story to make life difficult for the other side.

    • Poa says:

      05:48pm | 27/01/12

      staffer sacked.
      Gillard looked genuinely terrified.
      Maybe Abbot wasn’t the only one being set up?

    • Chris L says:

      06:10pm | 27/01/12

      Strueth! It was a Labor staffer! I actually underestimated how pointlessly spiteful politicians can be!

      I retract my earlier comment and apologise.

    • acotrel says:

      05:26am | 28/01/12

      I wonder if anyone really believes that the press didn’t know that Tony Abbott would cause a riot when he answered that question ? They were probably all there salivating !

    • poa says:

      07:39am | 28/01/12

      Actually acotrel..I wonder if anyone rang the media from the PM’s office and told them to get their cameras to some awards function.
      Guess the police investigation will work that out.
      Lets not forget..this was a political assasination here. Using the media and public opinion to destroy a Coalition Leader.
      Was this all the work of some crazed “lone gunmen” or was Tony Abbots personal safety and that of the PSO’s at risk due to more from the PM;s Office.? The sacked bloke was one of 4 senior media advisors to Gillard. Pretty senior.

      Hmmm?

    • kaz says:

      09:20am | 28/01/12

      poa, have you ever thought about a career in writing conspiracy novels?
      Gee, if only Julia hadn’t faked providing assistance to Tony Abbott, we may have had some real blood and guts for page 3.

    • poa says:

      02:07pm | 28/01/12

      Know a little bit about PSO’s kaz.
      They would NEVER let themselves be filmed with the PM unless it was bloody serious. Julia’s concern may have been Julia 2.0 or real Julia ior whatever. No-one believes her anymore.
      And just what WERE all that media doind there…they go to these things regularly?
      as for conspiracy theories….well lets just say when all this is out in the open we’ll know more.

    • Tom says:

      03:16pm | 28/01/12

      Is this another Labor fanbois journalist trying to plead that it is all a joke?

      I am not sure that making light of racial divisiveness is all that amusing given the bitter history involved.

      Let’s see it as it really is, a disgusting piece of gutter politics by cynical Labor grubs.

    • dancan says:

      01:17pm | 27/01/12

      My only question is, did she make it back home before midnight when she turns into a pumpkin?

    • Cynicised says:

      09:31pm | 27/01/12

      She doesn’t turn into pumpkin, you ninny, the coach does. Gingerella is still the same squeaky clean, rightful inheritor she always was.

    • Chris L says:

      11:31pm | 27/01/12

      The fairy godmother granted her a diaphram that turns into a pumpkin at midnight. Fortunately that isn’t a problem due to her friend Peter… Peter… something or other.

    • Kate Buckle says:

      01:56pm | 27/01/12

      The footage shows Cindergillard and then Antoniabbott being shoved in their pumpkin carriage for the get away ... that would have been an amazing car to be in.

      -This is all YOUR fault!
      -Me??
      -Damn right! If you didn’t have such ridiculous ideas…
      -Me? Ridiculous? Have you seen your hair cut?
      -Oh again with the personal attacks! Can’t believe I have to spend a whole car ride with you.
      -That’s it - driver, let me out! I’d rather be mobbed.

      And the best part is…it works for either one.

    • sunny says:

      08:58pm | 27/01/12

      Yeah classic just like in Romancing The Stone. Would’ve been good if they had to escape by swinging on a vine across a river while the natives threw spears and blew poison darts at them. Then as Bob Brown (in the Danny De Vito character) met them on the other side of the river, the arguments and bickering would start up again.

    • St. Michael says:

      02:17pm | 27/01/12

      And in news just to hand, 200 protesters supporting the Tent Embassy have marched on Parliament House, and, among other things, have burned an Australian flag.

      Need better PR advice, guys?

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      05:13pm | 27/01/12

      Anyone know if flag burning is a criminal offence in Australia?

    • St. Michael says:

      06:10pm | 27/01/12

      It isn’t, which is to say any sort of charge along those lines wouldn’t make it to trial.

      Oh, criminal damage is a charge, but you’d have to find the item’s owner to make the complaint—and then the issue is whether the Australian Constitution’s implied right to free speech on political matters thereby extinguishes a criminal charge brought on the subject.  There was a young moron over here in Western Australia who did the same sort of thing a few years ago, and they dropped the charge against him either because it wasn’t in the public interest to proceed ... or because of the fact that if the case went ahead, they would literally have had to invite every Attorney-General from every State in Australia to be at the proceedings, since it involved a constitutional issue of immense importance.

      Still doesn’t do them many favours in the court of public opinion, though.  You’d think the Left could have come up with something more original than flag burning, the hippies in the US did it quite literally 50 years ago.

    • BJ says:

      09:10pm | 27/01/12

      Shane

      Burn an aboriginal flag and you will find out.

    • acotrel says:

      06:49am | 28/01/12

      @Shane
      Does anyone know if burning Tony Abbott is a criminal offence ?

    • steiner says:

      04:23pm | 27/01/12

      Let’s get real.  The police completely overreacted.  To any impartial observer, there never appeared to be any threat to Gillard.
      To drum this up into a ‘race riot’, or some statement of Australian democracy is just absurd.

    • Hoob says:

      08:22pm | 27/01/12

      Maybe you should be the target of a race riot to understand.

    • marley says:

      06:47am | 28/01/12

      To this impartial observer (I don’t like any of the parties) there was a crowd behaving in a highly intimidating manner towards the two most prominent politicians in Australia.  The police did their job, protecting the PM and Abbott, and pushing the crowd away without anyone getting hurt.  I don’t know what the hell else you expected them to do.

    • GB says:

      04:54pm | 27/01/12

      “Prince Tim of Scissorhands”

      LOL.

      Golf clap for that one Ant.

    • The Bottom Line says:

      04:57pm | 27/01/12

      The Bottom Line on Australian federal politics is simple
      All federal politicians deserve spears up their bottoms and clips over the ears with boomerangs.

    • Ants and Tories says:

      04:59pm | 27/01/12

      The lesson is simple.
      Ants and Tories should not make mountains out of mole hills.

    • RyaN says:

      07:38pm | 27/01/12

      This isn’t England silly pommie, there are no Tories here.

    • Foiled,A Folly says:

      05:20pm | 27/01/12

      Funny how the Press was right there when Gillard feigned concern for Tony,choreographed by Hawker Britton and Sussex st,Propaganda Obvious

    • Craig says:

      05:46pm | 27/01/12

      I’m awaiting another post by Kuali…........C’mon Kuali, fire up!

    • Abasiama says:

      06:09pm | 27/01/12

      How this topic came to be on The Punch, the most widely read Nigerian newspaper is baffling. Who, one humbly asks is cindergillard, but more importantly, a thousand pardons, who or what is anthony sharwood. One has never heard of it. One must keep up to date on other affairs. Allah be with you.

    • VVS says:

      06:45pm | 27/01/12

      Nigeria, huh?

      I guess I should send you my bank details now so you can make that deposit we were talking about…?

    • HuH,I laugh says:

      07:04pm | 27/01/12

      @Shane from Malbin,You are exactly what Gillard uses to make a fool of,suck it up princess

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      07:16pm | 27/01/12

      Was there a conspiracy by the government to embarass Tony Abbott? No. Did a staffer within Gillard’s office step over the line? Yes. Did the protesters yesterday step over the line? Yes.
      BTW that’s Melbourne, not Malbin.

    • Tom says:

      08:49am | 29/01/12

      You are entitled to express an opinion, Shane. My opinion is that this reeks of Gillard and probably a few other Labor grubs.

    • GB says:

      08:42pm | 27/01/12

      Not sure how you can be so certain Shane. Your fellow ALP fanboys were all over Ray Hadley earlire saying he made the whole thing up. The more that comes out the more it looks like the whole thing was a setup to me.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      09:40pm | 27/01/12

      Yeah right the government has control over the actions of mobs. They really would endanger the Prime Minister to embarass Tony Abbott? I don’t think so. The actions of one dumb ass staffer does not make a conspiracy…..

    • acotrel says:

      06:54am | 28/01/12

      It would be interesting to know who asked Tony Abbott that question !

    • poa says:

      07:47am | 28/01/12

      To get this to happen
      a) the PM’s Office had to place Abbot in the vicinity of the tent embassy on “Invasion Day… Who picked the venue..THE PMO
      b) Abbot had to be asked about the tent embassy on Australia Day
      c) Someone had to to Misrepresent Abbots words and tell them where to find him
      (That sure happened)
      d) Someone had to stir the crowd.  A former Greens candidate sure did that.
      We even had all the media on hand to record it, Gee Wh?y. Someoneone ring them to tell them.? When?
      Answer these questions and ask whether Gillards Senior Media Advisor (one of 4) is a crazed “lone gunman” acting alone or whether this is a political assassination by the media of a Coalition leader.
      If thats the case…the GG must call fresh elections.

    • GB says:

      10:32am | 28/01/12

      Still so cocksure Shane? This gets worse by the hour. Now we hear 2 staffers were seen in discussion with the protesters in the lobby before this all went down. If you honestly think this was all the work of one rogue media adviser you’re more rusted on than I gave you credit for.

    • Gregg says:

      07:41am | 28/01/12

      Ant, you ran out of breath getting this up so fast didn’t you!
      Like
      ” They bore no resentment towards Cindergillard’s ugly stepsister Antoniabbott, even though he kept sweeping the floor of Parliament with her. “
      A stepsister who’s a he! or are we too close to the Mardigras
      Julia does have that prominent wicked witch nose though.

    • Marilyn Shepherd says:

      03:10pm | 28/01/12

      Hello, wake up call.  People are allowed to talk to each other in this democratic country.

      If you don’t want people to talk to each other go to North Korea.

      This is the most amazing beat up about nothing.

    • marley says:

      06:15am | 29/01/12

      Well, Marilyn, here’s the deal.  People are indeed allowed to talk to one another.  They’re not allow to intimidate or threaten one another though.  And, while not illegal, screaming profanities and insults at those with whom you disagree isn’t actually “talking to” one another.

      Reasoned, respectful explanation and argument can be effective in educating people, even in swaying their views.  Pounding on glass walls, burning flags, howling insults, trying to shout people down, achieves does neither.  The Aborigines involved in this protest have damaged the cause of Aborigines enormously through their actions.  What they’ve done is akin to what you do every time you spit venom about refugees:  you damage the cause you supposedly promote.  They (and you) should give way to better informed, more articulate people who can actually achieve something.

    • Rick of the Dustbowl says:

      02:47pm | 30/01/12

      Marley , Damage the cause of the aboriginies? dont you think the damage was done in 1770?

    • marley says:

      05:59pm | 30/01/12

      @Rick of the dustbowl - we can all be purists about what ought to be, but if we want to improve things, we have to be realists about what is.  Right or wrong, this country has been colonized and Aborigines have suffered as a result.  We can’t go back to 1700, though, so how do the Aborigines make the best use of public sympathy, legal rights, political pressure, and whatever weapons they might have?  Courts, Parliaments, public pressure - progress has been made, nowhere near enough, but progress - but I reckon this whole debacle has set back the progress being made by the real people working in the trenches for legal change back by years.  They must be spitting nails.

    • Craig says:

      05:23am | 29/01/12

      So where’s her fairy godmother?

      She must have stamped off in a huff after being denied the right to marry her girlfriend.

 

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