I felt nothing when Michael Jackson died. It’s not like I didn’t try to summon a tear but in the end the only emotion I could rustle up was ambivalence. This was surprising because usually when a celebrity dies, I do feel sad. Often extremely so.

When Natasha Richardson died, for example, I was deeply affected, even though I couldn’t name a single film she was in. When John Lennon died, I was terribly sad, even though I was only vaguely aware of The Beatles and I was only nine.

But when one of the world’s biggest pop stars died back in June, someone whose music had been the soundtrack to decades of my life, I was oddly unmoved. As much as I tried, I simply couldn’t connect to any great sense of loss or tap into that massive international out-pouring of grief.

Eventually, I realised it was because the Michael Jackson I loved died a long time before 2009. By the time of his actual death, he had become, to me, a pop cultural oddity. A human circus. Famous for things utterly unrelated to his music. Things that made me extremely uncomfortable. Things like the trials for child molestation and the evidence that was presented about his relationships with children.

Don’t get me started on that. It won’t end well.

I found this out when I posted as much on my website in the weeks after his death and was screamed down by furious fans who were outraged that anyone could express anything other than blind adulation for their dead icon.

So needless to say, I wasn’t carrying a bucket of excitement when I went to see the MJ movie This Is It last weekend. A bunch of my friends and their kids were going to see it and so I just kind of went along because I had nothing better to do.
Two hours later, I walked out of that cinema with a profound sadness and a real sense of loss FINALLY.
The movie is a documentary of sorts, although not really. During the months of rehearsals for his economically-necessitated ‘farewell’ concert that was due to take place in London this year, film crews captured more than 100 hours of footage. This included Michael rehearsing with dancers and back-up singers and making video segments that would have featured throughout the concerts.

This Is It: The Concert was going to be epic. Massive. Extravagant. And yet, the epicentre of it all was Michael Jackson THE PERFORMER. Strip away all the razzle and the dazzle and you were left with an astonishingly talented individual.
Watching the film, this was a wonderful thing to be reminded of, the fact that he was a performer. An extraordinary one. Sadly, one who became so removed from reality that he became….....a freak show. His life, his face, his family….it was all so heavily shrouded in weird.
What this movie does is strip back all of that and focus on Michael Jackson as a performer. Clearly though, it’s still a portrait painted entirely in rosy. Of more than 100 hours of footage, the hour or two we have is very tightly edited and unflinchingly positive.
Don’t go expecting a proper documentary or hoping for any clues as to how and why he died because you’ll be disappointed. Surely there were days when he didn’t show up to rehearsal or was out of it or dropped his game. But we see none of that. What we do see is a slightly different and slightly more candid MJ than the one who spoke at press conferences or in media interviews.

His voice - when talking normally - is far lower than the high-pitched breathiness he put on for the public. And musically, he knows his stuff in extreme technical detail. He is not a child or a victim when he’s in performer mode although it’s woefully apparent that he remained surrounded by sycophants until the end, which can’t have been a healthy thing.

What also struck me while watching the movie was that Michael Jackson was an incredible artist but one who didn’t evolve. All the things that made him so groundbreaking and unique in the 70s and 80s (crotch grabbing and moon walking etc) just didn’t translate into the 90s and 00s world of performers and music videos.

When he was still coming out in his white suits with the cropped pants and the fedora and grabbing his balls and squealing in those songs he released in more recent years while trying in vain for a come-back….well, it was cringey. It felt wrong and undignified. Humiliating.

But when you see him in concert (or in rehearsals at least) in a purely Michael Jackson context, it works. Oh how it works. His talent and genius is able to shine and make you feel nostalgic for those Off The Wall and Thriller years, which he was never able to recapture. And to appreciate them and feel sad about what a mess he made of his life.

This Is It is already the highest grossing concert film of all time and that’s not surprising. It’s certainly a fitting tribute to a great artist although the propaganda argument is undeniable.

As one friend said, “I walked into that movie thinking he was a paedophile and walked out thinking he was a misunderstood genius.”

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20 comments

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    • Liz says:

      07:23am | 19/11/09

      So no compassion then for a sad, misunderstood life?

    • Jason Ealey says:

      07:38am | 19/11/09

      This piece nails it as far as I am concerned. I was somewhat numbed when Michael Jackson died. When I watched the film, I was overcome with sadness.He was weird yes. He was a fantastic performer yes, but there was no other like him.  His death was a great loss. We won’t be without MJ for long though. Just you wait for the onslaught of DVD sales promotion heading our way ( for Xmas I’m sure).In fact we’ll be seeing way more Michael Jackson over the next few years with secret film, unrelased songs, Jackson reunion tour with MJ video accompanying etc etc etc.

    • Simple Symon says:

      08:25am | 19/11/09

      I fail to understand a number of things pertaining to Michael Jackson but none more so than the out of court settlement of $22m to the Chandler family…..regardless of how independently wealthy Jackson Inc were, to pay-out that sum of money reeks of guilt and even before the pay-out the damage had surely been done.  Image is everything, particularly in showbiz and the various parties who had a vested interest in MJ selling records, concerts etc, may have exerted pressure to pay-out at any price for damage limitation purposes but the proverbial equine creature had long bolted…..........obviously, the evidence must’ve been somewhat damning for a settlement of that magnitude to have been paid.  The recent reported suicide of Jordy Chandler’s father suggests that there were on-going issues with the family.  One thing I can’t fathom is the number of facebook friends who are so quick to absolve MJ of any of his reputed sins and are the same people so vehmently attacking Dennis Ferguson.  I’m certainly not an apologist for people of his ilk and I’m very much in the NIMBY brigade when it comes to accomodating Ferguson (as opposed to some of the NIMBY left-wing causes).  The fact that MJ was a genius shouldn’t be taken into account when thinking about whether he was a paedophile or not, as it shouldn’t when talking about Roman Polanski.  Were Ferguson a flawed genius would that make him and his actions any less repugnant?  Sad as it is, that Jackson seemingly led a tortured life which may or not have led to an unreal existence and seedy practices, it can’t just be brushed over because he was such a musical talent.

    • Saddened says:

      09:18am | 19/11/09

      Simple Symon says: - well said - my thoughts exactly. I had no emotion other then disgust when he died. People forgot about the seedy things he had done. I am sure most would be shocked if their 40 YO neighbour was letting kids sleep in his bed, but because it was MJ, it was all OK. Wake up people. I don’t care who he was or how talented he was, his past was still questionable.

    • Joe Stephens says:

      09:51am | 19/11/09

      Simple Symon: you OBVIOUSLY haven’t seen the film clip to Thriller!!

    • adam macleod says:

      10:01am | 19/11/09

      A while ago I spent a lunchtime surfing the net, trying to find out for myself whether the allegations against Jackson (& his treatment of young boys) were infact true.  At the end of it all I honestly had reached no conclusion.  I think the truth about whether he was a peadophile or not may never come out. 

      Also “Bad” was a pretty decent album.

    • Simple Symon says:

      10:03am | 19/11/09

      Joe, I have seen the film-clip any number of times though not recently.  What does that have to do with what I’ve written?

    • Joe Stephens says:

      10:14am | 19/11/09

      Simple Symon: wait for the Thriller blu-ray to come out just in time to fill up your Christmas stocking! Then you can relive the magic over and over again in HD!

      Barely has anything to do with what you have written. Much like a convicted person baely has anything to do with an innocent person. Although, if Dennis Ferguson learnt to moonwalk, he’d be a much likeable guy.

    • Simple Symon says:

      10:46am | 19/11/09

      You’re ‘aving a laff Joe, I presume!

      “One man’s meat is another man’s poison” to quote Rex Mossop, Britt Ekland or was it Billy Birmingham?  Regardless, there are many who seemingly grant impugnity to so-called stars just because of their ability to act, sing or, in these days, appear in Big Brother.  The same people who fawn over the stars’ every movement (yes, including bowel) would be quick to condemn the feral, methadone user ‘earning’ social security for their drug-induced state.  The lack of consistency is galling.

    • Bruce says:

      10:48am | 19/11/09

      Great article. Could not have said it better myself. “Ambivalence” was also my feelings. I felt some sorrow, but that was about it. “Then the media took over”, that killed it, I just turned the television off. I was never a great fan, however, he did some good stuff, eg Thriller, that was about it. I have no intentions seeing the movie. This is about providing a legacy, money making excersize into the future, along the likes of The Beatles, and Elvis Presley. As far as I am concerned MJ was an entertainer / artist of the 70’s and 80’s, after that, it became stail. MJ did not evolve. If a 50 year old man now got up on stage, grabbed his nuts, thrust towards the audience and went “OWW”  in a high pitch voice there would be hell to pay in the media.

    • stephen says:

      11:29am | 19/11/09

      He wasn’t a natural performer/communicator. Vanity often leads to violence. In his case, it lead to MTV.

    • Izzy says:

      12:57pm | 19/11/09

      Michael Jackson did not evolve from his signature 70s and 80s style, and that’s one of the reasons I love him.
      Too many contemporary music videos and their dances feature muscly, beefy looking men surrounded by scantily clad women dancing and chanting. To me, this doesn’t qualify as music.
      MJ was an undeniably gifted musician. He planned to celebrate his talent through the This Is It tour, and this movie is a testament to that. It was not intended to be a demonstration of his evolution; instead, a showcase of his remarkable talent.

    • CJ says:

      01:54pm | 19/11/09

      Well said Mia. I felt nothing when he died, not like i did when Heath Ledger died for example. And then you have to put up with all these MJ fans coming out of the woodwork, posting status updates saying RIP MJ…enough to drive a girl nuts!

      It is very upsetting for his kids though, and it’s good that they are being kept out of the limelight in all this mad circus. Well, as much as they can be.

    • TLC says:

      03:46pm | 19/11/09

      Excellent artist.
      Sad life.
      Used person.
      Music genus.
      Confused.
      People pleaser.
      Tormented.
      Never forgotten.

    • JAK says:

      10:09am | 20/11/09

      As already mentioned - well said Mia, you captured it perfectly.
      I must say, if he was the alleged paedophile then imagine the torment for those kids now as his ‘genius’ legacy is put on a pedestal with this movie.

      Money can make people say crazy things & prescription drugs can make people do despicable acts.

    • Mel says:

      01:38pm | 20/11/09

      @Mia. So glad someone else feels this way. Creepy old Whacko Jacko certainly stopped having any relevance to me since the whole molestation allegations, too. I absolutely loved him in the ‘80s, even had the doll. I felt sick to my stomach when he died. Not because of the loss of a great superstar but at the gross hypocrisy of the weeping “fans” that had appeared all around me. Back during the trials I never heard anyone supporting him. Sorta reminds me of my cranky, mean, alcoholic grandfather who everyone was terrified of. At his funeral the family spoke about him like he was a god. Ten years on they still talk as though he was a great man. Everyone believes their own reality, I guess.
      I can’t wait to see the film. I’m hoping to get back some of that adoration and wonder I felt for him when I was a child. Way better than this ambivalence.

    • Eve says:

      03:47pm | 09/12/09

      MJ did indeed evolve. But to see this you need to search further back, before the stagnant days of ‘Invincible’ and ‘HiStory’ when MJ was already plagued with accusations of molestation and money problems. Listen to ‘Off The Wall’, then compare this to ‘Thriller’ and ‘Bad’ and even ‘Dangerous’. MJ built himself as an artist and created trademark moves and sounds, but there were so many innovations in the way he styled and presented his music (i.e. video clips, performances). Yes, he does always perform ‘Billie Jean’ with a black fedora, cut off pants and a rhinestone glove, and I’ve never heard him change the sound of this song in his performances – but why would you when you already have perfection? In the 70s he was a mere puppet of music moguls. As for the late 90s and naughties, I don’t count songs from this era has part of his legacy and he was probably distracted with other things. However, in MJ’s reign as the King of Pop from the 80s until mid 90s, he definitely evolved.

    • Riss says:

      12:36pm | 27/07/10

      @Mia and other haters, I’m proud to say, that as a 12 year old girl, MICHAEL WAS NOT A PEDOPHILE, it’s sad enough that all the people who thought he was a pedophile believed the media “oh i saw the trial video”, that crap could’ve been edited. So don’t believe the media, well all of the time, if u listened closely, he said he let the kids sleep in his bed, Mculley Culken (or however you say his name) said the guy had a the size of two bedrooms in one, he slept somewhere else in the room, upstairs actually. He was a legend! So don’t post shit up, if you don’t even know for sure. Oh, and excuse me for my language. HE IS NOT WHACKO JACKO, that family went after his money, smart ass’s, (again with the language).

    • Jessica says:

      02:26am | 09/09/11

      I believe, as a mother, that Michael couldn’t be a paedophile. If my child was molested in that fashion I wouldn’t of settled for any amount of money. I would want the persecutor publicly humiliated and known for what he/she was and did. I feel if the boy was really molestered, his parents would want the same.

    • Mah says:

      06:46am | 11/12/11

      I am proud to say that I never doubted Michael when he was tried for molestation charges. Never. I had complete faith in him… He was never that sort of person, to begin with… Yes, he was misunderstood, and bashed, and ridiculed at and conspired against. He was insecure, emotional and too kind. But he never was a Pedo…

 

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