He was a husband, a father, a son, a lover of food and four-wheel drives and a passionate soldier.
And now there is a chance that Lance-Corporal Jared MacKinney might be remembered because of the furore that erupted over footage of the Opposition Leader uttering the phrase ``s—t happens’’ during a discussion about how the young man lost his life in Afghanistan.
If this incident leads to the downfall of Tony Abbott, it would be a tragedy and another sad footnote in the events surrounding the death of a fine, respected soldier.
Lance-Cpl MacKinney deserves better, far, far better, given who he was and what he did than to be remembered for this. In his widow Beckie’s words, the Channel 7 news on Tuesday night was like a scab being ripped off a wound that is in the early stages of healing.
She saw herself on TV at his funeral. She saw images of him and them together and all because of something that was not really news.
The behaviour of the reporter, pulling a statement out of context and twisting it, has disappointed her, she says. I would use stronger words.
Beckie is my friend and it has been a learning experience to watch the behaviour of some members of my profession around Lance-Cpl MacKinney’s death and the events that followed.
Many have been ethical and dignified. Some have displayed appalling predatory behaviour that is embarrassing.
Beckie is sad today, not because of what Abbott said, but because the most traumatic event in her 26 years is again the subject of discussion, public opinion and criticism.
S—t does happen, Beckie says. She knows this because it has happened to her.
Apart from the shock and trauma of having her 28-year-old husband die suddenly in a land far away a little over five months ago, Beckie has endured television footage of the firefight in which he died, the suggestion that he died because of poor military decision-making and now the Abbott saga, without warning.
The stories were just there on the nightly news.
The journalists breaking the stories did not notify her about those stories airing.
It is hard for a family that is tiptoeing through grief. It is hard when they are fragile and tears are still at the surface.
If her husband had died in a car crash, Beckie’s and her family’s grief would be as painful but it would be private.
Because he was slain in a war zone, as a member of the army and during an operation the Federal Government felt the nation needed to be a part of, everything is different.
That he was such a passionate soldier and so proud to be a part of the effort in Afghanistan helps Beckie get through each day.
She has had, from the beginning, an unshakable belief that everything was in order the day her husband was shot. The boys were well trained, the right equipment was available and the action was well planned.
The Premier, Opposition Leader and Prime Minister were present at Lance-Cpl MacKinney’s funeral, when his beautiful widow was racked with the unthinkable combination of inconsolable grief and labour pains. The leaders were all deeply compassionate towards Beckie and her family. Beckie said Abbott was a decent and good person, treating her and the reverence of the funeral with care and concern. He was the same when he called her on Tuesday night to discuss the Channel 7 story.
Beckie cares not a jot about politics, or the kerfuffle around this latest event. She says her husband would not have cared less, either.
The ``s—t happens’’ drama will die down and life will go on for Beckie.
She is so strong for one who has lost so much in such horrific circumstances. Her response to that observation is ``I have to be. I have two babies to look after.’‘
Since her husband died, Beckie has given birth to their son Noah, celebrated their daughter Annabell’s third birthday, endured their first Christmas apart in 10 years and suffered through the loneliness on their fifth wedding anniversary.
Life goes on, as it must. Noah, a beautiful boy, is teething. Annabell has started kindergarten. The soldiers who were with Lance-Cpl MacKinney in Afghanistan his closest mates are back with their wives and girlfriends. Beckie’s circle of friends has changed shape.
She has remarkable family support, but is ultimately without the love of her life.
On Sunday, after taking her children to the beach at Happy Valley near Caloundra, Beckie realised that her husband’s stainless steel wedding ring had slipped from her hand in the sea or on the sand.
She had lost another token of him, of them and of their too-short life together. She is bereft, but says there is no point wishing for the situation to be different.
It is gone, like he is gone.
More than anyone in this whole sorry saga, Beckie knows first-hand that despite the best-laid plans and the biggest hopes and dreams, the most unthinkable things can happen.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
In my sports column on The Punch tomorrow: why Eurovision was easily the best game on the weekend. Mummy bloggers, you'll like this one!
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Abbott’s crass logic: trash the Parliament in order save it
An email was sent to almost every politician in Australia this week saying that someone should cut off…
Our special forces don’t always need special treatment
We admire them, but we’re not entirely sure why. We allow them to operate in the shadows; we rarely…
A good holiday is about unrest, not rest
Like a fat full-stop, it lay in my hand. A small orange – not exactly fresh, but purchased anyway…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
Michael S says:
"A teacher at Geelong Grammar had criticised her for using words that were too long, which had left her confused and had made her doubt her ability to write essays. She became ''quite distressed'' when her English marks began to fall." I can sympathise. My scholastic mentors conveyed to me a causal relationship… [read more]From: Welfare for breeders is a bonus for everyone
Change Up! says:
I have no problem paying my taxes. As a single, childless person on a very decent income, I can afford it and not have my life severely altered. Plus I understand that my taxes paying for things like schools, childcare and infrastructure is ultimately a good thing. A better community is better for me… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
They must pay for one’s bitter disappointments
A private school girl’s family is sueing her elite, extremely expensive private school for not… Read more
Most commented