Okay, I’m going to say it. Les Miserables sucked.

There. I can’t take it back.
We could have done a Phantom Menace and lied to ourselves for months, but I think it’s better to accept the truth now. Ahhh, that’s good. It’s a load off my chest. [Ed note: Spoilers follow].
It’s difficult to see a movie with unfair expectations. They talk of “Oscar buzz” before anyone sits in a cinema.
We have been told for months that we will love this film - so surely there must be something wrong with me when I don’t! The Emperor must be wearing clothes.
I went to the cinema with the best of intentions. I had never seen the live performance and the books remain on my shelf unread.
I wasn’t going to compare it with anything.
It was Gladiator v Wolverine with some help from Catwoman - singing about how terrible life is in post-revolutionary France. And I really wanted to like it.
But instead I found Hugh overacting, Rusty refusing to act and Hathaway (spoiler alert) dead in the first couple of scenes.
It’s not that Hugh and Rusty were bad singers - they just weren’t very good. Kinda like when Nicole tried to sing in Moulin Rouge. Or when Lazenby tried to be Bond.
Oh, and there’s no dialogue. At all! The film lasts 158 minutes and every word is sung.
And after hearing some of the younger performers sing, you notice just how weak Hugh and Rusty were.
The most redeeming thing about the film had to be the levity offered by Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen.
So can everybody please stop talking about its “Oscar buzz”. The Emperor has no clothes and the movie is crap. Except for Borat. He was hilarious.
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