For the sake of marking a slightly unusual date in the calendar tomorrow, 09/09/09, there’s a campaign underway to rid the internet of cats for 24 hours.
If that doesn’t strike you as a perfectly sensible idea, you’re probably reading this on a dial-up connection. Cats are to the web what tomatoes are to Italian cooking. One online magazine said earlier this year declared the internet was made of kittens.
To a classically Catholic reaction of horror and amusement, I discovered this week there’s even a project underway to rewrite the Bible in kitteh, the imaginary moggie tongue which has some rigid conventions – “can I have” becomes “I can haz” and omnipotence comes in the form of “Ceiling Cat”, a meme stemming from photos of cats looking out of holes in the roof.
“In teh beginnin,” reads the opening line of Genesis, “Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs.” Verse three: “An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.”
Smart, but the worrying thing about this is the fanatics seem to be just cleaning-living cat-lovers. It isn’t inspired, as you might first expect, by lots and lots of drugs.
Anyway, Urlesque, the website leading the charge for a feline-free, has experienced a predictable backlash, with angry commenters threatening to unleash a wave of cat-related content tomorrow. “I’m gonna post so many f…kin’ cats that day,” said one.
But there are plenty of other daily occurrences on the web that hit you like forks in the eyes on a daily basis. Here’s my list of things that should also be banned for a day – just a day, though. It’s about getting a break from the tyranny.
Add your suggestions in the comments.
1. Facebook Wouldn’t it be great to have a day free of the guilt that comes from not responding when someone writes on your wall?
2. Bad spelling In fact, not just bad spelling but also cntrcted wds and that thing kids do with aLtErNaTiNg cApItAls.
3. Wikipedia Everyone could do their own research for a day and the facts recited about any particular news event or personality would be (gasp!) varied.
4. Flashing ads! Look, I know I’m not really the 1 millionth visitor. I’m not clicking on that fricking banner.
5. Social networking tips If only to slow the proliferation of mini-rule books written by digital marketing shysters on how to exploit social media
6. Pointless lists Enough said
Over to you.
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