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They should have said Kate copped a dodgy prawn

Tory Maguire

by Tory Maguire

04 Dec 09:50am

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Filed under: Duchess Of Cornwall, Kate Pregnant, Pregnancy, Prince William, Royal Family, William And Kate

66 comments

Prime Ministers are Tweeting, the Queen is delighted, the whole magazine industry is embracing temporary salvation and a young woman is in hospital feeling like death warmed up and no doubt desperately hoping everything is going to be ok.

Talk to the hand… Picture: Getty

Talk about a lot of pressure on one lone uterus.

The announcement that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant is indeed joyous news, and when you’re carrying the future third-in-line to the British throne, it’s not news you get to celebrate in private. But while I’m not usually one to advocate public institutions outright lying - continuing the cat-and-mouse speculation game for a few more weeks might have been the kindest thing to do for Kate and William.

New Idea would have ignored the decree that “the Duchess picked up a bug on her recent travels”, but version #487 of the KATE’S EXPECTING! NI cover would have passed by without much attention.

Instead we now have the spectacle of world leaders (including our own) falling over themselves to join in the celebration of a pregnancy the Royal Family didn’t even know about until Kate fell so ill.

For an organisation that has become so adept at media management, they’ve let this young expectant mother down.

You don’t have to be an expert on pregnancy, or to have even been through it, to understand the first 12 weeks are a precarious time filled with mixed emotions that would only be exacerbated by the kind of of condition that has landed the Duchess in hospital.

Add the weight of expectations of a fallen empire can’t be much help.

It’s the one time the Palace would have been forgiven for lying.

Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEDT.

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66 comments

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    • TRBNGR says:

      09:04am | 04/12/12

      I get the Royal Wedding (I don’t necessarily agree with it, but I get it - the whole ‘Lap it up, you’ll never get to do this’ angle), but Royal pregnancy? Unless she’s having the kid on the Thames and plans on shooting it over the London Bridge I don’t get the fuss, it’s no more or less special than any other baby.

      Reply

    • Harvey says:

      09:17am | 04/12/12

      Didn’t you read the article? It’s the third-in-line to the British throne. Then again, maybe you’re Brendan Nelson.

    • TRBNGR says:

      12:21pm | 04/12/12

      That’s still no reason for this baby to be classed as anything but another baby.

      And no, I can assure you I’m not Brendan Nelson, nor do I get what ever ‘dig’ it is your having against me (though I’m assuming it’s some sort of republican thing, even though I never said ANYTHING one way or the other about that….). I do know a Brendan though, talented musician and a good guy, plays under the banner ‘Boy On A String’, check him out.

    • Carolyn says:

      01:05pm | 04/12/12

      Absolutely. Okay, so it’s the third-in-line to the throne. But still, leave the poor girl (and William) alone. Let her experience the highs & lows in peace.

      But I guess that’s expecting the impossible. No Idea, Woman’s Weakly, and Woman’s Day have to make a profit somehow, as they continue to dumb down each generation of women. I really don’t understand how those magazines sell…..they are full of inane celebrity gossip, the most boring fashion which is usually a season or two behind the rest of the world,  breeder obsession (title-hooks with the word ‘baby’ in them always have ‘BABY!!!!’ bolded or highlighted), articles on body image and self esteem a few pages on from the latest crash diet, and dodgy psychic/other side/contacting the dear departed Q & As. 

      BTW, love the description of “shooting it over the London Bridge”. Such a way with words!

      Outstanding!

    • Harvey says:

      02:46pm | 04/12/12

      Yes, it is. It’s as good a reason as you’ll ever find.

      And I’m not going to explain. If you don’t get it, it’s funnier for those who do.

    • TRBNGR says:

      03:03pm | 04/12/12

      No, you definitely DO need to explain, if you don’t, you’re weak as piss.

      We all know your reasons for thinking this are down to your own beliefs, you just won’t own up to them knowing just how ridiculous they actually are.

      It’s fine if you don’t want to argue/don’t have the ability to, that’s fine, I know lots of other useless people, but don’t pretend it’s for any other reason than your too pathetic to formulate a reasonable response. Punk.

    • TD says:

      03:23pm | 04/12/12

      ‘It’ is not anybody yet (spare me the pro life stuff, you know what I mean). I agree- they should have fibbed and let the rumours fly. It would have been no different to any other week. I don’t envy her layed up in hospital worried sick about her baby, unable to keep any food down with all the well wishers chirping away. I do have some hair envy though….

    • Harvey says:

      03:33pm | 04/12/12

      Nice name calling, but I’m definitely not going to spoilt he joke for those laughing at you even more now.

    • Draconian says:

      04:42pm | 04/12/12

      @Harvey.  Sorry mate, I don’t get the “maybe you’re Brendan Nelson.” bit either.

    • glengyron says:

      09:04am | 04/12/12

      A few days ago bookies closed down betting on Kate being pregnant.  If she’s had nausea that badly anyone who’s seen her in public could have probably guessed.

      I’d say they probably did wait as long as they felt is possible.

      Let’s hope it’s a healthy normal baby.  And not our future head of state.

      Reply

    • david findlay says:

      09:12am | 04/12/12

      Any need for the fallen empire dig? Can any member of the punch let a British story pass by without at least one bitter self-revealing remark. Modern Britain doesn’t give a toss about the end of empire, witness the Olympic opening ceremony. Seems it’s the imperial outposts that obsess about it. Much Australian news in the UK media this week? Any closer to sorting out your own flag / head of state? If Britain is a fallen empire, what does that make Australia?

      Reply

    • Rebecca says:

      09:16am | 04/12/12

      I hope it’s a boy so it can be The Half Blood Prince.

      Reply

    • Eloise says:

      01:08pm | 04/12/12

      Comment of the Day!!

    • hammy says:

      09:31am | 04/12/12

      I imagine her uterus is under the same pressure of any other mother.

      Reply

    • sunny says:

      10:21am | 04/12/12

      I can get a lawn mower, 2 edgers, a leaf blower, a pile of topsoil and a dog in the tray of my uterus, no pressure.

    • Tim says:

      12:05pm | 04/12/12

      Or any other high price brood mare.

    • Philosopher says:

      01:10pm | 04/12/12

      sunny, are you suggesting you are ‘easy’?

    • Mouse says:

      02:09pm | 04/12/12

      Oh sunny, I would expect no less from your uterus!!  LOL :oD

    • JoniM says:

      03:55pm | 04/12/12

      The only thing that is certain in Tory’s article is that poor Kate did cop a dodgy prawn despite what made her sick !

    • sunny says:

      05:00pm | 04/12/12

      Philosopher - easy peesey Japanesey :>

      Mouse - my uterus is made of cast iron steel.

    • gobsmack says:

      09:45am | 04/12/12

      If the baby has, for example, Downs Syndrome, is it still 3rd in line for the throne?

      Reply

    • Rose says:

      10:08am | 04/12/12

      Yes!!

    • hammy says:

      10:22am | 04/12/12

      Of course.  The child will be King or Queen one day.

    • iansand says:

      11:10am | 04/12/12

      There will be a Regent.  Is there still a role for Harry?

    • John says:

      09:48am | 04/12/12

      They’ve been married over 18 months. It took her long enough.

      Reply

    • Happy Dude says:

      10:08am | 04/12/12

      Just how long should one wait to breed?

    • jec says:

      10:41am | 04/12/12

      Good on them for having over 18 months of being “just two” before becoming “three”.  A very sensible decision given the fact she had a lot of adjusting to do to being in the spotlight as a Royal and it gave them time to enjoy being married.  And anyway, who knows, they may have been “trying” since they got married.  Whichever, it’s the right time for them.

    • Louise says:

      01:15pm | 04/12/12

      @ John, and how exactly do you know that it “HER” who took long enough? How do we know that perhaps they’ve only just started trying to get pregnant in the past few months, and got pregnant straight away? How do you know that Prince William hasn’t got a high sperm count, and therefore there may have been issues with HIM?

      Or do you believe that a man’s “dick always works” and he should be congratulated on his “swimmers”. Talk about the ego!!

    • Kika says:

      01:17pm | 04/12/12

      Hey it took my husband and me 4 years! Those 4 years we will value forever as our BC days.

    • sami says:

      02:39pm | 04/12/12

      John, you win sexist comment of the day, well done!

    • Philosopher says:

      03:06pm | 04/12/12

      Louise, are you insulting the Royal Sperm? I have to check, but that may actually be treason. Off to the Tower you go.

    • Tim says:

      03:17pm | 04/12/12

      Sami,
      actually Louise’s comment is far more sexist than John’s but you don’t see sexism from women do you?

      I think John’s comment was more in relation to how every Women’s magazine in the world has been asking “When Will Kate and Will have kids?” ever since they got engaged. It’s a joke about the constant pressure on the couple.

    • Ally says:

      09:59am | 04/12/12

      I’ve got no doubt that they would have wanted to keep this quiet until the Duchess passed the 12 week mark, but if they didn’t announce it, you can be sure it would have been leaked by someone at the hospital. It would have been absolutely impossible to keep the news contained.

      I can only assume that the Palace thought that announcing the news would generate a bit of sympathy in the press for the Duchess and hopefully give her a bit of breathing room to recuperate, as opposed to a frenzied media speculating about the truth if they’d said is was just a gastric upset.

      Reply

    • Meh says:

      10:11am | 04/12/12

      Reports are that they told Kate parents, which means they would have been going back to tell the Palace within a very short time frame. How long do you really think the secret would last after that? 2 seconds, maybe 3….

      It is cruel to tell your family but have them hold on for more than 24 hours before they can blurt it to all and sundry. Most couples work out a plan so important people can know off them directly before it hits the gossip line (FB) within a day.

      Reply

    • Sickemrex says:

      05:43pm | 04/12/12

      Ha! Family can’t keep their mouths shut! We told ours at 6 weeks with our first with strict instructions to STFU until 12 weeks. Needless to say it was secret was secret for a millisecond. This time around we waited.

    • Rose says:

      10:18am | 04/12/12

      I’m not sure she’d be feeling the stress any more or less than other mothers. Some women stress out when pregnant, others take it in their stride. Provided she has the opportunity to rest and take time out from her public duties I don’t see why she would be suffering any more than anyone else.
      Having a baby is perfectly natural and so is parental concern that mum and baby will be well, every parent feels it and Kate and Wills will be no different. The whole waiting 12 weeks to tell everyone is fine, but not compulsory and not even always the best option. Now that the world knows that Kate is pregnant, and that her morning sickness is quite severe, I’d imagine the heat will be off. She’s providing the obligatory heir, she has a great excuse to take her foot off the pedal if she needs to and she will be celebrated and feted for something that is actually perfectly natural. Should something happen to the baby, and we all hope and pray mum and baby will be well, she will also have the love and support of not just her family but pretty much most of the western world.
      Don’t worry about her, she’ll be fine!!!

      Reply

    • Kika says:

      01:20pm | 04/12/12

      I haven’t told everyone yet and I’m 19 weeks! Only my family, a few best friends and my colleagues know.

    • Fiddler says:

      10:18am | 04/12/12

      Wait, she’s gotten pregnant? OMG Diana did that too!!!!!!!!!!!

      Reply

    • Fiona says:

      10:31am | 04/12/12

      I suspect they would not have announced until she was past the 12 week mark and all was well on the ultrasound.

      Ah well, at least she’s highlighting the beginning perils of modern motherhood for the rest of us.  No such thing as pregnancy confinement anymore - and I imagine she will be out and about in maternity glad rags before too long.

      I do wonder if she will be taking Baby Third In Line out for a public breastfeed and debating between cloth and disposable nappies with William

      Good luck to them.  Hooray for loved and well taken care of new babies..royal or not.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      10:40am | 04/12/12

      ” But while I’m not usually one to advocate public institutions outright lying - continuing the cat-and-mouse speculation game for a few more weeks might have been the kindest thing to do for Kate and William. “
      Are you saying that Tory out of concern for the couple that something could go wrong and yes, that is one aspect that we certainly hope they will not have to deal with however such secrets are hardly ever well kept anyway.

      She at least looks very happy in that photo and has that pregnant glowing look new mothers allegedly have and hopefully all will be fine, morning sickness and all.

      Reply

    • Bomb78 says:

      10:46am | 04/12/12

      Tory - can you drop the ‘young’ woman/mother thing please? She’s 30, not 17. She is also fully aware of the public attention that surrounds her entire life.

      Reply

    • Mary says:

      03:08pm | 04/12/12

      Unless Tory was referring to the maturity/mental thinking? But yes, she’s not young. 30 years is considered ADULT.

    • Knemon says:

      11:14am | 04/12/12

      I wonder who the father is?

      Reply

    • Tim says:

      12:04pm | 04/12/12

      Just hope the kid doesn’t turn out to be a Ranga.

    • blueblood says:

      03:05pm | 04/12/12

      Knemon and Tim - you’re both classless Colonials.

    • mmg says:

      04:40pm | 04/12/12

      I was just wondering in what time frame Wills [that’s what they call him, isn’t it? Wills?] was stationed OS… but seriously though, the first thing I thought of when I saw it on the news this morn was something along the lines of Her being a bit precious “Oh woe is me, I am a bit sick! Rather!”.  What percentage of pregnancies actually require hospitalisation for morning sickness?  Not one person I have known has had to do that, but then again, they aren’t rich and don’t have the luxury of being pampered after feeling a “bit” nauseous…

    • Seano says:

      11:20am | 04/12/12

      Congrats to Will and Kate expect the next in line to be the unelected head of Australia.

      Reply

    • queenie says:

      11:51am | 04/12/12

      This announcement is highlighting a condition that is largely unknown, even by many doctors who treat it as if the woman has it ‘‘all in her head’‘. In the past women have died from this and it is only in recent times that medical treatment has eased the suffering. However, it does to make for a pleasant pregnancy with many women suffering from continual nausea and associated dehydration among other complications.Google it - helpher. If she has been hospitalised this is serious and not a light matter at all.

      Reply

    • mattyt says:

      12:44pm | 04/12/12

      the punch hating on new idea? i thought they were the same thing

      Reply

    • The Phantom says:

      01:02pm | 04/12/12

      And so the parasitic line continues. We really need to ditch this lot of benefit scroungers.

      Reply

    • Gary T says:

      03:55pm | 04/12/12

      By comparison with the comment I was going to make, yours is really quite nice Phantom.

    • The Phantom says:

      01:08pm | 04/12/12

      Here’s hoping that Kate will eat properly and give up the fags now she is finally pregnant?

      Reply

    • Natalie says:

      01:15pm | 04/12/12

      Perhaps Kate and William wanted to announce it? It might well have been their decision.

      Reply

    • Kika says:

      01:16pm | 04/12/12

      I totally agree Tory. Even after 12 weeks it’s not guaranteed to be smooth sailing. I hope that she actually does have hyperemesis gravidarum and not something more serious… I announced my news very quietly to my Mum and my Dad at 6 weeks and asked them to respect my and my husband’s wishes to keep our news between ourselves. I’ve lost a pregnancy before and I have Hashimotos which makes things a little more precarious than usual. Much more than for my mum, for example. And while I fell pregnant very quickly I didn’t want to tell the world. They of course, told everyone. My extended family on my fathers side were not informed until after my 12 week scan because I knew my Grandfather would announce it on his retirement village flyer if he knew (first great-grandchild).

      2 weeks later I had a small bleed which was extremely scary. Everything was fine and the baby is growing well. But it was a terrifying moment where I felt as though I had made a big mistake telling the world so soon… but I’m very fortunate that my baby is doing well. I didn’t suffer too badly with morning sickness either - I only had it for a few weeks but those few weeks were pretty awful. Thankfully I didn’t develop HG so I only wish Kate and Will the best of luck and a safe, healthy happy pregnancy. I can only imagine what they feel like with the WORLD watching them.

      Reply

    • HeatherG says:

      05:18pm | 04/12/12

      As a fellow Hashi’s sufferer (fortunately it triggered after I finished having my babies), I wish you all the best, Kika. I hope it all goes very well for you.

    • Mouse says:

      02:18pm | 04/12/12

      “I’m with the MILF”!!  lol, love it!  :oD

    • SAm says:

      01:47pm | 04/12/12

      well heres hoping that it all goes well for them.

      Reply

    • Pattem says:

      01:49pm | 04/12/12

      Wait a minute, New Idea first reported Kate’s pregnancy 22 August 2011.  This must be baby number 2!

      Consistently since then New Idea has given updates on the state of Kate’s pregnancy, so nobody should be surprised at all by this announcement.

      Disclaimer:  I do not read New Idea, but I do watch Media Watch!

      Reply

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      02:39pm | 04/12/12

      Of course the next thing will be “What sort of (Very, very Expensive) present will the Australian Government send to these two very rich, priviledged people who really mean nothing to us?”
      Why all the fuss? Kate & William are just two human beings who happen to have cracked the baby-making process without IVF. Maybe they should come out here & have this, or is it ‘these’?, latest additions to UK Taxpayer’s expenses here. That way they will be able to get that ridiculous $5000 Baby Buying Bribe - the first in a long line of benefits they will rip-off Australian taxpayers.
      Who cares who is 3rd in line to the Bristish Crown? Most adults in Australia today will be either dead or in some nursing home with advanced Dementia by the time this latest brat gets to become King or Queen. Say Betty dies in 10 years time, Charlie takes over for 20+ years, then William hops onto the throne for as long as his granny (60 or 70 years) so it could be 80 or 90 years before this aspirant gets there - if indeed he/she lives long enough.
      The media will be loving this! We had to put up with the US Presidential election for over a year, then the alleged scandal involving Julia for some months. That has all, hopefully, ended for everyone is thoroughly bored by it all.
      Now we will cop every twinge, every tiny increase in Katie’s baby bump which will take us up to mid July when we will be put through every excruciatingly painful second of her labour (A labour which they will insist was worse than any woman, anywhere has ever endured)
      That will all work in very well for by July we will be getting into the throws of a different sort of labour: The Federal Election!
      I don’t give a rat’s arse about this baby.
      I don’t give a rat’s arse about the Federal Election either.
      Then there will be the Australian Taxpayer funded “Royal Tour”, brat/s in tow.
      Politicians & other parasitic social-climbers will fall over each other as they rush to prostrate (or is that prostitute?) themselves before two people who mean nothing to the vast majority of Australians or indeed the rest of the world.

      Reply

    • ... says:

      03:19pm | 04/12/12

      Robert S McCormick says lighten up. The worlds not that bad. Geez

    • Daphne says:

      03:35pm | 04/12/12

      Why is it so important to us? So there is going to be a third in line to the throne - yeah, so what? The way channel 9 & 7s morning programmes carried on this morning was disgraceful. The Today Show had 10 minutes of this earth shattering event” as headlines for ten minutes.

      Not surprised though. The women on that programme are baby-rabid - Georgie whatsherface even made some narky comment in Madisoni magazine a year or so ago, about women who actively choose to not breed (my daughter buys those magazines!).

      This morning at work, I dared to comment about the disproportionate attention that was being directed at Kate & William and mentioned that they are just another couple expecting a baby…...and BAM! Then came all the gushing, the dribble, the cooing and the nauseating (no pun intended) natter about “baaabbbbbiiieeees” et al.

      FFS - it’s been done over 7 billion times since 1900. Even I’ve done it thrice. It’s not anything new. As another poster said in previous thread - “every species has the ability to reproduce”.  It science/nature, not some “pwecious miraculous event!”

      Rats and cockroaches do it daily.

      Don’t care WHO is doing the reproducing. Just leave them alone and let them get on with it. 

      I doubt the leeches relying on this to pay the bills, and who call themselves journalists will allow Kate & Wills to have any of the “baby-this, baby-that, Kate’s Baby-Bump!, Kate’s Baby-Diet, Kate’s Baby-Fashion, Fear for Kate’s Baby Due to Stress” headlines kept at a minimum. All n the name of ‘public interest’, of course!

      I wish them all the best. But I also wish they could be left alone.

    • Clara says:

      03:03pm | 04/12/12

      I don’t see Kate as someone to fond about nor a special person, but I send my congratulations to her and her husband William. I hope that she will survive through the period of pregnancy (plus the sickness), recover well, and may it be a healthy baby without any complications (to the baby and the mother too).

      Reply

    • Anjuli says:

      03:53pm | 04/12/12

      Not a great lover of Royalty, even though I am white English born and bred ,what I can’t stand is ,people who keep giving a knitted baby garment which happened recently to William, do they really think the baby will wear any of them ,at least the charities win. which is good.I only hope the press don’t keep giving us updates on her baby bump, how boring.

      Reply

    • Henry VIII says:

      03:56pm | 04/12/12

      OMG!!! They must have been…... FORNICATING !!! I wonder is Ones’ mother would approve?

      Reply

    • Reg Whiteman says:

      05:12pm | 04/12/12

      They weren’t FORNICATING at all. They were COPULATING.

      I’m so happy about the whole thing I could just shit.

      Reply
 
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