Lily Allen made an appearance on Neighbour’s last night showcasing her song ‘22’ which is currently at number 13 in the Aria Top 50 Single Charts.
‘22’ is about a woman who had the world at her feet at 22 but now she’s almost 30 years old and doesn’t have a career or a boyfriend.
According to the song lyrics, “It’s sad but it’s true how society says her life is already over. There’s nothing to do and there’s nothing to say ‘til the man of her dreams comes along, picks her up and puts her over his shoulder.”
But how many number one singles, movies, magazine covers or product endorsements does it take for celebrities like Lily Allen to realise they are ‘society’?
Through their power and popularity they can influence the world in a more positive way and via popular culture, they can potentially change the way society looks at women in general.
Popular culture is like a low priced hooker on a slow night, it’s cheap, easy and accessible but it is also a strong driving force in influencing people’s perceptions and ideas about the world in a non confronting AM radio type of way.
As a woman in her 30s who is single, I am constantly bombarded by images of desperate women in their 30s in popular culture, newspaper reports about my ticking biological clock and the declining chances of finding a man in my 30s and harangued by relatives, friends and strangers asking me why I’m not married. But I’m not alone, not in spirit anyway.
According to a recent survey by Relationships Australia, 54% of my X-gen counterparts aged 30 to 39 feel the same and haven’t had children because they simply haven’t met the right partner.
It always feels that it never matters how accomplished or educated you are as a woman; your self worth is always linked back to a man to give your life a sense of purpose. Contrary to popular view or Lily Allen, I’m not a damsel in distress or waiting to be rescued.
For every song that has charted in the last ten years that seek to empower women and celebrates women’s achievements like ‘I’m fine’ by Mary J Bligh, ‘Independent Women’ by Destiny’s Child and ‘Ur Hand’ by Pink, there are ten songs that are self deprecating like ’22’.
And don’t get me started on hip hop and rap songs and their portrayal of women. That is a whole other post. There are enough singer/songwriters like Pink, Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson to be able to address that balance and the portrayal of women.
Women in chick flicks are often portrayed as neurotic women desperately seeking love (The Ugly Truth, He’s Just Not That Into You, Sex and the City and Bridget Jones). Chick flicks seem to fall into a few categories such as the makeover type movies if you want to find a man, ditzy women who have a career and friends but always put a man first or a race against the biological clock to find a sperm donor.
A career, friendships or self development are always secondary to the pursuit of love or put on the backburner if the ‘one’, ‘two’ or even ‘three’ makes his approach.
The Centre for the Study of Women in TV and Film found that women comprised only 16% of all directors, producers, writers, cinematographers, and editors working on the top 250 US grossing films in 2008 so women are very much unrepresented in all facets of the film industry. Yet even though Katherine Heigl was an executive producer on The Ugly Truth, the film still seeks to reinforce stereotypes of women that finding a man should be their sole focus.
Bromance films on the other hand such as ‘I love you man’ and ‘The Hangover instead embody themes of male bonding, camaraderie and adventure where pursuit of a female often comes a poor second to male friendships, fun and career.
Men are often portrayed as eligible bachelors who do not neglect their career for relationships and do not obsess over finding a partner by a certain age or their biological clock, although I know from personal experience, these issues still play on their minds.
Popular culture sends out the wrong messages to women and society that finding the love of your life should be your life, women’s friendships are expendable when it comes to romance, that women need to be ‘fixed’ in order to attract a man and it’s never the responsibility of the man or the fact he may just be a jerk.
No wonder men see women as emotionally needy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the desire to be in love but to condemn women simply because they have not found the right one or settled for ‘Mr Right Now’ before the dreaded milestone of 30 is not fodder for entertainment, it’s just downright cruel.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy escapism as much as the next person but does entertainment need to be at the expense of women’s image and being portrayed as needy, desperate and hung-up on finding a partner? Just remember that when you’re watching a movie or buying a CD, you might also be buying into outdated stereotypes of women and the misogyny of women.
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