There’s talk today that Shane Warne may return for the Ashes. It’s all speculation and hype, of course. Or is it???
The Punch has today conducted a hard-hitting analysis of photo evidence, and can reveal exclusively that Warne is right on track in his preparations for his midyear assault on the English.
Canny as ever, Warne has undertaken his exhaustive Ashes training in a manner which disguises his true intent. Just as batsmen never knew if he was bowling a leggie or a googly, many people will be fooled and mistake these photos for staged PR shots, paparazzi snaps and twitpics. Not us. These are all evidence of an Ashes training regimen like no other.
In this picture, it is clear that Warne is studying his old ways to recapture that old magic.
Again, here is Shane under this statue of himself studying his form in his sneaky, top secret Ashes preparation.
Test cricket is an unimaginably tough game. Have you ever seen a wicket keeper’s fingers? Yich. Well, that’s nothing on what a spinner does to his digits. Shane knows this, which is why he delibrately sustained a BBQ injury to toughen up his fingers for the Ashes battle ahead.
So that’s it. What more evidence do you need? Shane Warne will take the field this Australian winter, or this English summer - and let’s face it, what’s the diff?
In other cricket news just to hand, Michael Clarke’s years with Lara Bingle have been revealed as an officially sanctioned Cricket Australia mental toughening exercise to prepare him for the captaincy.
Comments on this post close at 8pm AEST
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
@PompousGoose Noted criticism. Are you the former MP nicknamed Dorrie after a TV character who would whine,' I never know what’s going on'.
@TheStalwart an analyst in Sydney said it was a "sad day" http://t.co/vh4Yu4OgDD. I think he was just exhausted and gave up analyzing
RT @NASA: Amazing views from the International Space Station of Pavlof Volcano erupting in Alaska. http://t.co/vqBkkiOful
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented