So, radio personality Jackie O crossed a quiet, leafy, Double Bay pedestrian crossing while bottle-feeding her six-week-old daughter and made the mistake of being photographed.

Mothercraft and Nannies director, Jenni Waldron, tut-tutted in the Daily Telegraph that “it would be best to sit comfortably in a chair and hold your baby correctly while feeding”. She was probably caught off guard too.

Jackie felt compelled to explain herself on air: ‘I was running late and Kitty was screaming…’. Yes.  I feel like doing that myself when I read stories like this. 

A mother’s place is in the wrong. Especially if you’re a celebrity. Even when you’re not doing something totally outrageous like dangling your baby over a balcony rail or driving a car with your child in your lap.

Everyone knows that we non-famous mums are all sitting up comfortably at home in our chairs, feeding properly, like the paragons of maternal virtue that we are.
Jackie can at least be thankful, I suppose, that she wasn’t also chastised in the national media for formula feeding - if indeed it is formula in the bottle she was pictured with, and not expressed breast milk, and who cares either way?     

Perfect People, I’m guessing.  They roam amongst us, getting their knickers in a knot over other women’s choices. 

I was on Facebook last night discussing a breastfeeding doll that Mia Freedman had brought to the attention of her website readers (yes, you heard right, Mark Zuckerberg). 

It is accessorised with detachable boobs in the form of a bib with two strategically-placed plastic flowers. 

Some people find it offensive, including one commentator, responding to a story in the American Chronicle, who said: ‘The Breast Milk Baby is totally inappropriate for young girls; breastfeeding is a skill that comes naturally to a mature woman’.
 
It does?
 
Maybe if she sits comfortably in a chair and holds the baby correctly?  Or if she has fake, detachable nipples that will allow her ‘to experience the magic of motherhood’, as makers of the doll boast.

Do these imitation nipples crack and bleed while you cry and feel like a failure?  Does the set come with a bonus pack of bottles and unprompted judgmental comments from perfect strangers if the plastic flowers don’t work properly? 

If not, I’m not buying it. It doesn’t really sound like the full authentic breastfeeding experience…

I’m not anti-breastfeeding. I’ve breastfed. I’ve bottle fed. I’m anti it being anyone else’s business but your baby’s. 

I’ve said it before – with every baby step that a new mum takes, there’s a fork in the road and a knife at her back.  Sometimes there’s also a camera and a journalist.

After the horrific death of four-year-old Darcey - dropped off a bridge by her father Arthur Freeman - we’re reminded that there are some truly sad stories about parenting gone wrong. 

This beat-up over crossing the road isn’t one of them. 

New mums should be left to get on with the ‘magic of motherhood’ in peace.  Goodness knows - it’s hard enough.

I can’t type any more. I’m writing this article one-handed while feeding my baby at a sloppy angle in my PJs at 2.30pm. 

Just waiting for the paparazzi to arrive and make the mother of all fusses about it…

Most commented

115 comments

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    • S.L says:

      05:11am | 31/03/11

      I am not a fan of Ms “O” or her side kick but if I was her being photographed doing anything in a public street I wouldn’t comment as it gives the photographer legitimacy while invading her privacy.
      As far as I’m aware it’s not an offence to bottle feed babies in NSW and anyone with an objection should mind their own business!
      Besides I’m surprised she had the brains to know which hole to put the teet in…..........

    • Mahhrat says:

      07:09am | 31/03/11

      SL, +1 internets to you.  I agree: any “surveillance” done in a public place for any purpose other than national security, defence or public management (which would then involve matters of confidentiality) should only be legal by the express written consent of the person involved.

      The balance to that though, is that if someone is ever caught out “manufacturing” their public image (eg Tiger Woods) and is later caught out, they do hard, hard time.

    • Erick says:

      05:21am | 31/03/11

      “After the horrific death of four-year-old Darcey - dropped off a bridge by her father Arthur Freeman - we’re reminded that there are some truly sad stories about parenting gone wrong.”

      Such as these three mothers who murdered their children. Funny how the one example of really bad parenting happens to be male when the whole story is about women. Bit of bias, perhaps?

    • Emma Grey says:

      06:27am | 31/03/11

      Erick - if you were a regular Punch reader (and it would be hard to prove that you’re not), you would know my views on fathers.  Although, you were strangely mute after my recent Punch story on that topic.  Bit of bias, perhaps?

    • semi concerned citizen says:

      06:36am | 31/03/11

      Erick I can see you getting round in a cape and a tshirt that says man power, appearing around corners righting slights against men everywhere. You make me sleep easy at night.

    • Ironside says:

      06:52am | 31/03/11

      Erik, i generally rate your action mate, and even some of your anti womens bias points are valid, in this case tho i think the reference was because Arthur Freeman was found guilty this week so it is a topical reference rather than an attempt at bias.

    • Lexi says:

      06:57am | 31/03/11

      Sorry, but touche Emma. If you were a regular Puncher you too would know Eric’s views on women.  And you wouldn’t give him oxygen.

    • Cloud Strife says:

      07:04am | 31/03/11

      A throwaway comment to a recent newsstory and Erick has to make everything about him and his views.

      Again.

    • Jade says:

      07:05am | 31/03/11

      Erick… the story has been in the news this week, most likely the reason its in this story now.  Don’t get your panties in a twist… no one is saying that only men hurt their children.

    • Kate says:

      07:55am | 31/03/11

      +1 Lexi

    • Tim says:

      08:31am | 31/03/11

      Disagree with your comment here Erick as the reference was obviously topical.
      Agree however that stories like Freeman’s get far more oxygen in the media than when the mother is the culprit.

    • Tim says:

      08:35am | 31/03/11

      @ Dave,
      just read that article.
      Seriously how does that shit get published?

    • Kika says:

      09:01am | 31/03/11

      Oh Erick. Now is not the time and place to be discussing your hell-bent views against women.

    • Zaf says:

      11:13am | 31/03/11

      maybe there was GIN in that bottle.  how come nobody is investigating?  inquiring minds want to know….

    • Paul Horn says:

      04:25pm | 31/03/11

      Well done Eric you are an inspiration. It’s good to know that there are men out there willing to fight for the survival of the male race. Your stories highlight embittered women who killed their children as a form of vengeance against their exes. Utterly unbelievable.

      Yet Dave’s amazing story shows how much the system despises men and how low certain female journalists will go such as madam Kirkwood in claiming that it is mens patriarchical entitlement beliefs that make them kill their children.   

      Then how the hell would this hypocrite explain the brazen hateful and disgusting behaviour of these women? In fact her actions were infinitely worse than Freeman as the first story highlights how the murderess attempted to kill all of her children!!! This was not mental illness as was the case with Freeman this womans actions were motivated by pure rage and heartless bitterness!

      I think Ms Kirkwood has well and truly snookered herself!

      God do we need a woman hating Government funded masculinist group now more than ever to rip apart the putrid stench that passes as feminist excrement. Makes me sick!

    • Anna says:

      07:32pm | 31/03/11

      @Dave. There’s nothing ‘anti-male’ about stating the facts. According to research, most men who kill their children do so as part of a consistent pattern of violence. Contrary to popular belief they rarely ‘snap’ after losing their children, but are typically found to have prior histories of domineering, controlling, abusive and violent behaviour before they murder their children or families. The Freeman case is just one example of that reality. “Say goodbye to your children” says it all really. I don’t think it’s ‘anti-male’ to point out that that is a consistent factor in cases where fathers murder their children. To pretend that it’s not is not going to help the next child or her mother and family.

    • Dan says:

      10:38pm | 31/03/11

      +2 Lexi

    • jb says:

      06:31am | 31/03/11

      Actually Erick I believe she was just using the most recent example of parenting gone bad. I had already thought of Darcy part way through before I got to the end so I think your comment is a little unfair as your examples are from 2009 and 2010 and not in the public eye any more. Though I do remember your 3rd example.

    • Jade says:

      07:07am | 31/03/11

      Its normally other mothers I find that are critical of how someone treats their child or does something a different way.

      The bitchy cattiness doesn’t end once you leave high school, it’s there for the wedding, pregnancy and then raising the child.

      Most women can’t help themselves.

    • Bugsy says:

      09:22am | 31/03/11

      Absolutely! I remember as soon as I got married one of my so called ‘friends’ then attempted to start a ‘competition’ against me and another of our friends about who was going to have a baby first. I told her in no uncertain terms that we weren’t ready for a child yet and the other friend can go ahead whenever she likes to have a baby.

    • Jade says:

      10:25am | 31/03/11

      Haha at the moment one of my “friends” is no longer talking to me because I was made bridesmaid over her for one our friends wedding! raspberry I find it amusing that people can be so petty!

    • Elphaba says:

      11:51am | 31/03/11

      @Jade, really?

      I’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid in my best friend’s wedding.  Of course I said yes, and it’ll be great - but I’d be just as happy to not be one.

      I don’t get the whole ‘women love to be bridesmaids’ - it’s so odd.  What is the appeal?  Is it because it kinds feels like their wedding as well?

      Weird - definitely born missing some girl genes…

    • Jade says:

      01:14pm | 31/03/11

      Lol I know, thats exactly what I though… I definitely wouldn’t act like she did if I wasn’t asked to be one! Jealousy is a curse! smile

    • Elphaba says:

      02:37pm | 31/03/11

      @Jade, I look at the upsides of not being a bridesmaid:

      1). Don’t have to wear a dress I don’t have any say in.
      2). Don’t have to be concerned about the bride all night, I can just eat good food and drink good grog.
      3). Minimum amount of photos taken (I f*cking hate having my photo taken, but do love being the photographer)
      4). Don’t have to sit at the special table
      5). Don’t (potentially) have to give a speech
      6). Can go home when I’m ready

      Have I missed anything? Lol

      My friend is having 4 bridesmaids.  Her sister is the biggest bossyboots in the world, so I’m going to let her take over the mollycoddling of the bride, and I’ll just go where I need to. grin

      I would love to hear from someone who loves being a bridesmaid though, and what the appeal is…

    • Jade says:

      03:28pm | 31/03/11

      Haha yeah they are all good points! I don’t really like being the center of attention, so its not going to be fun standing up front of 100 people (god bless make up artists) Our bride to be actually let us bridesmaids pick the dress, she just gave the final ok! lol which is good!

      Another downside is we have to pay for everything though :( which isn’t cheap

    • Kelstar says:

      03:58pm | 31/03/11

      Hey Elphaba, I like being a bridesmaid ‘cause you get to be part of the centre of attention thing, especially as I’m never going to get married.
      I enjoy getting ready ie. hair, makeup and nails or day spa pampering as that’s not something I normally do (had my eyebrows shaped once years ago and couldn’t believe the difference it makes).
      I actually love speaking in public so for one wedding when I was Best Woman I insisted that I give a speech in the same vein as the Best Man.
      I guess I like being in control so am fine with being the troubleshooter when things go wrong or having that emergency pair of stockings that saves the day!!

    • Anne71 says:

      05:07pm | 31/03/11

      Well said, Jade. I often feel I’ve dodged one hell of a bullet by not having kids when I read some of the bitchy, judgmental and downright nasty comments about women’s choices during pregnancy, how she gives birth, whether she breastfeeds or bottle-feeds, etc. Perhaps I’m over-simplifying the issue, but surely as long as both the mother and the baby are healthy and happy, what business is it of anybody else?

    • Jade says:

      05:58pm | 31/03/11

      Thats exactly how I see it Anne71! When one day I do have kids and get married I won’t be worrying about what others say.  I am the type of person that doesn’t care what people think, I am living my life how I want to and having fun doing it so that’s all that matters.  More people need to live how they want to, not how others think they should!

    • iansand says:

      07:19am | 31/03/11

      Parenthood rapidly becomes an exercise in whatever it takes.  It is like battle plans - they rarely last beyond first contact with the enemy.

    • Bilby says:

      08:30am | 31/03/11

      Aye. I knew so much more about parenting before I had a kid than I do now.

    • AW says:

      07:36am | 31/03/11

      I wish she hadn’t even defended herself. There is no need. I often wonder what things are like at home for these Perfect People. Probably not so perfect, after all. Wouldn’t it be great if our biggest concern in our life was how other people fed their baby? I know I wish that was my biggest worry. Breast/bottle, circ/uncirc/, disposable/cloth, cot/co-sleeping….people should just shut up and make their own decisions for themselves and butt out of other people’s decisions. They’re not better than a school bully, forcing their opinions and making mothers feel inferior or incompetent.

    • AFR says:

      07:49am | 31/03/11

      Crikey, are we still talking about breastfeeding?

    • Silverdragon says:

      08:50am | 31/03/11

      Yes, but this is the Punch, not Crikey!  wink

      And actually, I think this article touches on several different topics: breast/bottle feeding, pressure on mums, ‘good’ and ‘bad’ parenting, celebrity ‘perfection’, the invasiveness of the media, marketing to children and general busybodies.  So much to be going on with…

    • AFR says:

      10:18am | 31/03/11

      I think we keep talking about it, as talking about boobs keeps men interested.

    • shenanigans says:

      03:49pm | 31/03/11

      did someone say boobs?

    • PJ says:

      07:53am | 31/03/11

      I laughed at Jackie O’s response.  She and Mr Toad are happy to troll through and make a living off anyone’s lives, just don’t do it to her…

    • Erick says:

      08:03am | 31/03/11

      @Emma Grey - Yes, I did read your article about fathers. I said nothing because I found nothing to criticise.

      @Ironside & Jade - Perhaps that’s it. However, inserting that sentence into an article about mothers and breastfeeding seemed somewhat gratuitous to me.

      @Dave - Thanks for the link. That article is one of the most sexist, hateful things I have ever read. I’ve been exposed to that sort of anti-male propaganda for thirty years or more, yet some people wonder why I get angry.

    • Silverdragon says:

      08:36am | 31/03/11

      So Erick - you only write critical comments?  That is a sad indictment of your world view.  Maybe you could bring a little joy into your own and others’ lives by just occasionally making a positive comment!  Maybe then you wouldn’t be regarded as a one-topic cynic (though probably you don’t care).  Have a great day!

    • Bev says:

      10:15am | 31/03/11

      I am surprised Erick that you are not familiar with the writings of Dr Debbie Kirkwood. She was a strong advocate of getting rid of all the 2006 famiuly law changes including family dispute resolution ( FDR disadvantaged women).  She applauded the repeal of provocation provisions (favoured men).  Is a strong supporter of self defence as a defence for murder (but thinks it should be limited to women murdering men).  I dont think I have read anything written by this women that does not ooze extreme hatred for men.

    • someone says:

      01:08pm | 31/03/11

      it is disspointing to see that article when even she has written in papers she has had published. 

      “Empirical studies show that more than half of child homicides are perpetrated by women (d’Orban, 1979, Strang, 1996, Wilczynski, 1995, 1997)”

      “The lack of empirical research on women who kill has enabled some researchers to claim that women are as violent as men in the home (Straus & Gelles, 1990,p. 104). While Straus concedes that there is a much lower probability of physical injury resulting from attacks by women, he nevertheless asserts that assaults by women are a “major social problem” (1993, p. 67).”


      “We need a thorough, considered analysis of women’s violence that does not feed into and fuel the ideological backlash against feminism.”

    • Erick says:

      02:31pm | 31/03/11

      Bev, I try to avoid exposure to the venom of people like that. It’s why I cancelled my subscription to the SMH and ditched my TV.

      I also have more interest in social trends than individuals.

    • AKidsDad says:

      08:22am | 31/03/11

      When we were doing the prenatal classes the pressure to anything except breast was immense and I have heard similar from a lot of other mums & dads.

      I like the way Iansand put it, “battle plans rarely last beyond first contact with the enemy”. Love the little buggers, but is hard enough without trying to be perfect.

    • Deborah says:

      08:43am | 31/03/11

      Too bloody right. Well said. It’s been 13 years since I endured the breastfeeding Nazis and I’m still angry about the way they undermine the struggle of new mothers.

    • Kika says:

      09:26am | 31/03/11

      Very true. Some women simply can’t breastfeed for one reason or the other. The last thing they need is to be made to feel guilty because they can’t breastfeed. Like I say, there’s nothing wrong with bottle fed babies. They will live.  There’s another million ways you can stuff your kids lives up other than how you choose to feed them as babies!

    • Seth Brundle says:

      10:30am | 31/03/11

      I imagine that breastfeeding would be the optimal nutritional solution for children, I just wish it was done in private.  It is reallly quite disgusting to have to see it in public and the argument that it is “natural” doesnt wash either.  Urinating is also natural but you won’t let me do that in public.

    • Carz says:

      10:47am | 31/03/11

      @Seth, okay then, we will send all nursing mothers to the toilets to feed their babies. But only if everyone else has to eat in the toilts too.

    • Cloud Strife says:

      10:50am | 31/03/11

      @Seth - Breastfeeding is using breasts for their intended purpose. Why do you find looking at a boob so ‘disgusting’?

      I don’t have a baby, but even I know when I baby wants feeding, it wants feeding. You can’t put it off until the mother is ready.

    • Tim says:

      11:30am | 31/03/11

      Cloud Strife,
      so you’d have no problem with me defecating right next to your desk then?

    • Cloud Strife says:

      11:44am | 31/03/11

      @Tim There is a huge difference between taking a pooh and breastfeeding.

      I pity you if you can’t see that difference, or would you like to eat while I take a poo next to you?

    • Tim says:

      12:03pm | 31/03/11

      Cloud Strife,
      well don’t hold back. What’s the difference?
      For me I don’t want you taking a poo next to me just as much as I don’t want a woman breastfeeding next to me either. That’s called consistency.

    • Cloud Strife says:

      12:35pm | 31/03/11

      @Tim

      Well, Tim, the biggest difference is that taking a dump is expelling waste from the body, and that breastfeeding is providing offspring with nutrients and sustenance.

      That’s a pretty big difference.

      So why do you find breastfeeding so disgusting and offensive?

    • Jade (the other one) says:

      12:41pm | 31/03/11

      Cloudstrife - for me, personally, its the fact that I can’t wander around with my breasts openly on display. If I sunbathe topless on a regular beach, I get arrested for indecent exposure if I refuse to cover up. However, slap a baby on my boob, and suddenly the exposure is sacrosanct and untouchable. It’s a filthy, disgusting double standard.

      I don’t like listening to or watching breastfeeding while I try to eat or am on public transport etc. I get that it is natural and all that, but I don’t like it. Any more than I would like someone eating with their mouth open, or peeing in the corner.

    • Tim says:

      01:18pm | 31/03/11

      Ah Cloud Strife, so you have a problem with people expelling wastes? OK.
      What about a man masturbating next to you, would that be OK.?Completely natural right?

      My problem with it, is as Jade points out the double standard that applies. That if you are feeding a baby that somehow your public exposure is alright.
      There are literally hundreds of bathrooms and parents rooms around, there is no excuse to just flop your tit out in public.
      I could understand if there was nowhere to go, but the militant mothers who just insist on breastfeeding in the middle of a shopping centre food court really annoy me.

    • iansand says:

      01:44pm | 31/03/11

      Tim - Can I recommend that you move to a more salubrious neighbourhood?  There are lots of places where the sort of thing you seem to experience on a daily basis don’t happen.

    • bella starkey says:

      01:48pm | 31/03/11

      I have never seen anyone get arrested for sunbaking topless on a beach, I have however seen a lot of tits at bondi, manly, dee why etc

    • Cloud Strife says:

      01:56pm | 31/03/11

      @Tim Ahh, the old “flops it out” chestnut.

      Cos that happens. ALL THE TIME. Women LOVE getting their boobs out and flopping them all around the place.

      You’ve a lovely field of strawmen there, I hope they bring you many years of enjoyment.

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:04pm | 31/03/11

      You are serioulsy twisted Tim if you think wanking and shitting is somehow the same as breastfeeding a child. The child is hungry. It needs to be fed. You can’t tell a baby ‘wait till we get home’ you muppet. Further, women don’t just ‘flop their tits out’ They do it discretely and once the kid is latched on you can see bugger all anyway.

      The only way you are going to see anything at all is if you deliberately try to. And I bet you do you.

      Grow up. Its a boob. You’re supposed to be an adult now.

    • Tim says:

      03:03pm | 31/03/11

      Not one of you can give an honest reason as to why breastfeeding is different other than “Just Because”.
      Come up with a legitimate reason of why a woman needs to breastfeed in public that can’t apply to many other natural things and I will listen.
      Oh and thanks for telling me that women don’t really just “flop their tit out”, when that’s exactly what a woman did when I was at lunch yesterday.

    • Seth Brundle says:

      03:05pm | 31/03/11

      Grow up, TheRealDave, it’s only a penis and it’s only natural that I urinate against the bus stop.  After all, you can’t tell me to just hold it in, can you?  When you gotta go, you gotta go, much like a baby needs to eat when it is hungry.
      Of course, I could just go to the area designated for the purpose, couldnt I…?

    • FeedAway says:

      04:07pm | 31/03/11

      @Cloudstrife and Seth - do you eat your lunch in a toilet? why should a baby

    • Hmmm says:

      06:38pm | 31/03/11

      Cloud strife this was more my face while reading this http://picardfacepalm.com/picard-facepalm-hotlink.jpg

      If you can’t grasp the difference between defecation, sexual pleasure and EATING, and why one is appropriate in public and the others are not, then what more can you say?

    • Ish says:

      09:49am | 01/04/11

      @ Tim, adults are supposed to have self contol. Infants don’t. I’d say that would be the big difference between a baby needing to feed and your need to shit and wank.
      A bathroom really is no place to feed a baby, would you eat your lunch in a toilet? It’s not terribly hygenic.
      For me if a woman is comfortable feeding in public then more power to her, I however am not, but that is the mother’s choice and no one else’s.

    • fairsfair says:

      08:58am | 31/03/11

      Oh for crying out loud.

      I don’t think I ever want to be a mother for fear of becoming one of these people. Self obsessed and looking for reasons to make issues all about them. It is all about reasons to talk about themselves and go on about what a fantastic job they are doing.  Is it just a direct response to the fact that when women have a child they need all your attention? So you may as well just make some drama. It is sad, and more childish then the shennanigans of a sandpit.

    • TJ says:

      12:24pm | 31/03/11

      just make sure you don’t become that kind of mother, i am pregnant and my boyfriend went with me to the midwife and she made a casual comment about drugs to use in the delivery and he piped up and said oh no we’re doing it naturally, i replied to him i don’t know what birth you will be at but i am having an epi and i don’t care what anyone else says, he was quite horrified

    • Ducks says:

      02:47pm | 31/03/11

      @ TJ.
      Seriously? He decided you would have a natural birth withouth consulting you. And when you told him otherwise, HE was horrified?
      I’m horrified that he assumes he can make those decisions for you…that would scare me a little bit

    • Slick says:

      03:09pm | 31/03/11

      LOL, I love it TJ.
      That is fantastic.

      Oh for the record, Epidurals hurt like hell to get put in.

    • Kika says:

      04:54pm | 31/03/11

      What? Your ‘boyfriend’ told you how you’re going to go through labour? Well you should tell him well next time you eat a meal I’ve made, I want to tell you how you’re going to do your turd and see if you like it… And make it really difficult just for fun!

    • fairsfair says:

      06:03pm | 31/03/11

      my favourite part is where you liken giving birth to taking a dump.

    • Elphaba says:

      07:26pm | 31/03/11

      @fairsfair, don’t most women actually take a dump when giving birth.

      They don’t tell you any of this stuff on TV!  I learned from a friend that you have to drink 2 litres of water before having an ultrasound - on TV they show women cooing over the ultrasound, but IRL, you’re squirming trying not to pee all over the bed!

    • Stephy says:

      08:06pm | 31/03/11

      @Slick -

      6 IV attempts and 2 Anaesthetists later, I finally got the Epi. The first nurse jabbed me about 15 times in the back trying to get the tube between the spinal cord bones and just kept scraping the bone instead.

      Let me tell you. Well worth it. Even if I did have 5 blown veins and one massive bruise on my lower back.

      TJ, take the drugs. Trust me. I went through labour 4 weeks ago so the experience is still vivid in my memory. Take. The. Drugs.

    • Katie says:

      10:43pm | 31/03/11

      TJ, You tell him sister!

    • TJ says:

      12:01pm | 01/04/11

      Yeah his mum is all about natural birth earth mother crap, whatever, the midwife told me you don’t get a gold star or elephant stamp for going without the drugs i told him if he might not even be invited to the birth so not to push it, he is already in trouble for asking me if it’s alright if his mum comes to live with us to help with the baby, i said sure but the baby and i wont be there while she is lol

      never fear i do not intend to do it without drugs, if the nurse asks me what i want i am going to ask what have you got? i am not a fan of pain at all

    • fairsfair says:

      01:32pm | 01/04/11

      @Elphaba - I should have made it clear that my comment was stated with the most extreme level of sarcasm possible.

      How rediculous.

      My ma was a midwife - I have heard some horrid stories. I can think of a lot of things that could happen to you and doing that in front of a bunch of people is probably one of the better ones smile

    • Slick says:

      03:57pm | 01/04/11

      Stephy,
      I had 2 c-sections so I don’t know about it blocking out the 15 hours of incredibly painful contractions. The 12 hours I had was without any drugs as I wasnt offered and didnt know I could demand as I was going in for the ceaser anyways… Stupid natural promoting midwives.

      TJ,
      You make sure you do things how you want. My first sucked as I didnt know that I could tell them how I would look after MY child. My son nearly died from jandice as they thought he was feeding great. Turned out I am not a very good cow.
      Yes I am a bottle mother!

    • Kika says:

      09:09am | 31/03/11

      Emma I totally agree. Good article.

      Women have a hard enough time as it without having people shoving in their face about what they should and shouldn’t do. It starts with your pregnancy too. Don’t do this, don’t do that, eat this, eat that. Then the baby comes, don’t do this, don’t do that, do this do that. It’s crazy! What are we? Immortals?

      I’m so tired of motherhood being exalted so much that mothers expect and are seen to be above everyone else and should be equivalent to angels or something. It’s just out of hand. Who cares if you bottle feed. There’s nothing wrong with that. Who cares if you breast feed, there’s nothing wrong with that too. Millions of babies have been bottled fed sitting in a chair, on the run, in a car, on a plane and have survived. I completely reject the myth that breast fed babies are smarter. I was breast fed, my sister was bottle fed. My mum quit smoking with me, she kept smoking with my sister. I have only 1 university degree (a humanities one), my sister has 2 and has degrees in Microbiology and honours in Vet Science. If these anti-bottle fed babies people are right in what they say that bottle fed babies are dumber than breast fed ones, AND if mum didn’t smoke with her, then who knows how smart she would have been! She would have been an Einstein or something! haha. Yeah right.

      I don’t have kids yet. But when I do I am not going to give a rats about how people think I should be parenting my kids. If they are healthy and happy kids, that’s all that matters. And like Emma said, there’s worse forms parenting out there than just bottle feeding while crossing a street.

    • bb says:

      09:55am | 31/03/11

      What disturbs me is the doll, not that Jackie O was photographed crossing the street feeding her child.  The fact that this is a bigger story than the doll is even more disturbing.  Maybe we should start focusing on the real issues with our kids such as innappropriate marketing and worry less about what celebrity A did.

    • NQ says:

      09:56am | 31/03/11

      I’ve seen women walking through the supermarket breastfeeding. I wonder what Mothercraft would have to say about that?

      And, if only breastfeeding was as easy as that doll!  I was more concerned about the pain of breastfeeding than actually getting the baby out second time round.  Glad I persisted both times, but the first few weeks were agony and I can appreciate why some women give it up.

    • Ruby says:

      10:26am | 31/03/11

      I agree…I work in child protection and so many people are so oversensitive and judgmental about other people’s parenting. Some people just need to relax.

    • deb says:

      10:34am | 31/03/11

      Only good thing that has happened to parenting in the last few years is to stop mothers smoking in public whilst holding little jo jo`s bottle somewhere near it`s mouth. Or pushing the kids stroller with one hand while blowing smoke rings ..
      Trouble is now the old mobile is wedged under the chin and junior has designer nappies and all is right with the world.

    • Comedian says:

      10:42am | 31/03/11

      All this crap about breast Vs. bottle, deserves only one response

      I drink from a sippy cup,
      sippy cup, sippy cup
      I drink from a sippy cup,
      sippy cup,sippy cup
      I’m a big boy now

      Bye bye boobies
      Bye bye boobies
      Bye bye boobies
      I’m a big boy now

    • Ben C says:

      11:14am | 31/03/11

      @ Comedian

      Bigger boys want more boobies…

    • shenanigans says:

      03:56pm | 31/03/11

      i can has boobies?

    • Susan says:

      10:52am | 31/03/11

      A fairly defensive post and, to a degree, undertandably defensive. However, what happened to young mums accepting a bit of critique and advice? Are many in 2011 so very precious that we must shut up and make excuses and rationalisations for them? The interesting matter is that this is, in many ways, not about YOU as women but about how babies are treated. It’s not the best to poorly hold a baby and try and feed it crossing a road.  Simple fact.  As an issue, should everyone shut up and say nothing, or, instead, say something to the mum whether she be JO or Raina from the Shire??  Just because she is a busy celeb doesn’t mean she can’t take some decent advice on board.  Sure, she got photographed because of who she is but, once again, the factual issue was correct - it’s simply not the best to do what she did.  And even ending a piece talking about typing one-handed while holding a baby at a “sloppy angle” isn’t the best because, once again, this isn’t about YOU as such Emma and being forgiven for being human - it’s about letting go of ego-state and thinking of what’s best for that baby you are holding.  Why are you excusing yourself for holding your baby badly?? I simply don’t understand that - not when you know it’s “sloppy”.  I presume you weren’t shocked when Michael Jackson held his baby out over a railing and so forth either…because…you know..it’s just a “sloppy angle” and we should make excuses.  I’m being facetious and I’m sure you do draw the line, but maybe not yet on yourself (from your own writing).

    • Mayday says:

      11:34am | 31/03/11

      Spot on Susan.

      Ms O could have easily sat on a wall, park bench or bus stop to feed her baby and rang work to tell them she was running late. 
      Jacki looked her usual immaculate self so she didn’t hold back when it came to getting ready but then couldn’t find time to feed her baby?!

      Babies must come first, sorry and that to me seems to be the problem with a lot of modern women returning to work so quickly.
      Learn to prioritise.

    • Kika says:

      11:37am | 31/03/11

      Seriously Susan, there’s millions of other ways people can stuff up their kids lives other than feeding them while walking across the street. Who cares if you sit to feed them if you’ve named the poor thing Ta-ay?

    • NicoleG says:

      11:43am | 31/03/11

      Jesus Susan, how many hands is that horse you’re on? It’s pretty tall.

    • mike j says:

      11:14am | 31/03/11

      “New mums should be left to get on with the ‘magic of motherhood’ in peace. Goodness knows - it’s hard enough.”

      Why feminism doesn’t work #637.

      Mums (not the dads, though, just the mums) should be completely free of any accountability for the way they raise their children. Why? Because it’s difficult! Oh, woe is me! I’m a woman! I shouldn’t have to do something difficult, or be blamed for anything, even if I am criminally negligent in the way I raise another human life!

      You see, parenting doesn’t fit the modern feminist paradigm of ovarian entitlement and zero responsibility, so there’s a constant bleating from women like Emma who like to imagine that they’re hard done by. But it’s not just the regular mums that are persecuted, is it, Emma? It’s those poor celebrity mums. Those poor, victimised celebrity mums, with their busy lifestyles and millions of dollars. It must be hard to have so much money and meet some kind of minimum standard for the welfare of your children, right, Emma?

      Children are a RESPONSIBILITY, not chattels or fashion accessories. If you don’t want the responsibility, keep your fucking legs together.

    • Cloud Strife says:

      11:48am | 31/03/11

      When blokes can breastfeed, we can tell women how they should do it.

    • Silverdragon says:

      12:43pm | 31/03/11

      mike j - Emma is in *no way* advocating parents who neglect their children being ‘left alone to get on with it’.  Naturally she and every other thinking person would agree that if the child’s welfare is at stake, then something should be done about it, end of story.

      The point that Emma is making is that mothers in general (and YES it is primarily mothers - when do you EVER see or hear dads being held up in the national media for not taking care of their kids properly, except when it is an extreme case of abuse or murder???) face mountains of petty criticism and pressure to be the “perfect” mother, whatever that is. 

      Women are criticised for bottle feeding, putting kids in daycare, using disposable nappies - you name it, people think they have the right to comment, regardless of whether the child is perfectly healthy, happy and safe.

      Of course children are a responsibility and the vast majority of parents act responsibly towards their children.  This was not about Jackie O’s celebrity status - that was only the reason she became a news story.  It’s about all the other women out there who are equally heavily criticised for similarly minor ‘infringements’ on ‘perfect parenting practice’.  Sure it would have been more ideal for Jackie O to have a seat and take a few minutes to feed Kitty in a less rushed way, but we don’t know the exact circumstances in which she found herself.  I know there are odd occasions when I’ve given my child toast to eat in the car because we’ve run out of time at home in the morning.  She thinks it’s a great novelty, along with a travel cup of milk by her side - she even eats the crusts!

    • Shane says:

      02:17pm | 31/03/11

      @mikej
      Your rant is the reason letting idiots have free speech doesn’t fucking work.

    • Seth Brundle says:

      03:13pm | 31/03/11

      @ Silverdragon and Cloudstrife - All members of society have a right to make comment and judge you for your parenting ability.  Your baby is another human being, not a thing that YOU OWN.  And one day that baby will hopefully make it to being a member of OUR society at which point we will all pay the price for your parenting failures. 
      If your parenting skills are such that people feel the need to comment on them, then maybe you need to face the fact that perhaps you are not up to the job of parenting to begin with.

    • Carz says:

      03:15pm | 31/03/11

      If you don’t want the responsibility chop your dick off. Why should you get to play and not take any responsibility? If you can stick it in then you should have to stick it out (being a parent, that is.).

    • Erick says:

      03:42pm | 31/03/11

      @Carz: “If you don’t want the responsibility chop your dick off.”

      Then if you don’t want the responsibility of raising a child, sew your vagina shut. No abortion, no child support.

    • Elphaba says:

      03:49pm | 31/03/11

      @Seth Brundle, if every person took on every nugget of criticism from every opinionated twit on parenting, then procreation would stop, because everyone would be perceived as a bad parent.

      But please, share with the group the pearls of wisdom that make you the perfect parent?

    • mike j says:

      05:01pm | 31/03/11

      Silverdragon, some of the infringements you mention are trivial (disposable nappies?), and well outside the scope of what I’m referring to.

      Shane, you’re the perfect example of when parenting goes wrong.

      I don’t have to cut my dick off to avoid impregnating people, Carz. I’ve managed pretty well so far.

      Elphaba, you are correct, but that doesn’t invalidate the fundamental argument that you have a social responsibility to raise your child to a certain developmental standard.

    • Elphaba says:

      07:21pm | 31/03/11

      @michael j, I still fail to see how breastfeeding in public and ‘raising a child to a certain developmental standard’ have to do it each other.

      It’s feeding.  Get over it.  Wanna wag your dick in public?  Go for it!

    • Silverdragon says:

      08:32pm | 31/03/11

      @ Seth Brundle - to the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever commented negatively on my parenting skills.  Perhaps I was lucky that nobody shoved their nose in when I had to change to the bottle when my daughter was seven months old.  Initially she was fully breast-fed (and yes, I did feed (discreetly) in public) but eventually (despite doing everything prescribed by the Dr and MACH nurse) I didn’t have enough milk for her and had to change.  However, if anyone had had the gall to comment, they would have been on the receiving end of a piece of my mind.

      Whether or not that theoretical person had the best interests of my child at heart, or was just being a busybody, the mere assumption from a stranger that I would be doing anything less than the absolute best thing for my child would have been grossly offensive.

      No, I don’t “OWN” my child, but I do have the responsibility for raising her and I work hard to ensure that she will grow up to be a productive, caring, responsible and fully functional member of society - and hopefully also an empathetic and respectful one.

      Any chance you’ve raised any kids??

    • mike j says:

      10:01pm | 31/03/11

      Elphaba, I’m not michael j,,,,,,,, please do me the base courtesy of reading my name correctly and making at least some token attempt to comprehend the content of my posts. I never mentioned breastfeeding, in public or otherwise, and as far as I’m concerned, anyone who is offended by a child feeding from its mother needs a good slap upside the head.

      Silverdragon, of course you’re not answerable to random nosey individuals, but you’re answerable to society as a whole, and to the living person that you are raising. Yes, the majority of parents do fine, but the outcomes of bad parenting are dire. Poor education, psychological damage, drug addiction, cycles of physical and sexual violence and abuse. Considering the magnitude of the consequences, don’t you think there should be more oversight of this process, rather than less? A wah wah blog about mothering being too hard is utterly self-serving and contrary to the bigger picture.

      As say proponents of tasers and the internet filter, those who are happy to let strangers see them naked against the one in a zillion chance they might be killed by a terrorist, and other assorted idiots: ‘if you’re not doing anything wrong, what do you have to worry about?’

    • RK says:

      11:16am | 31/03/11

      Wow, Susan.  Are you one of those Perfect People, to which the article refers?

    • Squeeze says:

      11:25am | 31/03/11

      Then there’s the blessed nipple shields and Medela. Emma, you forgot to mention the need for specialist lactation consultants.

      Where does the pop press get the incentive to publish such poorly informed and easily ridiculed pap? Surely they’re deluded to think that they make any sales based on such stories? Or are they manufacturing bitchiness.

    • TheRealDave says:

      12:36pm | 31/03/11

      We had our first girl in early 2000. I remember visiting the hospital a few times in 1999 for checkups etc and I remember 1 poster on the wall about Breast Feeding info.

      Fast Forward to late 2003 when our second daughter was born (Dec 25th actually) and I remeber noticing that there were more than a few Breastfeeding awareness posters, classes, information signups, websites etc.

      Our little fella came along in July 09 and walking down the exact same corridors and the entire maternity ward was literally wallpapers in Breast Feeding posters. Breast is Best they screamed out. Classes, awareness, tips, charts etc etc over and over. I don’t recall any spare space on the walls at all!

      For the record, with Daughter 1 the missus struggled on for 6 months before going to Formula. With daughter 2 is was about the same. With the little fella it was about a month.

      Secondly, breastfeeding in public. If you find the sight of a swollen lactating breast with cracked sore elongated darkened nipples attracted then you are a sick bastard that needs to see a mental health professional.

      Thirdly, Hi Facebook. Nice to see you will allow a Facebook fan page that calls for the killing of all Jews and the destruction of Israel…yet you ban pictures of women breastfeeding their babies.

    • TheRealDave says:

      02:05pm | 31/03/11

      hmm..that should have been ‘sexually attractive’ and not ‘attracted’.....dyslexic fingers for the win….

    • RK says:

      05:13pm | 31/03/11

      The other thing about Facebook, TheRealDave, is that they’d banned the breastfeeding group with pics but are allowing the ‘Feel a boob’ campaign to run with plenty of pics and nudity.

      (Don’t get me wrong - it’s a great campaign to remind women to screen themselves for breast cancer - it’s just a double standard on the part of FB).

    • Jenny says:

      02:34pm | 31/03/11

      I just wish mums were more honest about their reasons to bottle feed. Jackie O just needs to admit that breastfeeding is probably too hard and time consuming to fit in with her career. Like another poster has pointed out she had enough time to apply her flawless make-up and hair style but didnt have time to sit down feed her baby. What a load of crock.

      And to Emma: ‘Do these imitation nipples crack and bleed while you cry and feel like a failure?  Does the set come with a bonus pack of bottles and unprompted judgmental comments from perfect strangers if the plastic flowers don’t work properly?  If not, I’m not buying it. It doesn’t really sound like the full authentic breastfeeding experience…’

      C’mon what point are you trying to make here?? With the dolls that come with bottles; it’s not like you have to mix the ‘formula’ or heat up the ‘milk’ or sterilise the bottles or deal with leaks etc either. Neither are ‘authentic’ for goodness sake it is a child’s toy. In my opinion the more we can educate about breastfeeding the better and yes even as young as children. Breastfeeding is not something to be ashamed of, it is a form of feeding your child and feeding your child is a necessity.

    • Moooooo says:

      03:55pm | 31/03/11

      ‘I just wish mums were more honest about their reasons to bottle feed’

      For me, it was because I didn’t want to. With my first child, I was hounded that much by the midwife to breastfeed, but I just didn’t want to. She got me that pissed off one day, I turned around to her and said ‘Do I look like a freaking cow?’

      Surprisingly, it worked and she left me alone. It’s a personal choice and it’s none of yours, mine or anyone else’s business, how a mother feeds their child.

    • RK says:

      04:25pm | 31/03/11

      Jenny - why is it your business (or anyone else’s) to know the reasons why mums bottle feed? 

      Why does Jackie O (or any other mum) need to ‘admit’ anything about how they’re feeding? 

      There’s no reason to be ashamed of breastfeeding OR bottle feeding. 

      There’s also no reason for you to demand an explanation from mums about their feeding method.

    • Kika says:

      04:51pm | 31/03/11

      Jenny my mother was told by her nurse than my sister being a small premature baby was too small to latch onto the breast properly, so she was bottle fed from the day dot. My mum really wanted to, but she was too small. These days people will say that’s cr&p but back then Mum didn’t know better. My sister turned out perfectly fine.  In fact I have more health issues than her and I was breast fed.

      You shouldn’t judge people. You don’t know what it’s like for them unless you’ve walked in their shoes. What about Mums who can’t breastfeed? Like the milk just won’t come or they just can’t get the hang of it. Sometimes that just happens. They shouldn’t be made to feel inadequate because of what they can or can’t do.

    • EBGallifrey says:

      02:52pm | 31/03/11

      I find it strange that people can jump up and down about the smallest things regarding parenting like bottle feeding v breast, cloth v disposables WAHM v SAHM. They back it up by saying “I am concerned for the welfare of the child”, um no your now you are just been judgmental!

      Yet when it come to abuse and neglect towards children in our society very few people will do or say anything because they don’t want to get involved, it is all to hard. So much easier to criticize the easy stuff, you can give your opinion and then get on with your life I guess.

      To say Jacki O is neglecting her child is crazy, sorry but she wasn’t feeding her child coke and Jack Daniels if she was, then yes, there should be an outcry, but she wasn’t.

      To the people that find breastfeeding in public disgusting, how close are you looking, because when I fed my daughter in public you couldn’t see anything unless you got up really close and then that is an invasion of personal space, mine not yours.

    • baal says:

      06:01pm | 31/03/11

      This is why many cultures and societies had wet nurses. Some women are really good at breastfeeding and made a decent living out of it.
      Breast is best but communities used to support women unable to provide breast milk now we seem to punish them.
      @Moooooo. You may not be a cow but you are a mammal and the mammary glands have a purpose. I am sorry you did not have a positive experienc with the midwife. Mothers need support and options. Motherhood is different for every mother.
      My partners two pregnancies were hell but breastfeeding came easy but the hormones made life difficult for her. My job and the nurses job was too support her while she recovered.
      I often bottle fed our babies. Sometimes it was formula sometimes it was breastmilk. I never cared what people thought was in the bottle and my babies were happy to drink up whereever they were.
      Also breastfeeding in public is fine. It is a baby having lunch. I think it is cute but I tend to think babies and kittens are cute no matter what they do unless they pee on the carpet. smile

    • Daddio says:

      07:09am | 01/04/11

      Good piece.  I personally feel Jackie-O should be patted on the back, she may have been low on time with a baby screaming for a feed, yet she didn’t resort to prop-feeding and instead was in a position to ensure her baby’s needs were being met whilst getting on with her day.

      Parenting is always a balancing act, journalism these days seems to simply be a series of cheap shots.

    • ERin says:

      03:54pm | 06/04/11

      “Do these imitation nipples crack and bleed while you cry and feel like a failure?  Does the set come with a bonus pack of bottles and unprompted judgmental comments from perfect strangers if the plastic flowers don’t work properly?

      If not, I’m not buying it. It doesn’t really sound like the full authentic breastfeeding experience…”

      I think you’ve missed the point of the doll. Those of us who were fortunate enough to be exposed to breastfeeding as normal throughout our childhood and adult lives often have less trouble with attachment because we know how to hold a breastfeeding baby. See this blog for more explanation: http://www.koraorganics.com/blog/live-in-my-skin/all-things-organic/organic-certification/show-children-breastfeeding/

      Breastfeeding, while natural, is a learned skill and we should be teaching our daughters how to do it!

    • Asif says:

      08:10am | 22/11/12

      Oh I had such a hard time breastfeeding my dgtuhaer, I hated it and it never felt ‘natural’, and I had postnatal depression… I stopped at 8 months on the advice of my doctor, and when I was pregnant with my second I decided that I would try breastfeeding and quit as soon as I felt that stress again… and I quit at 3 weeks! Was sooo happy to feed him with the bottle, and he was happy and felt loved and secure, and yes Daddy loved the feed snuggles too. But there is so much judgement, it’s as if you are feeding your child poison!www.lifes-a-bach.blogspot.com

 

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