There is a very serious problem with the Australian open. Her name is Maria Sharapova. And it’s not her weird grunting that’s the issue.

Take a long. Hard. Look at her.
With three grand slams already under her 22-year-old designer belt, including the US Open, Wimbledon and the Australian Open, plus a long list of other titles, the Russian certainly qualifies for being at this year’s tournament, let’s hope the injuries stay at bay. But talent isn’t the problem.
Sharapova recently signed an eight year, $75 million dollar deal with Nike, her other sponsors include Prince, Canon, Cole Haan, Tag Huer and Land Rover. Oh, she will also be wearing a different set of Tiffany & Co. earrings at each game at Melbourne over the coming weeks. She’s rich, fine, no problem there either.
She is a genuine do-gooder and has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to charity and established the Maria Sharapova Foundation; “committed to helping children around the world achieve their dreams”. Furthermore, she’s a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Development Programme and partners with them to support Chernobyl-affected areas of Belarus.
“It has always been my dream to contribute to the recovery of a region where I have a personal connection,” said Sharapova on her official fan page.
Sharapova is a gracious albeit noisy opponent, charming fans and the press alike. Always polite and friendly, never rude and obnoxious. Okay.
“Tennis has brought me so many things,” said Sharapova to M2 Woman Magazine last month. “It has exposed me to so many different cultures and has allowed me to travel the world to meet so many great people. I am a very lucky girl.”
Some of her leading men have included Andy Roddick – lucky girl indeed, various high-flying executives and an LA Lakers player. She’s not exactly short of dates.
Ladies and gentlemen the problem with Maria Sharapova is: she is PERFECT.
Her faultless nature as a human being and woman makes her a terrible role model for teens, aspiring tennis players and the men that desire her. Her charitable deeds, pleasant disposition, glowing complexion, skyscraper legs, bulging bank account and elite athlete status is simply unfeasible. Sharapova got greedy in the gene pool and it’s just not right that we idolize her.
The best thing Sharapova could do for her image during the next couple of weeks in Melbourne is swear on court, tell a TV camera crew or two to piss off, have a cheeky ciggie, and pash a stranger in the pub.
Go Maria!
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