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The long and the short of women’s hair

Amy Crutchfield

by Amy Crutchfield

12 Mar 05:40am

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Filed under: Beauty, Hair, Society, Women

46 comments

Our babysitter handed over a wad of cash last week to go a little blonder.  And when I say “a little”, I’m talking the degree of difference between two adjacent shades on the Dulux chart - you know, tendril green and fern green, or buttercup and daffodil.  Apparently, her boyfriend didn’t notice the change. 

This is sort of what Amy looks like now…

As she went to leave our house though, something, perhaps my second X chromosome, or perhaps the fact I have always been strangely drawn to paint colour charts, alerted me to the subtle change.  And I complimented her on it.  The look I got back was so full of warmth, I couldn’t help wondering what that young man was going to be missing out on that night.

Unless we were watching replays of Octagonal’s most glorious starts, I wouldn’t rush to describe my partner as observant.  He certainly doesn’t notice what I do with my hair.  Though this suits me.  Since noticing can lead to discussing, and discussing can lead to cost.  And the cost of professional cuts, colours and highlights is something that is generally inexplicable to heterosexual males.

In a break with tradition, my partner noticed my haircut last week.  This is probably why:

If it had legs…

The aftermath of this haircut looked like it needed a collar and obedience training.  If he hadn’t noticed this cut, one of us would probably be sleeping on someone else’s couch this week.

Long hair is work.  In some cases a great deal of work, in other cases rather less.  But even if you go for a Neolithic look, long hair is still prone to being hot and knotty.  So, if you live in the north of Finland in a village with limited leisure activities, long hair could be a no-brainer.

Since pre-school I have maintained, if not a strong work ethic, a strong work policy.  This policy dictates that I need solid answers before I crank the motor. Before performing work, I need to know why, and I need to know for whom.

When I woke up the other day and asked myself why and for whom I had so much doggone hair, I didn’t have any satisfactory answers - so it had to go.

As a little girl, to grow or not to grow long hair wasn’t a difficult question.  It wasn’t even a question. Once adolescence arrived, my friends and I learnt that we could grow our hair as rope – rope for catching boys.  That was more than enough reason for me.

As a young adult it was clear that the wider world of sexual relations was a jungle.  “Who wouldn’t want to take rope into a jungle?” I figured.  Did losing interest in long hair now mean I had lost interest in wrangling?  Or had I just lost interest in what you can catch with rope?

For four decades I wondered why a woman would cut her hair off.  Now I’m wondering why she wouldn’t.  Losing the long hair feels like getting rid of an ungrateful pet monkey - one that required a strictly controlled diet and insisted on sitting on the back of my neck.

I had long envied boys running in and out of the surf, the pool, the shower or bed, and then off to work, dinner, a date or wherever without a hair care in the world.  While I calculated the time necessary to shampoo, condition, de frizz and blow dry before heading anywhere.

Still, going boy short hasn’t exactly liberated me.  I left the salon with a stash of “product” that I’m told is all that stands between me, and life as a dandelion.  But a short back and sides can only take up so much of time.  Which is good because I’ve started calculating the hours I’ve blown on hirsute pursuits and translating that into other activities.  If I’d done this a few years back, I could have been writing this in Espanol, amigo.

Comments on this post will close at 8pm AEDT.

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46 comments

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    • Mahhrat says:

      05:56am | 12/03/13

      I love this article.

      Ladies, take note:  Men don’t notice because we don’t care.

      Are we attracted to physical beauty?  Yes, yes we certainly are.  Men are visual creatures. 

      Do men fall in love with physical beauty?  Nope.  We fall in love with who you are as a person.  We marry you for your sense of humour, or how you put up with our shit, or cos your dad’s pointing a shotgun at us; not because you do your hair different.

      If you’re with a bloke who’d leave you because you change your hair, you’re with the wrong bloke.

      Reply

    • Chris L says:

      07:21am | 12/03/13

      Oi! Shouldn’t you be getting to biblically know the Mrs Mahhrat?

    • nihonin says:

      07:35am | 12/03/13

      Speak for yourself Mahhrat, we’re all different.

    • Roscoe says:

      08:02am | 12/03/13

      I’m with Nihonin.  Speak for yourself.  Short hair is usually for women who have given up on remaining attractive for their man, or who have a man who didn’t pay any attention in the first place. 

      I notice what my wife wears and looks like everyday and compliment her on it.  I don’t care how much she spends on shoes/hair/make up because she is doing it to look good for me.  What kind of idiot bags his wife for spending money to look attractive for him?  Would you rather she looks like a dag to save a few bucks?  That’ll do wonders for your sex life and overall relationship won’t it!

      Long hair, like dresses, is generally the preserve of women.  I like feminine looking women - these are generally the ones wearing dresses and keeping their hair long.  Ooooh, I’m so sexist…

    • Elphaba says:

      08:25am | 12/03/13

      Well said Mahhrat, and apologies for not congratulating you sooner on your nuptials. I hope it was wonderful day. smile

      For the record re: article, jeez, here’s hoping there are more important things to judge me on than my hair.  Blonde, just past my shoulders and curly.  I colour it myself.  My hairdresser doesn’t even mind, he helps me pick the right shades to go, and just does a cut.  Shop colour doesn’t last as well in my hair for some reason, the $15 Loreal at the supermarket does a fantastic job.

    • morrgo says:

      09:19am | 12/03/13

      @Roscoe:
      No, short hair is for women who feel confident about themselves without the fallback female crutch of long hair. 
      Physical attractiveness is a totally separate issue from short hair: they are not mutually exclusive.

    • Mahhrat says:

      09:49am | 12/03/13

      @Roscoe - Ever worn a dress or skirt mate?  They are fantastic, cool things that are brilliant when you’re out and about (though I recommend a good pair of boardies underneath).

      As to the hair - and I’m talking about hair, not about looking after yourself in general, which every person should do - why does short hair mean she’s given up?  It doesn’t, it means she changed her hair.

      Is she not allowed to dress up for herself?  Why is it all about what “her man” thinks?

      Seriously, we need to get over ourselves a little.

    • O_O says:

      09:57am | 12/03/13

      My mates and I all agree that we don’t find short hair on women attractive. But since it’s completely subjective there’s probably no point debating this!

      Interestingly though it seems that whenever one of my partner’s friends cuts their hair short all the female friends tell her it suits them, whereas all the male friends in the group go “hmmm….”.

      I made the rookie mistake of telling my partner that one of her friends has gone and made herself look like a bloke with her new haircut….schoolboy error indeed!

    • Kika says:

      10:00am | 12/03/13

      “If you’re with a bloke who’d leave you because you change your hair, you’re with the wrong bloke”

      My ex was like that. I was a blonde child who’s hair went browner as she got older. My natural colour is like blonde hair that hasn’t been washed in a month or so.  So when I decided to ditch the peroxide and embrace my darkening colour and my olive skin tone and go browner he told me in no uncertain terms “NO girlfriend of mine will have brown hair”. Huh? I HAD browny-mousy hair and was telling ME that I had to either make myself go blonde or have no relationship with him!

      A few years later I ditched him. Best thing I ever did. He’s now with another blonde who has lost so much weight since being with him I really worry about her mental state of mind. He used to say all sorts of nasty things to me, not just about my hair. She wasn’t fat to begin with but she’s plunged over the point of looking healthy to looking anorexic. Poor thing. I guess that’s what you get when you fight over someone elses’ scraps. You end up looking like who you really are -  a mangy, flea ridden b**ch. 

      Geez that ended up nastier than I thought it was going to be! Hahaha.

    • Steve Jobless says:

      10:26am | 12/03/13

      Agree with morrgo:
      I don’t personally favor long or short hair. I do, however, think that there is less to hide behind with short hair. It places more emphasis on a woman’s facial features. I think that short hair and a pretty face are a great combination.

    • Elphaba says:

      10:38am | 12/03/13

      I would shave my head for the zombie apocalypse though.  No sense having something the zombies can potentially grab onto.  Let’s face it, no one’s really going to care by then what colour/cut you have…

    • Paul says:

      12:06pm | 12/03/13

      I absolutely love women with short hair… It tends to go with an air of confidence and has the added advantage of the “hairless neck nuzzle” (for the same reasons she would like you to cut a little hair off “down there”).  Long haired girls are nice too, but short hair is what does it for me!

    • Tim says:

      12:43pm | 12/03/13

      I’ve got to say that for me its a rare female who can have short hair and still be physically attractive.

    • Audra Blue says:

      04:49pm | 12/03/13

      I have long (half way down my back), thick curly dark brown hair.  It’s pretty wild when left to its own devices.  I’ve had many men not only compliment me on it but ask to touch and smell it (depending on the guy, I’ve usually said yes).  They’ve also told me that women should have long hair because it makes them look prettier.  I’ve never had a man say I should have short hair.  They’ve usually said, “please don’t cut it!”  From a young age, I discovered the power of hair and always made sure it was lustrous looking.  The hair, combined with floaty femmy dresses not only make me feel lovely, but seem to work wonders on most men. 

      Mahhrat, you say that men don’t care what our hair looks like, but I counter that by saying if I went around with short boy hair, I wouldn’t have gotten so much interest in the male population over the years as I have.  I think I’ll keep my long hair, it suits me better, is easy to take care of and helps with getting dates.

      A girl can’t ask for more than that!

    • miss golightly says:

      06:52am | 12/03/13

      Honestly i dont like short hair on women. Mine is down to the middle of my back. Its work ,most definately. But it feels sort of godessy. Id feel like part of me is missing without it…

      Reply

    • Louie the Fly says:

      07:35am | 12/03/13

      Amy.  Update your photo so we can notice!

      I think short hair is incredibly sensible, but it’s sad how many women over 50 do the (almost) buzz cut when it really doesn’t suit them.  I know it’s convenient especially up here in the North, but it’s got such a hard, unforgiving look about it.

      Reply

    • SKA says:

      07:50am | 12/03/13

      I had hair to mid back for a couple of years. Chopped it short mid last year - technically shoulder length but it’s wavy so it looks like a bob. I love it. Incidentally, my flatmates at the time (total bimbos) told me that guys don’t like short hair and I’d get less attention. I didn’t believe them then and certainly, I get more attention with my crop than I ever got with the long. Two reasons. One being I like to think I’m more confident with short hair. Second reason, I think sometimes it’s good to be the girl with the short hair in the sea of long hair at a club, it makes you different, and perhaps worth talking to. I don’t have a short back and sides cut so it still takes maintenance but I’ve been gobsmacked how it can still look good after a solid gym work out if I just straighten the fringe (ie takes 2 minutes) - or if I can’t be bothered, just put a headband on.

      Reply

    • ramases says:

      07:54am | 12/03/13

      I’m ambivalent on this subject as in 40 odd years of marriage my lovely wife has had so many hair style changes that I’ve lost count. We have gone from mousy blonde to black to mousy blonde to scary white blonde to now a great shade of honey blond that really suit, She has had long hair, short hair, in between hair, curly hair, wavy hair and now straight hair and I’ve always commented on each and every change.
      Its a fact of life guys that women will go though these changes periodically . The fact that most men don’t really care except about the absurd prices they are charge has nothing to do with who they are and how much you love them as its only a cosmetic change and the person under that new hairdo is still intrinsically the same person.
        What really annoys most men is the fact that each and every new do comes with a swag of really useless products that the good woman has been conned into buying to achieve the look which in most cases is a complete and utter waste of time and money.
        The author went on about men and their short hairdo’s but failed to also say that most men don’t spend more than the haircut is worth and the majority don’t come home laden with this and that to make the do complete. Into the hairdressers, have the cut and out, fast, simple and a third the cost of most simple haircuts for women.
        I’ll let you into a little secret, most men do notice their partners new hairdo but fail to comment as they know that the cost when mentioned will lead to the inevitable argument about wasted money, something that most women cant understand.

      Reply

    • Jamo says:

      08:54am | 12/03/13

      And not too many men don’t go out of their way to make sure the missus ‘misses out on something’ when the missus doesn’t notice the new haircut. Totally stupid, irrelevant waste of an article, but something can still be learned about the author

    • Jamo says:

      08:54am | 12/03/13

      And not too many men go out of their way to make sure the missus ‘misses out on something’ when the missus doesn’t notice the new haircut. Totally stupid, irrelevant waste of an article, but something can still be learned about the author

    • Jamie says:

      08:06am | 12/03/13

      But what is he going to hold on to??

      Reply

    • Roxanne says:

      08:28am | 12/03/13

      I have very long hair. To me it is feminine, and I love it. I don’t mind the work really, after the years go by you sort of get used to it.

      Reply

    • Kika says:

      10:12am | 12/03/13

      Me too. I love my long hair. I am lucky that my hair is pretty good and I can get by without much fuss other than shampoo, conditioner and brushing it. And maybe some argan oil after blowdrying. That’s it. Don’t need all the products.

    • Rebecca says:

      11:35am | 12/03/13

      I’m very jealous. My hair is thick, frizzy and wild unless I use a straightening iron every day - but unfortunately that kills the hair and makes it worse so I can’t do that any more. I want long and straight, but my only option is short and curly :(

      Men used to look at me a lot when my hair was much longer and straightened, but since I got the shoulder-length chop I haven’t attracted a single glance.

    • ByStealth says:

      03:51pm | 12/03/13

      Please keep your hair long ladies (unless you are one of the rare few who can pull off short hair).

      While I understand it takes a great deal of effort to maintain, its much appreciated.

      Cutting it short seems like ‘I can’t be bothered to put in the effort to look good anymore for my partner’

    • Craig Mc says:

      08:36am | 12/03/13

      Choose carefully.  You might go in thinking you’ll look like Audrey Hepburn, but there’s always the chance you’ll come out looking like Grace Jones.

      Some things once seen, can’t be unseen.

      Reply

    • Gregg says:

      08:49am | 12/03/13

      ” For four decades I wondered why a woman would cut her hair off. “
      For four decades!
      I would never have thought that Amy and if your new look is anything like how the blonde has hers, good for you for it looks great.

      I can understand some women also wanting to stick with longer hair too for it is all just a very personal thing.
      Males fantasise about their hair too sometimes or at least this one does and certainly my 15yo+ male dog has never seemed to be too keen on getting a cut.

      I have gone over the years from having a near afro mop head in my twenties, kind of Jimmy Hendrix style to more standard if not so short hair for a couple of decades and then a bit of a perm and short sides shear when travelling in tropics for a bit, all management free and then complimented with a Bangkok blonde colouring which kind of came out traffic light orange and then after a Hanoi sidewalk barber’s cut I was kind of neapolitan for a bit with grey/black/orange - great look and yes the immi bloke had a few questions on my return to Oz.

      Since then, I have been a nude nut once for Leukaemia funds raising, $300+  from fellow dog walkers and that was interesting for over just a few weeks you have a few different looks, real nude with closest of shaves, then a light soft suede type feel, then the new shooting, bit like Ant and finally a short fur look before getting longer again, all for nix.

      Having a cheap buzzer run about and a bit of snipping has meant not having paid for a hair cut for probably more than a decade now, hell of a lot cheaper than what we pay for the dogs!

      And then just recently when I was getting longer I spotted a woman in our beachside park with a braiding kind of set up doing something like what the Williams sisters had trouble with in the tennis once and I thought just a bit longer and I could have that hippy look!

      Reply

    • TRBNGR says:

      09:24am | 12/03/13

      Bring back the muff.

      Now surely there’s some ‘short hair’ we can all agree on!?

      Reply

    • Elphaba says:

      10:44am | 12/03/13

      From ‘Californication’.  No naughty stuff, just a little bit of language…

    • Kika says:

      10:07am | 12/03/13

      Short hair can look awesome, but you’ve got to have the right face shape and softness in your face to carry it off well, otherwise you can end up looking much older or a bit masculine.

      I’ve had long hair for most of my life. I only cut it shorter after high school to rid myself of the years of damage trying to keep my fading blonde hair lighter. My hair is pretty much back to my natural shade (dark blonde - chestnutty) thanks to careful work by my hairdresser. But my husband loves my hair darker. I remember once I got back from another hairdresser (saw once and never again) who was a bit over zealous with the highlights who thought I should be blonde too like everyone who worked there. My husband laughed and thought I looked ridiculous. I agreed, I did. Blonde doesn’t ‘suit’ me. Yes I was blonde up until I was 14-15 but I don’t have a ‘blonde’ personality. (Is there such thing?). 

      He’s had his fair share of relationships with blondes and none of them were that great. We have this theory that blondes have a sense of self entitlement and ‘preciousness’ over other people, regardless of what their natural colour is (if they even know what it is). Only one friend of mine doesn’t fit this rule and she’s very naturally blonde. All my mum’s family and friends and other family I know are like this.

      So glad I ended up with the brunette hair I always wanted as a kid! BRUNETTES ROCK!

      Reply

    • ibast says:

      10:15am | 12/03/13

      If you are going to cut your hair short you better make sure you have breasts and some hips.  Some men might making love to boys, but I don’t.

      Reply

    • Markus says:

      11:56am | 12/03/13

      I find it tends to be thinner, petite girls who are much more able to pull off short hair.
      And you live in an area with some strange looking women if a lack of DD breasts suddenly makes them look like a man.

    • ibast says:

      03:26pm | 12/03/13

      “I find it tends to be thinner, petite girls who are much more able to pull off short hair.”

      You are right, but that doesn’t stir the author as much.

    • JC says:

      10:23am | 12/03/13

      Great article! Love the phase ’  what you can catch with rope’

      I haven’t had short hair since 2009. Time for a chop I think!

      Reply

    • back biter says:

      10:36am | 12/03/13

      I like long hair on a woman, but too long makes a feature of their hair, whereas their face should be complimented by their hair. I also like short hair, like on Michelle Williams. Verrrry sexy. Unfortunately when my wife of 60 years goes to the hairdressers, there’s a big pile of hair on the floor too, and that’s only off her back.

      Reply

    • Tanya says:

      11:00am | 12/03/13

      ‘Since noticing can lead to discussing, and discussing can lead to cost.  And the cost of professional cuts, colours and highlights is something that is generally inexplicable to heterosexual males.’ TOO RIGHT! Discretion is the key to avoiding maintenance cost discussions. I wear mine up so it’s less noticeable.  I LOVE IT!

      Reply

    • Jamo says:

      11:12am | 12/03/13

      And your bloke probably avoids talking about what he paid for his golf clubs

      Reply

    • Joan Bennett says:

      12:03pm | 12/03/13

      I’ve got long hair so I don’t have to style it.  Short hair can’t be left to just hang - you have to do something with it or you look like a boy from one of those posh schools…  And because you don’t have to blow dry long hair, it doesn’t need cutting as often, so you save a heap of money.  My hair dresser said women who dye their hair or blow dry it are the ones that have to have it cut ever couple of months as the ends get damaged by all that attention.  I only have to go 2 or 3 times a year :-D

      Reply

    • Beiha says:

      12:21pm | 12/03/13

      I would give anything to be able to wear my hair down. I have immensely thick, very curly, very frizzy and voluminous dark hair. It is very dry but very strong. I only go to the hairdresser once a year as every time I go it’s at least two hours in the chair and almost $300 due to my hair being so unmanageable. I can’t even straighten it myself as it takes too long. I would kill to have nice straight hair. It looks amazing when I have it professionally straightened, and I agree that most men like long straight hair as opposed to boofy thick afro hair. However, my husband seems to love my hair and wishes I could wear it down .. but I feel self conscious. Maybe chemical hair straightening is the way to go…?

      I think women who can pull off the short cut (e.g. Michelle Williams, Emma Watson, the late and fabulous AudreyHepburn) look amazing. But short wouldn’t suit me as I don’t have pixie pretty features

      Reply

    • Tanya says:

      02:09pm | 12/03/13

      @Beiha,

      Ordinary coconut oil overnight once per week and a sulphate free shampoo/conditioner product called REF.543 actually works if you persist for a couple of months. REF is expensive but worth it.

    • you bewdy says:

      02:09pm | 12/03/13

      Ok, Michelle Williams can wear short hair very well. I’m not so sure about Audrey Hepburn, although she had that doe eyed elphin face. She also had protruding ears, and a thin neck line, which detracted from her overall appearance. Short hair styles on younger women are most successful with a 3 dimensional view. Leslie Caron was an example I can think of. Another would be Adelaide Clemens, of Parade’s End fame. And how about Kim Novak.

    • KimL says:

      12:47pm | 12/03/13

      Long hair on young women looks stunning but fast forward the clock 40 years and long grey hair is just aging it looks very witchy that is one reason so many older women have short hair… convenience is another reason..its far easier to manage

      Reply

    • Nostromo says:

      01:57pm | 12/03/13

      Amy, do you not know one of the 50 all-time biblical rules for wimen?

      Don’t cut your hair…EVER!

      smile

      Reply

    • Josephine says:

      01:59pm | 12/03/13

      I’ve always wanted long hair since 2nd grade when my mother ignored my protests and cut it really short because she was sick of doing my hair for school every morning. I was devastated and I hated it.

      Over time I’ve had it various lengths, permed, layered, bob, etc. but I keep going back to having it long for it’s versatility. If I’m having a bad hair day, I can wear it up. Although I’ve always had straight hair, lately it’s become curly so I have the option of straightening it or leaving it loose & curly, depending on my mood. I don’t really care what other people think, I prefer my hair long and I like how it feels against my skin.

      Reply
 
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