The worst songs ever written: according to you

What makes a song crap?

According to you, dear readers, the most common symptoms include:

• An annoyingly tuneless or repetitive melody;
• The song is accompanied by tragic video;
• The song now reminds you of lift music;
• The song now really is lift music.
• You associate the song with a myriad of bad experiences, holidays, friends, lovers or dates.
• The song has made a placid comeback with a screaming version of the original;
• The song has made a comeback with a placid version of a screaming original.
• The song gives you head spins, makes you queasy,aimless or suicidal;
• You now associate the song with bad ads, the lead singers unusual taste in clothes or hairstyles or dance moves;
• The most common of all - you hear it once and it gets stuck in your head.

Songs and artists you want to see perish (in order of preference):
4 Non Blondes
U2
Coldplay
Mariah Carey
My Sharona
Achy Brakey Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus
McCarthur Park, Jimmy Webb

Songs and artists you want protected:
Radiohead’s Karma Police
Jimi Hendrix
U2

Everyone had an opinion, here’s some of the ones that made us chuckle.

Simmo says:
Just curios how many contributers to this article have sold a written a song, recorded a song and sold records - none??
Nuff said

Dave says:
Slap your tongue Lexi.
Without Ice-T the world would never have had a whole musical genre devoted to encouraging people to go out and murder police officers. Ice-T was a rapper for decades before he ever moved across to TV/Movie land.

jimbo says:
Everyone thinks U2 write meaningful songs, how about ‘Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me..” Even Coldplay wouldn’t rip that stinker off.

Kick Knave says:
No Agadoo-doo-doo push pineapple, shake a tree!?! That should be number one on the worst of all time…

Amerigo says:
all along the watchtower ? the end ? pretty neat aye ? whats this? a highschool project ?

Daryl says:
You all missed a classic:
“Never been to me” by some 80’s chick who OD’d on a library of Mills and Boon.  Guaranteed to induce vomiting.

Mike says:
…I must admit I’m a little bit dissapointed at the exclusion of Black Betty, that song could suck a golf ball through a couple of meters of garden hose and then after that, the rest of the golf course.

patricek says:
Capricorn Dancer - if ever a song was put together in a couple of minutes to try to make some money!

nez says:
I feel rather stabby towards the contributors for some of the inclusions, but Joe Hildebrand redeemed you all by including “everything by Jeff Buckley”.  HALLELUJAH (especially!)

Brett says:
Seriously, no mention of Ring my bell by Collette, I know its a cover of an Anita Ward song but Collette’s version still gives me nightmares.

And now, back to you guys. Join the list and tell us what you think.