The worst songs ever written: according to you
Who can say exactly why we all love music but today’s Punch list of the 100 crappest songs of all time has made me sure of four things:
1. Absolutely everyone has an opinion on this topic
2. Absolutely no one agrees on this topic
3. While musical ability, fame, or output is celebrated, you don’t need it to know what you don’t like
4. People either love or hate Tim Freedman, there’s no grey area on this one.
What makes a song crap?
According to you, dear readers, the most common symptoms include:
• An annoyingly tuneless or repetitive melody;
• The song is accompanied by tragic video;
• The song now reminds you of lift music;
• The song now really is lift music.
• You associate the song with a myriad of bad experiences, holidays, friends, lovers or dates.
• The song has made a placid comeback with a screaming version of the original;
• The song has made a comeback with a placid version of a screaming original.
• The song gives you head spins, makes you queasy,aimless or suicidal;
• You now associate the song with bad ads, the lead singers unusual taste in clothes or hairstyles or dance moves;
• The most common of all - you hear it once and it gets stuck in your head.
Songs and artists you want to see perish (in order of preference):
4 Non Blondes
Achy Brakey Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus
McCarthur Park, Jimmy Webb
Songs and artists you want protected:
Radiohead’s Karma Police
Everyone had an opinion, here’s some of the ones that made us chuckle.
Just curios how many contributers to this article have sold a written a song, recorded a song and sold records - none??
Slap your tongue Lexi.
Without Ice-T the world would never have had a whole musical genre devoted to encouraging people to go out and murder police officers. Ice-T was a rapper for decades before he ever moved across to TV/Movie land.
Everyone thinks U2 write meaningful songs, how about ‘Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me..” Even Coldplay wouldn’t rip that stinker off.
Kick Knave says:
No Agadoo-doo-doo push pineapple, shake a tree!?! That should be number one on the worst of all time…
all along the watchtower ? the end ? pretty neat aye ? whats this? a highschool project ?
You all missed a classic:
“Never been to me” by some 80’s chick who OD’d on a library of Mills and Boon. Guaranteed to induce vomiting.
…I must admit I’m a little bit dissapointed at the exclusion of Black Betty, that song could suck a golf ball through a couple of meters of garden hose and then after that, the rest of the golf course.
Capricorn Dancer - if ever a song was put together in a couple of minutes to try to make some money!
I feel rather stabby towards the contributors for some of the inclusions, but Joe Hildebrand redeemed you all by including “everything by Jeff Buckley”. HALLELUJAH (especially!)
Seriously, no mention of Ring my bell by Collette, I know its a cover of an Anita Ward song but Collette’s version still gives me nightmares.
And now, back to you guys. Join the list and tell us what you think.
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