A feast of options in online dating
Ever hooked up at the supermarket?
Not me. I did see Poh Ling Yeow there once - but as I live in Adelaide I see each of our four celebrities at least on a weekly basis.
And beyond ``I like your paintings’’ (this was pre-Masterchef) there was nothing I could think of to blurt out in a supermarket aisle which wouldn’t have come across as lame (note to self, buy a copy of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists).
Seems I should have just peeked into her basket. If you believe UK supermarket giant ASDA, the key to compatibility could lie in your purchasing habits.
They have set up a dating service which purports to match you to your true love based on your purchasing habits.
As with all online dating sites however, this method is tainted by self selection rather than basing it on what you actually buy - it apparently allows you to choose from a range of goods, which will profile you.
I predict a lot of truffle oil, eschallots and Wallpaper magazine selections on that list.
This is the consumables version of ``I am an outgoing person with good taste who wants to get the most out of life’‘.
The reality, a six pack of drinkable breakfasts, some cat litter and a box of cleanskins, reflects the truth. ``I am a time-poor workaholic without enough space for a dog who drinks to numb the pain of loneliness’‘.
While it’s fair to say I’m not a big fan of the ASDA idea, if it’s mashed together with another recent mobile technology brainwave, I can see the upside.
Grindr, the delightfully named gay male ``dating’’ app, which lets you find out how many available guys are in your area via the beauty of GPS, is now launching a version for straight women.
Meld the two ideas together, and we can all potentially find attractive friends who live close to us who will do our shopping.
Of course for the shallow and wealthy amongst us, there’s Elite Introductions International. ``Are you a single professional looking to meet your equal?’’ the website asks.
Well if so, rise above the great unwashed and avail yourselves of our service which will ensure we pair you with a lover who is not only well-remunerated, but tax-effective.
I shouldn’t scoff. It’s lonely at the top, so the saying goes. And you don’t have to be shallow to want to meet only those in your peer group. The same may not be said for the users at Sugardaddie.com. The curious thing about this site, which purports to set aspiring gold-diggers up with rich partners, is that it looks like it was set up by your 12 year old cousin in about 1998. It must be good though - its website sports an endorsement from Dr Phil.
Having partaken in the odd bit of online dating, I admit it’s hard to differentiate when it comes to quality and personality.
The problem is copywriting.
You would not believe the number of people out there who ``like to have fun’‘. Many are also partial to ``spending time with my friends and family’‘.
It’s good to set oneself apart from the occasional masochistic misanthrope but surely these things are a given.
Personally I would like to see the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission intervene, and ensure truth in advertising when it comes to online dating.
This would remove the ambiguity, ensure expectations were not unduly raised, and lead to some understandable and truthful self-promotion, as follows.
``I’m high maintenance but I’m really hot’’ - fair call, you know what you’re getting into.
``I’m a good catch but I suspect I may be losing my hair’’ you’ll get four years of showing me off to your friends followed by a lifetime of devotion once the last follicle drops.
``My hobbies involve drinking, sitting, and drinking while sitting’’ according to statistics, 39 per cent of Australian males.
If this sort of reality tickles your fancy, head over to The Ugly Bug Ball a dating site specifically catering for the aesthetically challenged.
Personally I don’t think I’ll have any problems though. I’m a guy who likes having fun, with a good sense of humour, who enjoys things which are enjoyable and getting the most out of life. What’s not to love?
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