IF you happened to be walking through the Eastland shopping centre in Melbourne’s eastern suburbs on Friday morning, you might have witnessed a bit of old school political campaigning.

Hoyagoin luv…Bob Hawke in action with Joolia. Photo: Renee Nowtarger.

Eastland is at the heart of Ringwood and Ringwood is at the heart of Deakin, the second most marginal seat in Victoria, currently held by a sharpish young bloke from the Labor party, Mike Symon.

Friday was a big day for Mike. He opened his new campaign digs, inflated several hundred balloons bearing his name and handed out ham and cheese sandwiches with a grin. And for just a short while, he got to bask in the tanning salon kissed glow of a Labor big gun, on loan to kick things along in a seat looking a bit shaky.

If you doubt Robert James Lee Hawke isn’t the biggest gun in Labor’s armoury, you simply weren’t there on Friday to watch the Silver Bodgie pull out his finest shopping centre swagger.

It was an extraordinary display, an old dog from the roughest of our political junkyards striding through a shopping centre sniffing bums and cocking his leg like it was 1983 and it still all lay before him – Mandela, the Accord and furtive cuddles with Blanche.

Keating wouldn’t have had a chance if he’d been shopping at Eastland that day, Howard would have hidden in the bakery pretending to choose some scones.

Women of all ages blushed, wilted and looked around to makes sure their husbands and boyfriends weren’t watching as Hawkie leaned in close, placed a hand gently in the small of their backs and with a sparkle in his eye said “howyagoin luv?”

Butchers tried giving him bundles of snags to take home; little kiddies cried into their ice creams at the joy of it all and teenage boys with Justin Beiber haircuts for a few minutes contemplated giving up sniffing aerosole cans and instead volunteering to hand out voting cards for their local Labor member.

Stirring, stirring stuff and enough to make you long for those old days of genuine political personality and to hate the current set-piece circus even more.

I thought about this over the weekend as I prepared for my own roll in the 2010 election campaign, one half of The Herald Sun’s Hitchhikers Guide to the Election.

Today I leave Melbourne for the further corners of Victoria, hitchhiking through the state with a video camera and my wits to hear those voices that don’t get within a shout of the shopping centre walk throughs, hospital visits and party-sponsored cake drives that both of the major political parties dress up today as political campaigning.

The only focus group we care about is the one that can give us a lift to the next town while telling us what they really think of this election.

We will travel anywhere people have a vote in the state of Victoria and put on the public record those views ignored by political party head office.

My colleague John Ferguson hit the road last week and managed to get to within stone’s throw of Mildura. Along the way he met a range of people who differed in their political views but who were united in the belief that Canberra wasn’t listening.

Truck drivers, engine salesmen, hotel staff, bakers and the odd postie shared their views on immigration, climate change, the real reason they dumped Kevin Rudd and two leaders who seem different but the same.

Some will knock us and say it’s just a stunt as much as the pollies try to stage. Others will say we see this type of coverage as old hat, that its been done before with an old Falcon, a new Monaro and a red fire truck that hardly left the city because its drivers never left the pub.

To quote Hawkie when asked about Tony Abbott’s leadership credentials: pure bullshit.

This is the real deal, the genuine article, the cats guts and as good as a bought one. Only members of the Milat family need not apply.

- Nick Leys and John Ferguson are on The Hitchhikers Guide to the Election until August 21. Follow their progress at The Herald Sun, Facebook and Twitter and they hitch their was across the state.

Most commented

14 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Against the Man says:

      07:10am | 26/07/10

      Politics is interesting. We want a good future? Vote in the right government. Labor/Greens = Wrong government

    • Seano says:

      01:44pm | 26/07/10

      For there to be good government there needs to be good opposition, a viable alternative government. It’s a shame with LNP under Tony Abbott we are presented with no policies except for transparent stunts like Abbott’s paid maternity leave. There is no way a conservative of Abbott’s character will ever tax big business to fund social welfare.

      Abbott is unelectable and the LNP are not a viable alternative government at the moment.

    • DD Ball says:

      06:14pm | 26/07/10

      That is it Seano? Maternity leave? you think that too much, but you accept an ETS, a mining tax, a tax grab of 30% of GST under the label health reform, giving away $400 million for old cars in the hopes poor people will spend $8 billion from their kitty? What fantasy land are you describing? Mr Abbott’s policy is reasonable and supportable. In contrast, the ALP are just a rag tag team of pork barrel collectors.

    • Seano says:

      08:37pm | 26/07/10

      Abbott will never tax big business to support social welfare. Pretending otherwise might be a good stunt but it shows you both lack credibility.

    • DD Ball says:

      08:05am | 26/07/10

      Old style electioneering? I have no money, but I am going through Carramar, Villawood, Chester Hill and Bankstown today. No ham sandwiches from me, but i will tell you my story if you will listen. Paul Keating used to hold the seat of Blaxland .. he will not be by my side. I am an independent. I am also a member of several parties, including the Liberal Party, Australian Business Party and a Small Business and their Employees party. But I am running as an independent .. without the help of a silver bodgie.

    • 6c legs says:

      01:03pm | 26/07/10

      When you’re in Bankstown, Mr Ball you could call into the Care Leavers Australia Network’s office at Shop 1/359 Chapel Road ?
      I know that Leonie Sheedy, CLAN’s president/spokesperson will happily share a coffee and sanga with you, and you could find out the issues and needs of Forgotten Australians…

    • DD Ball says:

      06:09pm | 26/07/10

      Thank you 6c Legs. Maybe soon.

    • Labor voter says:

      09:22am | 26/07/10

      Symon.. sharpish? Really? The blokes about as sharp as a wooden spoon.

    • PW says:

      12:05pm | 26/07/10

      “I thought about this over the weekend as I prepared for my own roll in the 2010 election campaign, one half of The Herald Sun’s Hitchhikers Guide to the Election”....
      The other half handing out Labor promo’s?  And I thought reporters were all unbiased.

    • Robert Smissen Rural SA says:

      12:30pm | 26/07/10

      Oh I remember this “silly old bugger”, what was it he said? ? Oh that’s right “No child will be living in poverty by 1990 under a Hawke government”, Yeah he’s relevant, NOT ! ! ! ! !

    • Bobster says:

      02:30pm | 26/07/10

      That’s all it takes for you to make a decision on a political party? Jesus Bob, who do you vote for? If bullshit absolute statements are enough to turn you off of a pollie then you mustn’t have been to a polling station in decades. Never, ever GST didn’t put you off though, I bet.

    • Sav says:

      02:04pm | 26/07/10

      I was there on Friday, and it was as every bit as Nick described.

      Brilliant.

    • 6c legs says:

      03:18pm | 26/07/10

      Those having a rant into your mic generally have no idea, beside the latest headline/soundbyte, what any of the parties differences are. Our education system could do a far better job of educating how the Australian Parliamentry system actually works.  It’s embarrassing how little the Australian Joe and Jane Public knows about this countries inner workings/history - and it’s like it’s the modern media’s aim in life is to keep them dumb and distracted.

      How can one claim to “not be listened to” when the only conversation about politics ‘you’  probably get involved in is gossiping over the fence about the voice/hair colour/private life/gender/swimming attire of a person that unless one lives in the electorate you *won’t even vote for!* ???
      Yet because they are so fortunate to be citizens of this great land they are the ones to have to biggest say on polling day…

      The bigger this countries population has become the more greedy, insular, and downright mean the “average voter” has become. *sigh* - thanks jonnie.

      I too have been talking to the voters, and to be honest, I am dismayed and sad at how mean spirited most of them are - heres just a sample from this morning.

      1/  want something done about Climate Change - but not if it’s gunna cost *them* anything!
      2/  don’t like African immigrants/refugees because ‘they’ might get some dollars to assist them to start a new life - ‘oh noes, of course’  “their colour has nothing to do with it”—- but give them a cheeky lead in phrase - like I did just this morning to a 40 something mother of 5 and just listen to the racist bile that they’ll happily spout if they think that ‘you’re one-of-them’.!! Heaven forbid that there be any black faces in our vanilla society… “the abos, well were’re stuck wiv em, and [they] should just get on with raping eachother and drinking themselves to death now that we’ve said sorry - but they keep holding their hands out… ”
      This charming lady was on a roll, she only trailed off when she looked at and saw my face was RED, and finally twigged that; No, I wasn’t ‘like her’ after all. whoopsie

      It’s hard enough listening to the ignorant and selfish so and so’s. To be their “Representative” and speak for them? no thanks, my stomach just isn’t strong enough!  I hope for your sake that either your stomach is stronger than mine, or that the people along the Murray are different, but somehow I doubt that they are…

    • Pedant says:

      12:38pm | 27/07/10

      We all have a *role* to play in the upcoming election. Here’s hoping some thought goes into your voting so we don’t all *roll* over and play dead…

 

Facebook Recommendations

Read all about it

Punch live

Up to the minute Twitter chatter

Paul Colgan

@mrjoeaston it's great sir. Although I'm waiting for a repeat of telling the treasurer to go f himself

Paul Colgan

@mrjoeaston's segment on #FRSunday is easily the fourth best thing about Sunday morning

Daniel Piotrowski

RT @newscomauHQ: NZ pollie who went viral after thundering speech in favour of gay marriage has a special message for the world. http://t.…

Daniel Piotrowski

Exclusive op-ed: NZ pollie who went viral after thundering speech in favour of gay marriage has a message for us: http://t.co/DP0JX9PmL4

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

28 comments

Newsletter

Read all about it

Sign up to the free News.com.au newsletter