With Parliament over for the year and Christmas just around the corner, our politicians will be looking forward to a well-earned rest. So what will they be reading over the summer break?

Many of 'em are raiding the self-help section. Picture: Jeff Darmanin

Usually they tell us they’re tucking into long, complex works by Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or biographies about obscure and impressive sounding military strategists from ancient Rome. Of course that’s rubbish.

Luckily, someone in Kevin Rudd’s office has leaked the entire list of what our leaders will really be reading this summer. Some of the highlights are reproduced below.

Julia Gillard
How to Be Popular
She may have bounced in the polls in recent weeks, but really, our PM is still about as popular as Andrew Bolt at a latte art competition in North Fitzroy. This book will be just what Julia needs to get 2012 off to a winning start. 

Tony Abbott:
“Getting Past No”
Being pathologically-programed to always say no may seem funny to us, but it can’t be much fun for Tony Abbott. This William Ury classic will provide the Opposition leader with some workable tips to get into a positive frame of mind. 

Also reading: The international bestseller “Getting to Yes

Kevin Rudd
“Self Defence Against Knife Attacks”
If only Kevin Rudd had had this on his 2009/10 reading list, he might still be in the top job. With 1,700 full-colour photographs and a section on “distraction, control and disarmament techniques”, Kevin will never be knifed again.

Also reading: “Irrelevance: Webster’s Timeline History, 1788 – 2007”

Robert Oakeshott
“How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less”
The Independent MP took a full 17 minutes to tell us that he’d be backing the Labor Government in the current parliament. He could have saved us all 16.5 minutes of our lives if he’d read this book first.

Barnaby Joyce
“13 Things That Don’t Make Sense”
The National Party Senator will be comforted to know that he isn’t the only thing that doesn’t make sense in this world; there are thirteen other things.

Andrew Wilkie
“How to Make $100,000 a Year Gambling for a Living”
There’s every probability that Independent MP Andrew Wilkie will be out of a job after the next election, so he’s keen to explore other ways to make a crust.

Bob Brown
“Die Rupert Murdoch Methode”
This is actually a German book and the title means The Rupert Murdoch Method. Unfortunately, Bob just read the first three words and moved it straight to the top of his reading list.

Bob Katter
“Homophobia: A History”
Bob isn’t the only person who hates gay people, there’s a whole book full of homophobes. Perfect light summer reading. 

Christopher Pyne
“An Irritating Man”
Apparently Christopher thought this book was about him (he usually only reads books about himself). But it’s actually a romance about a Hollywood writer who returns to his hometown in Indiana to court a school teacher. Close enough. 

Also reading: Michael Nichol’s classic “The Lost Art of Listening”

Chris Bowen
“Worst Jobs In History: The Most Unenviable Jobs Of The Last Two Thousand Years”

Coming up with ways to alienate, humiliate and imprison poor, desperate and often under-age people from warn-torn countries might sound like a crap job, but it’s not as bad as swilling the piss out of the crotch of a knight’s armour. Actually…

Also reading: Mikel Rothenberg’s “Understanding X-Rays: A Plain English Approach”

Peter Slipper
“How to Climb the Money Tree: Judas Iscariot’s Guide to Collecting Silver”
The new Speaker has made a good start to his career as a disloyal, untrustworthy, money-hungry rogue; but I’m sure there’s still a lot he can learn from Judas. 

Julie Bishop
“Stop Staring”
Julie’s death-stare has frightened adversaries, colleagues and small children alike. This tome from Jason Ospia will help the member for Curtin take on a more natural, human look.

Also reading: “The Magic Eye 3D Puzzle Book”

Peter Garrett
Beds Are Burning: Midnight Oil: The Journey
Peter forgot this year that he is passionately against nuclear expansion and the US military. Nothing like a bit of summer reading to remind him of his principles. 

Most commented

90 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • Erick says:

      05:02am | 14/12/11

      Punch commenters have their summer reading lists, too!

      acotrel - “How to Make Sense”, by Robert Franz Flesch
      “How to Get Over Him and Learn from Your Mistakes: A Survival Guide”, by Denician Angeleia

      I’m sure others can come up with more ...

    • acotrel says:

      05:34am | 14/12/11

      erick - “The Female Eunuch” by Germaine Greer !

    • mick says:

      06:31am | 14/12/11

      What about “How to better access the feeding trough” or maybe “Work out how to get your over generous superannuation after 1 term” or “I want a salary increase which I’ll make sure working Australians can’t get”.

      There’s no end of reading.  I’m sure they’ll all find their interest.

    • Unionist says:

      07:07am | 14/12/11

      Erick - ‘Broccoli with cheese sauce’ enough said
      ATM - ‘the receiver’ bobbing with Bob

    • Tony of Poorakistan says:

      07:59am | 14/12/11

      Julia Gillard - ‘‘The Truth about Lying” by Stan Walker ISBN 1570715114

    • Tony of Poorakistan says:

      08:00am | 14/12/11

      Julia Gillard - ‘‘Subjects of Deceit: A Phenomenology of Lying’’ by Alison Leigh Brown

    • Tony of Poorakistan says:

      08:03am | 14/12/11

      Julia Gillard ‘‘The Liar in Your Life’’ by Robert Feldman  
       
      And a quote from the author ..... ‘‘“Once you lie, it’s very easy for it to become habitual,” says Feldman. “The more often you do it, the more likely you’re going to do it in the future.”
       
      He got that right. Gillard can’t open her mouth without lying these days.

    • Chris L says:

      11:59am | 14/12/11

      On Tony Abbott’s reading list - When No Means No: Guide To Brassicaceae Self-Incompatibility by Rumen Ivanov, Isabelle Fobis-Loisy & Thierry Gaude. Strangely this is a botanical book but I’m sure there’s still a few lessons in there for him.

    • acotrel says:

      01:44pm | 14/12/11

      @ChrisL
      ‘Strangely this is a botanical book but I’m sure there’s still a few lessons in there for him.’

      Well he IS a weed ! We need a lion to come and spray on him.

    • Against the Man says:

      02:39pm | 14/12/11

      Poor Unionist, why no replies? Can’t stand the beat down? Big talk with no backup? The best victory is when your enemy f@#ks themselves over! HAHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

      And acotrel the ACAT assessment will be next week, we’ll find you a nice home. Today is Wednesday wink

    • Sony B Goode says:

      05:12am | 14/12/11

      Komrade Gillard goes to sleep every night with Das Kapital by Karl Marx.

    • acotrel says:

      05:26am | 14/12/11

      Tony Abbott goes to sleep every night with Mein Kampf !

    • Trevor says:

      07:00am | 14/12/11

      That’s actually a good read Sony. It gives a great framework for understanding history for one.

    • Sony B Goode says:

      07:09am | 14/12/11

      acotrel, National Socialists are socialists. Might be news to you in your delusional state of retirement but liberals are free market radicals compared to national socialists.

      “We are socialists, we are enemies of today’s capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions.”—Adolf Hitler 1927

    • acotrel says:

      07:28am | 14/12/11

      @ Sony
      ‘acotrel, National Socialists are socialists. ‘

      It might be news to you, but there are both right wing, and left wing socialists.  The extreme right wing socialists are fascists and nazis, the extreme left wing socialists are communists.  The proponents of the two ideologies fought to the death at Stalingrad.  Hitler was right wing, Stalin was left wing.  I know you must be a Gen Y person, and a product of a dumbed down education systen, but do I have to make it plainer than that for your simple mind ?

    • Nic says:

      07:32am | 14/12/11

      Just a heads up, Sony, just because someone says they are something does not make it true. This counts double for Nazis.

    • Sony B Goode says:

      07:38am | 14/12/11

      Trevor everything Marxist has been discredited repeatedly. The labor theory of value is kaput. The idea of flattening wealth distributions in a market is gonesky, markets are scale free networks. Material equality has been shown to be a recipe for mass poverty. There is nothing left of any sort of ideological bedrock for socialism. The world is waking up from a century of nightmare policy

      Komrade Gillard is a fabian socialist, a species virtually extinct and good riddance to it

    • acotrel says:

      07:40am | 14/12/11

      @Sony B Goode
      ‘“We are socialists, we are enemies of today’s capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions.”—Adolf Hitler 1927 ‘

      So you’ve found common ground between the two ideologies - big deal !  The fact is that the two ideologies were radically different in all other respects, and diametrically opposed.  These days the ideologies have converged, but Abbott and the church are still a threat to democracy.
      It’s not socialism you should be paranoid about and oppose, but authoritarianism, and the totalitarianism of its extreme form.

    • Nathan says:

      07:44am | 14/12/11

      @Sony B Goode
      quoting Hitler that is always a good move

    • Erick says:

      08:42am | 14/12/11

      Communism and Nazism were, and are, two sides of the same coin. They’re more similar than different.

      In fact both ideologies produced near-identical results: Dictatorship, censorship, mass imprisonment, mass torture, mass murder, military aggression, mass expropriation, mass slavery, and more!

    • Sony B Goode says:

      08:49am | 14/12/11

      acotrel you are totally delusion, just because the left wing press talks about far right, doesn’t make it so. It’s nothing more or less than propaganda to insult conservatives, by bundling conservatives and nazies in the same camp.

      Nazis where never and have nothing in common with conservatives.

      Nazis where to the right of international socialist but still socialists, national socialists, hence there war on “inferior” races, like jews, gypsies etc. Nazis nationalised industry and caped wages, doesn’t sound like conservatives free market policy does it?

      More fool you for regurgitating this rubbish.

    • Trevor says:

      09:07am | 14/12/11

      Sony

      I have to take your capitalism-or-die attitude with a grain of salt considering your name is a cheap electronics ad!!

    • Chris L says:

      12:05pm | 14/12/11

      “hence there war on “inferior” races” - like refugees.

    • Erick says:

      12:46pm | 14/12/11

      @Chris L - ‘“hence there war on “inferior” races” - like refugees. ‘

      Refugees are not a race. Come on Chris L, you’re better than this.

    • Shooter says:

      03:53pm | 14/12/11

      Sony B Goode - reads The Ku Klux Klan: A Study of the American Mind

    • Shooter says:

      04:01pm | 14/12/11

      Didnt the LNP give billions to middle income families to buy votes before they lost the election. Thats something a communist party does? Or am I wrong. Either way both the liberals and Labor are communists

    • Alf says:

      04:35pm | 14/12/11

      @Shooter. “Didnt the LNP give billions to middle income families to buy votes before they lost the election”.

      Errr…no. Do you have any facts to back that statement?

    • Sony B Goode says:

      04:40pm | 14/12/11

      yep don’t like the liberals, but would they are preferable to the useless incompetent thieves in power now

    • Chris L says:

      06:08pm | 14/12/11

      I wasn’t trying very hard Erick. This kind of thread has more comedic than debating value.

    • acotrel says:

      05:19am | 14/12/11

      I will be reading ‘Battle Lines’.  I find it incredible that Tony Abbott is a Rhodes Scholar !

    • Reggie says:

      07:31am | 14/12/11

      Abbott is a lot smarter than you, champ. Just accept it smile

    • Fiddler says:

      07:47am | 14/12/11

      yes but then you often have difficulty believing facts and obvious things acotrel

    • Alf says:

      08:35am | 14/12/11

      @acotrel. Hey….you might even learn something new.

      Better than your usual - Donald Duck comics.

    • Trevor says:

      09:03am | 14/12/11

      Even more incredible is the fact that he still clings to his Catholic dogma after all that education!

      At least the ignorant have an excuse…

    • Zeta says:

      09:54am | 14/12/11

      So’s Kim Beazley, Bob Hawke, Malcolm Turnbull, Geoff Gallop, and Chris Pyne’s predecessor Ian Wilson. Richard Flanagan is too, but no one cars about him because his books are shit.

    • acotrel says:

      05:31am | 14/12/11

      ‘Peter Slipper
      “How to Climb the Money Tree: Judas Iscariot’s Guide to Collecting Silver”
      The new Speaker has made a good start to his career as a disloyal, untrustworthy, money-hungry rogue; but I’m sure there’s still a lot he can learn from Judas.  ‘

      I love this ! - LNP supporters can’t take a joke ! BAD LOSERS ! ! What really makes me laugh is all the legislation Julia has got through parliament under such poor circumstances !

    • TimB says:

      06:49am | 14/12/11

      Are you saying Peter Slipper was ‘just joking’ when he took the Speaker’s position?

      ...Ahuh.

    • acotrel says:

      07:06am | 14/12/11

      The look on Abbott’s face…....what a hoot ?

    • TimB says:

      08:32am | 14/12/11

      ...And we’re back to Acotrel’s disturbing fascination with Abbott. Which explains absolutely nothing.

      Look into Erick’s book suggestion Acotrel. If anyone needs to learn how to make sense, it’s you.

    • Harry says:

      10:00am | 14/12/11

      Perhaps if the press stopped covering Abbott’s every word (NO) then people wouldn’t talk about him so much.
      Who cares that the opposition leader has said NO once again but the media and the conservative dullards who live in hope.

    • TimB says:

      10:35am | 14/12/11

      @ ‘Harry’, agree.

      Instead of fostering this troubling obsession with Abbott, the media should be focusing on Julia & holding her government accountable. Really give her a serve when she screws up.

      ..Somehow though I think that this isn’t what you had in mind

    • Blind Freddy says:

      11:13am | 14/12/11

      @TimB

      Instead of complaining about media bias- buy a newspaper or start your own website.

    • Harry says:

      11:18am | 14/12/11

      TimB
      The Press does hold the government to account.

      They even make shit up when there is nothing to hold her to account for.
      Fabricating news is the bread and butter of the biggest print media company in Australia and lack of ethics is the key lubricant that facilitates this.
      But you already knew that - didn’t you timmie?

    • TimB says:

      11:35am | 14/12/11

      I see you didn’t read my comment yesterday Freddy.

      Can’t say that I’m shocked. Hard for you to nail this reading thing beiong blind and all.

      ‘Harry’ feel free to share what you believe has been made up, and the attendent proof.

    • Blind Freddy says:

      01:58pm | 14/12/11

      @TimB

      I read it - but it was just you making exceptions to a “principle” that you only apply to the left.

      You are amongst the biggest whingers on this site when it comes to complaining of media bias -so expect to read your own words back - and often.

      And, as I have written before- just because TImB says so don’t make it true.

    • TimB says:

      02:49pm | 14/12/11

      Freddy, you remain as ever, a fool. It’s rather silly to attempt to use my own words against me when you fail to understand the reasoning behind them.

      I do not criticise entire outlets and seek to silence them as do the people whining about News Ltd.

      I criticise those *individuals* who hold positions which are described as ‘political reporters’, but who don’t actually report on politics as per their job descriptions. Rather they use the opportunity to bash away at minor issues (frequently Abbott related), whilst the real political stories go unreported.

      I’m not complaining about the fact that they’re biased. I’m complaining about the fact that they simply aren’t doing their job. Any time they want to stop pretending that they’re reporters and admit that they’re nothing more than just another opinion columnist, it’ll be a big step forward.

      Incidently isn’t it ironic that those same ‘Political reporters’ are employed by the very organisation that people like our furry friend ‘Harry’ wishes to see silenced?

    • Against the Man says:

      05:40am | 14/12/11

      Peter Garrett and principles? Hahahahaha

      Gillard can read? Wow pretty amazing for a fake PM smile

      My money is on Rudd for reading and scheming this summer, Gillard better watch out hahahahahahahahaha

    • acotrel says:

      06:19am | 14/12/11

      @ATM
      ‘My money is on Rudd for reading and scheming this summer, Gillard better watch out hahahahahahahahaha ‘

      LNP supporters - like blowflies appraising a sheep’s bottom ?

    • Unionist says:

      07:01am | 14/12/11

      @ATM my money is on Bob, you and marriage

    • Don King says:

      07:36am | 14/12/11

      @ acotrel - Why? Because the truth hurts? Labor has more internal problems than a day time soap opera. Any wonder how any work gets done?

      @ Unionist - If that is your only recurrent response to ATM, than it looks like he has defeated you beyond all doubt. Stop acting childish, be mature and give an intelligent response. The problem with the ALP supporters is they can’t defend their party or their policies, so name calling and throwing Abbott into the blame game is all they can do. Maybe if you could actually tell us how the ALP is doing a good job and this can get reflected in the poll results on a regular basis, you guys would have some credibility. As it stands the Unionist looks more like a 12 year old trying to impress the grown ups with vulgar displays of language and ideas.

    • Othello says:

      08:28am | 14/12/11

      My 15 year old nephew types hahahah alot..must be a kid thing

    • sandra says:

      08:43am | 14/12/11

      great response Don King—echos my thoughts exactly. Nothing on here convinces me I should reconsider Labor—quite the opposite. It confirms why I cant wait to see the crushed at the next election.

    • Holy Rollers says:

      09:14am | 14/12/11

      Unionist you really need to get some new ideas and/or comments, your Bob Brown homophobic replies are unimpressive and a little misplaced. Why link Bob with ATM? Everyone knows Bob is the Master and controller of Julia Gillard. If Bob and ATM get married they will co-own Gillard and you. Are you that desperate for some S&M action?

    • nossy says:

      09:16am | 14/12/11

      @Against the Man   excuse me ATM now you are stealing my laughs hahahahh thats my trademark fella!

    • Karen by the Sea says:

      10:25am | 14/12/11

      Unionist tis tis….didn’t your parents ever teach you to play nice? Looks like you need to read a book about manners. Maybe you can borrow the one Julia has been reading for the last 20 years but let us hope it will serve you better. Don King is absoultely right, your comments just make things worse for the Labor cause. I’m voting for the LNP because Labor have dug themselves a deep hole and no one wants to help them out. Any comments or more childish insults?

    • NicoleG says:

      01:48pm | 14/12/11

      Acotrel - Punctuation For Dummies ! ! !

      Unionist - Why Am I So Homophobic

    • Against the Man says:

      01:59pm | 14/12/11

      Hi Unionist, good to have you back! Where have you been this last week or so? Hope you didn’t miss any of my great links and my massive year end victory over the ALPers, between the poll results and Gillard’s year end results it was no contest really. And the usual ALP suspects were so silent, I guess it is hard to counter the facts huh? But have a Merry Christmas and a Great New Year, cause I know I will and Gillard has already created a disaster for 2012 - Refugee crisis, CT scandal, Rudd on the prowl, carbon tax, cuts to the budget and who knows what she has to screw up next. As nossy said: too sweet smile

    • John says:

      03:04pm | 14/12/11

      @acotrel
      “LNP supporters - like blowflies appraising a sheep’s bottom ?”

      If the LNP supporters are the blowflies does that make the ALP the sheeps arse?

    • Unionist says:

      04:48pm | 14/12/11

      Gee you right wingers have a weird perspective on homophobia… do you actually know what the word means? And if you do please point to where I have stated a hate for same sex couples and or gay peoples. If I were to describe the rules of say a game of rugby does that make me Rugby-phobic? By your reckoning if you talk about a subject you have a phobia about it… interesting, perhaps even of a lower socio-economic mind set. In which case I totally understand you are desperados.

    • Unionist says:

      04:52pm | 14/12/11

      Don King says:08:36am; Well if he actually put a logical argument together maybe he might get an answer. You cant reply drivel all you can do is drivel back

    • Unionist says:

      04:55pm | 14/12/11

      @Karen by the Sea; Yup! when were we talking about politic? get with the program silly billy

    • Against the Grain says:

      06:06pm | 14/12/11

      atm posts a link to a conservative’s opinion in a Ltd. News. site. What ground breaking news.
      Surprised the village idiot can copy and paste a link.

      tell me again atn who is currently in government and who only has NO for an answer?

      Abbott now owns more than a thousand refugees who have arrived since he opted for on-shore processing.  This will not go down well with the swinging voters when they go to the polls in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 .... months.

      Life sucks when you are on the losing side atm and you know it as you have been a loser for 4 long years.

      Hahahahahahahahahahaha

    • Against the Man says:

      06:32pm | 14/12/11

      Rudd ALP dude/ex-PM and a winner?
      Gillard election loser and person who sold out Australia to the Greens, a winner?
      Gillard/ALP - 29% in the polls, a winner?

      ATG/Unionists - You guys need to convince the majority of Australia not me. But I’ve teased out your great frustrations and that is another win smile

      And if you can’t counter the links that means the ALP is in trouble…..keep following the bread crumbs guys….....

    • Tator says:

      08:36pm | 14/12/11

      Against the Grain,
      how can the Coalition opt for onshore processing when Gillard is too gutless to even table the legislation in parliament.  On top of that, the often mentioned refugee policy of the Coalitions is offshore processing in Nauru, which the ALP refuse to consider on party political grounds.  In the end, this pissweak attempt to spin that the Coalition is responsible for the boats arriving is not working as any half intelligent person understands that it was the ALP which removed offshore processing in 2008 when they shut down the Pacific Solution.  In plain speaking, the ALP owns the refugee problem as they are the Government and have made all the policy decisions which have lead to the current issues.

    • Eterio says:

      06:23am | 14/12/11

      Judas, the savior of the Brutus labor party

    • Elizabethan Girl says:

      07:05am | 14/12/11

      Laugh out loud funny, keep up the good work brilliant writing

    • Trevor says:

      07:07am | 14/12/11

      Sophie Mirabella: Eat, Love, Pray

      Nicola Roxon: The Art of War (I can’t believe she is now minister for ASIO, help us!)

    • HardHat says:

      07:20am | 14/12/11

      Julia Gillard… Liar..  author Justine Larbalestier
      Kevin Rudd ... The enemy within…  author Michael Savage
      Tony Abbott.. The destroyer… authors Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir
      all Politicians in Canberra..play school

    • Mahhrat says:

      07:26am | 14/12/11

      John Howard should read War & Peace, followed up by the total works of Bill Shakespeare. Just to keep him quiet.

      Seriously, the man needs to STFU.  So does Keating, unless he’s being funny.

    • Don King says:

      07:29am | 14/12/11

      The whole ALP crew should take a summer uni course on ethics, ethics and more ethics!

    • Mhd Ali says:

      08:50am | 14/12/11

      Ltd. News staff should be made to attend.
      At least they would know what they are missing in their product placement.

    • Tubesteak says:

      07:44am | 14/12/11

      Why on earth would anyone want to be popular at a North Fitzroy caffe latte art competition?

      Nothing would scream “wanker” louder than that.

    • Popp Suckett says:

      12:22pm | 14/12/11

      We’ve found Bolta’s alias!

    • Tubesteak says:

      12:47pm | 14/12/11

      If you think I’m Andrew Bolt I am highly offended. Nothing could be further than the truth

    • Alf says:

      01:03pm | 14/12/11

      @Tubesteak. I bet Bolt would be highly offended too.

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      07:52am | 14/12/11

      I bet Katter and Abbot love Twilight.

    • Alf says:

      08:42am | 14/12/11

      @Nathan. Actually, they are both into magazines.
      Katter reads ‘Sporting Shooter’ and ‘Grey Nomad’.
      Abbott usually reads ‘Mens Fitness’ but has just started on ‘House and Garden’ (The Lodge will need a makeover).

    • Alf says:

      07:56am | 14/12/11

      Rudd - Julius Caesar
      Gillard - How to Win Friends amd Influence People
      Swan - Dummies Guide to Accounting
      Conroy - The F Word (Gordon Ramsay)
      Wong - Lick by Lick (by Michael Web)
      Bob Brown - How to Grow Your Own Vegetables (Peter Cundall)
      Garrett - Noddy and Big Ears

    • Gerard says:

      08:01pm | 14/12/11

      Pretty sure Conroy will be re-reading his policy manual i.e. Nineteen Eighty-Four. Rudd will be reading The Prince. Abbott will be reading Heart Of Darkness. Brown will be reading Alice in Wonderland. Oakeshott will be reading War And Peace and will be disappointed by how short it is.

    • onlooker says:

      08:24am | 14/12/11

      Good work this is way too funny..keep adding I am reading and laughing

    • Freeman says:

      08:40am | 14/12/11

      very clever, Paul howes will be dissapointed that no-one is reading his book “confessions of a faceless man”

    • jimbo says:

      08:55am | 14/12/11

      What’s on the Punch to-day?  Oh no!  Just another bloody re-run of the Erick and Acotrel show.  Just proves, if you get something for nothing it is usually regurgitated crap and has no real value.

    • ZSRenn says:

      09:00am | 14/12/11

      I’m coming home and for the flight I am going to read
      Mao’s “Little Red Book”

    • Robert S McCormick says:

      09:58am | 14/12/11

      Go learn how to:
      Tell the truth
      Stop lying
      Be honest
      Stop being so greedy
      To actually work for the benefit of Australia not yourselves
      To remember that you are our employees & not the other way round.
      There are probably lots of books on all of the above so pull your heads out of your backsides, actually go to a library yourselves & seek them out.

    • SimonFromLakemba says:

      02:48pm | 14/12/11

      Liberals guide to blogging on the Punch: Fred Hollows

    • The Labor Landslide says:

      04:51pm | 14/12/11

      “Liberals Guide To Blogging the Punch ” is the compulsory textbook for all pre school kids going to Big School next year!!

      For most of the year ,Our politicians only read girlie magazines and women’s books ! At Xmas, they read nothing. The kids will not keep quiet enough

 

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How the totally awesome weather in Australia recently is hurting retailers http://t.co/4dvDwDlNZG

Paul Colgan

Hell, your name is Excel and Powerpoint.

Recent posts

The latest and greatest

The Punch is moving house

The Punch is moving house

Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?

I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”

In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…

Nosebleed Section

choice ringside rantings

From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go

Tim says:

They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]

From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go

Kel says:

If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]

Gentle jabs to the ribs

Superman needs saving

Superman needs saving

Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more

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