The day Nestlé gobbled Jenny Craig all up
I like the name ‘Nestlé’.
You can say it softly (nestle) or with that European flamboyance (Nestlé!).
And there’s just something about the logo that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.
That probably stems from that one time when they helped feed all those poor children in poor countries with powdered milk formula.
And now, with a gluttonous $600 million bid, Nestlé will eat up weight-loss organisation Jenny Craig. Num nums. Perfect.
Because I reckon one of the biggest challenges with weight loss is finding the energy to exercise.
And Nestlé products are chock full of energy.
They have Milo and Cheerios which you should give to your children so they can run and jump around all day.
And then there all those chocolate bars.
A spokesperson for Nestlé says chocolate “in moderation can be a fun part of a balanced diet”. You see!
That’s why their Peters Overload Violet Crumble icecream is pretty much a health food.
Nestlé show their social responsibility in other ways, too. Did you know Kit Kats are now sustainable? They are working to save the rainforests and help communities all over the world.
Some people have described the Jenny Craig takeover as just insidious marketing. One woman even described it as being a circular selling technique – sell the stuff that makes them fat then sell them more stuff to make them thin.
But it’s not that at all. Nestlé aren’t like KFC who are in trouble for seducing kids with their greasy $500 voucher giveaway.
They’re more like McDonalds, playing their part in tackling obesity by being part of the solution, not part of the problem. McDonalds now have wraps and salads and all sorts of rabbit food.
As Marge Simpson says, you don’t win friends with salad.
The only salads that are truly edible are either exotic Asian ones or ones made with bacon and mayonnaise and egg and cheese and croutons. As long as they don’t put too much lettuce in.
Now, I used to steer clear of salads until McDonalds introduced them. Then I thought if they’re good enough for mass marketing, they’re good enough for me.
So I lifted my self-imposed McDonalds boycott and re-acquainted myself with the drive through (or “thru”, if that’s how you roll).
Sure, I often get distracted by angry-sounding stacks of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Wagyu smothered with Raunchy Ranch sauce and encased in bread so sweet it should be illegal.
But with healthy eating, it’s the thought that counts. Am I right?
So, all power to the good folk at Nestlé, and I wish them the best of luck in their new skinnification venture.
Aligning themselves with the wholesome and adorable (well, they do have Magda Szubanski) Jenny Craig will help win over those nasty cynics too, and make more people realise that they are deep-down good-hearted people.
I bet they never even thought of that.
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