I like the name ‘Nestlé’.

Give me that salad NOW! Pic: AP.

You can say it softly (nestle) or with that European flamboyance (Nestlé!).

And there’s just something about the logo that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

That probably stems from that one time when they helped feed all those poor children in poor countries with powdered milk formula.

And now, with a gluttonous $600 million bid, Nestlé will eat up weight-loss organisation Jenny Craig. Num nums. Perfect.

Because I reckon one of the biggest challenges with weight loss is finding the energy to exercise.

And Nestlé products are chock full of energy.

They have Milo and Cheerios which you should give to your children so they can run and jump around all day.

And then there all those chocolate bars.

A spokesperson for Nestlé says chocolate “in moderation can be a fun part of a balanced diet”. You see!

That’s why their Peters Overload Violet Crumble icecream is pretty much a health food.

Nestlé show their social responsibility in other ways, too. Did you know Kit Kats are now sustainable? They are working to save the rainforests and help communities all over the world.

Some people have described the Jenny Craig takeover as just insidious marketing. One woman even described it as being a circular selling technique – sell the stuff that makes them fat then sell them more stuff to make them thin.

But it’s not that at all. Nestlé aren’t like KFC who are in trouble for seducing kids with their greasy $500 voucher giveaway.

They’re more like McDonalds, playing their part in tackling obesity by being part of the solution, not part of the problem. McDonalds now have wraps and salads and all sorts of rabbit food.

As Marge Simpson says, you don’t win friends with salad.

The only salads that are truly edible are either exotic Asian ones or ones made with bacon and mayonnaise and egg and cheese and croutons. As long as they don’t put too much lettuce in.

Now, I used to steer clear of salads until McDonalds introduced them. Then I thought if they’re good enough for mass marketing, they’re good enough for me.

So I lifted my self-imposed McDonalds boycott and re-acquainted myself with the drive through (or “thru”, if that’s how you roll).

Sure, I often get distracted by angry-sounding stacks of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Wagyu smothered with Raunchy Ranch sauce and encased in bread so sweet it should be illegal.

But with healthy eating, it’s the thought that counts. Am I right?

So, all power to the good folk at Nestlé, and I wish them the best of luck in their new skinnification venture.

Aligning themselves with the wholesome and adorable (well, they do have Magda Szubanski) Jenny Craig will help win over those nasty cynics too, and make more people realise that they are deep-down good-hearted people.

I bet they never even thought of that.

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35 comments

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    • TChong says:

      05:46am | 16/12/10

      Those young tackers in the pic could probaly do with a bit of Jenny , so next time they go on a Sunday drive, there will be truth in the Confucian saying of :  ” Not so squeezy”.

    • nosthow says:

      08:15am | 16/12/10

      @Chongy - thought you were on hols Chongy ? Nice to see you back anyway !

    • TChong says:

      10:45am | 16/12/10

      nosthow - i lined up hols to coincide with the most The Ashes - sigh, tears , and it will by along time till bedtime before the series concludes.

    • Joan says:

      06:37am | 16/12/10

      And how about all those cooking shows led by overweight chefs and the likes of overweight Oprah Queen of couchpotatoes.. plenty .fat assed. people sitting around watching these useless shows when they could be be out and about excersing.

    • Leigh says:

      07:12am | 16/12/10

      pretty low grade article. The Nestle company is very large is has brought numerous companies in the past; and Jenny Craig is just another.

      At the end of the day; a person is fat because of what they eat! not what company’s sell.

      Sounds like the author of this article is abit overweight and looking for someone to blame.

    • DontHateMaccas says:

      09:42am | 16/12/10

      “a person is fat because of what they eat! not what company’s sell” - so I’m assuming you don’t purchase any mass produced goods and hunt for your food each and every day. Good for you.

    • AussieJazzman says:

      10:51am | 16/12/10

      You believe this is a low grade article, eh?

      Well, let’s just grade and correct your response, then!  The corrections are in square brackets, the grade is at the end.

      [This is a] pretty low grade article.  The Nestle company is very large [and] has [bought] numerous companies in the past[,] and Jenny Craig is just another.

      At the end of the day[,] a person is fat because of what they eat[,] not [because of] what [companies] sell.

      [This] sounds like the author of this article is [a bit] overweight and looking for someone to blame.


      This response had poor grammar, atrocious spelling, idiotic punctuation and demonstrated the commentors inability to grasp satire.  The low grade for this comment is D minus.

      In all seriousness, lay off the author.

    • Tory Shepherd

      Tory Shepherd says:

      11:44am | 16/12/10

      Hey - I’m just big boned!

    • Jason says:

      02:54pm | 16/12/10

      You just do what you’re told in life yeah?  Some companies sell fruit, veg and unprocessed meats you know.

    • Fatphil. says:

      07:15am | 16/12/10

      MMMMMMM! extra Magda Szubanksi! She is great isn’t, isn’t she?. I used to make that infant milk formula that fed all those poor kids. Very difficult as the incredible amounts of salt and sugar in the milk made it liable to burning in the evaporator and dryer. The bleaching agent to prevent discolouration from the added iron was tasty too. The formula had excessive amounts of iron (enough to cause the typical black faeces) so the infants could absorb enough. Iron and other goodies in breast milk are usually bound with carrier proteins for easy absorption. The mothers should have used it for their own nutrition and breast fed. Infant motality via infections from unhygenically prepared formula would have been eliminated. The advertising campaigns were designed to make the mothers feel that formula was superior.

    • Adam Diver says:

      07:15am | 16/12/10

      What exactly was the point, some articles just don’t seem to go nowhere.

      Perhaps nestle bought Jenny Craig because its a business and it wants to make money. I doubt it was to improve thier image, above all I don’t see how that would even work.

    • MrsT says:

      11:42am | 16/12/10

      Some companies have what is called a strategic business plan and to compliment that they have a strategic marketing plan.
      Nothing is ever done by chance or on a whim.
      But then again who knows?

    • James says:

      07:21am | 16/12/10

      It’s so easy to blame companies like nestle and mcdonalds isnt it. What you will find though is most seriously overweight people rarely set foot in a mcdonalds store. The real evils are the crisps and the soft drinks and the “special deals” in supermarkets where they offer 2 large packets of chips for $4 or 3 bottles of coke for $5. In the end though I dont think these companies can be blamed. As an obese person myself, it is my issue and I use food as a emans to cope with how sad my life is. Like a person smokes a cigarette to relief the stress, or a person uses alcohol or drugs to cope with their lives, I use food to cope with my emotional problems too. I know im obese, I know I have a problem, and I know its upto me to solve it, but emotionally I dont see a point. People have never liked me, ive always been made fun of when I was skinny and now that I’m fat it’s still the same. Losing weight wont change that. I would be more than happy for someone to just put a gun to my head and pull the trigger, in the end im killing myself slowly anyway.

    • Prince says:

      12:55pm | 16/12/10

      Dude have a break from the self loathing… have a Kit Kat !

    • Dogbolter says:

      08:05am | 17/12/10

      I hear you James. Worst part is people like Joan above calling with their non-concealed repugnance. I’ve been fat all my life from the way I was bought up and issue such as sex abuse. At least by eating I’m only hurting myself, not getting drunk, going out driving and wiping a family out, or going on a crack bender and being violent in the streets. Hope you’re happy Joan, in your lovely perfect, “slim and pretty” life. I know I’m not.

      But the article - pure satire. Loved it.

    • M says:

      07:57pm | 19/12/10

      James people may not like you as you might drive them away now, with your self loathing and maybe when you were skinny you had issues that turned people against you, like maybe personality traits or maybe you didn’t like yourself as a person and therefore hid those things about yourself that you did not like.

      One thing I like about you is the way you write, so poignant. I don’t think people like me much either. I am fat too, but so what? If they don’t like me it is mainly to do with a personality issue, that I have. I do have people who love me too, for the other aspects of myself, like my integrity, for one. My mind for another. My heart at times.

      One of the things people don’t like about is my temper. When I erupt, the person beteer make sure they’re not standing at the top of a flight of steps, though. I won’t push anyone down but was very tempted to at one stage. I was able to step back from that moment of anger and prevent that crumpled body lying at the bottom. As a girl, I have always been that volatile, too and as a woman that volality is still there, except worse. Those that do like me for my heart know this, volatility, but I can also be on the other end of kind too.

    • Macca says:

      07:22am | 16/12/10

      Eat what you want, just remember to exercise after.

      Oh, but if you’re daily lunch consists of Chicko Rolls and Fish Cakes, you’re going to die young.

    • HappyCynic says:

      07:38am | 16/12/10

      I think it’s a brilliant tactic by Nestlé.  First they make people fat with their chocolates and stuff, then they make people pay them to make them skinny again so that they can get fat on their chocolates and stuff again and so the cycle continues smile

      Nestlé are going to make a fortune off of dieters and fatties alike, win-win.  Of course everybody else loses but who cares about them.

    • D says:

      08:05am | 16/12/10

      Nestles have had a diet range of yogurts, dairy desserts etc out for quite a while that slot into the Weight Watchers program - they are labelled with the number of points the item is worth under the WW system. 

      Why is that okay but owning Jenny Craig a travesty?

      Nestles has a fairly diverse range of food products.  If you think they only sell chocolate, you need to do some more research.

    • Sahara says:

      09:04am | 16/12/10

      Research? From a journalist? Ah D. I also look back at the good ol days with affection.

      With no research at all I know that Nestlé  is one of, if not the biggest, manufacturer of weight loss food in the world which really makes this a non-story that not even close to amusing.

      A total waste of electrons if you ask me.

    • D says:

      09:37am | 16/12/10

      *shrug*  a walk around the supermarket, or even paying attention when you shop should be within the capabilities of an average person.  That alone would have indicated Nestles product range was greater than Milo, sugery cereals and chocolate bars.  Unless you don’t look in the dairy section of the supermarket ever.

      Google is a marvellous site, also dead easy to use.  It shouldn’t be an unrealistic expectation for opinion piece writers to have half a clue or spend even 30 mins on research before they fire off their articles. 

      I guess I shouldn’t make the mistake of confusing journalists with op writers on a website.  It’s evident in the quality of the above article that there is no professionalism in this piece.

    • Elphaba says:

      08:10am | 16/12/10

      I laughed and laughed when I heard this.

      Nom nom nom….

    • TIm says:

      08:50am | 16/12/10

      Tory - have you done any research beyond your cubicle rubbish bin to better understand what Nestle produces? Considering they are the largest food business in the world, I think you’ll find it’s a little more than just Kit Kats and Milo, but hey, it probably doesn’t make great copy…

    • Jay says:

      03:29pm | 16/12/10

      haha yes, also two minute noodles, condensed milk, sweet bars, powdered pasta ‘meals’ et al. 90% of Nestle’s fingers are in ultra processed junk describing itself as food.

    • AdamC says:

      09:30am | 16/12/10

      Don’t both Nestle and Jenny Craig produce pre-packaged, processed foods? That’s the obvious synergy.

    • cRook says:

      11:02am | 16/12/10

      Lighten up. This isn’t an article, it’s a blog. She’s just making an observation about something most people are thinking. I had a giggle, now I’ll move on with my day in a slightly more cheery manner.

    • Rabbit says:

      11:16am | 16/12/10

      It’s only Jenny Craig USA that is owned by Nestle. Jenny Craig Australia is independently owned… making this article on an australian website basically irrelevant.
      Would have been nice for The Punch to do some additional research before slagging off the entire Jenny Craig brand.

    • Tory Shepherd

      Tory Shepherd says:

      11:43am | 16/12/10

      Rabbit - they just bought the Australia and New Zealand franchise wink

    • Adrian says:

      12:01pm | 16/12/10

      Someone didn’t click on the links in the article before making their aggressive comment…

    • Chris says:

      11:31am | 16/12/10

      The team at Nestle already know how to trim fat. During the GFC they robbed me of 5g from my beloved Mint Patties. I’ve been eating them as a fond treat occasionally since a little tacker so I certainly noticed the buggers sliced the size. Yet they kept the price the same hmmmm! So hey, I’m guessing Jenny Craig will benefit from the corporate hackers. But will the consumers (excuse the pun) get the benefit?

    • billyboysydney says:

      12:43pm | 16/12/10

      Yeah, Nestle are awesome! Really really great!

      Violating international codes in the promotion of milk powder in Africa, turning a blind eye to child labour in sourcing ingredients in third world countries, ongoing boycotts over labour rights violations in the Philippines,

      ...and Kit Kats are now sustainable because Greenpeace and other organisations mounted a massive campaign against Nestle that forced them to change due to suffering massively negative PR.

      Why didn’t you mention any of this?

    • xavier says:

      12:49pm | 16/12/10

      Don’t forget Nestle’s successful application to use the Fair Trade logo on some products to even out the not-so-fair trading they do for all their other products and forcing women in the third world to be their guinea pigs for baby formula.

    • wally the worker says:

      01:47pm | 16/12/10

      I remember those tug-of-wars at school, they were great. Trouble was, in 1947, we were mostly skinny, parents watching coupons, skinnier than us, kids pinching fruit off trees, cashing in coke bottles for a few pennies, selling copper, brass, anything, for a few bob, handed over to Mum. Yes I know Tory you’re a young lass, and there’s a bigger picture here. People are different. Sometimes they don’t seem to care so much about others, like we used to. You know, if your neighbour was in need , you helped them. No question. I can’t speak for the ladies, but I can say they cared most of all, for that kid who needed help if he/she was overweight and wasn’t getting on with other kids. That’s the way it was. I must say I’m ashamed to be an Australian sometimes , by some of the comments here. I hope no-one expects me to be other than the person I am. Thankyou.

    • leah says:

      07:39pm | 18/12/10

      I blame you for my impending obesity. violet crumble overload! wow.

    • Sanaz says:

      01:07pm | 18/10/12

      I just bought mfdieast and though it was tough to start during the holidays I’m proud to say that even with the holidays I lost a few pounds, this month I’m starting Medifast 100% on Plan and am looking forward to it. I have had friends on nutrisystem who have gained all the weight back but the ones on mfdieast have maintained because they teach you to cook for yourself and pick food outside rather than solely rely on meals.I did South Beach diet first and lost 35 lbs, but I got so tired of counting and tracking I decided to switch to mfdieast to lose the last 65 lbs I want to get rid of. Hopefully I’ll lose it much faster with Medifast   Was this answer helpful?

 

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