The break-up industry is totally out of hand
So the love of your life has just broken your heart into a million tiny pieces. Never fear. Help is just a click away.
You too can mend the hole in your soul for as little as $9.95 (plus postage and handling). Self-help books might seem, like, so 2007, but rest assured, there’s still heaps available online.
Of course, if your break-up affected other people as well, there’s the ever popular, I Heart My In-Laws: Falling in Love with His Family One Passive-Aggressive, Over-Indulgent, Grandkid-Craving, Streisand-Loving, Bible-Thumping In-Law at a Time
That’s surely the pre-cursor to Help! I Think I’m in Love with my Girlfriend’s Father. Actually that could be a Jerry Springer episode.
For every tissue and chocolate-bar wrapper strewn across your living-room floor, there’s a break-up bible that could be on its way to your mailbox today.
But if sweet, sweet revenge is more your cup of arsenic, here’s a site that will not only give you closure from a rocky relationship, it might also fund your next holiday.
The new website sellmyex.com let’s you auction off your ex’s things once the relationship has bitten the dust. Rejoice! No longer do you have look at his Star Wars Box-Set on your bookshelf or cringe at the gaudy Tiffany’s bracelet he gave you for your anniversary.
One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure. In other words, one woman’s emotional baggage could fund her next designer handbag. Sounds like a pretty good exchange to me!
So there you have it. Whatever your unique break-up problem, there’s a generic, mass produced solution ready to fix it.
I’m actually thinking of writing my own series of break-up books. Can’t reveal too much but they’re targeted at an untapped market.
Keep an eye out for, Help! I’m Out of Predictable Clichés and Getting Back Your Star-Wars Box-Set After You Broke Her Heart.
Don’t they just scream Amazon best sellers?
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