The best and worst fashion of the decade
Yes, there have been some corkers in the fashion world this past ten years – thigh high rubber boots usually worn to wade in alligator-infested swamps anyone? – but there have also been some winners. Pieces that women have been thankful to add on high rotation in their wardrobe. Here’s a round up of the best and worst trends of the decade.
The 80’s revival
Those who are old enough to have gone through it once are also old enough to remember how horrifically unfashionable the 80’s were. All you have to do is look at Sarah-Jessica Parker then, and Sarah-Jessica Parker now to know that the 80’s should not be revisted.
Yet here we are, in shoulder pad HELL. Not to mention acid wash jeans, the midriff top, taffeta prom dresses, fluro accessories, jelly shoes, balloon skirts, fingerless gloves, and the piece de resistance – the scrunchie - is attempting a comeback.
Two shirts for $10, three bags for $50, four skirts for $100. This decade, women have never had more crap quality clothing to spend their money on – and it’s not good for our wardrobe or our environment. A drag on the world’s resources which is also filling up our dumpsters, disposable clothing is costing us millions globally every year. The solution is to buy quality items, less often. Just because you’re heading out on Friday night does not mean you need another new top. Really.
High waisted jeans
Honestly, whose five-second idea was this? High-waisted jeans only looked good on 6” tall supermodels, which is about 0.0001% of the population. To the rest of us: time to trash ‘em.
What genie-loving, mung-bean eating, MC Hammer-listening fashion designer coined this trend? I don’t know, but I’d like to blame them for all of the droopy assed women on the street.
When these first hit the stores we loved them – finally, an alternative to the Levis 501. But the more we wore them, the more we realized something: they had created a fat pocket that hadn’t existed previously. That’s right, I’m talking about The Muffin Top. Any item of clothing that increased fatty deposits on women was instantly going to be scorned and yes, tossed to the bottom of the pile.
Juicy Couture tracksuits
If you didn’t have a Juicy tracksuit (or a cheaper copy of), you simply weren’t cool. Because EVERYONE owned one of these matching velour babies, some of whom were lucky to have the genuine article with JUICY emblazoned across their butt. Jessica Simpson bought personalized pairs for all her bridesmaids. Such a lovely time in fashion.
One piece swimsuits with huge cut outs on the sides and t-bar fronts
Two words: tan lines.
Ridiculous heels shaped like table legs
There are good heels, that are elegant and do the job of shaping the body, giving you height and making you feel like sex on legs … and there are gimmicky heels, on platforms with stilts shaped like an old candlestick that you, along with loads of models on the catwalk, now hate after spraining their ankle while wearing them.
Finally! Women could wear flat shoes! Which didn’t cramp our toes! Or make our soles ache! Or put our backs out! And we could still look fashionable! Thank you, Kate Moss, for making these okay.
Umm, stockings that suck us in, stop our thighs from jiggling, make us look thinner, tighter, taller and keep us warm in winter. Are they a saviour for women? Hell yes.
Who doesn’t want a pant that costs less than your weekly food shop and can be worn under dresses, tops, coats and still look as chic as $300 jeans?
High waisted dresses
After years of belting at the hip we at last rediscovered our waist and ultimately, that feminine hourglass shape which really does suit every woman.
It’s every girl’s dream really. Who doesn’t want to wear a million tiny shiny circles sewn onto their top and sparkle like they deserve to, hmm? Sequins came into our lives in a big way this decade, much to the chagrin of men who didn’t quite know how to tackle the trend – are they supposed to wear a tux if you’re wearing sequins? No boys. It’s just us that gets to dress up like this.
Skinny scarves worn in summer
I love a trend that ticks off a number of things: colour on a boring outfit? Yes. Get to wear the same clothes but make it look different? Yes. Cover a sagging jowl, spotty chest or too much cleavage? Yes yes yes!
This decade, we learnt that just because we couldn’t afford oversized baubles to adorn our wrists, neck and fingers, didn’t mean we couldn’t wear fabulous costume jewelery that looked just like the real thing – almost better because we
could afford one in every colour.
Traditionally a part of a suit, the blazer is now a classic uniform. Worn on it’s own with jeans, skirts an evening dress, it’s every woman’s staple.
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