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The ballad of Giglio Isle

Anthony Sharwood

by Anthony Sharwood

16 Jan 12:35pm

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Filed under: Accidents, Costa Concordia, Gilligans Island, Satire, Ships

32 comments

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from an Italian port
Aboard this massive ship.

Not the kind of list anyone wants to be on. Pic: AFP.

The crew was a bunch of useless hacks
The skipper craven and poor
3,206 passengers set sail that day
For a five day tour, a five day tour.

The weather wasn’t even rough,
The massive ship was lost,
Because of the navigation of the hapless crew
The Concordia struck some rocks, the Concordia struck some rocks.

The ship set ground on the shore of a secluded Tuscan isle
called Giglio
The skipper shot through,
The millionaire owner’s… in some strife
The movie stars
will soon be filming
The wreck on Giglio Isle.

With apologies to Sherwood Schwarz and pretty much everyone actually

 

Most commented

430Australia, you have nothing to fear but fear itself
390There's no one Thomson won't burn to save his skin
335Animal experiments won't cure me from cancer
313Thomson didn't answer the question everyone is asking
265Who murdered the Arts degree?
246A big day for Thomson, who thus far is guilty of nothing...
231South Australia. It's the middle bottom bit.
231Craig Thomson speaks. Meanwhile, in Australia...

32 comments

Show oldest | newest first

    • St. Michael says:

      11:52am | 16/01/12

      Hmmmm.  Group of well-heeled foreigners pay money to a dodgy boat operator that subsequently sets to sea, only to wind up shipwrecked and thus causing mass death and outrage.

      Where have I heard this before?

      Reply

    • Jane2 says:

      01:23pm | 16/01/12

      Not just foriegners, there were 23 Aussies.

      And btw, it costs less than $100 per night to cruise. That covers your accomodation, your meals and your entertainment. It’s one fo the cheapest way to holiday there is.

    • acotrel says:

      02:10am | 17/01/12

      A short few years ago I went on a cruise ship fr om Pireaus to Ephesus in Turkey.  The ship was full of American godbotherers following in the footsteps of St Paul.  They must have fully represented a cross section of the US religous right , and probably were the political opponents of anything representing ‘communism’.  Yet here they were on a Russian cruise ship, taking full advantage of the low wages of the crew, getting the cheap fares. It seems to me that there is something not quite right in that !

    • elhombre says:

      03:32pm | 20/01/12

      The only thing “not quite right with that” acotrel is your grasp of history. Russia has not been communist since 1991! Do try to keep up.

    • nossy says:

      11:52am | 16/01/12

      Bloody brilliant lyrics Ant! About time we got a “sea shanty” type blog. Yes what was the Skipper of the Concordia doing - or should we say not doing? Whilst the inquiry will no doubt delve deeply into many matters the bottom line is that the Captain is the man ultimately responsible. Remembering back to that fateful cruise on the Titanic in 1912 the good Captain Edward Smith chose not to hang around for some pesky inquiry and grimly clung to the wheel as his baby slid beneath the waves - brave soul indeed.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYlc30NtRy8&feature=related

      Reply

    • Troy Flynn says:

      12:03pm | 16/01/12

      How ironic would it be if the in-cruise movie playing at the time was 2012.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      04:40pm | 16/01/12

      ‘Don’t go down with the Ship’ would have been funnier.

    • SydneyGirl says:

      12:06pm | 16/01/12

      “The movie stars
      will soon be filming
      The wreck on Giglio Isle.”

      Gold!

      Reply

    • RyaN says:

      12:17pm | 16/01/12

      And not one mention at how happy the women were to be shipwrecked on Gigilo isle. See what I did there aaayyyyyyy!

      Reply

    • Fezzbo says:

      12:46pm | 16/01/12

      Nice. Did the boat head pass the Isle of Lezbos before it hit Gigilo?

    • RyaN says:

      02:52pm | 16/01/12

      @Fezzbo: Perhaps, that must be where the 15 missing ones are wink

    • ByStealth says:

      12:19pm | 16/01/12

      All Aboard the Failboat!

      Reply

    • Nathan Explosion says:

      12:20pm | 16/01/12

      Wow. That’s tasteless.

      Reply

    • fairsfair says:

      12:54pm | 16/01/12

      Yeah, I am not really sure how to respond to this. On one hand I am all “its a good thing to look at the lighter side of things” on the other hand I people died and there are still people missing.

      I didn’t hear a mock up of Led Zeppelin’s “when the levee breaks” after Katrina.

      Rather than “crap”, “bad”, “not funny” - I think tasteless is bang on.

    • AFR says:

      01:19pm | 16/01/12

      Yeah, agree. I love a good joke as well, but this is simply too soon.

    • Vivian says:

      12:21pm | 16/01/12

      I see.

      People die and Ant makes a funny song. Classy. Dare we look up the staff writers thoughts on Christmas Island a year ago?

      Reply

    • Rose says:

      05:52pm | 16/01/12

      Ant has proven himself to be without class and incredibly tasteless. I lost a huge amount of respect for him today.

    • sir ronald bradnam says:

      12:24pm | 16/01/12

      Im pleasantly surprised Ant finally after all this time of reading the punch you write something funny, I didnt know you had it in you.

      Reply

    • jay-ded says:

      01:09pm | 16/01/12

      I didn’t find it in the least amusing.  Rather sad really.  :(

    • Erick says:

      01:05pm | 16/01/12

      When is it no longer too soon?

      After written language - 12 years.

      After the printing press - 12 months.

      After radio - 12 weeks.

      After television - 12 days.

      After Internet - 12 hours.

      Reply

    • bella starkey says:

      02:08pm | 16/01/12

      Tragedy + Time = book deal

    • ba'al says:

      08:34am | 17/01/12

      I think writing a joke about an incident while they are still looking for bodies is tasteless in the extreme.
      Ant has displayed a lack of empathy.

    • Semi Concerned Citizen says:

      01:14pm | 16/01/12

      Nice one Ant, one of your funnier efforts.
      Somewhere someone died as i wrote this but life is too short to be sad and blue.

      Reply

    • Stiffy says:

      06:02pm | 16/01/12

      Went on an MSC cruise - No evacuation drill until 3 days into the cruise. MSC allow you to board at any port on a lot of their cruises. Worst part about a muster drill is when they say “and then just step off’.
      This Captain may soon wish he went down (over?) with the ship. Maybe someone was whistling on the bridge.

      Reply

    • youdy beaudy says:

      06:27am | 17/01/12

      Most big vessels are brought into port by the government pilot whose job it is to move the ship safely to the mooring bypassing any obstacles. Now this is what should have happened in most situations.

      Where was the Pilot? When the Pilot comes on board then the ship is handed over to him or her. The Pilot is then responsible for the safe passage of the ship and in this case a rather large one.

      I don’t know why they are chasing the Captain for, they should be after the blood of the Pilot. Obviously there was no Pilot there to do the job. Pretty bad management from the port authorities i would think. They should focus their investigation there.

      Reply

    • Micky G says:

      09:15am | 17/01/12

      Youdy, even with a pilot on board the Captain is still responsible. Berthing a ship is a time of big stress for the Captain. He hands over the operation to the Pilot who is supposed to have the local knowledge, but if the Pilot makes a mistake it is still the Captains responsibility. But how does the Captain know if the pilot makes a mistake until something goes wrong?...No wonder Ships Captains never sleep. At least the good ones.

    • Zoyd says:

      02:38pm | 17/01/12

      News Ltd. Masters of sewer journalism. It’s in their genes.

      Reply

    • John says:

      03:03pm | 17/01/12

      That’s so geneist. Stop the gene hate, all genes are created equal.

    • youdy beaudy says:

      03:37pm | 17/01/12

      Hey, Mickey G. Thanks for your comment. Yes i agree, but i don’t claim to be a maritime expert but i thought that was the way it was done. Hey, have a good one.!

      Reply

    • Andrew says:

      08:58pm | 17/01/12

      I expect a attempt at a funny song, a couple of days after the next asylum seeker boat sinks, Ant. After all people dying when a boat sinks is always hilarious.

      Reply

    • Jeremy says:

      12:50pm | 18/01/12

      The song doesn’t mention people dying?

      This is a song about ineptitude, not death. Though I did have to watch the clip to remember how the darn tune went.

 
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