That’s not hot! I’ll tell you what hot is…
[Ed’s note, at the time of publication the temperature in Sydney was 38 degrees and rising.]
One day with the mercury set to rise above 40 and Sydney is awash with panic the moaning can be heard all the way here in the Outback. Facebook and Twitter is jammed with people’s personal accounts of their preparations to beat the heat almost like Heat Survival plan for one day.
Out here in Broken Hill a day over 40 is the norm this summer we’re in the middle of a 10 day stretch with temperatures over 40. I’m Sydney born and bred and now live in Broken Hill. I just happen to have landed in Broken Hill in the middle of one of their hottest summers ever so I reckon I can speak with some authority about heat.
Let me tell you Sydney about real heat. Real heat is when you wake up at 2am drenched in sweat and you check the temperature and it’s a balmy 35 degrees.
Being told that only way to get your house cool is to have your air con running 24/7 the whole of summer is real heat. Real heat is when It’s 44 degrees and there is a power failure in the town because the energy system just can’t cope and you’re forced to spend your night lying on the bathroom tiles praying for the power to come back on squirting yourself with water that is now hot from your spray bottle.
You know you’re in a real heat situation when you can’t get to your pool to cool off coz your thongs have melted just walking on the concrete and if you went barefoot you’d lose the soles of your feet.
You know you’re experiencing real heat when people and animals start to look and behave strangely and you actually don’t think it’s that strange. Like pulling up to a set of lights and the person in the car beside you is wearing only a bikini and has a coke bottle above their head and is tipping water over themselves.
Underwear becomes optional. The neighbour’s chooks have their wings constantly raised to let the air circulate.
You walk past the vicious neighbourhood dog who normally makes it his duty to run to the gate and bark his head off every time you go by and now all you get is a slight head lift as he sprawls out in the shade of the veranda.
Real heat is when cooking appliances are now obsolete. When camping instead of a stove all you need is a slippery dip to cook your can of spaghetti.
Cooking eggs? No pan needed simply crack and cook on the road. I’ve honestly seen both of these things taking place.
So I reckon I’m well within my rights to say harden up Sydney it’s just one day tomorrow you’ll be complaining about what a terrible summer you’re having coz it’s raining and only 24 degrees.
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RT @rhysam: Please read the SMH tomorrow. I get to say something both loving and true. (Ultimately, loving and true are the same thing)
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