The kids still look miserable when a cold wind blows. The car still fills with sand on the way home. And a hot shower still fixes everything by 10am.
I’ve been watching the kids do VACSWIM at Port Vincent all this week – on the same beach where I splashed my way through the iconic summer swimming program 30-odd years ago.
A few things have remained the same since the ’70s – but a whole lot’s different too.
Coffee, for one thing.
My parents would no more have strayed from their gigantic can of International Roast to pay $4 for a cardboard cappuccino than fly to Melbourne for a shopping weekend.
These days there are more takeaway lattes on the beach than littlies. (Though blissfully, Port Vincent does not boast “baristas” – that wanky word used by “coffee makers” to legitimise charging like wounded bulls.)
“Mr” and “Mrs” have had their day in the sun, too.
Remember when calling an adult by their first name earned you a clip behind the ear? It was auntie or uncle or Mr and Mrs What’s-their-name.
My generation changed all that, no doubt to avoid thinking of ourselves as old farts like our own parents. (Hasn’t worked: one kid asked if I was Jack and Harry’s Nanna this week, earning himself a Julie Bishop death stare that shut him up quite nicely.)
I don’t know if it really matters that kids are on first-name terms with adults (even in some schools, which still seems wrong to me), but I do think most parents would agree the lines are more blurred – and respect more scarce – than when we were little.
I yearn for the lollies of yesteryear, too.
Inflation has killed off the 20-cent bag of mixed lollies, that gloriously rich array of decadence savoured right down to the last, unloved licorice ball.
The Big Boss Cigar – the epitome of beach hip in the ’70s – has been stubbed out, too.
And I still can’t believe Fags have been sanitised as lame-o Fads, lest the kids get so addicted to white cylindrical confectionary that they reach for Mummy’s B&H. (Funny that kids still pretend to smoke them, even without the alluring pre-lit red tip.)
Back in my day, a rashie was what you got when you rode your bike before your bathers dried off.
The more flesh the better, preferably lathered in a cheap brand of coconut oil for faster frying.
Today we swaddle our kids from head to toe in hats, sun shirts and 30+ sunscreen.
It’s a sensible, simple safety precaution, particularly when you consider that around 115 South Aussies still die from melanoma skin cancer every year.
But despite all the warnings, isn’t it funny how most of us parents don’t don rashies ourselves?
I can’t get my head around the growing fashion consciousness of teenage boys, either.
Even at the beach, many look like they’ve spent more time in front of the mirror than their sisters – and there’s not a pair of skanky old footy shorts in sight, just loud boardies in the latest colours positioned above boldly branded designer undies.
Not that there’s anything wrong with all that – especially in the eyes of hair product and jocks manufacturers, I’m sure.
It’s just different, that’s all.
But then it is 30-odd years, and not all changes are for the bad.
These days, if I want to pretend smoke a packet of Fads, I don’t need to plead with my mum Mrs Barnes. I’m not the one braving the water when it’s windy. And my takeaway coffee sure tastes nice with those cinnamon donuts that just weren’t around in the ’70s.
Comments on this post closes at 8pm AEDT.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
@TheStalwart an analyst in Sydney said it was a "sad day" http://t.co/vh4Yu4OgDD. I think he was just exhausted and gave up analyzing
RT @NASA: Amazing views from the International Space Station of Pavlof Volcano erupting in Alaska. http://t.co/vqBkkiOful
US Google Doodle features a girl's touching depiction of her father's return from Iraq http://t.co/4LiRFOntTY
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
The Punch is moving house
Good morning Punchers. After four years of excellent fun and great conversation, this is the final post…
Will Pope Francis have the vision to tackle this?
I have had some close calls, one that involved what looked to me like an AK47 pointed my way, followed…
Advocating risk management is not “victim blaming”
In a world in which there are still people who subscribe to the vile notion that certain victims of sexual…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Hasbro, go straight to gaol, do not pass go
Tim says:
They should update other things in the game too. Instead of a get out of jail free card, they should have a Dodgy Lawyer card that not only gets you out of jail straight away but also gives you a fat payout in compensation for daring to arrest you in the first place. Instead of getting a hotel when you… [read more]From: A guide to summer festivals especially if you wouldn’t go
Kel says:
If you want a festival for older people or for families alike, get amongst the respectable punters at Bluesfest. A truly amazing festival experience to be had of ALL AGES. And all the young "festivalgoers" usually write themselves off on the first night, only to never hear from them again the rest of… [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
Superman needs saving
Can somebody please save Superman? He seems to be going through a bit of a crisis. Eighteen months ago,… Read more
Most commented