Suburban tales: You left your whip and chicken in the cab
Welcome to another trip around the lawn chairs and broken trampolines of our wide brown suburbs.
There’s nothing like an urban planning story to get the heart of every local journo pumping. All those genteel ‘save our suburbs’ types in leafy inner suburbs butting heads against shadowy property developer types torn straight out of an episode of
Secret Valley. It all makes for good copy.
Take the story from Brisbane’s Springfield News this week that the local Hare Krishna community may be denied permission to build a temple.
You may be asking what this strictly vegetarian and excruciatingly non-violent group did to irritate anyone - apart from its normal jangle-based activities in inner-city shopping strips.
Well, a local group is making a lot of fuss about the proposed development, saying it’ll wreck the environment.
The development is set to encroach on some innocent parkland, and several thousand miscellaneous insects could be threatened. All the hallmarks of a pointless 3D blockbuster, really.
And so the Brisbane community now has the real prospect of having to lump the Krishna crew with Japanese whalers, Crown-of-thorns starfish and Hummers in the environmental sin bin.
Maybe karma is even more of a bitch than everyone thought.
Meanwhile, in the seismically troubling world in which we live, it’s nice to see local government on the front foot in keeping their buildings safe from tremors. It is thus with a great deal of relief the Central Sydney Magazine can report that Sydney’s council has decided to earthquake-proof the Paddington Town Hall.
This earthquake insulation is part of a $2 million refurb of the joint, and comes hot on the heels of a similar decision late last year to spend $750,000 to protect the Sydney Town Hall from unwarranted movement from the Earth’s crust.
It’s a comforting thought that these majestic Victorian-era buildings are being preserved. Even if the post-quake bulldozers do need to be brought in to recalibrate some of inner-Sydney’s more trendy locales, ratepayers can be safe in the knowledge there’ll be a choice of two building left standing they can submit their planning permits too.
It’s a stunningly bold piece of foresight - particularly as there has not been a reported case of earthquakey activity in the area since records started 170 years ago. It’s always the thing you didn’t think of that gets you though, isn’t it?
Over in nearby Mosman, the ground is stable, but the men are flighty. The women of the Mosman region put this down to the local menfolk being “precious trust-fund babies”.
It’s an unfortunate time for the good lasses of the area. The Mosman Daily reports there’s a man-drought going on (the ratio is 11 to 9). The blokes who are in the game are apparently looking for the perfect Stepford wife, leaving hoards of women in the region to coffee together, snarl at the insensitive bastards and wonder why none of them will come over for a chat.
Maybe the women of Mosman could take a leaf out of Myra Lillian Harris’s book. Myra just turned 100 and to celebrate, got engaged. The Port Phillip Leader reports her now fiance, who is 35 years her junior, finally popped the question after 45 years.
Lastly, and in news sparklingly unrelated to anything else we’ve explored this week, two quick tales of motoring glory:
If you’ve ever felt the sinking sensation of walking out of a taxi sans wallet or phone, spare a thought of the Travis Bickles of the world, who have to clean out their cab and find the crap you were too tired and/or emotional to keep in your pockets.
A recent inventory of taxis and buses in Melbourne’s Dandenong area has uncovered lost items such as frozen chicken, underpants, a prosthetic limb and a whip.
The whip’s owner - a lady of the night - was apparently quite keen to retrieve the implement.
Meanwhile, in Paramatta, a woman mistook first and reverse, and thus found herself and her auto fairly firmly ensconced in the wall of a local school.
The Parramatta Advertiser tells us children weren’t there at the time, which was best for all, really. Did our intrepid news team get photos? Oh my, yes.
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