Suburban Tales: The romance of housework

My wardrobe is now on the market for $15,000. Or $14k for cash.

Staying in Sydney, a Gordon couple are looking for the owner of a women’s wedding ring found 18 years ago in the frozen section of a Coles supermarket.

Nicholas Brady worked in the store at the time and found the ring among the peas and corn. When it went unclaimed for a year, he was allowed to keep it.

Nicholas’s wife, Fiona, has now stepped up the search for the original owner.

Whether they find her or not, full credit to Nicholas – he could easily have given it to Fiona and saved himself a few bob.

Maybe he could send it on to Daniel Roberts, a Brisbane bachelor who this weekend will be chased through Eagle Farm Racecourse by a group of women looking for love.

The winner of the Running with the Brides competition, organised by a Brisbane radio station, will be treated to a holiday in Las Vegas with the groom.

Some gentle advice to the contestants: if he sees you leading the pack and puts on the after-burners, then stop running. It’s just not meant to be.

Of course, if Daniel does meet the fleet-footed love of his life, he’ll have to treat her right.

And to do that, he’ll have to be “mentally sexy”, according to Melbourne dad, Clint Greagen.

The Preston Leader tells us that Clint is running a competition to find the father who does the best job maintaining a passionate relationship despite the daily grind.

Forget roses and lingerie this Valentine’s Day – Clint reckons doing the housework is the secret to an active and fulfilling sex life.

“Being mentally sexy basically means taking note of what daily stresses distract and tire your wife and doing your best to remove some of those stresses,” he said.

“While men are capable of intimacy at the drop of a hat, men know the distracted wife is one who is almost incapable of arousing desire.

“It has been said that one of the best sex aids a man could use is a vacuum cleaner.”

Fortunately Clint was available for a photo in his exceptionally tight underpants to make his point. Somehow.

But while it’s unlikely Tony “women do the ironing” Abbott would enter that competition, the part-time lifesaver would certainly be impressed by the actions of two young Queenslanders last week.

Butler kids Gemma (11) and Darren (9) showed composure beyond their years when their babysitter – the bloke who was supposed to be looking after them – nearly drowned in their swimming pool.

I’ll let the babysitter, Michael, set the scene:

“I’d just come back from playing tennis in the sun for four hours and I was hot and tired so we jumped in the pool,” he said.

“The next thing I remember was waking up on Sunday in hospital.

“I don’t remember it, but after I got in the pool I tried to break my record of swimming laps under water…”

You can probably guess what happened next.

After eight successful lengths, Gemma noticed something was very wrong. Michael had sunk and stopped breathing.

The heroic siblings pulled him from the water and he was rushed to hospital. Fortunately Michael lived to tell the tale – and to make a very generous offer.

“I won’t ever be able to repay them, but I will be babysitting them for free for the next few months.”