Suburban tales: Of nudism and monopoly
Naked cartwheels, foot spas for toddlers and a board game that teaches youngsters the ins and outs of the drug trade.
It’s been another varied week in the quirky world of local newspapers.
When an 80-year-old Adelaide woman found a board game on her front lawn, quite naturally she gave it to her grandson.
Unfortunately for grandma, the Monopoly-style game pits players against each other to buy hydroponic set-ups, before harvesting and selling the drug.
The charming game also makes reference to prostitution, sadomasochism, strippers, armed robbery, eye-gouging and “savagely attacking” women.
It was dumped in front of about 40 homes last month by the game’s makers, who carried out a similar stunt in 2007.
But while the future of drug dealing in Adelaide seems assured, I’m not sure how tough the next generation of Sydney-siders will be.
Children as young as two attending a Lower North Shore day care centre can now look forward yoga, meditation and foot spas.
And because it would be simply awful, darling, not to look the part, the kids can also have their hair and nails done.
Now, I don’t remember it clearly, but I’m fairly sure playschool for me involved eating, fighting and crying.
The times they are a-changin’.
Staying in Sydney, one man who could certainly use a relaxing spa treatment is a Hornsby homeowner seeing red over some infuriating council bureaucracy.
Robbie Gers was feeding his six-month-old baby when a 7kg bunya nut crashed through his roof, narrowly missing the pair.
It had dropped from an overhanging tree, which the council is now refusing to remove for aesthetic reasons.
They say he must stump up $7000 to de-nut the tree, or just put up with the occasional near-death experience.
Flying nuts could also be found over in Western Australia when two men were arrested for doing naked cartwheels outside a pub.
Egged on by pals, the pair put on a 4.15am gymnastics show for patrons at the Stage Door Bar and Brasserie.
The agile nudists were fined $200 each by a magistrate, who said the financial penalty would “take some of the fun out of it”.
But not all of the fun, mind.
And finally this week, a Melbourne clairvoyant has been named Victorian Psychic of the Year by her industry association.
Maureen Perry claims to have been seeing things others couldn’t since the age of five but was still surprised by the award.
“It was all a bit out of the blue,” the psychic said, immediately raising questions about the quality of the competition.
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