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Stop horsing around and hail our glorious leaders

Jason Tin

by Jason Tin

12 Jan 05:50am

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Filed under: Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, North Korea, Politics, Tony Abbott

89 comments

Earlier this week, we learned that North Korean dictator and supreme being Kim Jong-un is the “Genius of Geniuses”.

Kim Jong-un descended from The Heavens Above on the back of a powerful horse god he personally tamed to deliver you this piece. Picture: The Glorious And Very Democratic Republic Of North Korea

This life-changing knowledge flowed gently into our puny human brains through the magic of a video presumably produced by Kim Jong-un himself.

So far, no one - except a bunch of people in gulags - has disputed this. And why would you? Who wouldn’t want a leader who is the official Genius of Geniuses? A crazy person, that’s who.

North Korea has had an exceptional run of leaders. From eternal presidents to world champion golfers born under double rainbows to a chubby twenty-something who can command 1.2 million troops to wage endless, merciless war with only his mind (and his mouth).

People routinely mock the DPRK, but clearly they are doing something right.

All these years we’ve had it backwards. We’ve been howling about our leaders’ imperfections when we should have been pretending they don’t exist.

It’s the perfect system - anyone can be immortalized as the greatest leader ever born.

Whining about politicians’ failures and general incompetence is so draining.

And just think of the marching! Oh the marching! Why spend money on pitiful pump classes and running gear when you can endlessly raise your knees and feet in honour of our wondrous leader’s eternal life? Fitness and physical harmony would flow through our devoted bodies as we trudged in unity to the pleasing drone of “left, right, left”.

And the art! Instead of pompous, elitist portraits of mere mortals, the Archibald Prize would be dominated by images of our chosen leader doing wondrous things. This year’s collection, for instance, would feature such artistic classics as: Gillard riding a unicorn, Gillard riding a tank, Gillard riding a dragon and Gillard riding a motorbike. I’m talking about real art that can be enjoyed by real Australians.

But that’s not even the best part. No, the best part is that we get to make up awesome back stories for all our politicians.

Did you know, for example, that Tony Abbott was forged in the fires of Mount Doom and born to a fierce eagle and mighty leopard? A shooting star swallowing a rainbow heralded his birth, while a thousand renditions of Daryl Braithwaite’s Horses spontaneously broke out across the nation’s pubs.

Then there’s Julia Gillard, a world mixed martial arts champion, who was forced to fight her twin in the final round of an international competition hosted by Jet Li and a mysterious hooded figure with glowing eyes.

Her predecessor, Kevin Rudd, is said to appear in the background of countless ancient paintings and is believed to have invented the Matrix. In 2007, Rudd folded 2000 paper cranes in one sitting. When he returned three days later, the cranes had transformed into 500 puppies, which greeted their new master with joy and adulation.

And let’s not forget the time Bob Katter repelled an entire armada of Vikings from the shores of north Queensland. As their horned helms crept into view, Katter grinned - his eyes narrowing at the horizon and his shotgun resting on his shoulder. As the boats loomed over the waves and their drunken calls of bloodlust washed over the townspeople, Bob, son of Katter, stood firm. “Begone!” he cried, arms outstretched. “Begone!” And the Sun turned an ominous red and the seas boiled, as sails melted and grown men cast their swords into the bubbling waters with trembling hands.

So this year, Australia, let’s follow North Korea’s shining example and be confident that we – with a little lunacy and imagination – can one day produce our own Genius of Geniuses.

Most commented

89 comments

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    • TimB says:

      05:04am | 12/01/12

      “Then there’s Julia Gillard, a world mixed martial arts champion, who was forced to fight her twin”

      Ah! So that’s how we ended up with Real Julia and Fake Julia. One was her twin.

      ‘I never lied about a carbon tax, that was my evil twin’

      It all makes sense now.

      Reply

    • Nathan says:

      06:47am | 12/01/12

      get over it dope, or atleast bring the carbon tax up when relevant

    • TimB says:

      07:48am | 12/01/12

      We’re talking about how we percieve our leaders. It’s relevant.

      Dope.

    • acotrel says:

      08:20am | 12/01/12

      Now have a look at this one which is similar to all the others on youtube, where her comment has been cut off mid-sentence:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApCwoj35d3M

      Now tell me that she hasn’t been intentionally taken out of context by a bit of judicious editing !

    • Brian says:

      08:25am | 12/01/12

      Actually Nathan, I thought that was pretty funny. If it then went on to KEEP complaining about the tax (rather than a single line), THEN it would be an issue.

    • nossy says:

      08:45am | 12/01/12

      @TimB Timmy we asll know you are a Liberal Party Member but dont you think it weak and gutless your man of steel Dr NO aka Tones Abbott did NOT bother to turn up to the QLD Flood ceremonies this week - he was on holidays chasing sharks in and out of the water. Meanwhile QLD continues to rebuild in no thanks to Abbott or the LNP who disgustedly OPPOSED THE FLOOD LEVY! Shame TimB shame! PM Gillard was there Timmy.

    • Anubis says:

      09:24am | 12/01/12

      @ acotrel - give it up. Yes she did go on to state that she intended to price carbon but the policy presented was to determine the best way to do it, formulate the strategy and plan (through consultation with affected parties and the public) then present it as an election platform at the next election. She lied whichever way you look at it.

      And the words “there will be no carbon tax under a Government I lead” convey a pretty solid message, especially when you link it to Wayne Swan’s comment when aske dif his party intended to introduce a carbon tax in this term he stated “if anyone thinks we are going to introduce a carbon tax they are deluded”

    • RyaN says:

      09:32am | 12/01/12

      @TimB: Perhaps this years Archibald prize will be dominated by an image of Gillard playing full forward for the Bulldogs, or was that her evil twin lying again?

    • ZSRenn says:

      09:52am | 12/01/12

      Don’t worry about TimB,

      They have nothing!

      Nathan is reduced to calling people dope because he can’t defend this the worst government in Australian history or at least since Goff.

      It’s a close call!

      lol actoral How do take out of context these words

      “There will no carbon tax under a government I lead.”

      I know who’s doing the editing and it ain’t this side of the argument.

      Time to head for Hong Kong to catch my flight. See you I get there punchers and I hope you all have a great year of the Dragon!

      I guess that makes it Julia’s Year!

    • AdamC says:

      10:15am | 12/01/12

      @TimB, good call!

      @Nathan, lighten up, please. She lied, TimB made a joke about it. The joke was funny because she lied. Labor automatons are bizarre!

      @Acetroll, if JuLiar was taken out of context it was because she *wanted* to be. Because she knew that a carbon tax would be unpopular, she was doing her level best to make voters think she wouldn’t introduce one. In other words, your argument that she isn’t a liar relies on her being an idiot.

    • Markus says:

      11:37am | 12/01/12

      So which was the evil twin? Neither had a goatee, which as we all know is the only reliable way to determine which is the evil twin, so I was never able to figure it out.

      And which one emerged victorious?

    • james says:

      12:47pm | 12/01/12

      There would have not been a carbon tax if the ALP won the election outright. However you all know that wasn’t the case, and the newly formed coalition between the greens and ALP changed the policy position.

      No lying at all, at worst a broken promise.

    • Anubis says:

      01:17pm | 12/01/12

      @ James - that is just a cop-out statement. B Brown was not holding a gun to Julia’s head. What was he going to do if she followed the plan outlined during the election - desert Labor and side with the Liberals. It would be a cold day in hell before the Greens would ever seriously consider that.

      It is just that JG has no intestinal fortitude and seems to be happy to bend over and say aaah just to ensure that her precarious grip on power was not swayed. Any person who is of the right calibre to be a Prime Minister would have told Bobby boy to sit down and shut up while we do it properly. Instead she caved in when it was not necessary.

    • james says:

      02:06pm | 12/01/12

      @Anubis

      Works both ways mate, Tony tries to sell his rear end and offer a billion dollar hospital in Hobart for Wilkie. By your reckoning Tony was behaving in exactly the same way.

      To bitch and moan that the outcome did not suit your political or ideological beliefs is childish.

      As for the carbon price, it moves to an ETS in 3 years, but something tells me you already knew that.

    • Yuri says:

      02:45pm | 12/01/12

      @James

      The thing is, Wilkie (and most of the independents) could’ve gone either way, so both sides had to offer “bribes” to get them on side. The Greens were never going to side with the Liberals, so Gillard did not need to offer the carbon tax bribe.

      The fact that both Gillard and Swan thought it necessary to emphatically state that there would not be a carbon tax indicates they knew the greater populace would not vote in favour of one. To then push through the unnecessary bribe policy, knowing it is unsupported by the majority, shows a distinct lack of fortitude in representing the Labor party and the electorate.

    • Anubis says:

      02:45pm | 12/01/12

      @ James - I do not support Tony or the Liberal Party. Both Gillard and Abbott are reprehensible suck holes and neither deserve to lead this country. As for “...in 3 years…’ Yes I know that but between now and then the carbon price will increase every year, the compensation (which is a load of bollocks as well) does not. And what happens to this compensation after the ETS kicks in and Australian industry is at the mercy of the devious scumbag carbon traders from places like India?

      Not a single carbon trading market has prospered - the European one is crumbling (just like their economy), the few states in America who set up a Carbon trading market are having to scale back or abandon them. The whole bullshit is based on smoke and mirrors. The only real impact it will have on Australia is to see billions of dollars sent overseas in exchange for bits of paper with the magic words carbon credits printed on them. And these credits are created by corporations such as power companies in India who are building coal fired power stations because they are a “third world” country and, as such, have been allowed to create carbon credits to sell to western countries, no matter how badly they pollute. The more power stations they commission, the more credits they generate.

      Yet if a power company in Australia were to build new technology coal fired power stations to replace some of the La Trobe valley stations they are not permitted to create carbon credits to mirror the emissions reductions that come as a result. The whole thing is like Gillard’s carbon tax - a means of wealth redistribution, nothing more, nothing less.

    • james says:

      03:10pm | 12/01/12

      @Yuri

      There was no guarantee of the greens supporting labor, and they needed Bandt’s vote in the house of reps to form government.

      @Anubis

      Energy from the sun is free, the Chinese are the largest manufacturer of solar panel’s. Thats the tech of the future, feel free to keep burning dirty mr coal.

      I wonder how China’s carbox tax will destroy all their jobs, although a lot less per ton, they bill will be massive given the amount of co2 they emit.

      Thats right, Australia is going it alone.

    • Ben C says:

      03:56pm | 12/01/12

      @ james

      Solar, tech of the future? Maybe when they can develop panels that don’t need replacing as often as they do.

      I won’t comment on the China front, because we haven’t seen the designs of their carbon tax.

    • James says:

      04:40pm | 12/01/12

      There will not be a carbon tax under a government I lead!

    • James says:

      04:53pm | 12/01/12

      Nossy, I love the way the MSM and the left talk of Abbott being Mr. “No”. Q: As a counterweight to this criticism can you provide me instances of where Gillard, Labor, and the Greens just so happen to always say “yes” to suggestions put forward by Abbott ... such as let’s say, hmmm, Nauru? How about Abbott warning Julia not to abolish the Australian Building and Construction Commissioner which has reversed union thuggery and criminal behaviour since its inception but which the unions now want abolished, will JG say “Yes Tony we can”? Will the Greens say “Yes Tony we can” etc. to anything he suggests? I will leave other examples to yourself or others here. It seems to me that the real ‘No’ people in this Parliament are your friends on the left Nossy, ah but what the heck it just doesn’t fit the narrative or the tribal fantasy does it?

    • acotrel says:

      05:21am | 12/01/12

      If you are aware that you are being indoctrinated, the conditioning is ineffective !  It is a tragedy when people are not aware when it is happening to them.  The situation in North Korea is obscene, and a real worry. - It sets an example for control freaks elsewhere. There is only one reason I would ever go to war - it is to fight for democracy.  The basic human right to participate is worth fighting for.
      There is always a conundrum involving democracy and control, but the situation in North Korea is intolerable.

      Reply

    • Craig says:

      07:59am | 12/01/12

      Or is it?

      In Australia we have a democratic system because we get to choose between Labor and the Coalition, with the ‘radicals’ able to vote for The Greens.

      However is this really a choice? Both parties support offshore asylum seeker processing, both support a 5% reduction in carbon emissions, both support the car industry’s survival, both oppose gay marriage in fact (if not in principle) - remember that Labor changed its platform from onshore asylum seeker processing last November, before that they said they supported onshore despite acting differently.

      what choice do we really have in our democracy?

      Where’s the real differences in approach, the big ideas that make nations? Where are the big thinkers?

      Why do we have a 19th Century system attempting (badly) to manage a 21st Century society?

      I think Australians have been very firmly indoctrinated into the belief that ‘democracy’ means duopoly, with the same tired ideas being spun by both groups with spin used to create the perception of difference.


      We quibble over the flavour of the snacks rather than questioning whether they are healthy for us at all.

    • Craig of North Brisbane says:

      02:15pm | 12/01/12

      @Craig: The result is that if you speak up against the prevailing orthodoxy here, you might get called a goose on the Internet.  If you speak up against it in North Korea, you and your family get shot.

      Our political system ain’t that bad, relatively speaking.

    • papachango says:

      02:17pm | 12/01/12

      @Craig - So we’re no better (or can’t criticise) the North Korean government because you don’t like either Labor or Liberal? Sheesh, no wonder we don’t take Greens supporters seriously.

      Newsflash - anyone can vote Green if they like, but 90% of the popluation choose not to - possibly because they don’t want to de-industrialise the economy, and pursue a whole bunch of outdated Marxist ideas. I don’t see how this is a failing of democracy. In fact I get the very strong impression from several leading Greens that they would prefer a NK-style totalitarian dictatorship where they are in charge. Nk would have low carbon emissions after all.

      Clive Hamilton has talked about the ‘suspension of democratic processes’, even Bob Brown has talked explicitly about a world parliament. Your comment in response to the premise that the situation in Nk is intolerable - ‘or is it?’ is yet another confirmation that within every Green there’s a dictator waiting to come out.

    • Mark says:

      02:44pm | 12/01/12

      @Craig, good point, bit of perspective. I will ask you one question, though. Do you think our system of Government is the RIGHT way?? We understand it’s not as bad as DPKR but most uneducated voters in Australia, nay, the world assume a Democratic Society is a Morally Just society. That is not the case at all and it is blatant misinformation spread by the US Government. They are the one’s exporting Democracy through force. They are the one’s limiting our development to their pre-planned, money making goals. They are the one’s spending billions on Military when people starve. If you want to look at the ills of the world, look in your own back yard. That is where they start and that is where they can end. But won’t until regular people like you wake up and smell the roses.

      @Papachango- Ever heard of false flag terror?? The Greens are kind of the same thing. Yes, we do have third option, but it is so ridiculously extreme it makes people want to vote more conservatively. Thus, they return to the centre left/ centre right thing that we’ve got going on here in Aus and guess what, nothing ever changes.. It backfired last election because the Greens have everyone by the balls. You might no like either JG or TA but everyone hates BB..

      Not everything is as black and white as you people make it out to be. People lie, cheat and steal for a lot less than world domination. Think about it

    • papachango says:

      03:34pm | 12/01/12

      @Mark - so lemme get this straight so that I can ‘wake up and smell the roses’ as you say.

      The Greens, instead of being a front for International Socialism and one world government, are actually a front for neo-conservatism/big business or whatever, and are set up to look cartoonishly extreme so that the ‘sheeple’ will keep voting Liberal or Labor, who are one and the same anyway.

      That’s a conspiracy theory I haven’t heard before… Bob Brown the right wing plant… lol. Though if it’s true, you’d better tell Lee Rhiannon to tone it down a notch, she’s overacting her communist part.

    • Mark says:

      09:51am | 13/01/12

      @Papachango- I never said the Greens nor Bob Brown were complicit in the affair now did I. You just made that up.. Please go on with your arrogant, naive little rant. I am waiting for an intelligent response not marred with self importance and attempted wit.

    • Against the Man says:

      05:37am | 12/01/12

      I’ll settle for a painting of Gillard doing her job!

      Reply

    • nossy says:

      05:59am | 12/01/12

      @Against the Man   no sign of Dr NO at this weeks flood ceremonies in QLD ATM - hes on “holidays” we hear - what a gutless , pathetic excuse you have for a leader fella - surely you can see what a hopeless cause it is you champion with Abbott ATM - then again maybe not. hahahhahahha

    • Nathan says:

      06:49am | 12/01/12

      ATM
      Yet another inspired hilarious remark. You could never be accused of being original in your comments

    • George says:

      07:17am | 12/01/12

      @ ATM

      I’ll go halves with you!

    • john says:

      08:01am | 12/01/12

      @nossy, In respect to those killed, the ‘ceremonies’ seemed more like PR stunts for pollies. If pollies were to attend a ceremony for every disaster in Australia that ever happened they would be at a ceremony nearly every day.

    • TM says:

      08:22am | 12/01/12

      As far as I’m concerned Abbott and Gillard can stay away. I remember seeing Gillard on TV (before our power was cut) with Bligh. No compassion, just a stone faced hag who looked like she didn’t even want to be there. Bligh displayed her leadership qualities (don’t like Bligh) and exposed the lack of such in Gillard.

      Gillard is up here in an attempt to lift her popularity, she should just piss off and leave Qld to grieve as she offers nothing! I was flooded out and a third of my street has yet to rebuild. No sympaphy for either Gillard or Bligh in my street.

    • james says:

      09:34am | 12/01/12

      @Nossy…..he didn’t support them when they needed it financially, and now runs away from any emotional support.

      Leadership material he ain’t.

    • Bomb78 says:

      09:43am | 12/01/12

      nossy: from someone who lived and breathed the floods last year, the last thing we want to see is politicians running around this week. Maybe we could deal with the Governor and Governor General - let the politicians be somewhere else.

    • Borderer says:

      09:45am | 12/01/12

      @nossy
      Abbott actually was driving a load of produce from Gatton into Brisbane the week before, he actually drove through the flood affected areas. What he didn’t do is sit around in front of a media gallery before making wooden speaches all the time wondering where the buffet was.
      I suppose seeing the recovery process from the road might give you a different perspective than from a tax payer funded helicopter at altitude but I could be mistaken.

    • Tracie says:

      05:59am | 12/01/12

      What would Putin do?

      Reply

    • ShamWow says:

      07:59am | 12/01/12

      @Tracie, dance to Rasputin by Boney M.

    • marley says:

      08:11am | 12/01/12

      Walk on water while delivering karate kicks to passing killer whales and wrestling sharks with his bare hands.

    • subotic says:

      08:49am | 12/01/12

      Putin would ask “What Would Snooki Do?”

    • TChong says:

      06:14am | 12/01/12

      Yep, no doubt about it , those NK are crazeeee!!!!!!!!
      Why cant they glorify and be syncophantic to proper role models ?
      The Karadashians , for example. How about Miranda Kerr ?, or Snooki ?
      Commercial TV is constantly trying to flog their in house stars ,/ starlets as somehow news worthy.
      We are also blessed with god appointed super heroes like the Windsors.
      Western culture with its celeb and royalty obsession are in no position to sneer at the NKs.

      Reply

    • marley says:

      08:14am | 12/01/12

      @TChong - well, I dunno.  I think there’s a difference between trying to sell a brand (the Kardashians; starlets; Master chefs) for money, and sending people to gulags for not buying the hype.

    • subotic says:

      08:47am | 12/01/12

      Hands off Snooki, TChong.

      Never has there been a more pure and talented soul to ever grace the audio-visual spectrum we call television.

      What Would Snooki Do is the new What Would Jesus/ Elvis/ Satan Do.

      All hail the Snookster.

    • Wynston Cruso says:

      02:03pm | 12/01/12

      I still rely on what Brian Boitano would do.

    • James says:

      05:08pm | 12/01/12

      TChong: we certainly are in a position to sneer at NKs. In democracy, people have the ‘choice’ to either see these celebs as role models aspirational or otherwise whereas in NK they don’t choices at all and the means of achieving this gives us endless fodder to rightfully sneer at them which I will happily continue to do!

    • Al says:

      07:21am | 12/01/12

      I’ll settle for any Australian politician doing the job they were elected to do!

      Reply

    • Al says:

      07:59am | 12/01/12

      This was meant to be a reply to the post above by ATM, sorry.

    • subotic says:

      08:48am | 12/01/12

      Al, you’ll be settling for nothing then, mate…

    • Al says:

      10:28am | 12/01/12

      subotic - unfortunately I agree.

    • Mahhrat says:

      07:24am | 12/01/12

      “Gillard riding Bob Brown”

      FTFY.

      Reply

    • Borderer says:

      08:39am | 12/01/12

      I think I just threw up a little bit….

    • Flexo says:

      11:58am | 12/01/12

      @ Boarder

      Now you know how Tim feels.

    • Don King says:

      08:02am | 12/01/12

      Would love to see the great Gillard have her ‘no carbon tax under a government I lead’ back-flip be made a lesson for all Year 10 students on how to get ahead in life through ‘bending’ the truth. A great moral lesson for our youngsters. I don’t think any country with sane citizens would call Gillard a “Genius of Geniuses”. If anything she has proven quite the opposite.

      Reply

    • Mokey says:

      12:49pm | 12/01/12

      You can guarantee when the next election rolls around that line will be on every tv/radio/billboard add the liberal party pays for.  Should make for more annoying than usual election adds.

    • Tom says:

      02:59pm | 12/01/12

      Mokey, yes its a shame that the Australian swinging voters are stupid enough to forget Labor lies if not constantly reminded.

    • john says:

      08:08am | 12/01/12

      The reason why pollies don’t ride real horses in Australia is because we are the horse they are whipping.

      Reply

    • Aussie Wazza says:

      08:24am | 12/01/12

      Cast off the scales from your eyes.

      I’m here, ready, waiting for the call.

      Reply

    • Apathy is mankind's greatest sin says:

      02:05pm | 12/01/12

      Are you really? The revolution will not be televised.

    • subotic says:

      08:50am | 12/01/12

      Will he be as ronery as his glorious leader dad?

      Parker and Stone, where are you when the world needs you?

      Reply

    • RyaN says:

      10:58am | 12/01/12

      They must be relishing all this, how much material would they have scored over the past year.

    • AFR says:

      09:01am | 12/01/12

      I woud have been more impressed if Kim was born from an egg on a mountain top.

      Reply

    • Paul says:

      09:52am | 12/01/12

      Sarah Hanson-Young, the Genius of Genuises single-handedly saves every tree in protected forests by willing loggers to chainsaw their own heads off.

      Bob Brown is immortalised by discovering that God is actually homosexual following years of personal discussion with the diety and is cannonised by the great Tom Cruise and John Travolta is a closed closet ceremony.

      Julia Gillard mysteriously disappears into a mountain hideaway with Barack Obama causing the eagle and the kangaroo to form a giant fying boxing kangaroo to watch over us and hunt down climate change denialists.

      Tony Abbott upon meeting with the Hitler Youth Pope develops magical powers to repel the boats, cause muslims to repent their sins and convert to christianity, make men refuse the use of condoms, the cruel practise of abortion is forever outlawed and all able bodied people suddenly choose to become fearless volunteer surf lifesavers and bushfire fighters upon which they are instantly awarded the convetted prize of ‘Knight of the Order of the Abbott’.

      Reply

    • Tanya says:

      10:14am | 12/01/12

      Kim Jong-Un is incredibly dangerous. You’ve only got to look at him. It’s disturbing and a source of concern for the world. If he knows that the media in certain countries is taking the piss, he’s liable to fire something in that direction. Seriously.

      Reply

    • Parlay says:

      10:30am | 12/01/12

      Not sure this is really true.

    • john says:

      10:56am | 12/01/12

      @Tanya “...he’s liable to fire something in that direction. Seriously.”

      Perhaps, provided they don’t all starve to death first.

      The N.Koreans thought & miscalculated that obtaining nukes will provide them with power & leverage - they are learning and probably wondering just how much more pathetically miserable they will be as the world ignores their starving masses.

      Something Iran is about to learn the hard way.

      Do not you expect the world to heel from fear & threat from developing or crude nukes.

    • Markus says:

      11:46am | 12/01/12

      North Korea’s most successful ballistic missile launch made it about as far as the Sea of Japan, so even in the unlikely scenario he does fire in whatever direction, it is more likely to take out his own country than the one targetted.

    • old fart says:

      10:25am | 12/01/12

      who is that wanker in the photo sitting on Gunsynd’s back

      Reply

    • Scotchfinger says:

      10:42am | 12/01/12

      I find the facile tone of the original article, annoying. It implies that the North Korean people are hopelessly credulous and are unable to recognise propaganda; also that the propagandists themselves are simple minded. By a dubious analogy, the author suggests that Australians are similarly taken in by political myth-making.

      By all means write an article in the style of The Chaser, i.e. with the illusion of wit for easy digestion by the masses, but make sure you acknowledge the more subtle realities of realpolitik. The North Koreans are no doubt well aware of how the world views them - as Orwellian freaks - yet they play their game of brinkmanship very well. . Similarly, our politicians are very skilled in trying to second-guess the vast, treacly morass of public opinion, while still remaining credible. Give credit where it is due, I say, and marvel at the human condition that we can do evil for good ends, without a qualm.

      Reply

    • john says:

      11:17am | 12/01/12

      @Scotchfinger “yet they play their game of brinkmanship very well.”

      Lets turn the clock forward 8 years to 2020, Kim Un will be in his mid 30’s obesity will kick start health issues, millions would have died from starvation as its impossible for the next 8 years for that country not experience the catastrophic effects of severe climate change anomalies, under sanctions.

      If he makes the spark for war, he and his country won’t have enough fuel or supplies for a prolonged war. Not to mention that military hardware in most cases would be obsolete as we saw in gaddafi’s lybia whether its in working condition or not.

      He can only fire from one position and can only extend his reach for any type of devastating effect, which is likely to be met by a shield and render him ineffective.

      All he has is a horse for a Hollywood style show for his masses so he and his vast military leadership can enjoy the comforts of life, while the rest simply suffer and die prematurely .

      If china feeds North Korea with supplies, then it will become china’s problem if nukes start falling around them along the health issues with fall out - the rest of the world will just move on.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      12:11pm | 12/01/12

      I take your point John, and didn’t mean to imply that the NK military are particularly successful in regards to a long-term plan. But although as a polity they appear, let’s face it, quite mad, as a quasi-Stalinist cult they are extremely skilled. Part of our amazement is how Jong-il has maintained his weird grip on the country for so long. Can an entire nation be delusional? But of course I am not a scholar on this country so I really don’t know…

    • john says:

      07:43pm | 12/01/12

      @Scotchfinger “Can an entire nation be delusional?” 

      Every nation on the planet is delusional in its own unique way. The delusion morphs as we learn more from the point of view from our little plots carved out on the planet.

      In North Korea more so as individuals or as a collective they are the sum of their sphere of knowledge & experiences - they simply haven’t even evolved intellectually to any significant extent apart from crude nuclear weapons - knowledge that’s over a half a century old. Look what happened in the mid-east when they eventually became connected to the outside world, to realise their leaders fed them anti -western garbage only to maintain a grip on power and plunder their own nations wealth.

      As far as the picture of a gallant leader on a horse goes - as a symbol of power and knowledge, that image to me looks like something from the Napoleonic era.

      I wouldn’t want to be in the hierarchy of North Korea once those people wake up from their delusional state.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      10:39am | 13/01/12

      @ John,

      There is something particular about political delusions, as opposed to say, the delusion that the apocalypse is immanent (from medieval times). When you see your president announce on TV that your nation is prosperous and happy, as you contemplate eating your youngest child… this suggests an illusion classically illustrated by orwell, that 2 + 2 = 5. I agree that no country is completely immune from the cult of personality (i.e Napoleon, the third reich and Hitler) however it would take a particularly uneducated, unsophisticated people to allow the situation to become so absurd. At least Hitler promised something tangible, ie expansion of the German Empire. Also remember that the most intelligent north koreans must have something to gain in allowing themselves to be caught (knowingly) in the craziness. If I were stuck in an asylum, I personally would want to be an orderly rather than an inmate ha ha.

    • john says:

      03:35pm | 13/01/12

      @Scotchfinger “however it would take a particularly uneducated, unsophisticated people to allow the situation to become so absurd.”

      Indeed absurd from our point of view, however the Japanese until the US nuked them believed right up until the very end that the emperor of Japan was a god and they would all die for him.

      Therefore the situation from a North Korean’s point of view as some may contemplate cannibalising a child may seem ‘plausible’ - to them completely absurd to us.

    • Scotchfinger says:

      09:05pm | 13/01/12

      @john, yes the Asians are a bit of a puzzle to me, however I take for granted certain things; for instance, the importance of reason! And we can thank the ancient Greeks for that.

      One thing we should not underestimate with the NK situation, that is the application of fear tactics. In order to create a reality where ordinary people come to doubt their own judgement as to who is right and who is wrong, applying a constant threat can be enough to completely unbalance them. This is typically done by creating an impression of omniscience, that the ruling party are truly all powerful and all knowing. After a few generations, no wonder the majority of people would become like frightened sheep. Poor buggers.

    • Shane From Melbourne says:

      10:47am | 12/01/12

      I can certainly believe that Tony Abbott was born from an eagle and a leopard. Both are very stupid animals…..

      Reply

    • RyaN says:

      11:07am | 12/01/12

      @Shane From Melbourne: not as stupid as someone who claims an animal is stupider than himself. I will happily arrange for you and a Leopard to be placed in a cage together to decide who is stupider.

    • nossy says:

      11:31am | 12/01/12

      @RyaN keep us all posted on this upcoming event RyaN - must run as will contact Tom Waterhouse on “Lion” before odds shorten.

    • Yuri says:

      12:54pm | 12/01/12

      So you would agree that like an eagle, Abbott has great vision, and like a leopard, he can’t change his spots?

    • james says:

      01:16pm | 12/01/12

      Paul Keating aptly described Tony as an intellectual nobody, sums him up perfectly.

    • Shooter says:

      11:38am | 12/01/12

      RyaN is that you on your high horse. Happy New Year

      Reply

    • RyaN says:

      01:08pm | 12/01/12

      @Shooter: Nah mate, fell off my horse just got my nose in the air apparently. wink Happy New Year to you too.

    • Stinger says:

      02:02pm | 12/01/12

      I am glad that John Howard never decided to do a Kim Jong -il. Mind you with his bowling action we would never have swallowed the bs he was the worlds greatest cricketer.

      Hawkey would have been good though, we would never be wanting for beer tha’s for sure.

      Reply

    • papachango says:

      02:07pm | 12/01/12

      Still the young chubby one could learn a thing or two setting up an ego-tripping cult of personality from Turkmenbashi, the former president of Turkmenistan.

      Which other world leader has had a solid gold statue of themselves erected on a pedestal in the middle of town, set up on a rotating motor so that it faces the sun at all times?

      Reply

    • Wynston Cruso says:

      02:08pm | 12/01/12

      You should perhaps have photoshopped him riding a chocobo. I’ll just blur my eyes and pretend for lolz

      Reply

    • neo says:

      02:12pm | 12/01/12

      Ahahaha, Bob the son of Katter. Only it wasn’t simply “Begone”, it was:

      “Begone, leave this land to the farmers, because farmers are…well, when you look at it, it’s pretty clear who is who…and if you’re looking the wrong way…well, so be it…but we all know who you are…and things will be done. Yes.”

      Props on the article, I’m sure Kim Jr had a good laugh at it, sitting behind his HP laptop, while sipping on some vanilla Coke. Perhaps chewing on a Snickers bar as well.

      Reply

    • stephen says:

      09:05pm | 12/01/12

      He’s mad, and even if the rest of the population was acting tragic at his old man’s demise, then we are in trouble.
      Thank God for America.

      Reply

    • Sam says:

      07:02am | 13/01/12

      I havnt laughed like this in weeks, TA’s birth just had me in stitches! I wish i saw more comedy like this and less petty political bullshit in the comments

      Reply

    • Cheap Social Bookmarking Service says:

      10:39am | 17/06/12

      Zkqon4 Thanks a lot for the article post.Thanks Again. Cool.

      Reply
 
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