UPDATE 4.40pm: Barnaby Joyce has just put out his first press release as Shadow Finance Minister. You can read the full text after the jump - believe me, it’s worth it.
Tony Abbott has just announced quite an extensive reshuffle of his front bench, which, incidentally, rewarded a raft of Punch contributors including Scott Morrison, Bronwyn Bishop and Kevin Andrews with promotions.
You can read Sam Maiden’s news report of his press conference here. (The best line related to The Punch’s own Bronwyn Bishop, who’s been appointed Shadow Minister for Seniors - as Mr Abbott said: “She will be one of them” as well as representing them.)
But the biggest move was the appointment of Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce as Shadow Finance Minister. “Barnaby is an accountant from St George. He knows what it’s like to ensure the books are in order,” Mr Abbott said.
We’d thought we’d re-introduce you to some of the world according to Barnaby, as posted on The Punch, starting with this line from his debut:
What is it that differentiates the political parties? Or is philosophy now no more than a bib handed out to be worn before the political chamber game, a contrived or acquired vocal tribalism?
You can read that post here. Or for the full Barnaby experience click here.
In praising Senator Joyce and his unique style the new Opposition Leader lamented the lack of “originals and authentics” in modern Australian politics before declaring the Queensland Senator was quite clearly both. There’s no doubt about that.
This is the full text of Senator Joyce’s first press release as Shadow Finance Minister.
SENATOR BARNABY JOYCE Leader of the Nationals in the Senate 8th December 2009
HELLO WAYNE
I must admit that after the appointment to Shadow Finance Minister my comic relief came from Treasurer Swan’s media release stating that I must follow Labor’s strict rules on fiscal discipline.
It’s like Captain Calamity’s instructions on yoga. There’s one thing that is absolutely certain, I will not be taking any lead, whatsoever, from a crowd who have taken us from having tens of billions of dollars in the bank, to debt up to our eyeballs, with more dogs tied up around town than Bernie Madoff.
Labor has gone on a spending bender and is now waiting for the fairy godmother to come and rub the red ink from the books.
Let’s get this right from the start. The Labor Party have not got a clue what money is worth. They have no respect for debt.
Currently, so the Australian people know, the debt they owe, to a range of countries such as China, the good people of Japan and the Middle East and everyone in between, amounts to $115.71 billion dollars.
I will bet you London to a brick that this debt is only going to go in one direction under the Labor Government and that is up.
Why is there no exit strategy to pay off the debt that they have lumbered Australia with?
A long range forecast for the Labor Party is a cacophony of confusion, with a range of excuses that it might be bad but it is not as bad as some countries.
Over time, the countries they are comparing us with will get worse and worse and worse, until we end up once more with the Labor Party saying that our financial position is preferable to that of certain South American dictatorships and collapsed Eastern European economies.
The good news is, if they wanted to, there is the capacity now to discontinue on the path they have us on.
That opportunity will disappear if they keep spending borrowed money the way they are spending it at the moment.
Please Wayne, stop the media releases. Your last one brought the house down.
Facebook Recommendations
Read all about it
Punch live
Up to the minute Twitter chatter
OK, so am I the last person in Australia to see this Herald front page mockup thru the Rinehart lens? http://t.co/LSNBPkVl
RT @mumbletwits: Our judgement is that ANZ will lift interest rates despite the RBA announcement, but only by about 0.06 per cent. #hindsightbrokers
Loving this photo of Arnie and Sly Stallone together in hospital for treatment. Great shot http://t.co/BD7FkF5e
Recent posts
The latest and greatest
Would you kill for a job?
Who would work in an abattoir? Most of us have done jobs we didn’t want to do because we needed…
Friday Dilemma: child cruelty or harmless fun?
Parenting. It’s the new oneupmanship. Ah, how quaint the days now seem when parents could raise…
Hipsters with hip replacements
Someone once told me that when people reach a certain age they begin dressing in the manner they did…
Nosebleed Section
choice ringside rantings
From: Punch on: Open thread 09/02/2012
marley says:
I'm one of the older ones, so I've certainly seen a few changes in my time. When I started school I learned to write with a nib pen, dipped in an inkwell (no, I'm not kidding). My mother became a dab hand at getting inkstains out of my clothes. Flicking ink at one another in the classroom was an essential… [read more]From: I’d rather have a piece of toast than listen to crap lyrics
Erick says:
Led Zeppelin are responsible for my all-time favourite mixed metaphor: "There you sit, sit and stare, like a book on a shelf rusting." (Misty Mountain Hop) I laugh every time I hear it. Hmmm, I believe I've decided what to play on the way to work today. [read more]Gentle jabs to the ribs
No wuckin forries. These nuckin futs are tuckin fops
Well, puck me with a fitchfork. The F-word is apparently an acceptable part of Australian speech. That’s… Read more
Most commented